This Year's Flood Was the Water in Your Brain (Revised)
Liu Chang'an pulled Bai Hui out of the flower bed. This narrow flower bed was originally meant to isolate the underpass and prevent pedestrians from accidentally falling in. Bai Hui's head and shoulders were already sticking out, hanging there empty space. Her arms and legs were outstretched, grabbing wildly. Looking at the underpass below, she was startled herself.
"These two people must have been watching you ever since you withdrew money from the bank." Liu Chang'an gently patted Bai Hui's little face, which was covered in grass leaves. "Are you just a pretty face? Even a pretty face needs to be good-looking to have a promising career. Look at you, not only are you average-looking, but you're also not very bright, and you're always trying to fill your head with water. If I hadn't grabbed you just now, you would have fallen in, and with a thud, some water might have spilled out, Yellow River out like a spectacular sight, causing drainage problems in Junsha, leading to public criticism and boiling resentment. Can I report that it's all water in your brain?"
Bai Hui blankly at Liu Chang'an. She had never been insulted like this before. Was she not pretty? At least... at least everyone except Liu Chang'an said she was a cute and beautiful girl. But at this moment, she was not in the mood to argue with Liu Chang'an, who was calmly chatting and laughing. She tightly clutched her chest, trying to calm her pounding heart.
"These... these two people... they... they've been watching me for so... so long?" Bai Hui stammered again. The thought of someone watching her, looking for an opportunity to rob her, and maybe even sexually assault her, wasn't impossible. After all, she was so cute and had such big breasts, it was perfectly normal for bad guys to lose control of their evil thoughts. It was terrifying.
"There aren't any of those two people in Starbucks. I only noticed them at the bank, how would they know you had money in your bag?"
"Then... then they must have seen it in the bank... in the bank. They'll be caught on camera in the bank. They even tried to rob me. They'll definitely be caught very, very soon... didn't they expect that?" Bai Hui peeked over and looked down at the bridge arch in surprise.
"If everyone could accurately grasp the risks and rationally control themselves, how could there be so much chaos in this world?" Liu Chang'an shook his head.
Liu Chang'an's words always made a lot of sense. Bai Hui was still shaken. She had originally planned to take a taxi, but those two men would definitely have followed her. After getting off the taxi at her house, she would have to walk a long way, and she probably would have been robbed then. She didn't want to think about it.
Bai Hui breathed heavily, clutching her chest tightly, her breaths rising and falling in rhythm with her gasps.
"Foolish woman," Liu Chang'an clicked his tongue in disapproval. "Vanity is nothing, because vanity can cost you your life... But judging from the mindset and accountability of rural feminists, the two robbers are definitely at fault, you're not at fault, it's your right and freedom. Hmm, I think so too."
"You're just going to throw these two people down like that, won't you get hurt?" Bai Hui ignored Liu Chang'an's sarcasm. She was more or less used to it, and besides, she was feeling ashamed and scared right now. She didn't have the confidence to refute Liu Chang'an, so she could only change the subject by worrying about him. Yes, that's all.
"In the first scenario, both of them are dead, so there's no problem, since there are no security cameras here. In the second scenario, one is dead and the other is alive, so the surviving person will definitely run away. They won't testify that they and their teammate were robbing someone and then someone threw them off the bridge and they died; the dead person will naturally be assumed to have accidentally fallen from above. In the third scenario, neither of them is dead, so there's even less of a problem," Liu Chang'an said nonchalantly.
Bai Hui hurriedly grabbed Liu Chang'an again, and leaned over to peek. The two thieves under the bridge had both stood up, so they were not dead. Bai Hui was immediately indignant and started grabbing at the flowerbed, throwing clods of soil and branches down to hit them.
The two petty thieves scrambled to their feet and, staggering, hastily climbed over the railing and ran away.
A petty thief was caught on a scooter while trying to climb over it. He rolled over and landed on the ground. The scooter driver was startled and, seeing the thief struggling to get up, sped away.
Witnessing all of this, Bai Hui nervously gripped Liu Chang'an's arm.
"According to current laws, regulations, and the system of liability division, you frightened this guy, causing the accident, so you bear a large part of the responsibility." Liu Chang'an gently pried her hands open and said, "Alright, we're in the same boat now. No, you're the grasshopper, and I'm the one holding the rope tying it up."
Bai Hui looked around in a panic, then grabbed Liu Chang'an again and ran away, howling as she ran.
After running quite a distance, Bai Hui peeked out from behind a newsstand. Liu Chang'an had no idea what the point of her furtive actions was.
"Won't we get arrested?" Bai Hui didn't want to be arrested; she hadn't yet strolled down the street with her beloved Hermès bag, feeling the envious and jealous looks from other women.
"How could I be arrested? I've killed countless people, and nothing's happened to me." Liu Chang'an shook his head and glanced at Bai Hui's delicate and slender neck.
"Would you kill me to silence me?" Bai Hui had just thought of this when Liu Chang'an seemed to really have the air of someone who would kill someone to silence them.
"I'll dig a cellar, lock you up, and release you after a few decades when things have calmed down." Liu Chang'an thought for a moment, then nodded in agreement.
"You... you're kidding, right?" Bai Hui tried hard to keep her smile from distorting, because she felt her face was already contorted.
"Well, actually I haven't raised pigs in a long time."
"Ugh! You scared me to death!" Bai Hui jumped up, laughing and crying at the same time as she punched Liu Chang'an.
Liu Chang'an pressed down on her forehead and pushed her away. Bai Hui waved her arms and legs but couldn't reach him. Liu Chang'an was already much taller than her, not to mention he had practiced the Seedling-Pulling Technique.
"They're gone."
Liu Chang'an gave Bai Hui a slight push, flicked her forehead with his finger, and turned to leave. He wasn't her protector, and with no thieves watching, she could just take a taxi home herself.
Bai Hui stood under the streetlight, touched her forehead, and suddenly laughed. She thought her own laughter sounded a little silly. Bai Hui looked at Liu Chang'an's back, the emotions in her eyes like his shadow under the streetlight, sometimes long, sometimes short, rising and falling.
The place was very close to the river. Liu Chang'an smelled the river breeze and slowly walked to the riverbank. He followed the riverside scenery to a bridge and then walked back to his home.
The mahjong parlor was naturally closed, which made Liu Chang'an slightly disappointed. He had been in the mood for a game of mahjong today, and the old folks had just received some kind of consolation money, so he figured they wouldn't be too unreasonable if he lost. If he won big, they should be able to negotiate and pay half of it. But it wasn't impossible for them to run away with the mahjong tiles if they went crazy.
Interesting.
Liu Chang'an took a shower and planned to lecture Shangguan Dandan on political science and "Covering the Sky" again tonight. He wanted to tell her a lot of stories and make sure to cut off the chapter at crucial points to force her to speak again. What Liu Chang'an was hoping for right now was to get her out of this coffin. This young girl was so beautiful and full of life; if she lay there all day, wasn't she afraid of getting moles on her buttocks? That would ruin the image of a beautiful woman.