Ina's Feelings

"So, have you heard when you might be discharged?"

"I've been lying around for half a year, so my body's gotten sluggish. I can't even use the Clone Technique properly. It looks like rehabilitation is going to take quite a while. If I want to become Hokage, I have to get out of here as soon as I can..."

"I see... I'm not trying to rush you, but you need to 'come back' soon. Everyone's waiting. You can't end up repeating a year, can you?"

"Yeah, I'm the Hokage's grandson, after all. Repeating a year would be a little..."

As he watched Diejian force a wry smile, Sakumo gazed quietly at him.

They ate mandarins and caught each other up on what had been happening.

A great deal had changed while Diejian had been asleep for half a year. The Second's selection and inauguration, the announcement of Hashirama's death, the funeral—

Tobirama had asked Diejian if there was anything he wanted among Hashirama's belongings. Diejian had replied that he didn't need anything.

Diejian's Chakra was still in disarray, and there was no sign he'd be discharged anytime soon.

His classmates from the ninja academy visited after school, helping him stay in touch with the outside world.

According to Sakumo, the school year was about to change, and the promotion exams were coming up soon.

Diejian folded his arms and let out a long, troubled "Hmm..."

"Your injuries were serious to begin with. There's no helping it. I'll help with your rehabilitation. Let's do our best together."

"Thanks. Sakumo, you'd make a good advisor someday."

"..."

"Hey! Diejian, how are you doing?"

"Oh, it's Choya. Still as noisy as ever."

"You're way noisier than me! Hahaha!"

"Hey, this is a hospital room. Keep it down."

"Ah, sorry, sorry."

The hospital-room door swung open, and a slightly chubby yet somewhat wild-looking boy appeared: Akimichi Choya.

He was Diejian's classmate at the ninja academy and one of his friends.

Choya belonged to a branch family of the Akimichi Clan, who possessed a secret technique passed down through the family that let them enlarge parts—or all—of their bodies several times over.

The Akimichi Clan's secret technique burned more calories than Chakra, so it suited them to keep a somewhat plump build.

It was important to remember that they weren't simply "fat."

After Sakumo reminded him, Choya obediently apologized.

He was rough and impulsive, but he wasn't a bad person.

"Here. A get-well gift."

What Choya pulled from his clothes was a magazine filled with photos of scantily clad women.

Diejian raised an eyebrow and snorted. Sakumo shrugged.

"What the hell did you bring?"

Diejian said it, but he was grinning mischievously.

"Don't want it? These are exactly your type. I swiped it from my dad's collection."

"I never said I didn't want it. But wouldn't it be bad if Tsunade found out?"

Diejian grabbed Choya's hand as he tried to tuck the magazine back into his clothes, stopping him.

Choya grinned and placed the magazine in Diejian's hand.

Sakumo laughed as if he couldn't believe them.

"What are you going to do with something like that? Tsunade comes to see you every day, doesn't she? She'll definitely find out. You'd better not take it."

"No, but this..."

"Suit yourself."

"Hmm..." Diejian frowned over it, then suddenly brightened.

"I could hide it with a Shadow Clone—" he muttered, only to deflate a moment later. "...Oh, right. I can't use ninjutsu yet..."

"Choya, that belongs to Diejian, doesn't it?"

"I know."

"You're way too casual about this."

Sakumo frowned and scolded Choya when he started munching on the fruit meant for Diejian's get-well gift.

But seeing how much Choya was enjoying it, Diejian stopped Sakumo. "It's fine."

He only added, "Just don't eat my peaches."

"Diejian, what are you holding?"

"Ah! Wow, did we come at a bad time? Sorry."

"Oh, my..."

"Yo, you three idiots are here."

"You're the idiots!"

"How about 'the Ino-Shika-Cho idiots'?"

"Am I an idiot too?"

Three girls had just come in.

From top to bottom, they were Inuzuka, Nara, and Hyuga—all children of prominent families in Konohagakure.

While Choya teased them and diverted their attention, Diejian quickly hid the magazine beneath his bedsheets.

