Weakness and Strength

The mission lasted two days, without sleep or rest. It was only after we slaughtered the final wave of Sunagakure shinobi attempting to sneak from the Land of Rain into the Land of Fire that we received the order to retreat.

I was exhausted, teetering on the very edge of collapse.

Because the disparity in our strength was too great, I had barely been of any help, merely finishing off a few lingering souls gasping their last breaths under the blade.

Yet, the exhaustion of the spirit could never be recovered by rest alone. I huddled in the damp thicket alongside Kusama Shigeo, both of us sitting like two soulless puppets.

Murasame was clutched in my hand; the dried blood on the blade was so thick that even the rain could not wash it away.

"Akatsuki, it is time to return."

Amidst the curtain of rain, I could sense someone standing beside me, but I truly lacked the strength to respond, so I merely kept my head bowed, unwilling to acknowledge them.

A dark figure leaned in close. I felt something pressed to my lips, and a bitter, icy object was fed into my mouth—it tasted like some sort of herbal pill.

"Bite it open and swallow."

I resisted fiercely, but I was held in a grip so firm I could not move, leaving me no choice but to comply. As I bit down, waves of warmth radiated through my body; chakra flooded my meridians and soothed my near-shattered mind.

"What is this?" I felt my entire body warming up as I was hauled to my feet, swaying unsteadily.

"This is a military ration pill unique to the Military Headquarters. I developed it myself, and it is supplied only to my own people."

Orochimaru handed over a bamboo tube filled with various colored pills.

"This batch is specifically for you. Use it well."

I did not want it, but the item had already been shoved into my hand. Orochimaru reached out as if to pat my head, but I dodged him. He merely smiled, withdrew his hand, turned, and flicked a kunai that pinned itself at Kusama Shigeo's feet, saying coldly—

"Get up. Do you wish to die here?"

A starkly different attitude.

On the way back, I continued to drag behind at the tail end of the squad. The wind and rain lashed down coldly, the forest blurred past, and the journey felt as wearying as if it were endless.

I rubbed my dry, stinging eyes and pulled out a ration pill to eat. As I bit into it, the sour and bitter taste flooded my mouth, triggering a flow of saliva that suppressed my hunger while causing the chakra within me to surge wildly.

I turned to look; Kusama Shigeo no longer possessed the high spirits he had when we set out. He leaped beside me, utterly exhausted, his short brown hair soaked through and his clothes stained with blood, looking completely wretched.

It had only been two days, yet he seemed like a different person.

Of course, I was the same.

When faced with true death, the petty grievances of the academy felt like child's play, almost even tinged with a sense of warmth.

After traveling day and night to return to the Military Headquarters, I had lost all sense of time. The sky remained a hazy gray, though the rain had stopped, leaving the air filled with a damp, cold scent.

I felt physically drained, yet I kept my eyes wide open, forcing myself to stay alert. This troop remained exactly as it had been when we departed; everyone was still like a drawn blade, only now they were stained with a bit of rainwater.

They were the true shinobi.

I took a deep breath, feeling my lungs slowly expand, the nasal cavity filled with the scent of earth. Just as I was steadying my breathing, a sudden wave of dizziness struck. My legs went weak, and I collapsed uncontrollably!

Panic flared in my heart, and I instinctively reached out toward Kusama Shigeo, grabbing him hard to keep from falling to the ground.

Damn it, if I fell here, it would be a massive humiliation!

I struggled to maintain my balance, fighting the dizziness while trying to straighten my legs, all the while pinching Kusama Shigeo's arm hard to warn the brat not to move, completely failing to notice that something was wrong.

My vision was still blurred when, suddenly, an icy voice pierced down from above, carrying such a chill that it seeped straight into my heart.

"Let go."

He said.

The voice was utterly unfamiliar, yet so close that I could feel the vibration of his body as he spoke.

I looked up in a daze, and abruptly, I met a pair of eyes.

They were white eyes.

The person in front of me wore the uniform of the Military Headquarters, the lower half of his face covered by a deep black mask, revealing only a pair of eyes devoid of any emotion, staring down at me.

We were so close that I could see his pupils were pure white. They were beautiful, yet they held none of the expressions a human should have; they were as still and lifeless as a dead object.

I was stung by that gaze and jolted into alertness. I held my breath and took a step back, bumping into the dazed Kusama Shigeo on my left—

"What are you doing?" His voice was laced with malice, his disgust for me not diminished in the slightest.

Only then did it dawn on me, belatedly, that I... I had grabbed the wrong person?

I was stunned for a moment, my heart hammering against my ribs, and I quickly apologized, "I'm sorry, Senior! I just—"

I wanted to explain, but he did not give me the time to speak, merely repeating himself once more.

"Let go."

—Still as cold as ice.

I looked up, but his expression had not changed in the slightest from beginning to end. He looked at me as if he were looking at a corpse, a dead man, a useless thing.

—And never as a teammate.

Just like the gazes of everyone in the Military Headquarters.

All around, many eyes gathered here—mocking, cold, and devoid of any goodwill.

My heart stung as if pierced, and I took a step back, loosening my grip, my mouth opening, yet unable to utter a single word.

"Although this was a mission commissioned by the Anbu, everyone performed well, especially the two newcomers; you have grown quite quickly."

Orochimaru's hoarse voice drifted from the front, breaking the deathly silence at the tail end of the squad.

"Well then... thank you all for your hard work. The mission ends here. Dismissed."

Following the conclusion of the captain's words, the Black Swallows of the Military Headquarters bowed their heads slightly and scattered in an instant, vanishing within a few breaths.

The person in front of me had also disappeared.

On the cold, vast training ground, Kusama Shigeo and I looked at the approaching Orochimaru, both of us having switched to respectful titles in unison.

