"I Don't Want To"

"..."

Let's take a moment to compose ourselves regarding Asakusa Toru's current state of mind.

The moment the Diary fell into his hands, the shackles of conventional social ethics and morality were naturally broken. He no longer needed to worry about monogamy, nor did he need to care about being devoted and faithful.

That makes sense.

Therefore, he will use the rooftop incident to naturally develop a physical relationship with Kushida Kikyo, and under Kushida Kikyo's encouragement, he will also have sex with Sakura Airi.

He would readily accept Shiranami Chihiro's confession without hesitation, and at the same time, he would not choose to break free from Ichinose Honami's embrace at this moment.

To passively accept one's fate? To neither take initiative nor agree nor refuse?

No, that's not the emotion I felt.

Is it simply an indulgence born from a pure desire for beautiful girls, a relentless pursuit of them?

No, perhaps to some extent, but if it was only that level of desire, he could have satisfied it before entering school, before receiving the Diary.

At this level, money can fulfill one's desires.

So, what was he really thinking? How much of his affection was genuine?

The answer is, it's all true.

What a nutcase! Why would you sleep with someone you don't like? If you don't like him, why pretend to like him when you don't?

If you truly dislike someone, even contact and communication will be torture.

Of course he likes it!

He can like it, he is capable of liking it, he simply likes it.

I love the contrast in Kushida Kikyo's personality, I love Kushida Kikyo moments of grievance, and I love Kushida Kikyo uninhibited nature that only reveals her true self in front of me.

I like Sakura Airi's cowardice, I like Sakura Airi's innocence, I like Sakura Airi's need for herself.

I love Shiranami Chihiro's youthfulness, Shiranami Chihiro straightforwardness, and Shiranami Chihiro incredibly cute and self-loving nature.

Asakusa Toru is in love with a beautiful girl who loves him.

Naturally, he also liked Ichinose Honami.

But launching a reckless attack will only force people to retreat and avoid it.

He could certainly tell that Ichinose Honami truly liked him. Whether it was because of the past or because of their time together over the past few months, anyone who wasn't an idiot would be able to sense that feeling.

But she felt it was fine this way; she liked maintaining the current distance and didn't want to change the status quo.

There was no need for Asakusa Toru to forcibly disrupt this balance.

Unless she comes to her own conclusion.

Just like now.

"I'm not drunk." The arms around her neck tightened a little more, Ichinose Honami breathed warmly as she said, "I've never been drunk from the beginning."

Even if someone has a low alcohol tolerance, it's not easy for Ichinose Honami to get drunk from sharing a bottle of wine with three people.

She was just asleep.

I simply went to sleep, as if escaping from my own desires.

But that won't do; that won't work.

So, somewhat unlike herself, Ichinose Honami hugged him from behind.

"You and Chihiro are dating now, aren't you?" she said.

It is not a question, but a statement.

These are not guesses, but statements of certainty.

Ichinose Honami is neither blind nor deaf.

She wasn't actually sleeping soundly, and she didn't actually wake up late.

The blush on her pretty face wasn't from a cold or fever, and the wrinkled white dress and asymmetrical white socks weren't from the stuffiness.

It's about time to stop this self-deception.

"I won't say anything like 'I want you two to break up,'" the girl said softly, her voice devoid of any unusual emotion. "She was the one who confessed first, and I was the one who didn't respond."

"But if possible, I hope you won't make Chihiro sad."

"She's a good child, a child who brings happiness to people far more than I do."

"She doesn't like me; her sexual orientation is normal, not perverse."

One sentence after another, Ichinose Honami poured out her words unilaterally.

"So, if you want to write a diary, just write about me; if you want to mock me, mock me; if you want spoilers, just lay my life bare for them to see." After a slight pause, Ichinose Honami said this.

Chapter 190 "I Don't Want To"

What are some things to do after starting a relationship?

First and foremost, of course, is holding hands. While such a relationship might ideally be established before a confession, once the relationship is confirmed, it's like unlocking a device—you can grab the other person's hand without any hesitation.

Her soft, boneless hand was held gently in Yingying's grasp, the silky smooth texture clearly conveying the beauty of a young girl.

What should you do after holding hands?

After thinking for Asakusa Toru decided that it should be a hug, or rather, closing the distance between them.

There is a clear division of distance between people.