"Um, isn't Ina here? I thought she'd be the first one to arrive."

Nara Rushika, a girl from the Nara Clan, which had close ties with Ina's family, looked around in puzzlement.

She was a rare girl who used masculine pronouns for herself.

"No, she isn't."

"Really? I wonder where she went. I was sure she'd be here."

As he peeled a mandarin, Sakumo told them Ina wasn't there.

Rushika pouted slightly and tilted her head, looking troubled.

"Huh? But over there—"

"Woof!"

A dog at the feet of the girl—Inuzuka Yaeha—barked.

The Inuzuka Clan used techniques that let them command special dogs known as Ninja Dogs.

Ninja Dogs were a general term for special dogs that could speak and use ninjutsu like ninja. The Inuzuka Clan was a unique clan that partnered with such dogs and fought alongside them.

"Yaeha, you shouldn't bring animals into a hospital room, should you?"

"Don't call him an animal! Kazemaru's my partner! We're always together!"

Although Choya called Yaeha's Ninja Dog, Kazemaru, an "animal," he grinned as he rubbed both of Kazemaru's cheeks.

Yaeha pulled Kazemaru away from Choya and held him protectively in her arms.

She glared at Choya with a threatening growl. Her actions were indescribably cute, completely at odds with her wild appearance and battle-ready makeup, and Diejian couldn't help smiling warmly.

"That's right, Yaeha. You and Kazemaru are always together. Don't mind me."

"Really? Thank you! Yay!"

Yaeha picked Kazemaru up and bounced him around in delight. Only after a while did she notice he looked dizzy, and she hurriedly laid him down on Diejian's bed.

"By the way, Diejian, what are you going to do? Will you make it in time?"

"Miss Yaeha, you left out the subject. You mean school, don't you, Mr. Diejian? The promotion exams are coming up soon..."

Yaeha had been stroking Kazemaru's belly as she pressed Diejian for an answer, but the composed Hyuga Kotori gently calmed her with a smile.

Her elegant bearing was obvious from that one gesture alone.

No wonder she came from one of Konoha's most prestigious families, Diejian thought.

"I told Sakumo too. It looks like rehabilitation is going to take quite a while."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. I need to get out of here soon if I want to become Hokage... or at least, that's what I'm thinking."

"You'd better hurry if you can. We're the first class of students. Even if there are special circumstances, it wouldn't look good to have someone repeat a year in the school's very first year."

"The Second is still in charge. He'll find a way, I'm sure."

"But the Second is different from the First. He's a strict person, isn't he? And he's not the type to show favoritism to his own people, either."

"No, I think the Second only looks stern. He's actually a kind person."

"Really? I don't think so."

Rushika and Sakumo started chatting among themselves, leaving Diejian out of it.

"I want to become Hokage too."

Diejian gave a wry smile at Rushika's ill-timed declaration, but he also frowned.

"Woof!" Kazemaru barked as well, as if he were throwing his hat into the ring.

"Oh, Yaeha. Are you declaring war on Diejian?"

"Huh? I never said I wanted to fight Diejian!"

"You idiot."

"You're the idiot!"

As soon as Choya and Yaeha started arguing, the hospital room grew noisy.

The children kept chatting and laughing until a nurse came in to scold them.

"My, my..."

—Incidentally, amid all the commotion, Kotori used the Byakugan, the Hyuga Clan's hereditary Dojutsu, and saw every detail of the magazine Diejian had hidden.

A little later, as the sky began to darken, Choya left the room, saying, "I'm hungry."

Kotori and Rushika went home next, as it was nearly curfew.

Sakumo and Yaeha were the only ones left, and before long, they too went home.

Alone in the quiet room, Diejian gazed up at the stars.

It was late at night.

—Knock, knock.

At the sound, Diejian turned his gaze toward the door.

He waited, but no one seemed to be coming in.

"Come in."

Diejian invited the visitor inside.

Come to think of it, he thought with a wry smile, this might have been the first time since he was hospitalized that someone had knocked properly before coming in.

