A Man with Hemorrhoids

This routine inquiry had been nothing more than a highly coincidental misunderstanding. Chen Jue hadn't violated any public security regulations.

His dart skills had already been registered long ago, and the pests he'd killed with nails were all vermin like rats. He'd actually been doing the public a good deed.

Before leaving, Officer Liu had even specifically reminded him to be careful next time he went after rats and to stay aware of his surroundings.

After all, Chen Jue's flying nails were far too powerful. If he accidentally hit someone, he'd be in serious trouble.

"Looks like being a city hunter isn't as easy as it seems!"

"I'll have to be more careful from now on." Chen Jue accepted the advice sheepishly.

After seeing the two officers off, Chen Jue returned to his workstation with a calm expression.

He glanced at Shen Shikun beside him and realized the chubby man had already been dozing before Chen Jue got up to leave. He was still asleep now. Chen Jue couldn't tell whether he was naturally prone to sleep or had something wrong with him.

But since even their team leader, Li Mo, didn't seem to mind, Chen Jue didn't disturb his sweet dreams.

After all, suddenly waking someone who was dozing was very dangerous. It could easily lead to psychological imbalance, dizziness, elevated blood pressure, nervous exhaustion, and a whole host of other health problems.

He sat down at his computer, calmly squeezing his grip strengthener as he tried the anal contractions he'd learned about online.

The dinner he'd had on Laxi Street last night probably hadn't been very hygienic and had irritated his stomach. Though he'd had a thorough, uninterrupted bowel movement that morning, the irritation had caused his hemorrhoids to prolapse a little.

Sitting down put pressure on them and felt very uncomfortable, so Chen Jue tried raising his buttocks, spreading his legs, and hovering over his workstation. He planned to use targeted exercises to improve this annoying little problem.

He hadn't expected the half-squat to be so difficult. His center of gravity kept shifting backward involuntarily, so Chen Jue had to keep adjusting his posture and clenching his toes against the soles of his shoes.

After practicing for a little over a minute, his legs and lower back began to ache faintly. To his surprise, the Attribute Panel suddenly displayed two new prompts!

[Ding~]

[You completed a comprehensive exercise that met the requirements. Your leg and lower-back muscle groups received an effective workout, and your balance improved slightly.]

[Skill activated: Horse Stance]

[Ding~]

[You completed an effective aerobic exercise. Your external anal sphincter, levator ani, rectal longitudinal muscles, gluteus maximus, and other muscle groups received a workout. Blood circulation in the area accelerated, and your control over those muscles improved slightly.]

[Skill activated: Anal Contraction]

"Two skills activated at once?"

"Horse Stance and Anal Contraction..."

Chen Jue was taken aback, then hurriedly opened his browser to look them up.

Anal contraction was an elegant old-fashioned name for what was now called pelvic floor exercise. In ancient times, the anus was also known as the "grain passage," since all the grains people ate left the body through it.

In traditional Chinese medicine, the anus was also called the "Po Gate." The character for "Po" was interchangeable with the one in "dregs," meaning that this part of the body was responsible for expelling the waste left after digestion.

The Yellow Emperor's Inner Canon recorded: "The Po Gate also serves the five viscera; food and water must not remain stored for too long."

Given Chen Jue's current level of knowledge, he understood it to mean that the anus was the five viscera's transport worker. Water and food shouldn't remain in the digestive system for too long after being broken down. They should be expelled regularly, since keeping them in for too long could lead to constipation, hemorrhoids, and other problems.

As for the Horse Stance, it was a basic exercise in many Chinese martial arts, also known as the post stance or horse stance.

Since the half-squat resembled someone riding a horse, it had been given that name.

They said that practicing the Horse Stance properly could strengthen the kidneys and lower back, build up the tendons, and replenish one's energy, eventually developing the so-called internal power.

Chen Jue had no idea whether it was really as miraculous as the internet claimed.

He'd only found that the Horse Stance included a complementary movement involving contracting the pelvic floor. That was probably why he'd accidentally activated both new skills at once.

"It's best to practice Anal Contraction twice a day, morning and evening, for about ten minutes each time."

"As for the Horse Stance, beginners are advised to start with five to ten minutes at a time and not go over thirty minutes, to avoid overworking the muscles and knee joints."

After finishing his research, Chen Jue jotted down the precautions and recommended practice times.

He realized he was getting more and more into slacking off at work.

Besides squeezing his grip strengthener, he'd now learned two completely new ways to exercise.

Most importantly, both of these exercises could be activated and recorded by the Attribute Panel. As long as he trained regularly, he was sure to gain plenty of attributes.

Sure enough, after a morning of slacking off in moderation, Chen Jue had gained 0.01 Strength and 0.01 Constitution from practicing the Horse Stance.

On top of that, what surprised him most was that after ten minutes of Anal Contraction, his Mentality had increased by a tiny point.

Chen Jue's personal understanding was that opening and closing the anus—the Po Gate—relied heavily on mental willpower for control.

Making it contract and relax required intense concentration.

After a while, it was hardly any easier than climbing stairs or throwing darts, and it helped train and improve his mental willpower.

