I Want to Legally Be a Scoundrel

"Alright, I promise you this—once it's done, you'll replace the original main line of Silverthorn House, elevated from a collateral branch to become the new head of Silverthorn House."

Victor's tense shoulders instantly relaxed, a flicker of barely concealed joy flashing in his eyes, yet he still clung to the last shred of noble dignity:

"Remember what you said. If you can't handle those people and Silverthorn House falls, even if I have to stake my life, I'll make sure you don't get off easy."

Fu Haoran let out a derisive snort and didn't bother to reply.

A cornered dog that had lost all its elites, with nowhere left to run—did it even have the right to talk about threats?

Victor clenched his fists, turned, and hurried away with his men, his back a picture of haste and disgrace.

He knew full well that with tens of thousands of his elites blown to bits, returning home would mean certain reckoning at the hands of his niece, Martha.

Fu Haoran was his only way out, and the offering he'd given, though seemingly sincere, was actually a minefield.

"Hmph, there's no such thing as a free lunch. I, the Governor, can dangle a pie in the sky, but whether you can catch it depends on your own skill."

As an old noble and an old politician, Victor understood clearly that unless absolutely necessary, you never burn all your bridges.

He certainly needed a token of allegiance, but even more, he needed to use Fu Haoran's hand to purge his rivals and clear the obstacles to reclaiming power.

Once Victor had left, Wade sidled up: "Sir, how much truth is there in that old fox's offering? What if he's leading us into a trap..."

"A trap?" Fu Haoran laughed. "I blew up tens of thousands of his elites. Going back means death. Right now, he's betting his life that I can win."

"Besides, even if the intel is fake and he screws us over, can he recoup his losses?"

Yuri, lounging with his legs crossed, suddenly let out a snicker: "Governor, haven't you noticed that old fox has no good intentions? I'd bet this offering is riddled with pitfalls."

"Look," Yuri pointed at the coordinates, "all these warehouses, vaults, and cargo ships are under noble names."

"Both Imperial and Hive City law explicitly protect noble private property. The Governor has no authority to touch them. If you dare to seize them by force, well, the Planetary Defense Navy will have grounds to step in directly."

"They'll slap a rebellion charge on you." Yuri shrugged. "Then you won't be far from death, and I don't want to be buried with you. I haven't saved up enough to buy a little cargo ship and run yet!"

In the interstellar age, naval power far outstripped ground forces.

That was the real reason the nobles acted with impunity—they controlled a sizable navy.

Fu Haoran frowned. Victor had given genuine intel, but no justification for action.

"The way I see it," Yuri said with certainty, "Victor the old fox wants to offer his allegiance, but he doesn't want to fully offend the other nobles."

"He's itching for you to raid, get surrounded by the nobles after the raid, and let him scoop up the spoils."

"More importantly, if we use force, every faction in the Hive City will panic and band together. We'd instantly become public enemy number one, and that means an all-out war to the death."

Fu Haoran raised an eyebrow but didn't deny it: "I know. That's why we can't do it ourselves."

Wade was taken aback: "Not do it ourselves? Then how do we get the supplies in those warehouses?"

"Maybe... we hold off for now, wait for them to show a weakness?"

"Can't afford to wait." Fu Haoran shook his head. "The Tithe is due in just over two years. The sooner we clean up these nobles, the better."

Yuri spread his hands: "So what's your plan? Seizing by force is rebellion, but not seizing means no money."

Fu Haoran was silent for a few seconds, then suddenly looked up.

"We won't seize, won't fight, won't kill." Fu Haoran stood and walked to the window. "We'll just audit their taxes."

"Audit taxes?"

"That's right." Fu Haoran turned around. "Imperial law only mandates paying the Tithe. It doesn't care where the Tithe comes from."

"Whether it's stolen, robbed, swindled—doesn't matter."

"Not paying taxes is a crime."

"So why don't we follow the same playbook?"

Fu Haoran's smile at that moment was especially bright.

"How do you plan to do that?" Yuri pressed, realizing he understood this young man less and less.

"Simple—make everyone in the Hive City pay taxes!" Fu Haoran said matter-of-factly.

"As the Hive City Governor, I'll issue a Tax Decree requiring every single person in the Hive City to pay taxes annually. I don't care where their money comes from—theft, robbery, smuggling, fraud."

"As long as they pay taxes, I'll treat it as legal."

"Not paying taxes is a crime—arrest them, confiscate their property, throw them in jail."

