Assassination Classroom: I Can Scheme Too!
Chapter 3

A Little Teasing, a Whole Lot of Fun / Wait, Why Are You Here?!

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Right, the future. Hoya knew the future was incredibly dangerous.

Whether it was the clash between Miyabi Nagumo and Horikita Manabu, the showdown between Ayanokoji's father and the chairman, or the battles among the four first-year classes, they were all tangled messes.

Still, being in Class C was a pretty good deal. If the sky fell, someone taller would hold it up. If Ryuen Shoko couldn't handle it, Shiina Hiyori could take over, and if all else failed, someone else could step in. What did any of it have to do with him?

At worst, he'd spend a little less every month. Back when he'd been a college student scraping by on a few hundred yuan a month because he'd blown his money on gacha, he'd managed just fine. What did he have to fear in high school?

Besides, it was always the main characters who bickered and schemed against one another. What did any of that have to do with a little nobody like him?

As the strategist in the shadows, he could always play it safe. If Ryuen Shoko really couldn't take it anymore, he'd probably be the first to run.

He wasn't some big shot. He was just an ordinary nobody.

But speaking of which, these points really were great. It'd be nice if he could get some more.

Though he thought that, Hoya knew he was just a useless kid who couldn't do anything. Where was he supposed to earn points?

In other web novels, the protagonist usually squeezed money out of Class C. After all, Class C's leader, Ryuen Kakeru, was a rich fool. He had some ability, but not much, and his intelligence was only a little better than a middle schooler's. His schemes were just petty tricks, so he was usually the one getting fleeced.

But Hoya was in Class C himself. How could he scam his own classmates?

What about the other classes? Class D? Those idiots were even poorer than he was. Class B? Take money from honest people? Forget it. He wasn't shameless enough to bully decent folks.

Were honest people supposed to be held at gunpoint?

At least, he couldn't do it.

Class A? Who could he scam there? Katsuragi or the bald guy? He figured he'd get beaten up no matter which one he tried.

Hoya considered himself an ordinary person, nowhere near the level of those two big shots. Even if he went head-to-head with Katsuragi, he wouldn't stand a chance.

Oh, right. Gathering intel... Where was he even supposed to go for that?

He wandered around aimlessly until he found himself in the cafeteria.

The cafeteria was pretty big, but it wasn't too crowded. It was mealtime, but the other grades hadn't finished class yet. And the first-years had just received a huge sum of money, so they were probably spending it freely instead of eating here.

"Hmm... I'll have... the vegetable set meal."

Hoya spotted the free vegetable set meal and decided to try it.

He'd loved vegetables since he was little. He liked meat, too, but he was pickier about it than vegetables. He'd eat anything, from bitter melon to green peppers.

"Could I get some meat on the side, too? I can pay with points."

Sure, he liked vegetables, but he also knew a meal should have a balance of meat and vegetables. So he paid extra for some meat and even added an egg.

He was only trying the vegetable set meal out of curiosity. It wasn't like he was broke. He had a hundred thousand points, so he didn't need to be especially frugal.

He was just like an ordinary person. It was like thinking he could put off his vacation homework until later, then watching the time slip away without noticing.

For him, money would just slip away without his noticing.

After paying a little less than everyone else, Hoya carried his food to a table and started eating.

How should he put it... It tasted pretty good.

Honestly, it was a prestigious high school, so it was bound to have something going for it. Having experienced high school in a small town in China, he could tell the cafeteria here was really great.

The cafeteria ladies didn't skimp on the portions. The food was made in huge batches, but it still tasted good. The classrooms had air conditioning, the paint wasn't peeling off the walls, and the dorms had single rooms instead of eight-person rooms with bunk beds. He really thought all of that was freaking amazing.

If life didn't come with so many other worries, maybe he really would've wanted to be a well-behaved student.

In a good mood, he dug into his food. He got so caught up in eating that he didn't even notice someone behind him.

"Classmate, do you really like vegetables?"

Hearing a very gentle voice, he turned around.

Well... she was well-endowed.

She must be from Class C... No, wait, he was in Class C, but he'd never seen her before. Could she be from Class D?

