My Chat Group Is Too Strange

"Then let's save this suicidal idiot first, and show them some goodwill."

Cú Chulainn, who planned to use this opportunity to join Chaldea's group, saw Cursed Arm Hassan plant his toes against the ground and shoot straight at Mo Wang like an arrow loosed from a bow.

The corners of his lips curled up. He slowly emerged from spirit form and revealed himself. Just as Cú Chulainn imagined what would happen next—how he would effortlessly save the other man with his staff and earn their gratitude—

The next sight left him completely dumbfounded.

Mo Wang was even faster than Cursed Arm Hassan. He reached him in an instant and, with a standard Lightning Plowshare Saber, twisted Cursed Arm Hassan's head right off.

"That's it? What a letdown."

Mo Wang looked dejectedly at Cursed Arm Hassan's head in his hand, his face full of disdain.

"What the hell?"

Cú Chulainn rubbed his eyes, thinking he might not have fully woken up yet.

No, what the hell was that?

He had torn a Servant's head off with his bare hands?

Were you Berserker or something?

"Th-this... he... what?!"

"Director, I told you there was no need to worry about Senpai," Mashu said calmly as she looked at Olga Marie.

As though none of this had been remotely surprising.

"Huh?"

Olga Marie looked at Mashu in confusion. Why was she so calm?

"Director, how do you think Senpai rode a motorcycle all the way here with me?"

Mashu looked at Olga Marie with the dead eyes of someone who had lost all hope.

Everything was left unsaid.

(＃°Д°)

Mashu, what exactly had you been through? What had Mo Wang done to you?

"What a bore. Shadow Servants really are just high-class fodder, huh? Hey! Blue-haired Doggy over there, get over here already!"

Mo Wang casually tossed away the head in his hand and shouted toward where Cú Chulainn was hiding.

"That guy noticed me?" Cú Chulainn hesitated.

He had been full of confidence about stepping in to save the day.

But it turned out that guy was no mage at all. He was clearly a Berserker wearing a mage's skin.

It was not that he had anything against Berserkers. He simply felt that he and Berserkers were fundamentally incompatible, and he had a bit of psychological trauma about them.

Still, the other side had already called him out. Standing here and hesitating did not seem like his style.

After thinking for a moment, Cú Chulainn stepped out from the shadows.

"Caster?"

Seeing Cú Chulainn approach with a staff in hand, Olga Marie recognized his identity at a glance.

The roadside flames fluttered in the breeze, making the surroundings slightly hot.

Yet Cú Chulainn felt a chill run down his spine.

He stared warily at Mo Wang before him.

After all, this was the guy who had just torn a Servant apart with his bare hands—a danger on par with a giant dragon.

"Who exactly are you?" Cú Chulainn asked cautiously, gripping his staff.

"Huh? Me? I'm just an ordinary novice mage." Mo Wang spread his hands.

"What kind of novice mage can tear a Servant apart with his bare hands?!" Cú Chulainn finally could not hold it in and exploded.

At the same time, he was stunned by this guy's ability to lie through his teeth.

If he had not been there himself, he might have actually believed him!

You could already rip Servants apart with your hands, yet you were saying you did not know martial arts?

"Come on, it's perfectly normal for a novice mage to tear Servants apart." Mo Wang felt that, as the protagonist of a Fate series, let alone tearing apart Servants, dueling top-tier Servants was just standard practice.

Hakuno Kishinami, Shirou Emiya, Sieg... every one of them was fiercer than the last in a fight.

He had only torn apart a Shadow Servant. That was nothing.

He could start showing off once he had taken Goetia's head.

"Besides, why am I not a novice mage? Ask our Director and junior if you don't believe me! I only know two spells in total!"

After Mo Wang called her out, Olga Marie replied with a stiff expression, "That's... not really wrong. After all, this guy has only studied magecraft for less than two months in total..."

But precisely because that was true, Olga Marie felt it was outrageous.

A newcomer who had studied magecraft for two months could already tear a Servant apart with his bare hands!

Did that not make her look utterly useless?

She thought of how she had been chased around by a group of Dragon Tooth Soldiers while Mo Wang could fight an entire group by himself.

Had all those years of magecraft study gone to the dogs?

(A certain blue-haired big dog: Don't drag me into this. My magecraft is pretty good.)

"I also think Mo Wang, this novice mage, is completely abnormal. What kind of mage has a body capable of tearing Servants apart?"

Dr. Roman, who had appeared from who knew where, also began to complain.

"So you guys only just found out this guy was that strong? And you call yourselves companions?"

Cu Chulainn had truly broadened his horizons.

He had thought it was one thing if he alone was shocked, but why did the people over there look even more bewildered than he was?

"Forget it. Let me introduce myself first. My name is Cú Chulainn. I assume you've heard of me." Cú Chulainn sighed. There were no other options now. If he had to board a pirate ship, then so be it.

It was still better than staying in this place.

"Cú Chulainn? The legendary Child of Light from Northern Ireland?" The moment Cú Chulainn gave his name, Dr. Roman cried out in surprise.

But the next moment, Dr. Roman frowned. "But why are you a mage?"

Cú Chulainn: Damn it, I want to know too, okay?!

PS: I thought about it for ages and still didn't know what to say, so I'll just perform a sliding kneel for you esteemed readers. orz.jpg1

Fortunately, He Isn't a Lancer, or We'd Be Screwed

"Normally, when people mention Cú Chulainn, shouldn't they think of a Lancer first? Why is he a mage?" Dr. Roman was deeply puzzled by Cú Chulainn's class.

