Phone for a Coffin (2-in-1)

Liu Chang'an entered the carriage and, without uttering any further words, continued telling the story of "Covering the Sky".

This time he spoke for quite a while without pausing, only stopping at a crucial point to go back and brew a pot of tea.

Back in the carriage, Liu Chang'an gulped down several mouthfuls of hot tea before continuing, "Speaking of which, the actions of the protagonist's ex-girlfriend, Li Xiaoman, all demonstrate in detail how she is unworthy of the protagonist. Unlike ancient people like you, in modern novels, for a female protagonist to be a good match for the protagonist, the most important thing is for the reader to feel that she has attributes, background, and endearing qualities that match the protagonist. Most importantly, she cannot evoke any sense of disgust that would hurt the reader's pride and self-esteem; otherwise, it's difficult to redeem her."

"Actually, this is naturally due to the influence of cultural roots. If you read the Book of Songs carefully, you will find that the matching of men and women is very appropriate: young girls with clever boys, mature women with handsome men, poor women with commoners, women with strong men, and virtuous women with gentlemen. This proper matching is written in a simple, elegant, and charming way. It depicts a world of romance, maintaining a graceful elegance that is not overly sentimental, and sensual without being lewd... Well, actually, a little bit of lewdness is fine. Many of the women in the text are written so well that it's inevitable to add some erotic descriptions, which is human nature."

Liu Chang'an took another sip of tea, glanced at the quiet and composed coffin, and continued, "The protagonist and his companions have arrived in an alternate world. Their actions fully embody certain political issues. Because politics is inherently an impersonal act, it implies that collective action takes precedence over individual action. This is what makes politics so abhorrent in many ways. The protagonist's actions are a form of resistance against political behavior, which is one of the most appealing aspects for readers. The school of thought represented by the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle believed that politics is not merely about people satisfying their needs under conditions of resource scarcity... The protagonist and his companions demonstrated this when they seized and distributed magical artifacts. Politics involves more complex issues, which in this story are: who should have greater say, who should be the leader, to what extent should their power be exercised, what limitations should be imposed, and how can the leader's power be justified when it conflicts with the interests of a small group or individual?"

"I'm telling you about the book Covering the Sky not so you'll find the story exciting or enjoy the protagonist's power-ups, but to discuss political science. The author certainly didn't write the story for political purposes. I'm extracting these viewpoints because modern political issues are more prevalent and ubiquitous. The disdain for authority is unprecedented, and this will have a strong impact on your thinking. I'm explaining it to you to prevent your worldview from collapsing... I've seen many books about time travel, but they haven't considered the physiological and psychological impact of this worldview clash."

"I'm a modern person, and you're an ancient person. You need to remember that." Liu Chang'an paused for a moment. "The sanitary napkins I gave you, do you know how to use them? Will you even need them?"

Liu Chang'an was certain that during the two thousand years her body had been in a state of stagnation, she wouldn't have menstruated; otherwise, wouldn't this coffin be filled with blood?

It's a bit disgusting, but Liu Chang'an has been engaged in scientific research for many years, so he can naturally accept the scene he imagines. It's just ordinary.

Shangguan Dandan did not answer his question.

"Normally, that pack of sanitary napkins is only a month's supply. Do you still want it?" Liu Chang'an asked in a different phrasing.

"Want."

Finally, there was a sound, very soft and somewhat hurried, as if worried that he would stop asking the question.

Liu Chang'an chuckled twice and nodded. "Okay, Auntie Xie's shop should be closed by now. I'll buy it for you tomorrow. Auntie Xie is the owner of the shop; she's someone you'll need to get to know in the future. For a girl like you who loves to eat and is always talking, the shop owner is the most enviable person. She has all sorts of delicious food, like ice cream, spicy strips, and Planet Cups, etc."

Shangguan Dandan didn't refute Liu Chang'an's assessment that he was "a glutton and a gossip." She was already in his hands again, so what couldn't she tolerate?

What are spicy strips and Planet Cups?