"Ina... what are you doing here so late? Rushika was wondering where you'd gone."

The person who pushed open the door was none other than Yamanaka Ina, who had been absent that day.

Bathed in moonlight, the girl looked even more radiant than usual.

That purplish-red outfit looked lovely in the moonlight, Diejian thought.

Ina didn't answer him. She simply stared at him silently, without moving.

Diejian raised an eyebrow in puzzlement and looked back at her closely.

"What's wrong?"

Ina's footsteps went tap, tap as she came closer, still without saying a word.

Diejian felt uneasy.

"Those 'three idiots' Choya mentioned came to see me today."

"Really? That's nice."

Ina sat down beside Diejian's bed as if it were only natural, then looked over her shoulder at him.

Her fair skin seemed to shimmer in the moonlight.

"And Sakumo and Rushika split into the 'Grandpa's side' and 'Uncle Tobirama's side' and started arguing."

"Really? The two of them are completely different types, though. I can kind of understand it. Sakumo's on the Second's side, right?"

"Ah, you know them well."

"Of course. How long do you think I've been with you guys? Rushika's clan has ties with them, so it's obvious."

"That's true."

Diejian nodded, "Mm-hmm," and Ina smiled as if she found it amusing.

The familiar everyday moment warmed Diejian's heart.

Ina felt the same.

No—in the six months Diejian had spent asleep, Ina had treasured those moments more than anyone.

During the six months Diejian lay asleep, Ina came to visit him often, every day.

In that time, Ina got to know Diejian's younger sister, Tsunade, and his grandmother, Mito Uzumaki.

The three of them gradually grew close.

Ina had begun to find her guilt unbearable. She thought she had caused Diejian's death and indirectly brought about the death of Mito's husband, Hashirama.

At last, she confided those feelings to Mito—

Sakumo was the same.

To keep from making the same mistake again, to stop his comrades from falling into the abyss of death, he threw himself into reckless training.

Ina, who should have stopped him, was too preoccupied with visiting Diejian and her own frustration to pay him any attention at the time.

—To grow stronger.

With that thought in mind, Sakumo kept pushing himself through reckless training, until a man stopped him.

His name was Sasuke Sarutobi.

He was Sarutobi Hiruzen's father, one of the village's senior officials, and the current head of the Sarutobi Clan.

That was how Sasuke Sarutobi was able to introduce Sakumo, tormented by guilt, to Senju Tobirama, who had become the Second.

After hearing the situation from Sasuke Sarutobi, Tobirama reprimanded Sakumo for his reckless behavior up to that point, but forgave everything else.

However, when Sakumo tried to offer an explanation, Tobirama wouldn't let him speak.

Adults had their duties, and children had theirs.

Senju Hashirama—the former Hokage—had merely done what was perfectly natural and right: protected a child.

Protecting children—that was the very reason Senju Hashirama had created the organization called the "village." It was the original belief behind it.

To regard that as his own sin would mean not only rejecting Senju Hashirama, but also rejecting the village's Will of Fire—

Mito and Ina, Tobirama and Sakumo.

By a twist of fate, at almost the same time, both pairs were told the same thing.

Mito and Tobirama, who understood Hashirama better than anyone.

It was almost inevitable that these two would save Ina and Sakumo.

Sakumo was now spending his days diligently training under Sasuke Sarutobi's guidance.

Ina had become Mito's student, learning Sealing Jutsu and Medical Ninjutsu.

Diejian had no way of knowing how happy these two were when he woke up.

And so—

"Then, what's that?"

"Uh, oh, this? Chouya brought it when he came to visit. I told him not to, but he shoved it on me anyway."

"Oh—? Is that so?"

"Y-yeah. Oh, right, speaking of Chouya! Why does that guy always pick on Yaeha? Today, when I said I wanted to become Hokage, she joined in too—"

"Um, could you stop talking about that?"

—Ina was furious with the "present-day" Diejian.

"Huh?"

"I said, stop saying you want to become Hokage."

Diejian froze with a sudden smack.

But the next second, he gave a wry smile and shrugged as if to calm Ina down.