Hearing himself called a mage, Cú Chulainn also wanted to curse.

"How would I know? It was supposed to be a perfectly normal summoning. I should've been a Lancer. But somehow, the moment I appeared, I became a Caster!"

If he could, Cu Chulainn sincerely wanted to beat the person who had turned him into a Caster senseless.

It was not that his magecraft was weak. At the very least, Cú Chulainn was absolutely qualified as a Caster.

But compared to magecraft, he was better at using a spear.

Besides, going from a four-star Lancer to a three-star Caster had indeed caused his basic stats to drop by a huge amount. No wonder Cu Chulainn disliked it.

"A mage is great! Who says being a mage is bad? Being a mage is wonderful!"

Mo Wang, however, did not dislike it in the slightest. No, rather, being a mage was simply too perfect.

If Cú Chulainn had been a Lancer, Mo Wang would have kicked him away already.

He could not let this guy drag down the team's luck.

After all, Lancer Luck E was no joke.

In Fate, was Luck E even a stat? It was practically a causality weapon! Lancers should buy insurance before leaving home, because even a pebble by the roadside could trigger a Final Destination plot. They should change their class icon to a jinx, so the Throne of Heroes would not have to hold memorial services every day. Dead today or dead tomorrow—if they held a carnival, one Doggy's corpses could circle Fuyuki once.

And the cruelest truth of the Holy Grail War was this: Lancers were the officially designated scapegoats.

Other people's Noble Phantasms destroyed the heavens and earth; a Lancer's destiny was to become an experience pack for the protagonist. Their Noble Phantasms killed no one but themselves, always stabbing straight into their own hearts.

Next time, they should rename themselves "Backstab Specialists." After all, whoever they stabbed, they were really stabbing themselves in the back.

How mystical was Luck E? Even when rolling gacha, they were guaranteed to miss the rate-up! Drinking water on the battlefield could make them choke up Command Spells, and cleaning their weapons could cause a misfire that hit their Master.

All Lancers should probably change careers and consecrate temples. Their bad luck was so concentrated that it could consecrate the Holy Grail and ward off evil.

Just look at the Luck A guys next door: Golden Gilgamesh used Gate of Babylon like fireworks, while Arthur Pendragon saved the world while dating. And the Lancers? Diarmuid got critically hit by a love debuff, while Cu Chulainn was killed by his own Noble Phantasm.

Lancers should make "How to Gracefully Receive Your Death Flag" a mandatory course.

And this curse had even broken through the dimensional barrier! Zhao Yun lost A-Dou at Changban Slope, and the 300 Spartans were all basically registered as Lancers. Was that not enough to prove how terrifying Lancer Luck E was?

If Cú Chulainn had been a Lancer, Mo Wang would have been worried that his team was about to experience Final Destination firsthand.

"Huh?" Cú Chulainn did not quite understand why the other man wanted him to be a mage rather than a Lancer, but he seemed quite satisfied.

"Come on, Doggy. Let's sign the contract already." Mo Wang urged Cú Chulainn.

"D-Doggy?" As Cú Chulainn established a connection with Mo Wang, he looked at him strangely.

What kind of weird nickname was that?!

"Aren't you the Hound of Culann? Calling you Doggy is fine, right?"

"There's a huge problem with that! What am I, your pet husky?" Cú Chulainn complained.

"First, I don't have a husky. Strictly speaking, I'm a cat person. Second, I don't think your personality is any different from a husky's."

"Huh?" The moment Cú Chulainn heard that, he was ready to start fighting.

But when he considered his own small frame, if he really fought Mo Wang, he would probably end up performing a Spiral Piercing Lancer—no, he was a Caster now, so it would have to be a Spiral Piercing Caster.

And during that brief time, Mo Wang and Cú Chulainn's relationship had already been established.

Cú Chulainn was now, in name, Mo Wang's Servant.

"Doggy, just obediently come fight bosses with me. I'll make very good use of you. Hehehe."

Seeing Mo Wang's wicked grin, Cú Chulainn's heart skipped a beat.

"By the way, Doggy, since you've been here for several days already, tell us what exactly is going on."

Mo Wang found a place to sit down, then had Mashu and the Director sit beside him as well.

They looked like they had lined up to listen to a story.

Although he knew how the script went, he could not reveal it right now.

So Doggy would have to tell the story instead.

"It's all because of that Saber."

Cú Chulainn began recounting what had happened after he arrived here.

Everything had originally gone according to the script. Everyone was supposed to happily fight a Holy Grail War, then go home and find their moms.

Then black mud had appeared from nowhere and turned Saber dark.

Along with her, a group of Servants had started acting abnormally as well.

Servants killed by Dark Saber would eventually be devoured by the black mud and stained into Shadow Servants.

By now, there were basically no living people left in all of Fuyuki City.

"Oh, I get it. So anyone killed by Saber turns into Avenger, right? Tsk, tsk, that's awful."

After hearing the story, Mo Wang expressed his sympathy for Cú Chulainn.

A perfectly good Holy Grail War had suddenly turned into a chaotic dance of demons, and the entire script had changed beyond recognition.

It was only because Cú Chulainn was not a Lancer this time that he had not become Avenger like those guys right from the start.

"So the Holy Grail should be in that Saber's hands now, right? As long as we deal with her, we can return this place to normal?" Mashu raised her hand and asked after listening.

"Correct, little girl. But let me warn you first: that Saber is a genuine monster now. Dealing with her with our current strength will be rather difficult."

"Is it really only rather difficult?"