Xie Xie had secretly done something naughty and was grinning as he turned his head back—only to meet Wu Zhangkong's eyes.
Xie Xie guiltily looked away.
Fortunately, Wu Zhangkong's gaze didn't linger on him for long. It soon shifted to the student sprawled awkwardly on the ground, and she parted her lips, her tone so indifferent it held not a trace of emotion:
"In this world, there are no Trash Martial Souls, only useless people."
"When you call someone else useless, take a good look at what kind of person you are. If you weren't useless, would you have been assigned to Class Five?"
Her voice was perfectly calm, yet the entire classroom fell silent, like cicadas in winter.
"Continue."
"My name is Zhou Changxi!" Zhou Changxi, behind Tang Wulin, shot up from his seat and practically shouted, "My Martial Soul, my Martial Soul is the Great Strength Divine Ape, and my Soul Power is level eleven! My goal is to become a strength-type Battle Soul Master!"
After making her way around the room, it was finally Xie Xie's turn.
"My name is Xie Xie. My Martial Soul is the Light Dragon Dagger, my Soul Power is level eighteen, and my goal is to become an Agility Attack System Battle Spirit Master."
As soon as he finished speaking, the class erupted in astonished cries.
A genius like Xie Xie should have been assigned to Class One. How had he ended up in Class Five? Whispers quickly spread from seat to seat.
Xie Xie couldn't feel pleased with himself.
The one at the lectern was the real genius: a Four-Ring Soul Ancestor at twelve years old. If not for the incident involving Long Bing all those years ago, the position of captain of this generation's Shrek Seven Devils would probably have changed hands long ago.
Wu Zhangkong's gaze remained cool and composed. She paused briefly on Xie Xie, then naturally turned to the next person.
After sitting down, Xie Xie rubbed his chin again, his thoughts already starting to wander.
Come to think of it, now that Wu Zhangkong had become a woman, didn't that mean she and Long Bing were...
The lilies of his hometown had bloomed?
Once everyone in the class had introduced themselves, Wu Zhangkong spoke again. "Classes officially begin tomorrow. My teaching methods are different from those of the other teachers. If you're afraid of hardship, exhaustion, or pain, transfer schools as soon as possible, or find a way to change classes. Those who stay should prepare themselves mentally."
"All right, class dismissed."
With that, Wu Zhangkong strode away in her white, high-heeled ankle boots.
The moment Wu Zhangkong disappeared through the doorway, the classroom, which had been dead silent, exploded into a hubbub. Voices rose and fell, most of them discussing their beautiful, cold new homeroom teacher.
"Xie Xie, let's go." Tang Wulin stood up and called to him.
"Coming!" Xie Xie caught up to Tang Wulin in a few quick strides.
The two had just stepped out of the classroom when they found the entire corridor in an uproar. The direction Wu Zhangkong had gone was especially crowded with upper-year students.
"Tang Wulin! You're in Class Five?!"
An excited voice rang in their ears.
Tang Wulin turned around. A graceful figure had already come up to him. It was Liu Yuxin, the Advanced Division upperclassman who had shown him around the academy when he enrolled yesterday.
"U-Upperclassman?"
Tang Wulin was a little confused. "Yeah. My Martial Soul is Blue Silver Grass, so I was assigned to Class Five..."
Liu Yuxin waved her hand, so excited she could barely get her words out. "That's not what I mean! I mean, the cool goddess is your homeroom teacher! Aaaaah!"
"The cool goddess?" Xie Xie leaned over from the side, intrigued.
"Exactly, exactly!"
In her excitement, Liu Yuxin didn't even ask who Xie Xie was before launching into it. "You guys must not know. Teacher Wu is the academy's number-one beauty. She's just a little cold. She used to teach in the Advanced Division, and we all adore her!"
"Upperclassman, if that's the case, how did Teacher Wu get transferred to the Intermediate Division?" Xie Xie asked. He didn't know where he'd produced a handful of sunflower seeds from, and was cracking them as he spoke. He even passed a few to Tang Wulin.
In the original story, Wu Zhangkong had gotten into a fierce conflict with the head of the Advanced Division's Academic Affairs Office. She'd even broken one of his legs, which was why she'd been demoted to the Intermediate Division.
But now Wu Zhangkong had become a woman. Surely the plot had changed too?
As a Chinese person, his instinct to eat up gossip was etched into his DNA. Even if the melon had been made of shit, he still had to take a couple of bites.
At the mention of it, Liu Yuxin's expression turned noticeably indignant. "That's a long story..."
Seeing that Liu Yuxin was about to launch into a lengthy explanation, Xie Xie raised a hand and cut her off.
"Then, sorry for the trouble, upperclassman, but keep it short."