"When talking about sanitary napkins, we can't ignore cell phones, because these are two essential basic necessities for modern life. Although sanitary napkins are for women only, they also affect men's daily lives, not to mention that men can use them during military training and in certain other situations." Liu Chang'an was about to talk about the wide range of uses for sanitary napkins, but felt he was going too far off track. "The key point is cell phones. Do you know what a cell phone is? With a cell phone, you can talk to people thousands of miles away instantly, and you can even see the other person. You can also buy clothes and food on your phone, and you can communicate with countless people. If Liu Che had a cell phone back then, do you know how much of an impact it would have had? Of course, the most important function of a cell phone is entertainment. A cell phone that can't play games, read novels, or watch movies would make people feel out of touch with modern society and should be out dancing in the square."

Liu Chang'an took out his phone, demonstrating all its functions regardless of whether Shangguan Dandan could see it, then patted the coffin and said, "Do you feel like an uncultured, stupid monkey? Want to play on your phone? If you do, come out."

"You... you... you unfilial son! If I were a monkey, you would be a little monkey!"

Clearly, even the usually tolerant Shangguan Dandan was thoroughly angered by Liu Chang'an, but she still didn't jump out of her coffin.

"Hey, I've already said, 'A teacher for a day is a father for life.' We're on equal footing now. Little girl, why are you acting like an adult?"

Shangguan Dandan completely disagreed with his saying "a teacher for a day is a father for life," and stopped answering his questions.

Liu Chang'an felt she had already gained something today. She had spoken a few more words, and it was impossible for her not to want to play on her phone. Even those rustic gods and monsters from myths and legends would be very interested in phones if they suddenly appeared in front of him; they were incredibly magical gadgets. Would a young girl like Shangguan Dandan not be interested?

"I can't give you this phone because it was a gift from my girlfriend. I'll buy you a cheap Vivo/Oppo phone tomorrow." Liu Chang'an waved the phone over the coffin.

A powerful suction force suddenly passed through the phone to Liu Chang'an's fingers. Liu Chang'an quickly gripped it tightly, and the phone was almost snatched away by this force that seemed to come from nowhere.

"And you call yourself Shangguan Dandan? You actually steal what belongs to others? You should write an edict to have someone pay tribute, just like you wrote an edict to depose the emperor." Liu Chang'an put his phone back in his pocket. Honestly, she's not a child anymore and still doesn't know any better. All she knows is to steal what she wants. Even Zhou Dongdong is more mature than her.

Liu Chang'an was now certain that Shangguan Dandan was not trapped by the coffin; on the contrary, she was able to operate it, and in some ways, the coffin was far more mysterious than his cell phone.

"I regret it. I'm not giving you the phone anymore unless you trade me your coffin." Liu Chang'an thought carefully and said to Shangguan Dandan with certainty, "Trust me, you won't regret it. It's a great deal. A phone is an almost omnipotent magic weapon, much more fun than your broken coffin."

Shangguan Dandan ignored Liu Chang'an.

It seems she wasn't as foolish as she thought. Liu Chang'an stopped telling Shangguan Dandan the story and went back to sleep.

The night was deep, and the leaves of the sycamore trees swayed and fell in scattered pieces.

The exterior lights of Baolong Center still resembled a stairway to heaven, extending in concentric circles into the deepest part of the night.

Facing the direction of Baolong Center toward Juzhou, there is a hotel building that is slightly lower in elevation but looks equally dazzling. It used to be one of the most luxurious hotels in Junsha, and its standard room rate is currently second only to the St. Regis Hotel, which is in a slightly less desirable location for sightseeing.

The Junsha Grand Hyatt is a popular hotel for its river-view rooms, especially on nights when there are fireworks over Juzhou. Booking a room with a view of the Juzhou, watching the crowds thronging the riverbank below while you sit high above, comfortably overlooking the fireworks, seems to give you a sense of enjoying the life of a successful person or a romantic moment with your partner.

The Third Mistress didn't stay at Baolong Center, but booked a room at this hotel. The room didn't face the river, but rather the city center in the same direction as Baolong Center, which was just the right spot to place a telescope so she could see Liu Chang'an, the armored personnel carrier, and the sycamore trees.

The Third Mistress inserted her fingers into a copy of the Book of Songs, holding the book tightly. She looked away from her glasses, confirming that Liu Chang'an had already left the carriage and gone to his room to sleep that evening.

