My Chat Group Is Just Too Strange

The Garbage King of a Certain Train: Yeah, it's better than someone like me, who started out at a space station, ran into the Antimatter Legion, nearly failed despite giving it everything I had, and then still had to fight a dragon, right?

The Video Store Owner: Hearing how hard things have been for everyone, I suddenly feel a lot more balanced. Though after finishing the main story, the electricity bill really was unbearable.

The Savior of Rationality: Must be nice. Everyone has already started their main storylines, while I'm still here attending class.

The Blonde from Teyvat: What's up? Your main story hasn't started yet?

The Savior of Rationality: Yeah. But even though it hasn't started, I've noticed Professor Rafe acting increasingly strange lately. Sometimes I can even see him sneaking around and muttering to himself.

The Garbage King of a Certain Train: Oh, looks like Chaldea is about to blow up. How about you go kill Lev right now? Strike first and get him before he gets you!

The Savior of Rationality: Huh? Me, fight an Archon? Seriously? Can I win?

The Slacker King of Hyperion: You'll win. Mo Wang, I order you to kill Lev immediately. Use the Personality Correction Fist on him.

The Blonde from Teyvat: Stop messing around. Even before Lev became an Archon, he was still a prodigy who reached the fourth rank of magecraft at twenty. With our current strength, unless we detonate a Stellaron with him, we're guaranteed to lose.

The Savior of Rationality: In the end, we're just too weak. When will a badass version of me show up? Someone from Devil May Cry or God of War would be best. If not, someone from Asura's Wrath would work too!

The Video Store Owner: I think you're dreaming. This group has existed for so long, and there are only five of us. Who knows when a newcomer will even arrive, yet you're already hoping for some top-tier big shot? Unless some washed-up author loses his mind, how could he possibly give you a max-level account to enjoy?

The Blonde from Teyvat: Forget it, we'll talk about it when the time comes. But speaking of which, Slacker, after showing off your strength like that, are you sure things are fine on your end?

The Garbage King of a Certain Train: Yeah, yeah. Otto won't come over tomorrow and drag you off to be a lab rat, will he?

The Slacker King of Hyperion: Don't make it sound so terrifying. Besides, with the Principal around, she'll protect me even if the sky falls, right? And if that doesn't work, I'll just run away and join World Serpent! I refuse to believe a living person can be pissed to death.

Knock, knock, knock!

Just as Mo Wang was happily chatting with his other selves in his dorm room, someone suddenly knocked on his door.

"Who could it be at this hour?"

Mo Wang glanced at the time in confusion, then opened the door. Theresa was standing outside, her expression complicated.

"Well, if it isn't our dear Principal. What brings you to visit a slacker like me? Let me make this clear first: if you're here about the comics, go ask Kiana. I didn't steal them," Mo Wang said with a surprised look.

"Huh? Kiana took my comics again? No, no, no! That's not why I came to see you!"

Theresa sighed heavily. Mo Wang had nearly led her off into some completely unrelated topic again.

"Then why? Don't tell me the Principal wants to go on a date with me? Let me make this clear first: although you're an adult and really are my type, our age gap is pretty big. You're even older than my mom."

"Idiot!" Theresa's face reddened as she smacked Mo Wang on the head.

"Stop spouting nonsense. My grandfather is here. He says he wants to see you. Figure it out yourself," Theresa said, turning her head away.

"Huh?"

Mo Wang stared blankly at Theresa.

Wait, it hadn't even been a day. The Bishop had already come straight for him?

He wasn't really here to capture him as a lab rat, was he?

If the Bishop Saw This, His Life Would Be Over

"Huh? The Bishop came to St. Freya?"

The moment Mo Wang heard that, he immediately felt that things had gone wrong.

Honestly, he had expected Otto to wait a few days, find an excuse, and only then come over.

He had never expected him to sneak into St. Freya that very same day.

What was this? Had he discovered some bastard was making moves on his granddaughter and come over with a knife to chop him up?

"Could it be that he found out about the NTR novel I wrote about him?"

Mo Wang had his suspicions. If Otto had really seen the things he wrote...

He suddenly felt that the possibility was pretty high.

It was like how scholars in feudal times especially loved reading all kinds of unofficial histories about emperors. Articles about one's own leader were simply absurdly popular.