"Hey, hey, Ina. You know I want to become Hokage, right? You can't just suddenly tell me to give it up."

"You can't become Hokage as you are now."

"Ah—? What did you just say?"

Ina's words came in a cold tone that made it sound as though she couldn't care less—and a vein bulged at Diejian's temple.

Even so, Diejian held back and asked Ina again.

He reassured himself that there was no way Ina would reject his dream.

But Diejian's hopes were dashed—

"I can say it as many times as you want. You can't become Hokage."

"Ina!!"

Diejian slammed his hand on the bed and leaned forward, threatening her.

Ina had a habit of bursting into tears when someone yelled at her or spoke harshly to her.

Diejian knew that, yet he still raised his voice at Ina.

He didn't understand what that meant.

Even so, Ina didn't cry.

"Hokage this, Hokage that. Are you stupid or something?"

"You—!"

Diejian moved closer to Ina.

He grabbed her by the front of her clothes and lifted her off the ground.

Ina struggled, shoved Diejian away, stood up from the bed, and put some distance between them.

Diejian was pushed away as easily as a sheet of paper. He propped himself up with an elbow on the bed.

"Ina, you're making fun of the Hokage, making fun of my dream—"

"Then tell me why!!"

Diejian threatened Ina, who had her head bowed, his voice dripping with murderous intent.

But before he could finish, Ina's shout drowned him out.

Her voice was like a cry of anguish, as if she were hurling her own scream against the ground with all her might.

—Why wasn't she crying?

Faced with Ina like this, Diejian was simply confused about why she wasn't crying.

Unconsciously realizing that he had found Ina's weakness, Diejian couldn't believe this reaction was so unlike the Ina he knew.

Ina clenched the hem of her skirt.

—She's finally going to cry.

Diejian breathed a sigh of relief, thinking Ina had returned to normal.

Right, just like always.

This was the usual—

"You've got to be kidding me. A dream, you say? Fine. Then why are you using your dream as an excuse to wave that thing around?!"

"...Huh?"

Ina, who had kept her head bowed, lifted her face.

Tears glimmered in the moonlight.

The sight was so beautiful it seemed like a painting. Diejian held his breath, then felt relieved.

But he still didn't understand that these tears meant something entirely different from before.

"I know you idolize Lord Hashirama. Whenever you talk about Lord Hashirama, you always smile so happily."

—I used to love that smile of yours.

"It's obvious you want to become Hokage. Actually, everyone knows."

—But I knew there were some things you were too embarrassed to say aloud.

"You're not the kind of man who would use 'Hokage'—your dream—as an excuse!"

Ina knew that Diejian always carried the Forehead Protector Hashirama had given him.

She knew how badly he wanted to wear it, how badly he wanted to—but he held himself back, thinking he would wait until the day he became a Genin.

Even when there were children who openly said they wanted to become Hokage, Diejian simply quietly let his competitive spirit burn and worked to improve himself.

He didn't want anyone to know the dream he truly longed to achieve.

"Ina, I don't understand what you're saying. What's wrong...? Sorry, my rehabilitation hasn't been going very well, and I got a little frustrated. I hope you can forgive me."

The anger on Diejian's face gave way to concern for Ina.

Ina glared at him, her gaze sharp.

Diejian got off the bed and cautiously approached Ina, then apologized before her with his hands clasped as if in prayer.

But Ina understood.

She had seen it before.

The thing that hid everything—Diejian's "mask."

It had been when they were very young.

Ina had gone to a clan gathering with her father, the head of the Yamanaka Clan, and her older sister, who was next in line to become the head.

When Ina first saw that child's expression, she had even been afraid.

By the time they met again as classmates at the Ninja Training Academy, Diejian had completely changed.

Concerned, Ina hadn't needed long to become friendly with Diejian. After they had truly grown close, she noticed one day that he had a Forehead Protector even though he wasn't an official ninja yet.

"It was a gift from Grandpa. Keep it a secret, okay?"

When Ina asked about it, puzzled, Diejian had smiled as he said that.

