Eating Shit
Liu Chang'an and An Nuan parted ways again at the platform in front of the School of Biology. Liu Chang'a Nuan back at An Nuan; it seemed he wouldn't see her skipping around in shorts and canvas shoes for a while. Why do men find women's legs so alluring and sexy? Logically, legs are just a means of walking, not a secondary sexual characteristic. Or is it related to the theorem that two non-parallel lines in the same plane must have one and only one point of intersection?
Thinking of math, Liu Chang'an thought of Gao Dewei, so he sent him a message asking if he was adapting well to military training. Gao Dewei said he had already lost five pounds in two days, but Miao Yingying always wanted to go out with him, which affected Gao Dewei studies. He was currently very enthusiastic about university life; his dorm was full of talented people, and everyone was very interesting. He planned to introduce Miao Yingying to one of his most fun-loving classmates so he could have more time to go to the library, which was much better than Affiliated High School high school library.
Liu Chang'an expressed his agreement.
On the way, Liu Chang'an saw an ant carrying a grain of rice with difficulty. Liu Chang'an squatted down and smelled it to locate the ant's nest. He picked up the ant and placed it near the nest. As a result, the ant lost its scent marker and, after being confused for a while, finally sensed the location of the nest and continued on its way.
This incident perfectly illustrates that even if someone offers guidance on the path of life, one must still have their own direction in order to stay true to their original aspirations.
When Liu Chang'an returned to the military training ground, almost everyone had arrived. Yan Qingcheng stood by the fence watching Liu Chang'an.
"Good afternoon." Since she was looking at him, Liu Chang'an greeted her warmly.
"Liu Chang'an, I tagged you in the class group, but you didn't respond." Yan Qingcheng's tone was calm, simply stating the facts without any hint of resentment.
"Yes, back in high school, when people tagged me, I wouldn't reply, and later nobody tagged me anymore," Liu Chang'an recalled.
"What I mean is, since you're in charge of military training now, you need to go to the boys' dorms beforehand to check on the situation, count the attendance and absences, and then we'll meet up to summarize and submit it." Yan Qingcheng had already thought of this. Some people are like that; you tag them, and they either don't see it or pretend not to see it. It's really annoying. I don't know what these people are thinking.
"You should find someone else. I have no interest in anything other than studying." Liu Chang'an waved his hand, deeply influenced by Gao Dewei.
"Huh?" Yan Qingcheng was quite surprised. This guy, who had gotten into two fights today, was saying he had no interest in anything other than studying?
"Besides, my counselor is my cousin. I'll tell her I don't want to do it. Don't bother. I just told you not to meddle, and you're already thinking of causing me trouble? You're so petty." Liu Chang'an finished speaking and then called Qin Yanan.
It turned out the counselor was his cousin... Yan Qingcheng rolled her eyes at him, then stopped arguing and went to find the instructor.
After the afternoon military training ended, Liu Chang'an leisurely returned home and met Zhou Shuling holding the hand of elementary school student Zhou Dongdong at the entrance of the community.
When Zhou Dongdong saw Liu Chang'an, she held out her lollipop, which was still wet from her licking, and said, "Let me give you a lick!"
Liu Chang'an declined Zhou Dongdong's kind offer and asked Zhou Shuling, "Do elementary school students get out of school this late?"
"No way, school's already over. I told her to try coming home by herself today, but I followed her from a distance. As a result, she stopped at the first food stall and stood there for twenty minutes before leaving!" Zhou Shuling said helplessly.
"So you stood for twenty minutes at the second place you bought it from?"
Zhou Shuling nodded.
"What about the third one?" On the way to school, Zhou Shuling Zhou Dongdong three shops to buy snacks for Zhou Dongdong so that she could remember the route.
"The third one stood there for five minutes. The little girl selling milk tea saw her watching and made her a cup, but she refused it. She took two steps back, tripped, and then ran away."
"Why don't you want it?" Liu Changan wondered, "You must not be Zhou Dongdong, but some other monster, right?"
"If I drink the milk tea and don't have money to give her later, she'll grab me and sell me!" Zhou Dongdong is very clear-headed about the various dangers she might encounter in her life.
Liu Chang'an initially wanted to say that she was overthinking things, that no one would buy a child who could eat so much, but then she thought better of it. After all, Zhou Dongdong was a foolish child, and it was possible that she would believe that no one would buy her and start to live freely.
"Don't rush, take your time, you'll get used to it after a few more trips," Liu Chang'an said to Zhou Shuling.
Zhou Shuling could only nod and asked, "When are you going to the store? It's under renovation."
"Let's wait a few days."
Back home, Zhou Shuling told Zhou Dongdong to go home and do her homework, and then she was going to visit Baolong Center.
Liu Chang'an tasted the wheat porridge and chili sauce; the flavor was authentic. This late summer heat was indeed intense. He wasn't the only one in the neighborhood drying chilies and making fermented black beans; he was one of the latecomers. His relative, Old Lady Liu, had almost finished drying her chili sauce. Old Man Qian's chili sauce also contained minced garlic and thoroughly fried beef cubes and shredded chicken—luxurious and extravagant. It was said that Old Man Qian was among the top three richest retirees in the neighborhood, hence his high standard of living.