Especially since Mo Wang had added some unspeakable little stories between the Schicksal Bishop, Saint Kallen, and a mysterious fox shrine maiden. For those Schicksal girls who had so much free time their chests hurt, it was something they simply had to read.

And because Mo Wang had secretly written it and gotten banned several times along the way, it became even more outrageous once some Valkyries began passing handwritten copies around in private.

Even Mo Wang himself knew that Himeko had confiscated several copies of his books during class.

The handwritten kind, too...

If that old bastard saw the books he wrote, his life would probably really be over.

"Ahem. So, my dear Miss Theresa, what exactly did your grandfather come here to see me about?" Mo Wang still intended to pry some information out of Theresa.

He couldn't help it. He simply had no idea what that blond old bastard was thinking.

After all, someone who lived for entertainment couldn't understand what a madman was thinking—unless that entertainment-seeker was The Clown.

"You're still asking?!" Theresa looked at Mo Wang as if she were looking at a scumbag.

"W-What did I do? Principal, I really didn't do anything! Heaven and earth can bear witness—the child definitely isn't mine."

"Pah! You bastard! Who has a child?!" Theresa's little face went red as she hit him again.

"Tell me first. What's with the Judah in your hand?"

"Oh, so it's about Judah. Here's the thing, actually every Divine Key comes in pairs, one male and one female—"

"If you start talking about male and female versions, I'll punch you," Theresa warned, waving her cute little fists before Mo Wang.

They were cute, but remembering that those fists could tear tanks apart made them a lot less cute.

"Haha." Mo Wang gave an awkward laugh. "Fine, Principal, I'll tell you. But you absolutely can't tell anyone else, or I'll be finished."

"Oh? What is it?" Theresa looked at Mo Wang curiously.

"Actually, it's magic. As long as I understand the essence of a weapon, I can copy it at will. But you absolutely mustn't tell anyone else, okay?"

Mo Wang whispered into Theresa's ear.

"Here we go again. This time it's magic?" Theresa didn't believe a word he said.

Before, it had been one thing. Now he was even bringing magic into it.

"Hey, you don't believe me when I tell the truth. What am I supposed to do?" Mo Wang spread his hands, indicating that there was nothing he could do.

"Alright, alright, dear Principal. Since your grandfather is here, let's not keep the Bishop waiting too long. We should hurry over."

Seeing that Theresa still wanted to keep asking, Mo Wang hurriedly pulled her away.

Since she could never tell what was real and what was fake whenever Mo Wang opened his mouth, Theresa simply gave up.

As soon as Mo Wang stepped out of the dormitory, he saw that all the Valkyries in the school had already assembled.

"Wow, what a huge show. As expected of the Bishop coming in person."

Mo Wang could not help but sigh as he looked at the formation by the field.

There hadn't been nearly this many people when they went on missions before.

Mo Wang looked to the side and spotted Kiana among the front row of the formation.

But Mei and Bronya were absent. Clearly, those two were still lying in hospital beds.

Kiana, who had been talking to a Valkyrie beside her, glared at Mo Wang when she saw him approach.

It left Mo Wang completely baffled.

How had he offended that girl again?

But Mo Wang soon stopped paying attention, because the girl in front of him immediately drew his gaze.

Up ahead, Himeko and Fu Hua were chatting cheerfully with a girl dressed in a Maid Outfit, her entire body exuding a seductive aura.

When she saw Mo Wang arrive, she revealed a smile as beautiful as a blooming flower.

"Well, look who's here. Isn't this Miss Rita, vice-captain of Immortal Blades, the strongest Valkyrie squad? It hasn't even been that long since we last met, yet you've become even prettier."

The seductive girl who had appeared was naturally Honkai Impact 3rd's number one maid, the First Hokage of bad women, Miss Rita.

"Hehehe~ Mr. Mo Wang, your tongue is as sweet as ever. Oh, no, I should call you Captain now. I never expected that after we last met, you really did become one of Schicksal's 'higher-ups,'" Rita said with a smile.

"Miss Rita, you flatter me. How am I some kind of higher-up? I'm just here to take the blame. If we're talking about higher-ups, Valkyries of Immortal Blades like you are the true core, aren't you? I'm middle management at best. Small-time middle management."

Mo Wang smiled just as brightly at Rita.

