Hogwarts: Becoming the White Devil King Through Breathing

[The Little-Known Diary of a Certain White Devil King]

"Year '91, I enrolled, along with the Savior Harry Potter. The magical world feels pretty good to me. Magic is truly wonderful.

"Year '92, I was a bit bored today, so I decided to go out and kill a few Death Eaters for fun."

"Year '93, Dumbledore is truly senile. How can one feel at ease if power isn't in their own hands? No wonder he's always disgusted by the Ministry."

"Year '94, why is Voldemort so timid? He resurrected ages ago, yet there's been no significant movement. Is this still the Dark Lord who looked down on all wizards?"

"Year '95, Grindelwald has also come out of seclusion? Two generations of Dark Lords joining forces? Have they no shame?"

"Year '96, finally stopped hiding? Good, I'll finish you all at once."

Hermione: Harry! You must tell Dumbledore about this-well, telling Damon is fine too.

Harry: Damon, thank you. Only you always believe in me-What? You want to take a photo of me in drag to give to Snape-But-Why?

Professor McGonagall: Your not participating in Quidditch is a loss for the entire British wizarding world!

Dumbledore: Damon, I think you are right. I made a mistake-forgetting the feelings of the young-but thankfully you are here. It seems I can peacefully remain a teacher. After all, this is what suits me best.

Death Eaters: Don't you guys think Damon White has become increasingly brutal lately? I truly regret getting the Dark Mark...

[Reading this book does not require prior knowledge of the original work]