That couldn't be right. Class D was full of problem students. How could an angel like her be there?

Hoya had only read fanfiction and hadn't read the original novel or watched the anime, so he didn't recognize that this little angel was the Class B representative, Ichinose Feibo... No, Honami.

"Um... They're all right. Is there a problem?"

Although he didn't know who she was, he'd read enough fanfiction to know that only a Class B student could have such an angelic personality.

The only reason he'd first wondered whether she was from Class C or Class D was her size. With that much capacity, there was no way she could be merely a B.

"Nothing. I was just curious why you chose the vegetable set meal."

"Points are precious, after all. Might as well save where I can."

"But doesn't everyone get a hundred thousand points each month? You don't need to be so frugal, do you?"

"Heh. Do you really think so?"

Hoya flashed a sinister... Nike-like grin. He suddenly felt that acting cool could be pretty satisfying.

He looked the pretty girl up and down. Since she was attractive, he didn't mind saying a few more words.

Ahem. Damn this looks-obsessed world. What could he do? He was still a virgin. It wasn't as if seeing a woman made him unable to move, but wasn't it normal to act a little differently around a pretty girl?

"Don't you have any friends with you? Want to eat and talk?"

"Just a moment. I'll let my classmates know first."

Ichinose had initially only been curious about why this classmate had ordered the vegetable set meal. But it seemed she might be able to get some useful information out of him, so she decided to ask more specific questions.

Having dinner with a classmate could naturally help build a friendship, but learning more information for the sake of the class was important, too. She trusted that her classmates would understand.

After all, they were all supportive and cooperative classmates, just like her.

A Little Teasing, An Unusual Kind of Pleasure

Ichinose left and came back quickly. She set down her meal and sat across from Hoya.

Seeing how completely unguarded she was, Hoya was taken aback. "You trust me that much? You just sat right down here? Isn't it a little inappropriate to sit this close to a guy you don't know?"

Hoya had chosen a table for four, so to other people, the two of them looked like a couple on a date.

Couples weren't always kissing and being affectionate. Sometimes, just having dinner together could make people misunderstand, even if they weren't doing anything particularly intimate.

"I already told my classmates. Besides, I don't think you're the kind of student who'd do anything bad."

Ah... That was true.

Hoya didn't consider himself a good student, but he wasn't a bad one, either. He was somewhere in between.

He understood respecting his teachers, and he tried to pay attention in class. He didn't cause trouble, and in most ways he was no different from an ordinary student. So in Ichinose's eyes, he really was quite ordinary.

What kind of bad intentions could an ordinary classmate have?

"You don't think I'm bad, huh... I think I'm pretty bad. Pretty lady, what should I call you?"

But sometimes Hoya didn't like simply going along with what the other person wanted. He smiled, turned his chopsticks around, and lifted Ichinose's chin with them. "Well, what do you think now? Am I still a good boy?"

"Classmate, please don't be so frivolous."

Ichinose gently moved the chopsticks away from her chin. "My name is Ichinose Honami. And you're not very convincing, so you can stop pretending."

"Tch. How did you figure it out?"

Although the name surprised him, Hoya kept up a calm expression. Ichinose mistook that look for surprise that she'd seen through his act. "Your eyes, classmate. You look a little lecherous, but you don't seem to mean any harm."

Having dealt with students from all sorts of classes since childhood, how could she not know what Hoya was thinking? He was just an ordinary boy who wanted to but didn't dare. That was perfectly normal. Who didn't have thoughts like that? But having a thought and acting on it were two different things.

Hoya had seemed frivolous just now, but his arm had been stiff the whole time. He clearly wasn't experienced; he was just trying to save face.

It was like being called a "nice guy" by someone you'd just met. To a person who overthought things, it was practically a provocation, and it was only natural to hit back.

"All right, all right. You win. Tell me, what do you want to know?"

Admitting defeat, Hoya picked up his chopsticks and put some vegetables in his mouth. He seemed to have already forgotten how he'd lured Feibo over here in the first place.

"Points, classmate. You just said my understanding was wrong. Don't you think you should explain why?"

"Ah, no. You're not wrong, but you're not right, either."

