My Chat Group Is Too Strange

The Strongest Demon King: Even I get hard at the sight of a beautiful girl like this!

The Strongest Fighter Genius in Human History: Something's not right. As Mo Wang, how could you pull a five-star character? This isn't Mo Wang! Who the hell are you, you bastard?

The Video Store Owner: Some European must have secretly possessed Mo Wang and logged into his account!

The Savior of Rationality: Bullshit! You're just jealous that I smuggled myself into Europe! Nothing but envy, jealousy, and hate!

The Slacker King of Hyperion: Die, you European seal!

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists has joined the Chat Group.

A certain Little Red Riding Hood destined to become the King of Picking Up Girls has joined the Chat Group.

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: Weird. Why did a strange app suddenly appear on my phone? Does anyone know what this is?

A certain Little Red Riding Hood destined to become the King of Picking Up Girls: Same here, but why does everyone in the group look so familiar?

The Slacker King of Hyperion: Welcome to the group, newcomers! Remember to claim your newbie gift pack from the files. There's a full explanation of this group and what's going on in there.

The Blonde from Teyvat: Newcomers need to pay the membership fee. Send a lewd pic.

The Video Store Owner: Newcomers, send a lewd pic!

The Savior of Rationality: Newcomers, send a lewd pic! +1

The King of the Chicken Coop: Newcomers, send a lewd pic! +2

The Strongest Demon King: Newcomers, send a lewd pic! +10010

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: So our souls were blown into fragments, and then we started making a group chat? Why does this feel like some kind of tomato déjà vu? Like Zarc got blown up and turned into vegetables cut into four portions.

A certain Little Red Riding Hood destined to become the King of Picking Up Girls: Nani? The tomato was me all along? Am I already progressing into a new storyline this quickly? No, wait, where do I claim my starter girlfriend?

The Strongest Fighter Genius in Human History: Where are the new group members from? Why are they all talking about tomatoes and stuff?

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: Just look at my title and you'll know. It's definitely Yu-Gi-Oh!

The Slacker King of Hyperion: Duel Links? Didn't we quit that game pretty early? Because of those weird fields and rules.

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: The answer is MD.

The Savior of Rationality: What the hell? Master Duel has a story mode?

The Strongest Demon King: I thought Master Duel was just a pure card game simulator. Don't tell me you can actually enter the card stories?

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: The answer is a combined version of Duel Links and Master Duel. The card pool is from Master Duel.

The Video Store Owner: If you're not building a full-power Tearlaments deck to stomp noobs, I don't approve.

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: Bastard! Don't you dare insult my soul with those bad women! I'm a soul player! A steadfast anti-Tearlaments warrior!

The Blonde from Teyvat: So what deck do you play? A fifty-dollar Tamashii deck?

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: The answer is the Utopia Deck...

The Slacker King of Hyperion: Nani? A Utopia player joined the group?

The Ark Succubus: Where's the meteor? Where's the meteor we use to welcome him?!

The Slacker King of Hyperion: Don't rush me, I'll go find one in space right away!

The Strongest Demon King: If it's not a Mo Wang deck, I don't approve.

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: Besides, even if I wanted to play Tearlaments, I can't right now. In this version, the only good decks in the card pool are Drytron and Eldlich, or else Sky Striker and Dragonmaid...

The King of the Chicken Coop: I'm dying. So you just can't play Tearlaments.

The Video Store Owner: What happened to being an anti-Tearlaments warrior? Is this all you've got? Still, Eldlich should be able to absolutely crush the Duel Links natives, right?

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: Really? You like little girls opening with all five pieces of Exodia?

The Blonde from Teyvat: That's an extreme situation. It's not like every random Duel Links passerby can play all five pieces of Exodia, right?

The Ark Succubus: Besides, since you're in Duel Links, there should definitely be all kinds of skills, right? Isn't that enough for you to have fun with?

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: I already said the system and card pool are from Master Duel. Where would character skills come from?

The Slacker King of Hyperion: Then isn't that completely useless?! Trash!

The Strongest Fighter Genius in Human History: Even though we got newcomers, they don't seem all that useful.

