A Gentleman with Hemorrhoids

This routine inquiry was merely a coincidental misunderstanding; Chen Jue had not violated any public safety regulations.

Because Chen Jue's Darts technique had been registered long ago, and the targets he had eliminated with nails were merely pests like rats, it was considered a good deed for the public.

Before leaving, Officer Liu specifically gave him a few words of advice, telling him to be careful next time he dealt with rats and to always keep an eye on his surroundings.

After all, the lethality of Chen Jue's nail-throwing was too high; if he accidentally struck a person, it would lead to major trouble.

It seems being a city hunter isn't as easy as it looks!

I'll have to be more careful about safety from now on. Chen Jue accepted the advice with a guilty conscience.

After seeing the two police officers off, Chen Jue returned to his workstation with a calm expression.

Glancing at Shen Shikun nearby, he noticed that the chubby man had been dozing off since before he had even stood up to leave, and was still asleep now. He didn't know if it was a natural tendency to sleep or if there was something wrong with his health.

However, since even their team leader, Li Mo, had no objections, Chen Jue didn't bother the other man's sweet dreams.

After all, waking someone up suddenly while they are napping is a very dangerous thing. It easily triggers a series of health issues like psychological imbalance, dizziness, high blood pressure, and neurasthenia.

He sat down, opened his computer, and while calmly squeezing his Grip Strengthener, he began attempting the Anal Contraction exercise he had learned online.

The dinner he'd had at Laxi Street last night probably didn't meet hygiene standards and had irritated his digestive tract. Although Chen Jue had cleared his bowels thoroughly that morning, the irritation had caused his hemorrhoids to prolapse slightly.

Sitting down created pressure and was very uncomfortable, so Chen Jue tried lifting his buttocks, spreading his legs, and hovering slightly over his chair, intending to use targeted exercise to improve this annoying little ailment.

Unexpectedly, this half-squatting posture was not easy; his center of gravity kept shifting backward involuntarily. Chen Jue had to adjust his posture bit by bit, incidentally using his toes to grip the soles of his shoes tightly.

After practicing for about a minute, his legs and lower back began to ache slightly, and the panel suddenly popped up two new notifications!

[Ding~]

[Completed one comprehensive exercise meeting the requirements. Your leg and lower back muscle groups have been effectively trained, and your body's balance has slightly improved.]

[Skill Activated: Horse Stance]

[Ding~]

[Completed one effective aerobic exercise. Your external anal sphincter, levator ani, rectal longitudinal muscle, gluteus maximus, and other muscle groups have been trained. Blood circulation in the area has accelerated, and your control over these muscles has slightly improved.]

[Skill Activated: Anal Contraction]

"Activated two skills at once?"

"Horse Stance, Anal Contraction..."

Chen Jue was stunned for a moment before hurriedly opening his browser to look them up.

So-called Anal Contraction was an elegant term for the ancient practice of lifting the anus. In ancient times, the anus was also called the "Grain Path," as all the grains and miscellaneous foods consumed by humans were expelled through this point.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the anus is also called the "Po Gate." "Po" is a homophone for the "dregs" of the body, meaning this part of the body is responsible for transporting digested waste.

The Yellow Emperor's Inner Canon records: "The Po Gate is the envoy of the five organs; water and grain must not be stored for long."

Based on Chen Jue's current understanding, it meant that the anus is the porter for the five organs. Water and food cannot be stored in the stomach and intestines for too long; they should be expelled on time, as prolonged storage easily leads to constipation, hemorrhoids, and other diseases.

As for the Horse Stance, it is the fundamental skill of many Chinese martial arts, also known as the "Stake Stance" or "Zha Ma."

Because the half-squatting posture resembles a person riding a horse, it earned the name Horse Stance.

If practiced well, the Horse Stance is said to strengthen the kidneys and waist, fortify the tendons, and replenish Qi, thereby developing what is known as internal energy.

As for whether it was as magical as the internet claimed, Chen Jue didn't know.

He only found that the Horse Stance includes auxiliary movements of lifting the anus and contracting the perineum. He guessed that was precisely why he had accidentally activated both new skills at once.

"It is best to control the Anal Contraction practice to twice a day, morning and evening, for about 10 minutes each."

"As for the Horse Stance, beginners are advised to start with 5 to 10 minutes at a time, not exceeding 30 minutes, to avoid muscle and knee joint strain."

After finishing his research, Chen Jue made a note of the precautions and practice times.

He found that his "slacking off" at work was becoming increasingly productive.

In addition to squeezing the Grip Strengthener, he had learned two brand-new ways to exercise.

Most importantly, these two exercise methods could be activated and recorded by the panel. As long as he trained systematically, he would surely be able to grind out quite a few attributes.

Sure enough, during his reasonable slacking time that morning, Chen Jue had actually managed to grind out 0.01 Strength and 0.01 Physique through the [Horse Stance].

Beyond that, what surprised Chen Jue most was that after completing 10 minutes of [Anal Contraction] practice, his Spirit attribute had actually increased by 0.1 points.

According to Chen Jue's personal interpretation, this was because the opening and closing of the anus (Po Gate) relied heavily on mental willpower to control.