Hoya suddenly started speaking in riddles. He picked up his chopsticks and put another piece of food into his mouth. The way he ate and talked at the same time made it seem like he thought table manners were a joke.

"Hey, can you just explain it clearly?"

Watching Hoya act like that, Feibo puffed up her cheeks in irritation. She looked adorable, but Hoya had apparently turned over a new leaf and stopped looking at her.

"Fei... I mean, Honami, do you think this kind of information is free?"

"Huh?"

"Come on, classmate. It's the first day of school. Do you think I'd tell you something like this for free? The only thing I can give you for free is a hint."

"A hint is fine, too."

"I already gave you one. You were right, but you were also wrong."

"That counts as a hint?"

"Fine. Looks like you've probably given up thinking."

Seeing Ichinose Honami's reaction, Hoya finally felt that things were normal. Hardly any students these days could spot the problem. They'd just graduated from middle school; they were a bunch of brats. They should be out having fun. Who had the time to think about things like this?

"How about this? That piece of meat looks good. Give it to me, and I'll tell you a little more."

"Sure. Here."

Ichinose put the piece of meat right into Hoya's bowl.

But Hoya shook his head. "No, no. Feed it to me."

"You..."

At Hoya's words, Ichinose's face immediately turned red.

He was being flirtatious, wasn't he? He definitely was, right?

"I'm not a good boy. I've been saying that from the start. Feed me."

Hoya shamelessly repeated himself. He seemed to have forgotten that before eating, he'd said he shouldn't bully honest people. Right now, he just wanted Ichinose to feed him.

What could be more enjoyable than being fed by a beautiful girl? At that moment, he was starting to act like a lecher.

To most girls, what he'd asked for would count as flirting, if not an insult. But Ichinose probably thought he was still hung up on what had happened earlier and was determined to prove he was a bad student.

She puffed out her cheeks as she picked up the meat with her chopsticks. Her hand trembled as she brought it to Hoya's lips and pushed it partway in. Then she pulled the chopsticks back and gave the meat another little push, finally getting it into his mouth.

Not only had she given him the meat, but the chopsticks hadn't touched his lips, either. That made Feibo feel a little better.

"Mm, you did a good job. I'll tell you a little more."

No matter how many little tricks Feibo tried, she'd still done it, and Hoya was feeling pretty pleased with himself.

He still hadn't outgrown his childish, virginal thoughts. For a shut-in otaku like him, being treated this way by a beautiful girl was enough to make him happy.

"Ahem. First, let me ask you: how many points did everyone in your class get this month?"

"One hundred thousand."

Ichinose Feibo answered honestly.

"One hundred thousand. Looks like it's the same for everyone. Haven't you noticed anything strange about that amount? Isn't it... a little too much?"

Some things seemed perfectly normal at first glance, but a little nudge could change that.

After hearing Hoya's hint, Ichinose's eyes widened slightly. She seemed to have figured something out, but not quite.

It was normal for an ordinary student to notice something was off. How deeply they could think it through was another matter.

At least, Hoya himself figured that without knowing what was going to happen, he probably wouldn't have thought very far ahead.

"One hundred thousand points per student, four million for one class, and sixteen million for an entire grade each month. Isn't that too much money? Do you think... the school gives every student a hundred thousand points every month? Think back to the class meeting today. The teacher didn't say that, did they?"

Hold on, why are you here?!

Hoya knew exactly what was going on in each class. In particular, Hoshinomiya-sensei of Class B was a good teacher whenever the matter had nothing to do with Chabashira-sensei of Class D.

At the very least, she was good at pretending to be one. So in this regard, she'd only conceal information, not mislead them.

"So you mean..."

"I've already confirmed it with my own homeroom teacher. The number of points we get each month isn't necessarily always a hundred thousand. All right, that's all I have to say. You can figure out the rest yourself. Of course, if you want to know more..."

Hoya smiled, but the expression made Ichinose shiver. "You're not going to ask me to feed you again, are you?"

"Of course not. From here on, I'll be charging points. That little tidbit just now was worth five thousand points. Getting me to tell you that much in exchange for one bite was a great deal for you."

End of Chapter
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