The look on his face—both embarrassed and genuinely happy—and the way her heart had pounded in response were still vivid in Ina's memory.

The smile Diejian wore now wasn't the one Ina had been longing to see for the past six months.

"Oh, right. If you don't mind, could you help me with my rehabilitation exercises?"

"Sure. I'll help you."

"Really? Thanks."

Diejian smiled and returned to the bed.

Looking at that smile, Ina made up her mind.

She didn't care if he hated her.

No, it wasn't that she truly didn't care if he hated her.

But Ina was a woman of the Yamanaka Clan.

There was no way she could just watch Diejian force a smile behind a false mask—that kind of "passivity" wasn't in her nature.

Diejian lazily swung his legs onto the bed.

That completely defenseless back—Ina had already formed the hand seals.

Ninja Art: Mind Body Switch Technique.

Diejian fell onto the bed, and Ina slumped to the ground where she stood.

★

"Where is this...?"

A sky as murky red as burning flames, a beautiful land of lush woods bathed in light—and between them, a pure white, empty world.

This place, as though covered in glass, lay where the sky and earth met.

Was one side hell and the other heaven?

Ina looked around, searching for Diejian.

This was Diejian's mental world, which she had entered by using an application of the Mind Body Switch Technique.

If Diejian had been in a normal state, perhaps his enormous Chakra reserves would have repelled Ina. But his Chakra had now dwindled to the point where he couldn't even use the Clone Technique.

At this moment, Diejian was completely under Ina's control.

After walking a few steps, she saw Diejian crouching with his knees pulled to his chest.

Three chairs surrounded him.

"Diejian?"

At the sound of Ina's voice, Diejian's ears twitched slightly.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

Diejian didn't answer Ina's question.

"..."

"..."

Silence.

"Hey! Don't just hide in there!"

"...Leave me alone."

He only muttered that in response to Ina's shout.

"You're all tough on the outside, but such a coward on the inside?"

"Shut up."

At Diejian's angry reply, Ina thought that she'd been a fool to let him scare her earlier.

"Hey, come out. Everyone's waiting for you."

"No one's there. I'm all alone now."

A vein bulged at Ina's temple when she heard Diejian's words.

"Huh?! Are you serious? Don't joke around. Do you know how worried we've been about you?!"

"I never asked you to be."

"If you only act when someone asks you to, what kind of friend are you... Idiot."

Diejian, who had kept his face buried against his knees, lifted his head slightly.

"Hey, Diejian. Lord Hashirama was everything to you. You lost someone like Lord Hashirama—and you paid for it yourself... Your hand was trembling when I held it that day. I was so, so sad."

Ina spoke to the silent Diejian.

Sakumo and his friends at the Ninja Training Academy had been so worried about him.

His little sister Tsunade, his parents, and his grandmother had desperately hoped he would wake up.

Tobirama had spent a great deal of money behind the scenes arranging for medical ninja.

Even so, none of it could reach Diejian.

When he was at his most miserable, there had been many people by his side, but in the end, only Hashirama had saved him.

There had been only one person in the world who understood him.

And that one person had died because of him.

You're thinking, "Don't act like you understand," aren't you? But, you know, I understand a little. Because back then, I lost you too.

Diejian lifted his head.

What he saw was Ina's face, steeped in sorrow.

"Even now, I still remember what happened then. Your final moments. So, so... I'm really, really glad you're alive. I'm so—"

—glad.

This was a mental world.

Their thoughts, feelings, and emotions were conveyed to each other without a trace of deceit.

There was no use putting on a brave face.

There was no use dressing things up in pretty words.

They could see right through each other.

That was why Ina's words fell like a petal onto Diejian's heart-lake, sending ripples through his heart.

Diejian's origins lay in loneliness.

Born different from everyone else, he was consumed by an overwhelming sense of isolation.

Hashirama had been the one to stop it.

Hashirama's unconditional love for his family and his boundless capacity for acceptance had embraced even an oddity like Diejian.

The warmth that had filled him in his loneliness was so precious that no words could fully express it.

