Astonishing Wisdom of Wu Ergui

"If you can't persuade the girl, then go persuade that boy. He seems like a reasonable person; if you take the initiative to speak with him, he should agree."

"Persuade him? That's even more impossible!" Xu Kun shook his head, saying helplessly:

"We've already lost enough face for our ancestors by using a royal princess to rope him in. If I were to convince him to change academies just to set them up, it would make the Sun Moon Empire look like we're desperately throwing our princess at him. Does the Sun Moon Royal Family have no dignity? No, no! Absolutely not."

"This won't work, that won't work—you've been spoiled rotten... Since that's the case, there is only one superior strategy left!"

At this, the smile on Wu Ergui's face was replaced by seriousness. He walked to the imperial desk and whispered: "You are the Emperor. Delegate the task to Xu Yan and have him solve it for you. If he can't solve it, just have him dragged out and beaten with a rod."

"Huh? Delegate the work to someone else? That's your superior strategy? Are you serious?"

"Wu Ergui, are you in your right mind?!" Xu Kun clenched his fists, staring at Wu Ergui in disbelief, as if he wanted to crack open the man's skull to see if his brain was stuffed with intestines or something else entirely.

"Do you have a better method, then?" Wu Ergui shrugged his shoulders and spread his hands: "Might as well treat a dead horse as if it were still alive."

"..." Xu Kun fell silent. He lowered his head to ponder for a long time, and finally, as if resigning himself to fate, he stood up. As he walked toward the exit of the hall, he waved his hand: "Fine, fine. Imperial We won't worry about it anymore. Imperial We are going to sleep! Handle it yourself!"

"Good, then I'll go pay Xu Yan a visit. Also, if you aren't working, go to sleep early. You're at that age, so don't be pulling any fancy stunts in bed. Be careful you don't end up dying of a sudden heart attack one of these days."

"..."

This time, Xu Kun didn't even turn back to retort. Instead, he very fashionably mimicked the youth of today and gave Wu Ergui the middle finger behind his back.

Meanwhile, on the other side, 'Xu Yan', a native born and raised in Bright Capital, was leading Qian Yuhan for a stroll through the night market of this 'City That Never Sleeps'.

"Don't worry, just eat! My treat!" Xu Yan patted his chest with a loud thud. Every time he walked up to a stall, he threw money around lavishly, packing up all sorts of delicacies and stuffing them into Qian Yuhan's arms.

It was as if... Qian Yuhan, whose volume was less than a third of his own, was some kind of bottomless humanoid glutton.

"Actually, there's no need for this. If I want to eat something, I'll get it myself." Qian Yuhan sighed with a complex expression as he looked at the pile of cooked food in his arms, enough to last him a week.

"Hahahaha."

Xu Yan patted his own shiny forehead and let out a hearty laugh. Suddenly, he turned to the side and said:

"You keep eating. I suddenly need to... go drain the lizard."

With that, Xu Yan scurried away, leaving only Qian Yuhan and Rakshasa staring at the mountain of food in bewilderment.

Watching Xu Yan's figure dash away like a flying bolt, the Rakshasa Phantom suddenly blurted out:

'Old Qian, you don't think this old guy didn't bring any money at all, and just left us here while he ran off, do you!'

"Probably not," Qian Yuhan said expressionlessly while chewing on a grilled squid skewer. "Besides, even if he ran off without paying, we have our own money."

'That's true. This Seat has had a decent harvest digging up soul master bones in the Soul Beast Forest these past few years.' The Rakshasa Phantom nodded, pointing at several dishes with a rather 'Lovecraftian' style. Turning into the King of Flies, it rubbed its hands frantically: 'Pack these dishes up to take back. I want to eat.'

To this, Qian Yuhan raised an eyebrow and frowned:

"Even if you activate your soul skill, you are just an elemental energy body. You can't eat food at all. Not to mention your soul form—you can't even smell the flavor."

"But don't I have you!" The Rakshasa Phantom's eyes lit up, deliberately putting on a pitiful posture, and 'begged': "Just based on the friendship we've shared through thick and thin these past few years, surely you can let me possess you to have a meal!"

"Hiss—I don't think that's how 'sharing thick and thin' is used!" Qian Yuhan, scorched by the Rakshasa Phantom's thunderous vocabulary, looked incredibly embarrassed, but he truly couldn't resist the expectant gaze of the Rakshasa Phantom.

Finally, he sighed and closed his eyes: 'If we pack it up, the food will get cold. If you want to eat, do it now.'

'Heh, I knew you, Qian Yuhan, were a decent person. If I had met you eight thousand years earlier, why would I have even chosen Bibi Dong!'

As the words fell, the Rakshasa Phantom turned into a wisp of green smoke, whooshed into Qian Yuhan, and began to feast.

What?

You ask why it didn't take this opportunity to stir up trouble?!

Come on, what would it gain by causing trouble now? Would it trade the time it could spend eating, drinking, having fun, and chatting for cultivation, just to work hard to become a god?

Not to mention the high risk and difficulty of seizing Qian Yuhan's spiritual sea, the payoff simply wasn't worth it!

Anyway, once Qian Yuhan became a god, it would definitely be able to ascend to heaven along with him. Wouldn't it be better to insert some private agendas into the God Trials while it controlled the content, and watch the super-beast Qian Yuhan do all the work for it?

"Uncle Wu, you called for me."

Damn it, why is this old guy not staying by the Emperor's side and coming to find me instead? Have my years of slacking off at work, padding my hours, and leeching off the imperial palace finally been discovered?

In the shadows, Xu Yan looked at the hunched old man before him with a face full of smiles, while mentally recounting the number of times he had slacked off, arrived late, or left early over the past few years.

He decided that as soon as Wu Ergui started questioning him, he would immediately kneel and confess for leniency, hoping for a punishment of just a salary deduction rather than a caning.

"Marquis of Xiyang, there is an imperial decree!" Wu Ergui said.

"Ah? An imperial decree!" Xu Yan was stunned for a moment, then bowed and saluted: "Subject, Marquis of Xiyang Xu Yan, respectfully asks after the Emperor's health!"

"The Emperor is well!" Wu Ergui reached out, used a surge of soul power to support Xu Yan, pulled him to his side, and whispered mysteriously:

"The 'Emperor' just forgot one thing. The Emperor's only daughter, Xu Tianzhen, has applied to the Bright Capital Soul Engineer Academy, yet that young friend wants to study at the Sun-Moon Royal Soul Engineer Academy. If that happens, how are they supposed to cultivate their feelings!"

"I hereby order the Marquis of Xiyang, Xu Yan, to step forward and resolve this worry for the Emperor. I require you, my loyal subject, to ensure that within three days—that is, before the evening of the day when applications close for both the Sun-Moon Royal Soul Engineer Academy and the Bright Capital Soul Engineer Academy—you convince one of them to change their application, without shaming the dignity of our Sun Moon nation or offending the royal majesty. This is the decree."

"Ah..." Xu Yan froze. He could not only clearly feel his left brain attempting to elbow his right brain, but he could also feel a massive conspiracy looming over him.