Liu Chang'an's chili sauce only contains green beans because he mainly uses it for meat dishes, while Old Man Qian's is more suitable for mixing with rice or noodles.
After tidying up the pots and jars that had been drying outside, Liu Chang'an took out his stinky mandarin fish. In this kind of weather, it wouldn't take long for it to naturally smell bad, especially since it was made with real stinky tofu that Liu Chang'an had made himself.
Liu Chang'an was quite satisfied with the smell. The gills were still bright red, and the scales hadn't fallen off, but the flavor had already seeped in. It was just like a girl's natural body odor; if you use too many cosmetics, skincare products, and bath products, the fragrance will inevitably seep in... Of course, some girls with poor lifestyle habits or too frequent nightlife and promiscuous relationships might also emit a natural odor that counteracts these fragrances, but they wouldn't be like stinky mandarin fish—smells bad but tastes good.
Liu Chang'an heated the wok, added oil and heated it to 70% hot, then put the marinated stinky mandarin fish into the wok and fried it. After taking it out, he added ginger, garlic, bamboo shoots, wild chili peppers and chili sauce that he hadn't yet made into a chili sauce and stir-fried it. He added a few pieces of bone broth and simmered it over low heat. Finally, he added the stinky mandarin fish back in to absorb the broth and reduce the sauce before serving.
This taste... Liu Chang'an took a deep breath. The aroma was unique, made with authentic South Hunan spicy flavor. Liu Chang'an set out the bowls and chopsticks, then made a phone call to ask Zhou Dongdong to come down and eat the stinky mandarin fish, because Zhou Shuling said she might not have time to prepare dinner for Zhou Dongdong that night.
Zhou Dongdong hadn't finished her homework yet, but eating was clearly the most important thing in a child's life. Zhou Dongdong happily ran downstairs, sniffed, and was immediately shocked. "Brother Chang'an, are you eating poop?!"
Liu Chang'an's chopsticks trembled, and the fish he had just picked up fell back down.
Zhou Dongdong rushed home, carried the rice cooker inner pot downstairs, and came panting to Liu Chang'an's side, "Brother Chang'an, don't eat shit anymore, I'll feed you rice."
"I ate fish!" Liu Chang'an said, emphasizing each word.
"Fish shit!"
"Fish! Fish meat! Look!" Liu Chang'an picked up a piece of fish meat and showed it to Zhou Dongdong.
Zhou Dongdong was stunned. "So you were eating and pooping at the same time?"
"Go back and do your homework." Liu Chang'an didn't want to talk to her anymore; he still needed to eat.
"Why does it smell so bad?" Zhou Dongdong was completely baffled.
While she was looking at something with her mouth open, Liu Chang'an picked up a piece of fish with his chopsticks and stuffed it into Zhou Dongdong's mouth.
Zhou Dongdong opened her mouth and spat it out, but a little bit of fish meat still remained in her mouth. Amidst the nauseating smell, she gradually smelled a spicy and delicious aroma, and involuntarily pursed her lips.
"I... I'll try a little more." Zhou Dongdong licked her lips.
Liu Chang'an gave her a pair of chopsticks.
This meal was very enjoyable. Sometimes, when you're enjoying delicious food, you don't necessarily feel the need to eat it with rice. The most enjoyable way to eat is simply to have rice with side dishes, stimulating your appetite with each bite and satisfying the feeling of fullness in your stomach, rather than having every part of your mouth taste the food.
Stinky mandarin fish is the kind of dish that can be enjoyed with three bowls of rice, satisfying the appetite without any regard for appreciating its deliciousness or any sense of ritual.
This is like an emperor with three thousand beauties in his harem. Every day, he would choose a beauty and patiently appreciate her exquisite beauty and charm. However, after a year of abstinence, when he encounters another beautiful woman, he may not have the patience to appreciate her anymore, but the satisfaction he gets may be much stronger than before.
After they finished eating, Zhou Dongdong reached out and touched Liu Chang'an's stomach, then touched her own. "I'll tell you a secret!"
"What?"
"My mom hasn't hit me for three days!"
"Do you want to climb onto the roof and remove some tiles?"
"I can't climb up!"
"That's right, none of these round things can crawl, unless you're a panda."
"Brother Chang'an, have you ever eaten panda food?"
As the two were talking, Zhou Shuling returned. Zhou Dongdong called out "Mom!" Liu Chang'an pointed at Zhou Dongdong and said, "She's already eaten."
"Did you two eat shit?" Zhou Shuling exclaimed in surprise, covering her nose and taking a few steps back.
Like mother, like daughter. Liu Chang'an blew a few more breaths at Zhou Shuling, causing Zhou Shuling to back away.
"We ate rotten mandarin fish," Liu Chang'an said irritably.
"Then you guys go brush your teeth first." Zhou Shuling couldn't help but laugh. "I just ran into Miss Zhu. She asked me to ask you if you'd like to receive a grand opening gift from her."
"Take it." Liu Chang'an said without hesitation.
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I highly recommend a book that feels very serendipitous: <The Stay-at-Home Dad's Otherworldly Restaurant>. It also features an adorable little girl, reminiscent of Liu Chang'an and Zhou Dongdong. At 1.8 million words, it's quite substantial, allowing for a satisfying and enjoyable reading experience, like a delicious side dish that will leave you feeling full.