"How does it feel for your first mission?" Orochimaru's tone was very gentle, yet Kusama Shigeo and I both felt a chill run down our spines.

"We have disappointed you, Teacher."

"Hehe... your relatives entrusted me with your care, so I must put in the effort to ensure I do not let them down." He approached us with a smile. "I also hope you will grow up quickly and become ninjas capable of standing on your own."

Words are useless when teaching others; only experience leaves a lasting mark.

Compared to Uchiha Fugaku, Orochimaru's guidance was undoubtedly more cruel, yet more effective.

I lifted my bloodshot eyes, looking at Orochimaru with a very complex expression.

However, I still hated this method!

"You two should go back and rest as well; you've worked hard these past few days." He stood between us and patted me, the warmth of his palm slowly seeping through my shoulder.

"Wait for me here tomorrow morning."

I looked up and realized this sentence was directed solely at me.

"Yes, Teacher."

He glanced at my dejected form and suddenly asked, "Is there any burden in killing, Akatsuki?"

My breathing hitched, and I felt a surge of heat pass behind my eyes. I clenched my fists tightly and shook my head, saying, "No burden."

"As enemies, they deserved to die."

After returning to the assigned dormitory, exhaustion and dizziness surged up together. I practically collapsed onto the bed and fell asleep within moments.

When I woke up again, it was the middle of the night.

I propped my body up and went to the bathroom, where the ninja tools and clothes I had tossed aside upon entering were piled up, stained with mud and blood, emitting a pungent, fishy odor.

Looking at those scattered bloodstains, I suddenly felt a wave of nausea. Soon, this sickness surged uncontrollably from my stomach, rising straight to my head.

I vomited violently in the bathroom, snot and tears streaming down my face, which for a moment liberated me from my facade of strength.

I could recall the soft sound of Murasame slicing through flesh, the tip of the blade piercing blood vessels and heart in an instant, followed by the twisting of the blade, thoroughly shredding every organ and tissue that still held life...

As the blade was withdrawn, fresh blood sprayed out instantly, and a corpse fell to the ground just like that... At this moment, the boundary between life and death was exceptionally clear.

Those were lives extinguished by my own hands.

At the mere thought of this, I retched incessantly, my heart contracting in waves.

Shisui... you were right, I shouldn't have come to the battlefield... I don't want to do this... I don't want to kill...

My thin, small frame leaned powerlessly against the bathroom wall, two tear tracks dried and stuck beneath my swollen eyes. The blood remaining on Murasame was the undeniable evidence of my sin.

Even if a ninja is a tool, it is a blood-stained tool.

Coming from a peaceful world, I was still too weak. Because I had experienced the warmth of peace in my previous life, whether I liked it or not, I was forced to be bound by that ridiculous conscience and morality, forced to retain a final shred of reverence for life.

This would undoubtedly make me suffer all the more.

Shisui... I have now truly tasted this pain.

I sobbed uncontrollably until I had no strength left, then fell into a deep sleep amidst the pile of damp, cold clothes.

"Senior Shisui?" Zi Luochun looked in surprise at Uchiha Shisui, who had climbed onto the tree branch. "It's not time for the shift change yet, right? Shouldn't you rest a bit more?"

"You go and rest. I'll take the second half of the night."

After days of panic, only battle and the cold wind could allow Uchiha Shisui to calm down temporarily. When facing the enemy, his strikes became increasingly ruthless, and once his signature "Phantom Body Flicker Technique" was activated, it was enough to make the enemy lose the will to fight. A new star was slowly rising in the ninja world.

But Zi Luochun did not leave; instead, she sat on the treetop beside Shisui, her gaze gentle as she said shyly, "Thank you, Senior, but I'm not sleepy yet."

This was a chance to be alone—

This realization made Zi Luochun's heart race. She tested the waters, inching closer to Uchiha Shisui, the first time she had been this close to the boy who had captured her heart.

Under the starlight, the boy's profile was clearly clean, yet it was always shrouded in something she couldn't see through, which piqued Zi Luochun's curiosity.

"What is Senior thinking about?"

Silence.

A long silence stretched between them, so long that Zi Luochun began to think she would never hear an answer, before Shisui finally spoke.

"I have a friend who went to the battlefield. He is only six years old."

"Is that so..." Having grown up as she had, Zi Luochun had experienced her fair share of hardship. "That must be agonizing."

It would certainly be agonizing.

Because he knew exactly what kind of child Akatsuki was. To force someone like that to endure the purgatory of the battlefield was an unimaginable pain; he wished he could bear it all in his stead.

Never had Uchiha Shisui loathed war as he did in this moment, nor had he ever yearned for peace with such intensity.

He looked up, the night before him crystal clear. The starlit sky, washed clean by the rain, shone with a brilliant luster. Starlight spilled over the shadows of the trees, and a cold breeze brushed past his ears, seeping into his nose and chest, yet he felt no chill.

Alone as he was, he had never imagined that one day he would be standing on the battlefield, watching over someone from afar.

So, this was what it meant to have a bond—it truly made one no longer alone.

So, the conviction for peace born from the desire to protect someone was far more powerful than the strength derived from upholding peace in solitude.

Uchiha Shisui stood up, his robes fluttering in the night wind.

For the sake of the peace to come, he had to become stronger, even stronger still.

That day would surely come.

The young man's silhouette was etched into Zi Luochun's eyes. She could see his worry, and it made her own heart ache.

It seemed this was the matter that had been troubling her senior these past few days.

To care so much—just who could this friend be?

"But, since he is a friend of Shisui-senpai, he must be a very remarkable person. Even if he is just a child, he won't be easily broken, right?" Zi Luochun said with a smile.

"Yes, he is a very strong person."

Shisui looked at Zi Luochun, his eyes softening for the first time.