"Whatever the Empire's tax system does to me, I'll do to everyone else."

Yuri was momentarily stunned.

Wade was also baffled: "Governor, what do you mean by that?"

Fu Haoran pulled up a Data Pad and briefly explained the Eagle Nation's IRS system from the 2K World.

Yuri stared blankly for three seconds, then blurted out: "Did your brain... escape from some Inquisition prison?"

After hearing him out, Yuri was the first to jump up: "Are you insane? Legalizing illegal income? From now on, every Under-hiver will be robbing, and every Mid-Hiver will be terrified!"

"Pretty soon, our command center will have people hauling stolen goods in to pay taxes every day—busier than the Under-hive black market!"

Wade frowned: "But Imperial law..."

"No, you're not grasping the core of it." Fu Haoran said confidently.

"I only said I won't ask where the money comes from—I never said tax-free theft is legal."

"Rob? Go rob the coordinates Victor gave us. Those are noble private assets, the untaxed kind."

"After the heist, pay 50% in taxes, and from then on, it's clean."

Fu Haoran was utterly certain: "There will always be those who guard the treasure and steal it themselves, and there will always be those willing to take the risk."

"Once someone gets a taste of the sweetness, and the story of overnight riches spreads, more and more people will follow suit."

Yuri was the fastest to catch on, immediately realizing the brilliance of this move lay in pointing everyone in the right direction.

No need to lift a finger themselves, yet still operating within the rules.

If nobles could use gangs to spite them, why couldn't Fu Haoran use the poor to retaliate against the nobles?

Brilliant!

"But what if the victims call the cops? The Adeptus Arbites can't just ignore it!" Yuri bluntly pointed out the key issue.

"The Adeptus Arbites doesn't answer to you."

Fu Haoran smiled and asked, "Simple—those people have to produce proof that the money is theirs and that they paid taxes on it."

"If they didn't pay taxes, they have to pay back taxes first, plus multiple times the fine. That's all clearly stipulated in Imperial law."

Yuri's eyes widened in amazement as he exclaimed, "So that means the nobles either face astronomical fines or swallow their losses and keep quiet!"

Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

Yuri had to admit, Fu Haoran's mind was filthy.

Even if the nobles got robbed, they'd have to grit their teeth and bear it!

Wade, the honest one among the three, still couldn't quite accept it. He advised, "Governor, is this really okay? What if someone impeaches us to the Ministry of Internal Affairs..."

"They can't impeach me." Fu Haoran said with righteous confidence. "I'm acting in my capacity as Hive City Governor to temporarily propose the formation of a tax department, requiring all income—legal or illegal, legitimate or gray—to be fully reported, in order to fill the gap in the Imperial Tithe. Who can find fault with that?"

"Impeach me? Let them think about their own warehouses first. Dare they report?"

"If they don't report, it's tax evasion."

"If they do report, they're admitting to hiding illicit funds."

"Either way, they're dead. Who's going to waste their time impeaching me?"

"Otherwise, when the Inquisitor from Terra comes down, we'll all be hung from the Hive City spires as a spectacle for those nobles to laugh at."

Fu Haoran pulled up another blank report form: "And I have more to add."

"Anyone in the Lower Hive who pays enough taxes can apply to move into the Mid-Hive, under the protection of the Planetary Defense Force. Those in the Mid-Hive can move to the Upper Hive."

"Also, there's plenty of vacant land in the Hive City. I plan to heavily develop Mid-Hive real estate, expand the Hive City, and accommodate the Lower Hive populace. It stabilizes public sentiment and makes another profit—why not?"

Wade still hesitated: "But Governor, the people in the Lower Hive won't trust us. They'll think, 'After we report our taxes, you'll turn around and arrest us.'"

"Especially the remnants of the Iron Hand Gang. After Jack's death, they're definitely hostile toward us."

"Trust or not, we'll find out by trying." Fu Haoran waved his hand. "Release the policy, put out some vague coordinates for noble warehouses, then have our people disguise themselves as Lower Hive refugees, rob a small warehouse first, pay the taxes, and then move into the Mid-Hive openly."

"Once someone leads the way and tastes the sweetness, the rest will follow without us lifting a finger—even the Iron Hand Gang's leftovers won't be able to resist."

"Wait, isn't this just being a thug?" Yuri countered.

"That's right, it's being a thug." Fu Haoran grinned. "But a legal thug."

Yuri was deeply shaken, feeling he'd been far too kind in the past.

He even suspected that his own governor was a follower of some Blue Bird Cult!