The Fake Boyfriend

"Then that concludes our class meeting."

Chabashira-sensei finished speaking and left the classroom. I packed up and got ready to return to the dorm. As I walked down the hall—

"Hikigaya, could I have a moment?"

Ichinose called out to me, wearing an expression more serious than I'd ever seen. She was usually all smiles, but now she looked unusually solemn.

"What is it? You went out of your way to catch me at this hour. Is this about the violent incident?"

If so, I'd have to decline. It was true that Ichinose had helped me before, but I had no intention of helping Sudo.

But my guess was wrong.

"No. Actually... there's something I'd like to talk to you about. Do you have time?"

"I don't have any particular plans..."

"Then could you come with me?"

Ichinose started walking, so I had no choice but to follow. We ended up in a quiet spot behind the gym.

"So? What did you want to talk about, bringing me all the way here? You're not planning to rob me, are you?"

The area behind the gym was a classic spot for confessions and blackmail.

"N-no! Actually, I wanted to ask you something, Hikigaya... Um... would you pretend to be my boyfriend?"

"I refuse."

I answered at once, without hesitation. To be honest, her words had instantly dredged up some awful memories from middle school and left me feeling irritated. But Ichinose didn't know about my past, so I wouldn't take it out on her.

Ichinose was clearly taken aback by my response. Just as she started to explain, I cut in:

"Sorry, but I'm not interested in getting involved in other people's romantic entanglements. I've suffered for it before."

If I agreed to pretend to be Ichinose's boyfriend, it would definitely bring trouble far worse than a mere nuisance. I'd already had more than enough of that in middle school.

Judging from my attitude, Ichinose seemed to realize there was no room for negotiation. She lowered her head and apologized.

"I see... I'm sorry for making such an unreasonable request."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it."

She'd apologized, so I wasn't going to hold it against her.

"You're asking me because you got a love letter or someone confessed to you, right?"

There'd be no need for a fake boyfriend otherwise. Unless it was for some couples-only promotion, but then she wouldn't have needed to bring me all the way here.

"Yeah, I did get a love letter."

Ichinose took out a cute, decorated letter. I didn't peek inside out of respect, but the stationery didn't look like something a boy would use.

"I thought so. Wouldn't it make more sense to ask someone from Class B to be your fake boyfriend?"

"But the person who sent the letter... is in Class B."

I see. So that meant...

"You think that pretending to have a boyfriend would make them give up, rather than rejecting them outright and embarrassing them?"

"Yeah... I'm really bad at handling romantic issues. I don't know how to avoid hurting them while still staying friends..."

"Don't be naive!" I raised my voice without meaning to. Ichinose's eyes widened in surprise.

"When someone confesses to you and you say, 'I can't go out with you,' they're bound to get hurt. Even if I played your boyfriend, with your personality, you'd feel guilty afterward. Do you think you'd be able to act normally around each other?"

"Um..."

I understood how kind Ichinose was, but this would definitely lead to awkwardness. Worse, if they found out I was only pretending to be her boyfriend, her relationship with that person would surely fall apart. For someone like Ichinose, who wanted so badly to avoid hurting them, that had to be the last thing she wanted.

"Here's some advice: dragging a third party into a romantic problem only makes things more complicated."

It reminded me of what had happened on the school trip. Hayama and the Service Club shouldn't have gotten involved in the first place. If no one had interfered, Tobe would've been rejected, but that was how things were supposed to end.

That incident had caused me plenty of trouble. If I agreed to pretend to be Ichinose's boyfriend this time, it could put not only me but also Ichinose and the person who confessed to her in a difficult position. She should handle this herself.

"...You're right. I'm sorry. I was wrong to ask. You can head back, Hikigaya."

Ichinose bowed her head and apologized earnestly. It seemed she finally understood. I secretly breathed a sigh of relief. As a friend, I didn't want to see Ichinose worn out by romantic troubles.

"Good. I'll be going, then."

I turned and left the area behind the gym, heading toward the main school building. Just then, I saw a short-haired girl walking toward me with a tense expression. Could she be... the person who was going to confess to Ichinose?

As I wondered, the girl spotted me and immediately shot me a hostile glare. So I was right. She was the one who'd sent Ichinose the love letter. Ichinose had said she was a classmate, and most of the girls in Class B were hostile toward me, so there was a ninety-nine percent chance this was the one.

I hadn't actually lost anything, so I ignored her glare and walked right past. I really didn't feel like wandering around today. I'd just go straight back to the dorm.

I changed direction and headed for the student dorms instead of taking a detour to the shopping district.