Safe distance between strangers, safe distance between acquaintances, and safe distance between friends.

Once this distance limit is exceeded, an unnatural feeling will occur in the body.

But once the relationship is established, this distance will be reduced to zero.

Skin contact is permitted.

The next step, naturally, is Kissing, involving mucous membrane contact and the touch of lips and teeth.

They exchange and plunder each other's pheromones to satisfy the emotions rising within them.

If things fall into place naturally, you will go even further.

To explore, to investigate, to research.

Unexpected sensations and shapes will be crudely sketched in the mind through actions akin to the blind men and the elephant.

Waist circumference, hip circumference, bust circumference.

The measurements that cannot be easily estimated from the numbers on paper can be calculated by experts.

It was at this point that Asakusa Toru was able to express his feelings.

There was no exaggeration.

Like.

Small has its advantages, large has its advantages, but the perfect balance is clearly more captivating.

"Um..."

Mouse sensitivity corresponds to cursor movement speed, and also to 'response' speed.

When the knuckles are brought together, and the obstacle preventing them from coming together feels elastic, an unconscious response will sound.

'The girl's breathing was disordered'

The girl's body trembled slightly.

The girl's eyes were fixed on her.

Therefore, what will recede and fade away are the things blocking our way.

Each of the beautiful girls has her own unique charm.

Kushida Kikyo has a figure that is just right and above the excellent level in everything. There is nothing that is a hindrance from top to bottom. Whether it is the front or the back, the heart and lungs or the thighs, she is excellent enough.

While she may not excel in any particular field, Kushida Kikyo possesses enough talent to ensure she doesn't fall too far behind anywhere.

Sakura Airi has an all-encompassing heart; big is good, and good is big. Whether it's her chest, hips, or legs, she has ample yet not bloated fat.

Top-tier, towering, and majestic, a realm so proud that looking up at it would block out the sun.

In contrast, Shiranami Chihiro is more similar to Kushida Kikyo.

However, the two are clearly fundamentally different.

There are quite obvious differences in both the details and the feelings, but compared to those minor details, the most important difference is indeed the 'reaction'.

The different reactions each girl displays to various pranks are actually the essence of their being and the most distinctive feature.

Shy, coy, shameless, self-righteous, and courageous.

So beautiful.

The wonderful experience of Asakusa Toru, through his constant climbing and exploration of the mountains, also sparked a craving for carbohydrates.

Exercise requires energy replenishment, especially for activities like mountain climbing that test endurance and willpower.

Compared to all sorts of snacks, what satisfies him the most is definitely carbohydrates.

Big steamed buns, small steamed buns.

A delicate carving knife made a mark on the white surface, and following the direction of the blossoming, Asakusa Toru took a bite.

Like.

However, while I like it, eating too many carbs can make me feel a bit dizzy when I get into the mood.

Just like now.

As Ichinose held him tightly in her arms on the balcony, whispering these words to himself, Asakusa Toru felt slightly dizzy.

It's not that his body is so weak that it can't digest these carbohydrates.

But, well, reminiscing about things takes a lot of time and energy.

Especially when the sense of immorality is overwhelming.

Shiranami Chihiro wasn't the only one enjoying the feeling of immorality; he certainly felt the same way.

Asakusa Toru likes Shiranami Chihiro, but he also likes Ichinose Honami.

I love her gentleness, her tolerance, and her sweetness.

Ichinose Honami, just as she is called, is a pure Archangel.

Therefore, the twisted feeling of emotions being tainted beside Angel makes it all the more likely to make one's heart race.

It's as if she might scatter photinia blossoms onto her wings at any moment, making it almost irresistible.

... Asakusa Toru felt he was beyond saving.

But if he's beyond saving, then so be it; he was already beyond redemption.

But he truly hadn't expected to face such a situation.

'If you want to keep a diary, just write about me.'

'Just write it for me'

'Alright'

'Alright'

"..."

Holy crap, box!

Asakusa Toru was truly astonished; in the three months since he enrolled, this was arguably the only thing that had genuinely exceeded his expectations.

It was absolutely terrifying, chilling, and made me feel uneasy all over.

--If it weren't for Ichinose Honami saying this.

Fortunately, it was Ichinose Honami who said these words, and in such a humble tone, as if making a plea.

He wasn't as panicked as I'd expected.