"Brother Jue, you're a fellow sufferer too, aren't you?"

"I saw you half-squatting there this morning, shifting around. It must be pretty annoying!"

At lunchtime, Shen Shikun went downstairs to eat with Chen Jue again.

But when Chen Jue saw him mysteriously open Taobao and recommend a cushion advertised as "No Fear of Hemorrhoids," he knew the chubby man probably had the same minor problem.

After all, once you'd spent enough time sitting in an office and started eating spicy food again, there were hardly any people who could escape this fate.

"Thanks. I'll get one later."

Chen Jue didn't explain that he'd been practicing how to relieve the embarrassing problem. After trying it all morning, he really had experienced a comfortable feeling he'd never felt before.

Chen Jue figured that practicing Anal Contraction and the Horse Stance together should be just as effective as sunbathing while doing Eye Health Exercises.

If he kept it up, the hemorrhoids that had troubled him for more than a decade might improve considerably.

As for whether they could be cured completely, Chen Jue wasn't too hopeful. As long as the exercises made him feel more comfortable, he'd keep doing them.

It was exercise on company time, and he still got paid while doing it. What could be better?

But when he saw Shen Shikun order a huge serving of greasy braised pork belly with the skin on, along with fried chicken legs for lunch, Chen Jue couldn't help warning him. "Shikun, are you sure it's okay to eat like that? Aren't you worried about high blood pressure, high blood sugar, and high cholesterol? You were dozing all morning."

"Of course I'm worried!"

"But I've had all three for ages. I can't control myself—I just love greasy food."

"I was sleepy this morning because I stayed up late running dungeons with my friends last night. I didn't go to bed until after two." Shen Shikun chuckled, offering no further explanation.

But judging from how he seemed to have no fear of the consequences, he probably knew his own health situation all too well.

Everyone had their own personality and preferences, just as Chen Jue couldn't quit smoking overnight.

Getting a chubby guy who loved fried food to give up his unhealthy diet was no easier than getting an old smoker to quit cigarettes.

Chen Jue had only been expressing a polite concern and offering a reminder. He had no intention of forcing his lifestyle advice on anyone.

After all, he'd only just started exercising, adjusting his schedule, and improving his health himself.

Until he'd succeeded, he was better off not lecturing anyone else.

He'd taken this new job to earn some money while he was in between things, and to get a little exercise on the side. It wasn't easy to find a coworker who shared his love of slacking off. Being lunch buddies and minding their own business was the sensible thing to do.

After lunch, during the break, Chen Jue found some time to open his Master of Unique Skills account.

To his surprise, the two videos he'd posted a few days ago had both reached five-digit view counts.

They'd also gained quite a few likes, comments, and on-screen comments.

The video titled "[Unique Skill: Darts]" had especially drawn a heated discussion among dart and martial arts enthusiasts.

"Holy crap!"

"That's incredible, expert!"

"Terrifying!"

"There's no way you're that accurate. It's definitely playing in reverse—the dart flew out of the tree! (doge)"

"Beyond ten paces, the dart is fast. Within ten paces, the dart is both fast and accurate. That's gotta be twenty paces, right? (old man on the subway looking at his phone)"

"Impressive! (like) Does throwing darts like that make your eyes dry?"

"Hey, the UP creator's performing a dart trick, and you're asking if his eyes get dry? (WTF) Don't be surprised if he throws one right through your screen!"

"That's over 1.8 joules, right? (doge)"

"@Central Plains Fast Sword, you two should compete and see who's better! (side-eye)"

The comments were full of jokesters. Some people were also egging Chen Jue on to meet another famous dart-throwing creator in person for a friendly match.

Chen Jue had followed that UP creator, whose ID was Central Plains Fast Sword, before.

He was an expert at throwing darts, with skills at a master level. Wrenches, chopsticks, nails—he could throw anything, and he could hit whatever he aimed at.

Chen Jue had often watched his videos to learn when he first started practicing darts. Now they'd crossed paths online, and the coincidence was fascinating.

And Central Plains Fast Sword had personally appeared in the comments under Chen Jue's video, writing, "Impressive! (like) If you get the chance, come to the Central Plains and we can exchange pointers."

The two dart experts had faced off online, sending the commenters into a frenzy of speculation.

The likes, comments, and views kept climbing!

Chen Jue figured the video might break 100,000 views in a couple of days. Even the number of followers on his account kept rising, and it was about to reach ten thousand.

"At least I'm not getting mocked by everyone like I was last time with Stone Skipping."

"Looks like I really need master-level skills before I can show them off!"

After checking the account data, Chen Jue felt that his little side hustle making videos had finally begun to show signs of breaking out.

He was about to close the app and take a nap when a private message from a potential sponsor popped up.

"Master of Unique Skills, you've got the potential to go viral! Want to team up and promote our product?"

First update~

Nothing going on today, so I started early.

Please keep voting for me with your recommendations and monthly tickets~

I made a mistake with the chapter numbers in the previous few chapters, but I've corrected them now. It won't affect your reading, dear readers. (heart)