The sight made Himeko and Fu Hua, standing nearby, wear very strange expressions. It made it seem as though the two had an exceptionally good relationship.

"Hey, who's that woman standing in front of Mo Wang? Why do those two look so familiar with each other?"

Kiana, standing at the front of the group, frowned as she watched Rita laughing and talking with Mo Wang. She sensed that something was not simple here.

"I don't know. I heard she might be some higher-up from headquarters?" The Valkyrie beside her looked equally confused by Kiana's question.

"A higher-up from headquarters? How does that slacker know her? Haven't you heard anything?" Kiana asked the nearby Valkyries again.

Huh? You're asking us?

The Valkyries beside her looked blankly at Kiana. Usually, wasn't she the one closest to Mo Wang?

Even she didn't know, so where were they supposed to get any information?

"Something's off. Ninety percent out of ten, something's definitely off."

Kiana narrowed her eyes at Mo Wang and Rita, as though a whole little drama had already begun playing out in her head.

After exchanging a few pleasantries with Mo Wang, Rita smiled and said, "By the way, Captain, the Bishop has been waiting inside for quite some time. Please don't keep him waiting too long~"

"Oh my, look at me. I saw a beautiful woman and couldn't move my feet. Let's hurry over."

Mo Wang smiled cheerfully at Rita as though nothing had happened.

When Mo Wang led the Valkyries into the principal's office, they saw a blond young man sitting there calmly.

But the instant he pushed open the door, Mo Wang's hand twitched, and cold sweat began streaming down his face.

The blond young man was holding a book titled The Unspeakable Secrets Between the Schicksal Saint, an Island Shrine Maiden, and the Schicksal Bishop.

The Slacker King of Schicksal: Looks like my life really is about to reach its end.

The Bishop's Tastes Were Seriously Twisted

The blond young man sat quietly in a chair in the principal's office.

Golden afterglow spilled through the office, and paired with the young man's handsome face and saintlike temperament, it was enough to make one feel as though they were looking upon a god.

If some master painter had been present for such a sacred scene, they would surely have painted an immortal masterpiece titled The Schicksal Bishop at St. Freya.

Of course, the scene would have been even more sacred if one could ignore the book in his hands.

Mo Wang stared blankly at Otto inside, unable to think of anything to say for a moment.

Should he greet him?

Something about the atmosphere felt wrong.

"Ahem, Bishop, we're here."

Seeing Mo Wang and the Bishop both standing perfectly still, as though Medusa had cast a petrification spell on them, Rita finally reminded the Bishop, who was engrossed in his book.

"Oh! My apologies, my apologies. On the way here, I happened to come across a very interesting novel and became absorbed in it for a while." Upon hearing Rita's voice, Otto acted as though he had only just noticed Mo Wang and the others, placing the book in his hands on the table.

The Valkyries from St. Freya all wore rather strange expressions as they watched Otto's actions.

Mo Wang, meanwhile, could no longer hold it together at all.

He could read his own NTR story with such relish. As expected of Otto—he had evolved to the point where, as long as he could read stories about his goddess, he was completely fine even with being cuckolded himself.

A pervert's way of thinking truly could not be understood by normal people.

"So, Bishop, do you like this book very much?"

Possessed by some strange impulse, Mo Wang actually asked Otto that question.

"Yes, I do. It's quite a good book. Though the author's writing is still somewhat immature, what they wrote cannot help but remind me of what happened back then. Kallen was still very young at the time..." As he spoke, Otto even revealed a blissful smile.

This made Mo Wang even less able to hold it together.

No, he had written it from the Bishop's perspective, with the heroine running off with the shrine maiden. It was full of every possible landmine, yet Otto could still enjoy it so much? Were his tastes really that heavy?

"Ahem, ahem, ahem! Bishop, I don't think now is the time to discuss novels, is it? After all, Miss Theresa and the others are still waiting here."

Rita spoke to Otto with an unchanged expression, though Theresa and the others behind her were already struggling not to burst out laughing.

"My apologies, my apologies. When one gets older, one enjoys reminiscing about the past. Speaking of which, this book is quite good, but the updates are truly far too slow. If only I could meet this author. Sigh, young people these days simply aren't willing to learn about the history of the past." As he spoke, Otto cast a subtle glance at Mo Wang.