When I got back to my room, it was empty. It was only four, but Hiyori wouldn't be back for another hour.

I'll take a nap.

I didn't blame Ichinose, but my worst middle-school memory had suddenly resurfaced, and it left me exhausted. Like Hiyori had said, there weren't any familiar faces from Sobu High at this school, so I might as well get some rest while I could.

The moment I lay down, sleepiness swept over me. I gave in and closed my eyes.

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"Mmm... Huh..."

"Oh, Hikigaya's awake. Can we turn on the stove?"

"Okay~ Then, Shiina, could you get the drinks ready?"

"Sure. Classmate Sakayanagi, please sit and rest."

"Thank you for your concern. Masumi, go help out."

"Got it."

The first thing I heard when I opened my eyes was a bunch of people talking. I looked around and saw Hashimoto and Sakanayanagi standing beside the table in the middle of the room, where a hot pot sat. Hiyori, Ichinose, and Kamuro were in the kitchen.

What was going on? What was all this?

While I was trying to make sense of it, Hiyori walked over with some drinks.

"Are you awake? It'll be ready soon, so please sit and wait."

"...Okay. But why are there so many people?"

It wasn't strange for Hiyori to be here, since we practically lived together. Sakanayanagi had a spare key, and Kamuro had probably been dragged along by her.

But Hashimoto and Ichinose being here was completely unexpected. They'd both been to my room before, but I hadn't expected all five of them to be gathered here.

Sakanayanagi answered my question.

"Masumi and I were shopping at the mall when we ran into Shiina, who was there to buy ingredients, so we joined her. Later, we ran into Hashimoto while picking up groceries, and everyone decided to come to your place. When we arrived, we found Ichinose waiting outside your door."

I see. A bunch of coincidences had piled up and led to this. What an incredible coincidence.

As I marveled at it, Ichinose and Kamuro came out of the kitchen. Ichinose raised a hand to greet me.

"Ah, Hikigaya. Sorry for barging in. And thanks for earlier."

"I didn't do anything. I just said what needed to be said."

"But those were exactly the words I needed to hear. She said she'd act like usual starting tomorrow."

"...That might be hard."

It was a lot to ask someone who'd just been rejected to act as though nothing had happened the very next day.

"Maybe. It's a bit selfish of me, but I want things to stay the way they were."

That was only natural. I couldn't say much about it. Besides, the decision was Ichinose's to make, and I had no intention of overstepping.

"What are you two talking about?"

Hashimoto asked with interest, and Sakanayanagi and the others turned their attention toward us.

"Ah, actually..."

Ichinose briefly introduced the topic, then told them what had happened that day. Of course, she left out the name of the person who'd confessed to her.

When she finished, Sakanayanagi nodded. "That was a wise choice. When a third party gets involved in a romantic matter, there's always some despicable person who stirs up trouble." She shot me a glance, clearly referring to Dokugami. When I'd seen the news about him being arrested by the police, I'd nearly burst out laughing.

"We can talk about the details while we eat," Hashimoto said. Right on cue, my stomach growled. Apparently, I'd been starving in my sleep.

"All right... Let's eat."

"Let's eat!"

Everyone said it together and started eating. People from all four classes, A, B, C, and D, were gathered here, but surely we could get through dinner peacefully.

At least, that was what I thought. But then...

"Hachiman, say ahh—"

"Ahh—thanks, Hiyori."

"Hikigaya, say ahh—"

"Ahh—this is delicious."

"Ha ha... You two are really close."

"Hikigaya, say ahh—"

"Hey, Hashimoto! Why are you joining in?!"

"Sorry, sorry. Kamuro, want to try?"

"No way!"

"Huh? Are these maid outfits? And there are three of them?"

"They're mine, Masumi's, and Shiina's. Hikigaya-kun loves maid outfits, so we wear them once in a while. Would you like to try one, Ichinose?"

"Don't drag Ichinose into this without asking, you idiot!"

"Calling me an idiot is rude. I'm sure Ichinose would look great in one."

"Exactly! Hey, Kamuro, why don't you cast a spell on the hot pot—" "Shut up!"

"Hashimoto... You're asking for it..."

"A spell? What does that mean?"

"You don't need to know."

We didn't end up having a clash between classes, but we squabbled over all sorts of trivial things and nearly fell out.

Seriously... I felt even more exhausted than before my nap.

And so, by the end of the day, I was even more tired than I'd been before my nap. But when Hiyori gave me a goodnight kiss before bed, all my exhaustion vanished in an instant.