"Hey, Lord Hashirama was a great man. And he was so easygoing, too. Just like you."

The words Ina spoke with a little "hehe" reached Diejian's heart after all.

Even if he thought, Stop talking, it made no difference.

But if Diejian truly wanted her to stop, Ina would.

Deep down, he knew the truth of that at once.

That was what it came down to.

Ina continued.

"Hey, what good does it do to be frustrated? What good does it do to blame yourself? Lord Hokage entrusted you with his 'dream' precisely because you're you, didn't he?"

"Don't act like you understand..."

"That's right. I'm acting like I understand. So, since you know Lord Hokage very, very well—surely you can tell whether I really do understand or not, can't you?"

She had hit the mark.

That was right.

Diejian had always chased after Hashirama's back.

There was no way he didn't understand.

There was no way he didn't understand the feelings behind Hashirama giving up his life for Diejian...

Even so, by blaming himself and retreating into his shell, Diejian had fled from the reality that his grandfather was gone.

The mere loneliness of having no grandfather terrified him.

He had put on a false mask, wanting only to chase after the "position" called Hokage.

He wanted only to chase after the "surface" of Hashirama's words.

The "Will of the Hokage" was far too vast and heavy for him to inherit on his own.

Had Hashirama misjudged Diejian?

He shouldn't have told Diejian what it meant to be "Hokage" that day.

Diejian had thought he couldn't do it.

He had suffered over how small and inadequate he was, unable to regard everyone as family.

He had believed himself to be alone.

And Diejian had been wrong, too.

"Hey, Diejian. I'm not going to tell you to look forward. And I'm not going to tell you to become stronger."

Because even I was saved by Lady Mito.

Ina's words had reached the depths of Diejian's heart after all.

And Diejian no longer wanted to stop them.

"I don't know much about Lord Hokage. But I know you very well, because we've always been together, and I've always watched you. You're a gentle person who dotes on his little sister and his grandfather, is domineering and selfish, gets embarrassed easily but loves showing off, likes gambling and bonsai and has an old man's hobbies, and never backs down. So..."

Please don't say you're all alone.

Ina gently embraced Diejian.

A memory swept through Diejian's mind: the time Hashirama had given him his Forehead Protector on Face Rock.

After that, Grandpa lied and said he'd lost it, and Uncle Tobirama gave him an earful.

One memory and thought after another welled up inside him.

The heart he had tried to freeze began to melt in Ina's warmth.

Yes, what he should follow was Hashirama's example—the kindness in his bearing, the heart behind it.

The thing his great grandfather had entrusted to him was what he ought to be proudest of.

Only now did Diejian truly understand that.

On Diejian's forehead, a Forehead Protector appeared—in this spiritual world.

Once, Hashirama had entrusted Diejian with his Forehead Protector—with the Will of Fire.

What Hashirama had wanted to tell Diejian then was: You're not alone. Everyone in the village is family.

But Diejian had seen only Hashirama as family, and found temporary salvation in that.

That could also be called dependence.

And he had once thought that if someone was "Hashirama's family," then they were his companions, too.

Diejian had been wrong.

He had misjudged no one but himself.

Hashirama had not been wrong.

When Diejian strayed from the path, there would be companions by his side, rushing to him.

Ina's feelings had reached Diejian.

And not only Ina's feelings.

During the six months Diejian had been unconscious, he had felt all the worry and agitation of the people Ina had seen fretting over him.

Saying he was alone—refusing to let him curl up in his shell like that—was infinitely kind, but also stern.

Memories of the past.

In the end, what remained was the figure of Hashirama, deeply etched into his heart.

Now, let us grieve.

Let us accept that Grandfather has passed away, mourn the loss of that great man, and grieve his departure.

Not to lament the fate of being left alone—but to remember the beloved family he had lost.

"Thank you..."

Ina said nothing. She only held Diejian tighter.

It was as if that were her answer.

A drop of warm liquid fell onto Ina's skin.

In Ina's arms, a little boy trembled silently, all by himself.