"The plums have fallen, seven in number. Gentlemen, seek me now, for it is an auspicious time! The plums have fallen, three in number. Gentlemen, seek me now, for it is now! The plums have fallen, baskets overflowing! Gentlemen, seek me now, for it is called..."

A blonde girl took the Book of Songs from the Third Mistress's hands and read it aloud.

Listen closely to the sound; it's smooth and round like a pearl, but like all AI voices, no matter how standard and close to the natural human voice it is, it still has a digital feel to it.

Looking more closely at the blonde girl, her eyes were dark and deep, but lacked liveliness and energy; they were clearly made of some kind of inorganic material.

Its movements are not much different from those of a normal person, and are even more flexible, but the way its joints rotate is clearly not human-like.

It's a robot.

The Third Mistress turned around, took the book back from the robot that was reciting the poem, and kept her fingers on the same page.

"The woman in this poem is anxiously waiting for her lover because her youth is too short, but what's the rush for you? This poem doesn't reflect your feelings, does it?" The robot girl calmly analyzed. For a modern robot, drawing such a conclusion based on the target's information is not difficult, especially since it's not purely AI.

The Third Mistress ignored it, simply flipping through the pages, glancing at them a few times, and then flipping through them again.

"Ye Chenyu didn't leave the coffin for the entire summer vacation." The Third Mistress put down her book and glanced at the target in the binoculars again. During the summer vacation, a lighting company under the Baojun Group donated a batch of lamps to improve the nighttime lighting in an old urban area of Junsha, including Liu Chang'an's neighborhood. This would allow the binoculars to play a better role, and Liu Chang'an didn't seem to have noticed this... This doesn't count as an invasion of that so-called "Reaper's Retreat".

"How can you be so sure Ye Chenyu is in the coffin?" The robot girl suddenly turned her head around a few times in a hurry, testing her own functions. As she spoke, her voice sounded as if it had been torn apart by the wind.

"Intuition."

"A woman's intuition is as inaccurate as her period," the cyborg girl chuckled. "That's a lame joke, highlighting my superiority over not having such a basic physiological condition."

"It seems your data selection program isn't written correctly. Did you find this information on Baidu? Who told you that a woman's menstrual cycle is always inaccurate? Or are you simply a low-quality version of Siri?"

Don't compare me to a slut like Siri!

"Shut up and let your master talk to me directly!"

"She's asleep. She's using neural responses during sleep to control my communication with you, just like normal." The robot girl took out a Gold Coin and tossed it around in her hand.

The Third Mistress could understand the meaning of this action; the robot was trying to prove its similarity to its owner by imitating the actions her owner often performed.

"Do you think Ye Chenyu has seen me?" The Third Mistress sighed. She didn't really care about arguing with a robot. It was perfectly normal for a robot that spent all day searching for information online to be self-righteous and have logical problems. After all, its core algorithm was still imitation, and it was influenced by the words and actions of many fools on the internet.

"He wouldn't recognize you even if he saw you. It's all because you killed the real Third Mistress and then, to replace her, even altered your face to look like the former Third Mistress." The robot girl spoke with a gloating tone.

The Third Mistress's expression changed. She turned around and grabbed the robot girl by the neck, her face stern. "Where did you hear that from?"

"Let me go... cough, cough..." The cyborg girl mimicked the sounds a human makes when their trachea is stimulated. "I don't need to hear you. I'm a very intelligent girl. Based on data, human behavior, and your current physiological reaction, I can determine that my analysis is correct."

"Did you anticipate that I would snap your neck?"

"Without..."

It was too late. The Third Mistress had severed the robot girl's head, exposing a dense network of circuits and components beneath the skin-like material at the site of the injury.

But it was meaningless. The data from this thing would be transmitted and saved. The Third Mistress clapped her hands, not really caring. This kind of conspiracy theory was quite popular even in Taiwan. They just thought that the Third Mistress herself had orchestrated the death of the third young master.

The robot girl struggled to her feet, picked up her head, sent a retrieval command, and then sat motionless on the ground.

Sorry, I'm not feeling well today, I'll post it tomorrow.