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: Who said that? I have something that'll definitely make you guys call me Daddy!

The Strongest Demon King: Leaving aside the fact that we're all the same person, isn't calling you Daddy a bit ridiculous? Still, I'd like to see what makes you so confident.

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists has uploaded The Arrival Cybernetic Zeus.

The King of the Chicken Coop: ?

The Strongest Demon King: ?

The Video Store Owner: ?

The Blonde from Teyvat: Holy shit, a Gundam!

The Strongest Fighter Genius in Human History: Holy shit, Dad!

The Ark Succubus: Nice, nice, nice. Now the Mo Wang versions can pilot giant robots too.

The Video Store Owner: I just wonder if this thing uses a lot of electricity. My electricity bill can barely take it anymore.

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: Come to think of it, where's the other new group member? I remember he came in together with me.

A certain Little Red Riding Hood destined to become the King of Picking Up Girls: Huh? Me?

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: Yeah, bro, where did you go?

A certain Little Red Riding Hood destined to become the King of Picking Up Girls: I'm Yu-Gi-Oh too.

The Strongest Demon King: No way? Duel Links and Master Duel are already taken. Where in Yu-Gi-Oh could you possibly be? Don't tell me it's one of the original TV series?

A certain Little Red Riding Hood destined to become the King of Picking Up Girls: It's Card Chronicle.

The Slacker King of Hyperion: Fuck! That Card Chronicle where you can raise affection just by dueling, then endlessly hook up with anime girl counterparts?!

The Video Store Owner: The legendary Little Red Riding Hood who traveled through all five Yu-Gi-Oh series and only appeared in rumors?

The Ark Succubus: Nani? The King of Picking Up Girls was me all along?

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: Damn it! I refuse to accept this! We're both Yu-Gi-Oh, we're both Little Red Riding Hood! Why do you get to go to Card Chronicle?! Why do you get to pick up girls?! Hey! (angrily slams table.jpg)

A certain Little Red Riding Hood destined to become the King of Picking Up Girls: It's... it's okay, I guess. I just like playing cards, really. And my card pool isn't as extensive as the Master Duel big shots' either.

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: So what abilities do you have? If they're not useful, then you're the useless piece of trash! (jealous.jpg)

A certain Little Red Riding Hood destined to become the King of Picking Up Girls: I... seem to only have some strange talents or something. They don't seem very useful to everyone.

The Blonde from Teyvat: Whether they're useful or not, upload them first. Let the group members have a taste before deciding whether they're trash!

A certain Little Red Riding Hood destined to become the King of Picking Up Girls: Oh.

A certain Little Red Riding Hood destined to become the King of Picking Up Girls has uploaded Talent: Destined Draw.

The Video Store Owner: ?

The Slacker King of Hyperion: ?

The King of the Chicken Coop: ?

The Ark Succubus: Holy shit, a European Mo Wang?! That thing actually exists?

The Garbage King of a Certain Train: Fun fact: Pharaohs are African.

The Savior of Rationality: So you're the real big boss! There's hope for us African Chieftains! You're my savior!

A certain soul player aspiring to become the King of Duelists: Perhaps this kid really can become Yugi. (smoking.jpg)

This Time, It's the Boss's Victory

Ark, Officer Academy.

At that moment, several enormous transport planes were parked before the students.

A stern instructor was giving the cadets below a pre-battle pep talk.

Every one of the rookie commanders before him wore an indescribable expression of panic and unease.

"Listen up, you little brats! I'm sure you already know what day it is today! That's right! Today is the graduation day for you useless little brats! And it's also the day you head to the front lines to fight!" The gorilla-like instructor roared at the cadets before him, who looked like they were seconds away from wetting themselves. "I know you bastards are scared pissless already, but it's fine! No matter how terrifying the Raptures are, they are absolutely no match for humanity and the NIKKE! You must believe in the Ark, believe in the military! We will definitely drive those damned Raptures off the land where we live! That is the only reason you spent three years studying here! Believe in yourselves! You will definitely come back alive!"

Although the instructor onstage spoke with passion and fervor.

Unfortunately, none of the students below were idiots blinded by hot-blooded enthusiasm.

