Assassination Classroom: My Schemes Can't Be This Disgusting!
Chapter 34

Booming Vitality

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3mo ago

A cat, a black cat, but with white on its face, forehead, and around its mouth.

Calling it a cow cat wouldn't be quite right; more accurately, it's a tuxedo cat. That's not the point, though.

"You don't have to give it to me. For example, you could pair this cat with your dog for a cat-and-dog combo. I think that would be far more interesting than just handing it over directly."

Kiyotaka Kiyotaka didn't understand. Had he gotten it wrong again? Was this kind of emotion and mutual interaction really this complicated?

He was in a state of learning when it came to emotions, yet he could also exploit the emotions of others—a contradiction in itself.

"No need. If I did that, the dog would start a fight."

Kiyotaka Kiyotaka made up a flimsy excuse. A cat-and-dog fight would be perfect. Then he crouched down and placed the black cat at the entrance of the dorm room. The moment he set it down, the cat darted straight inside.

This move gave Beihai a bit of a hallucination. In the future, he'd become a poop scooper. Cat food couldn't be lacking, cat litter couldn't be lacking, there'd be shedding, and he'd have to endure the cat's free-spirited midnight zoomies while trying to sleep.

With it being so black all over, he'd have to be careful going to the bathroom at night, lest he accidentally step on the cat. Most importantly, cats were delicate, nowhere near as tough as Bruce.

Seeing the cat so well-behaved, Kiyotaka Kiyotaka nodded in satisfaction too.

"Looks like it really likes you."

Kiyotaka Kiyotaka was about to take a step when bang—the door slammed shut, nearly hitting his nose. With an awkward rub of his nose, he acted like nothing happened and left the scene.

Beihai looked at his room. Nothing seemed to have changed. The homework on the desk was illuminated by the lamp. Stationery, pen cases, and newly bought reference materials were all neatly placed to the side.

But Beihai knew an intruder had shattered his peace. He walked to his bed, crouched down, and reached his hand straight in.

Under the bed, he found the cat. It seemed to really enjoy following him around.

As the cat hissed, Beihai grabbed it and pulled it into his arms. Without petting it, he directly seized it by the scruff of its neck.

Finally, he examined it carefully, pondering the cat's ultimate fate. Honami Ichinose was definitely out of the question. Not to mention she was the leader of Class B.

Beihai figured that if he sent the kitten over, it would be like slapping a sign reading "I have a problem" right on his face. And it would definitely be exploited by students aiming to rise to Class A.

No doubt about it—this school's education itself had that tendency. It wouldn't rest until it had cultivated a few little demons.

Airisu Sakura, on the other hand, was a great choice. After all, everyone knew his relationship with her was very friendly. They could be considered friends.

"Yeah, that way I wouldn't have to buy all the cat stuff myself—cat food, cat litter, everything."

After all, raising a cat wasn't just about keeping it alive. There were all kinds of extra expenses.

Having figured that out, Beihai was in an exceptionally good mood.

If someone was happy, naturally someone else wasn't.

Rewind time to Class A.

The exam day had already passed, and the test papers had been handed out. In theory, they couldn't swap the papers. As long as there was no leak, the exam would proceed as planned.

But the problem lay in these very papers. There was no leak, but the difficulty was completely abnormal.

Take math, for example. Having one or two Olympiad-level problems as the final tough questions was already pushing it.

But when the papers were handed out and the students looked at them, it was all problem-solving questions. Not a single multiple-choice question. And the difficulty was absurdly high. Tough problems were everywhere.

Some students barely held back from standing up and cursing. Was this even human? If they could actually solve this, why the hell would they still be studying here!

Class A's homeroom teacher wasn't stupid either. After unsealing the test papers, his expression turned grim. The papers in the file bag were completely different from what this exam was supposed to be.

But there was nothing he could do. First, the whole school's exams had already started. How could only his class have a problem?

Second, that file bag had probably vanished without a trace. At the very least, it wouldn't be found before the exam ended.

Third, even if it was traced back, the school encouraged students to do this. There was no way to punish them. You'd even have to smile and say the other party's plan was well-executed and clever.

Even if it was swapped with another class's homeroom teacher, it could be passed off as a trade.

The worst part was that it only targeted Class A!

Even Class A's homeroom teacher felt a bitter taste rising in his throat. In theory, the other party's move was completely legitimate. But it still felt twisted and disgusting.

It wasn't a matter of open schemes or hidden plots. It was pure, unadulterated misery. And the key was that they only messed with his class. If this move was used, how could exams ever be normal again? How could anyone take them properly!

Kohei Katsuragi immediately raised his hand and stood up, taking the lead in questioning.

"Teacher, could the papers have been mixed up? I don't doubt this school's education, but I also don't believe that at our current stage, you'd pull out problems this difficult. Not only can we not learn this in high school, it'd be hard to learn even in university."

"There's nothing wrong with the papers!"

Class A's homeroom teacher, Tomoya Mashima, had no choice but to grit his teeth and insist the papers were fine. He couldn't say the school was at fault.

Even if he did, what could he do? Go get them himself? From where? Borrow from another class?

If he went to another class, they'd laugh their heads off and just say "no." Which homeroom teacher didn't want to climb the ranks?

Kohei Katsuragi sat back down. The teacher said there was no problem, but the questions were clearly wrong. Someone must have pulled a dirty trick. But why mess with this of all things?

He felt a bit stifled. He didn't know who it was, but pulling off such a nasty move took some real skill.

Arisu Sakayanagi, however, rose gracefully at that moment.

"If my guess is correct, only our class is enjoying this set of papers. How insidious.

If a minority can't solve a problem, but it's expanded to harm the interests of the majority, then the problem becomes very easy to solve."

But now that it's only our class, the other classes and the instigator would be all too happy to see us collapse.

If we fail this exam, it means expulsion. I can guarantee my own safety, but the rest of you—not so much.

Teacher, can I buy the answers directly from you? Don't set the price too outrageously, after all, even the school wouldn't want to see Class A collectively expelled less than two months into the semester."

The homeroom teacher nodded and stepped out to make a phone call, breathing a sigh of relief inside. Yes, that nauseating feeling was tied to this exam's expulsion stakes, and it could go either way.

On the grand scale, copying answers is completely unreasonable, but you have no choice but to trouble the school. On the smaller scale, you still have to admit the other side played dirty.

Swapping the test papers like that wiped out the entire class in one go. No matter how strong the remaining individuals were, what could they do? After all, this school ultimately judges by collective performance.

"The school's response is: yes, but your Class Points will remain unchanged."

"That's already good enough. I thought it wouldn't work—swapping out a set of papers. But I suppose there's not enough time for that either."

The next day, Beihai arrived at the classroom. The atmosphere was decent, as if they hadn't been crushed by last month's zero score. With this exam offering direct answers to copy and memorize, there was even less reason to panic.

Now Class D could truly say: a thriving vitality, all things competing—still vivid before their eyes.

End of Chapter
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