I'll Never Let You Get Away with This

Sunderland approached William with a strange smile on her pretty face. Little Mishaer, ever sensitive, hid behind her brother, clearly sensing the female magistrate's ill will.

William didn't want to get entangled with the woman any further, either, so he asked, "Lady Sunderland, you're always busy with official business. What brings you here?"

"Ever since Mr. William arrived in Mirabar, our citizens have been living in fear! Your presence has put the council in a very difficult position!" The blue-eyed woman spoke as if she were accusing him of some heinous crime.

William frowned. "What does that have to do with me? I don't think I've ever done anything I shouldn't have!"

Sunderland feigned displeasure. "Your impersonation of a dragon was disgraceful! Because of Mr. William's prank, many—"

"Wait! When did I ever say I was a dragon? I can't accept such slander from a magistrate! And what a ridiculous way to make an accusation!" William interrupted her, protesting his innocence.

"Th-this..." Sunderland was at a loss for words. Damn it! Was she supposed to admit that this whole mess was caused by a failed prank of her own? Never! That would be far too humiliating! Besides, no one even knew that Mirabar's female magistrate was a mysterious Mage! At least, no one in the city knew—except for its lord, Marquis Erastu Larim!

The haughty woman's eyes darted around. After surveying the house, she said, "Fine! We'll put the matter of your impersonating a dragon aside for now. But we should have a serious discussion about who owns this house! The gods don't hand out bread to farmers for no reason." (A Faerûnian proverb, like "there's no such thing as a free lunch.")

William thought, Here it comes. But he didn't respond to the magistrate's point. He wanted to see what the woman was up to.

When William didn't answer, the woman, grinning like a fox that had stolen a chicken, continued on her own. "A house like this is worth thousands of gold coins in Mirabar! Surely you don't intend to occupy it for free? That would violate the lord's decree!"

William asked with a humorless smile, "And what would you suggest we do about it, Lady Magistrate?"

Sunderland pretended to inspect the whole house. She was a little surprised to see the Winter Wolf pelt on the bedroom bed. Pointing to it, she said to William, who was following behind her, "I see that this wolf pelt is about the only thing you own that's worth anything, and even it isn't enough to cover the value of the house." The magistrate circled the group, then casually pointed at little Mishaer's head. "Just give me that helmet! It's not worth much, but it is a rather unique little trinket. I can persuade the town hall to let you pay the rest later! How does that sound? I'm a kind and charitable woman, after all!" She spoke as if she were granting William's family an enormous favor.

Before William, deeply offended by Sunderland's tone, could speak, the two little girls went wild like mother beasts whose cubs had been threatened. They bared their teeth and claws and went after the "hypocritical" woman.

"You nasty bully! Don't even think about taking my Valkyrie Crown! William would never agree!"

"You greedy woman! Stop coveting my treasure! Beautiful Aelf won't let you have it!"

"Annoying Elf! What do you mean, your treasure? It's mine!"

"Heh heh! What's yours is mine! Even if it isn't now, it'll be in my hands eventually! Heh heh heh—!"

Well, the two little "enemies" hadn't even driven off the "outside threat" before they started fighting among themselves again.

Sunderland, brimming with confidence, paid no attention to the two girls' nonsense. She looked at William, certain of herself, and said, "Well, Mr. William? This is a rare opportunity. Even if those wealthy merchants from the south offered several times the price, it would still be extremely difficult for them to get a house like this in Mirabar. Don't let the chance slip away!"

William pretended to be troubled. "You can take the Winter Wolf pelt! As for the helmet, well, you heard her. Little Mishaer won't agree, and there's nothing I can do about it!"

"She's just a clueless little brat! Why should you care what she thinks? Just give me the helmet, and I can even persuade the town hall to waive whatever's still owed after the wolf pelt is deducted!" Sunderland glanced scornfully at the little girl tussling with the Elf, then sweetened the deal further.