Liu Yuxin pouted. "It was the former head of the Advanced Division's Academic Affairs Office. He liked Teacher Wu."
"He made a huge fuss trying to pursue Teacher Wu. Everyone at the academy knew about it. But Teacher Wu wasn't interested in him and rejected him over and over, until he flew into a rage."
"There was a huge commotion. The two of them started fighting right in the Advanced Division's teaching building. Lots of us saw it with our own eyes!"
"And then? What happened next?" Xie Xie asked, his eyes shining.
He instinctively reached for another handful, only to find that he'd finished his sunflower seeds.
He looked at Tang Wulin, who was quietly holding a pile of peeled kernels in his palm, ready to eat them.
Xie Xie: Secret Technique—Swipe It While You're At It!
With the speed of someone who'd been single for twenty years, Xie Xie snatched the kernels out of Tang Wulin's hand and swallowed them without a trace of embarrassment. He didn't forget to urge Liu Yuxin to continue, either.
Tang Wulin was clearly taken aback. He smiled helplessly, then simply began peeling sunflower seeds for Xie Xie.
"The ending was so satisfying!"
Liu Yuxin glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention, then cautiously leaned closer to the two of them and lowered her voice, a hint of excitement in it.
"I heard that Teacher Wu broke the headmaster's third leg! Hehe!"
"Serves him right!"
Xie Xie gave her a thumbs-up on the spot.
Liu Yuxin raised her chin smugly. "You bet."
"I'm telling you, Teacher Wu is the best teacher in our academy! She's beautiful, has a great figure, teaches well, and is powerful! She has six Soul Rings. She's an undisputed Soul Emperor-level powerhouse!"
"S-Six Soul Rings?!" Tang Wulin's hand froze as he peeled the seeds, his face full of shock.
Xie Xie, on the other hand, remained calm.
After all, Wu Zhangkong had already been a Six-Ring Soul Emperor at eighteen. She'd been the most dazzling genius in that year's Shrek. The only reason she was still a Six-Ring Soul Emperor now was that her emotional trauma had kept her from cultivating for more than a decade.
If she'd kept cultivating, Xie Xie figured, she'd probably have already reached the threshold of a Titled Douluo.
"So..." Liu Yuxin leaned closer to them again.
"Could you do your upperclassman a favor and take some pictures of my goddess?" Without another word, Liu Yuxin pulled out a small Soul Guidance Camera and stuffed it into Tang Wulin's hand.
"I'll leave the pictures to you. I have to go. Bye!"
Tang Wulin stared blankly at the camera in his hand. "Upperclassman, do you really want us to take pictures?"
Liu Yuxin had already run some distance away. She turned back, waved to the two of them, and smiled brightly. "Of course I do! Bye!"
Having never seen a Soul Guidance Camera before, Xie Xie was fascinated. He snatched it from Tang Wulin's hand and fiddled with it. "Hey, how do you use this thing?"
Xie Xie frowned, poking the camera screen at random with his fingertips.
A moment later, he raised his chin at Tang Wulin. "Tang Wulin, come take a look. I've been fiddling with this thing for ages and still can't figure it out. Could this Soul Guidance Camera be broken?"
Tang Wulin didn't suspect a thing. At his words, he immediately leaned over, lowering his head slightly to study the buttons on the camera.
"Let me see... Should I press here?"
The instant Tang Wulin leaned closer, Xie Xie hooked an arm around him and pulled him to his side, then quickly pressed the shutter with his other hand.
"Click—"
A crisp sound rang out, capturing a picture of the two boys, full of youthful spirit.
Tang Wulin froze for a moment before realizing what had happened. He looked helplessly at Xie Xie. "Xie Xie, you..."
Xie Xie held up the camera and gave it a smug little shake. His smile was sly and brazen. "That's called outsmarting you, baby."
At the word "baby," Tang Wulin's cheeks flushed in an instant. He turned his head away, instinctively unable to look at Xie Xie.
Seeing the tips of his ears turn a pale pink, Xie Xie grinned even more wickedly. He deliberately leaned closer, his warm breath almost brushing Tang Wulin's cheek.
"Oh? Someone's embarrassed? You're embarrassed over one little picture?"
Tang Wulin hurriedly shrank back. He didn't know what to do with his hands, and stammered, "W-Who's embarrassed? Give me the camera. What if you break it..."
He reached out to snatch it, but Xie Xie nimbly dodged backward.
Xie Xie held up the camera and looked over the picture they'd just taken, clicking his tongue twice. "If I break it, I'll pay for it, okay? It came out great. With looks like ours, we're unbeatable!"
Listening to him speak so seriously, Tang Wulin's heart inexplicably beat faster again. All he could do was turn away and pretend to admire the scenery. His ears grew even redder, and he didn't dare say another word.
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