Believe in the Ark? Believe in the military?

Anyone who believed in those people had probably long since been torn into pieces by some passing Rapture, their corpse nowhere to be found.

Anyone with even the slightest understanding of the messy business between the Ark and the Raptures could never spout nonsense like the Ark would win.

Besides, the place they were going was the front lines, a hellish meat grinder!

Commanders sent to that damned place usually didn't survive their first week.

And this asshole was actually saying they could come back alive?

"Did you hear? None of the seniors who went before us are still alive. Even last year's top student supposedly got half his body blown away after he went there."

"You mean that senior? He was full of confidence before he left, saying he wanted to save the Ark. Then, less than three days later, a Rapture that fell from the sky crippled him. I only attended his funeral a few days ago."

"Fuck! These people just want us to be cannon fodder! Not a single rich kid came! They only know how to send us to our deaths!"

"They demand ammunition resupply but provide nothing, demand performance KPIs but give no resources. Even junglers don't get treated this badly, do they?"

After listening to the instructor's load of bullshit, the commanders practically wanted to raise the banner of rebellion, chop off the bastard's head, and shout, "Long live freedom!"

But because the man was built like a gorilla and surrounded by NIKKE, the rookie commanders chose to swallow their anger.

"Hey, I'd keep it down. The instructor's already looking over here." At that moment, several students who had been furiously complaining heard someone whisper a warning beside them.

When they turned around, they found a pair of dead-fish eyes staring at them.

"Y-you're Mo Wang?!"

The rookie commanders froze the instant they saw Mo Wang. They had clearly never expected to encounter him here.

"Shh. Keep it down, the instructor's watching."

Mo Wang glanced at the instructor onstage, who was currently glaring at them as though he wanted to eat them alive, and reminded the group.

The moment they saw the gorilla, the students immediately shut their mouths, even putting on obedient expressions.

Who said the front lines were dangerous? They loved going to the front lines! They could shine and contribute, all while working hard to make life more comfortable for the higher-ups.

Seeing how cowardly they were, Mo Wang merely shrugged indifferently.

Honestly, Mo Wang completely agreed with what they had said.

After all, in the game's story, hardly any of the Ark's upper echelons were decent human beings.

Just how beastly could the people of the Ark be?

On one hand, they morally blackmailed the frontline NIKKE into serving as human batteries. On the other, they welded a sign reading "The Torchbearers of Human Civilization" onto their own foreheads. They hammered their keyboards louder than anyone in the command room, but when a crisis struck, they ran faster than the ammunition skimmed by the logistics department!

During the day, they shouted at meetings about the glory of the Ark. At night, they secretly recycled casualty lists as scrap paper. The NIKKE bled and cried while they produced PowerPoints. If the front line lost, it was called a "tactical adjustment." If it won, they immediately jumped out to steal the spotlight and shoot propaganda ads.

The most absurd part was that whenever battle damage reports came out, those suited-up bastards could always pass the buck in every direction: blame the manufacturing department for insufficient ammunition, curse the intelligence division for faulty information, and call NIKKE rampages "necessary sacrifices." In short, none of it was ever their fault.

Especially when Mo Wang swept his eyes over the rookie commanders here, he found that not a single one was the descendant of a high-ranking official.

Because those people had long used every possible method to get themselves assigned to logistics.

The front lines? That was where people without money or status went.

In the Ark's eyes, these people wasted the Ark's air while alive and its land when dead. They were perfect cannon fodder.

"Mo Wang, why are you here?" At that moment, after the instructor shifted his gaze away, a commander beside him quietly asked Mo Wang.

"I'm a commander too. Isn't it normal for me to be in a place like this?" Mo Wang calmly replied to the student before him.

"No, I mean... shouldn't someone like you already be in logistics?" The rookie commander looked at Mo Wang in confusion.

He had assumed that everyone here was an ordinary person like him, someone with no backing who could only go to the front lines.

"My apologies, but I truly want to do my part to save the Ark. Even though the front lines are indeed dangerous, that's also where I can do the most to save the Ark, isn't it?"

As Mo Wang spoke, a holy glow seemed to appear on his face.