Making it perform closing, contracting, and relaxing movements required intense concentration.

Over time, it was no less taxing than climbing stairs or throwing darts, thus influencing the training and improvement of his mental willpower.

"Brother Jue, you must also be a fellow sufferer of hemorrhoids, right?"

"I saw you half-squatting there this morning, twisting back and forth; that must have been quite annoying, right!"

During the lunch break, Shen Shikun teamed up with Chen Jue again to grab a meal.

However, seeing him mysteriously open Taobao to recommend a seat cushion gadget marketed as "No Hemorrhoids, No Fear," Chen Jue knew that this chubby guy likely suffered from the same minor ailment as he did.

After all, once you spend a long time in an office and start eating heavy, greasy food, there is basically no one who can escape this fate.

"Thanks, I'll buy one later."

Chen Jue didn't explain that he was practicing how to alleviate this unspeakable condition, because after a morning of experimentation, he had indeed experienced a sense of comfort he had never felt before.

According to Chen Jue's deduction, practicing [Anal Contraction] and [Horse Stance] together should be no less effective than practicing [Eye Health Exercises] while sunbathing.

If he kept at it, the chronic hemorrhoids that had plagued him for over a decade would likely see significant improvement.

As for whether it could be completely cured, Chen Jue didn't hold out much hope; as long as it made him feel more comfortable, he would just keep training hard.

It was paid exercise anyway—getting paid while training, why not?

But seeing Shen Shikun order another large portion of oily, skin-on braised pork and fried chicken legs for lunch, Chen Jue couldn't help but advise: "Shikun, are you sure it's okay to eat like this? Aren't you afraid of the three highs? I saw you nodding off all morning."

"Afraid! Of course I'm afraid!"

"But I've had the three highs for a long time now. I can't control my cravings; I just love eating this greasy stuff."

"I was sleepy this morning because I was playing games and grinding dungeons until 2 AM last night." Shen Shikun chuckled without offering much more explanation.

However, looking at his "dead pig isn't afraid of boiling water" attitude, he was likely very well aware of his own physical condition.

Everyone has their own personality and hobbies, just as Chen Jue couldn't quit smoking on a whim.

Persuading a fat man who loves fried food to give up his bad diet is no easier than a heavy smoker quitting cigarettes.

Chen Jue's concern and reminder were merely out of politeness; he had no intention of forcibly interfering with someone else's lifestyle.

Because he himself had only just started exercising, adjusting his schedule, and improving his health.

Before he had succeeded himself, it was better not to preach to others.

He had come to this new unit to earn money as a transition while working on his fitness; it was rare to find a colleague with the same idea of slacking off, so being "lunch buddies" who didn't interfere with each other was the right way to go.

After eating, it was time for a nap.

Chen Jue took a moment to open his Master of Unique Skills account.

To his surprise, after a few days, the two videos he had previously posted had actually reached five-digit view counts.

The likes, comments, and bullet comments underneath had also increased significantly.

In particular, the [Unique Skill: Darts] video had sparked a heated discussion among a bunch of dart and martial arts enthusiasts.

"Holy crap!"

"Awesome, big boss!"

"Terrifying!"

"It can't be that accurate; it must be played in reverse, with the dart flying from the tree (doge)."

"Beyond ten paces, the dart is fast; within ten paces, it's fast and accurate. The big boss is at a 20-pace distance here, right? (Subway old man looking at phone)"

"Impressive (like). Does your vision get dry throwing darts like that?"

"To the guy above: the OP is performing a unique skill throwing darts, and you're asking if his eyes get dry (WTF)? Do you believe he'd throw a dart at you through the screen!"

"That's over 1.8 joules, right? (doge)"

"@Central Plains Fast Sword, you two should have a PK to see who's better (squint)."

The comment section was filled with jokesters, and there were also people egging Chen Jue on to have an offline showdown with the other dart influencer.

Chen Jue had followed this OP, whose ID was Central Plains Fast Sword, before.

The other party was a master of darts with expert-level skills; he could throw anything—wrenches, chopsticks, nails—and hit exactly where he aimed.

Chen Jue had often watched his videos to learn when he was practicing darts, so meeting him online like this was a wonderful twist of fate.

Moreover, this @Central Plains Fast Sword OP had even appeared in person to leave a comment under Chen Jue's video: "Impressive (like). If you have the chance, come to the Central Plains to exchange pointers."

The two dart masters interacting from afar caused a stir among the netizens in the comment section, leading to all sorts of wild theories.

The number of likes, comments, and views kept climbing!

According to Chen Jue's estimation, in another two days, the video's view count might break 100,000+, and his account's follower count had been rising steadily, nearing ten thousand.

"Finally, I wasn't mocked like I was with the stone skipping last time."

"As expected, only master-level skills are worth showing off!"

After reviewing the backend data, Chen Jue felt that his little side hustle of making videos finally showed signs of breaking into the mainstream.

Just as he was about to close the app to take a nap, a private message from a merchant collaboration popped up in the backend.

"Master of Unique Skills, you have the potential to go viral! Would you like to collaborate and promote our products?"