William sneered inwardly. So she's after the little girl's helmet! Who'd have thought that little trinket I snatched from those lowly Goblins would be so tempting? No wonder the little Elf wouldn't stop clinging to it! I thought the strange little thing was just picking a fight with the girl on purpose. This woman really thinks I'm an idiot. He pretended to regretfully turn down the magistrate's "kind offer."

Sunderland was growing impatient. Her eyes wide with disbelief, she shouted, "You still won't agree? Are you an idiot? Fine! Just give me the helmet, and I'll even let you keep the precious Winter Wolf pelt!"

In a tone that would drive anyone mad, William said mournfully, "Oh! Thank you so much, generous Lady Sunderland Starglim! I really do want to accept your offer! But... sigh!" He sighed, then turned around, his expression instantly changing to a cheerful smile, and called out, "Phinia! Little Mishaer! Pack your things! We're moving!" The group cheerfully bundled up their meager belongings and prepared to leave. The two little troublemakers stuck out their tongues and made faces at the magistrate, looking unbearably smug.

"William! You—!" Sunderland, trembling with rage, turned red in the face. The woman was so furious she'd lost all her usual shrewdness. Ignoring all decorum, she shrieked and lunged at the little girl. "Don't go! Horn of Kor belongs to me!"

William coldly stepped in her way. The frenzied magistrate ran headfirst into his solid chest. The poor woman immediately clutched her nose and crouched on the ground, whimpering. It hurt so badly that tears streamed down her face. William crouched beside her too, put on a pained expression, and continued to rub it in. "Oh, generous lady! You're far too kind! I really wish I could accept your offer! Ah, what a lovely house! Please keep it and enjoy it yourself!" Then he stood, led the other three out of the house, and left Lady Sunderland crying even harder.

"You bastard! You scoundrel! I'll never let you get away with this!" William pretended not to hear the distant magistrate's curses. The group crossed the street, laughing, and arrived at old Singers's smithy.

"Old Singers! We're going to stay here from now on! Do you mind? Ha ha ha!" William laughed as he nudged the sleeping old Dwarf awake.

Singers opened his unfocused left eye and mumbled sleepily, "Who are you? Oh! William! Is it morning already? Damn it, you're too early! We'll talk after I've had some sleep!" The confused old Dwarf shut his eyes and went right back to sleep.

William spoke to the other three without a care. "Ignore him! Let's get our rooms in order first!" The four of them went up to the third floor, where they found a cluttered storage area. Behind two larger rooms were three smaller ones in a row. By the time hunger finally woke the one-eyed Dwarf, William and the others had nearly finished setting up their living quarters. Singers stared at the transformed rooms in shock and yelled, "William, you damn nuisance! Look what you've done to old Singers's house!"

Though the old Dwarf was deeply unhappy about the changes to his house, William and the three others moved in anyway. Lonely Singers wouldn't say so, but he was glad to have a few more people around the house—especially the two mischievous little ones, who gave him ample opportunities to indulge in scolding and nagging every day.

The next day, the energetic Dwarf prepared to head back into the underground tunnels to mine. A dozen or so low-quality ore chunks had been far too little, and Singers still blushed whenever he thought about it. This time, though, he had three new companions: Phinia and little Mishaer, along with the Elf girl Aelf. Since they had offended Sunderland, William didn't feel safe leaving the three of them behind.

This time, William and Singers were much better prepared: fine bread, smoked meat, sausages, vegetables, salt, fresh water, ale, a stewpot, and other food and utensils—enough for five people to last several days underground. Dozens of pints of lamp oil, torches, and lanterns meant they wouldn't have to worry about lighting for nearly half a month. They also had large pickaxes, sleeping bags, and blankets. The old Dwarf was green with envy over William's magic bag.

By the time Sunderland arrived at the one-eyed Dwarf's home with guards, intending to give William trouble, the smithy was already empty. Seething with rage, the female magistrate gritted her teeth and shouted at the deserted rooms, "Damn you, William! Don't think you can escape me by hiding in the tunnels! I'll never let you get away with this!"