Hiding in a Coffin and Hiding in a Refrigerator

The coffin lid slowly slid open a narrow gap, revealing a pair of wary eyes that cautiously scrutinized Liu Chang'an.

Liu Chang'an looked at Shangguan Dandan.

Shangguan Dandan seemed only interested in showing her sparkling eyes, and showed no intention of coming out from inside the coffin. "What is it?"

"Want to go for a walk?" Liu Chang'an didn't get straight to the point.

"Then... you have to hold me." Shangguan Dandan thought for a moment and said without much concern. Her great-grandfather, Emperor Liu Heng, was the mother of Empress Dowager Bo. The emperor served her diligently. When the empress dowager was often ill, for three years, the emperor did not sleep or take off his clothes. He would not give her any medicine without personally tasting it himself. He was selected as one of the Twenty-Four Filial Exemplars. He was a model of filial piety and benevolence, and his virtues were unparalleled among all emperors. He served his virtuous mother with utmost care and always tasted her medicine himself.

So Shangguan Dandan looked at Liu Chang'an expectantly. Why couldn't she and him be like Emperor Wen and Empress Dowager Bo? She didn't need him to personally taste her medicine and serve her; he only had to carry her around.

"Are you three years old?" Liu Chang'an asked. "Zhou Dongdong only likes to be tucked under her armpits."

"Fifteen years old." The coffin lid was moved a little further, and Shangguan Dandan poked her head out.

"To be precise, you are 2,107 years old, Dan Dan." Liu Chang'an's own age was meaningless, but Shangguan Dandan's age was a number that could be calculated and made her realize that she was a little old lady.

How old are you?

"Eighteen."

"I have never seen such a shameless person as you." Shangguan Dandan lowered her head. She didn't want to say much anyway. The coffin lid slowly closed.

This time, Liu Chang'an was prepared and reached out to wed the gap.

"What are you trying to do?" Shangguan Dandan stretched out her finger to pry his finger off.

"I have a question for you, and you need to answer it clearly... clearly, not halfway through and then crawl back into your coffin. Then I'll take you out to play." Liu Chang'an needed to make things clear to her first; Empress Dowager Shangguan's word was law, and she wouldn't go back on her word once she agreed.

Shangguan Dandan tapped Liu Chang'an's thumb again with her slender fingers, then slowly pushed open the coffin lid, pointed to the small stool, and said, "Help me out."

"He's putting on airs again," Liu Chang'an said, fetching a small stool and placing it beside the coffin.

Shangguan Dandan stood up and extended her hand.

Liu Chang'an took her hand, Shangguan Dandan stepped out of the coffin, barefoot onto a small stool, and pointed to the bed again.

Liu Chang'an had no choice but to carry her to the bed.

Shangguan Dandan stood on the bed, took a few steps, and looked down at Liu Chang'an: "Ask away."

"Besides Ye Sijin, have you ever detected my presence in anyone else's body?"

Shangguan Dandan's eyes brightened, reminding Liu Chang'an of Zhou Dongdong when she saw delicious food.

"Have you seen her before?" Liu Chang'an observed her reaction.

"There is a woman whose body contains an explosive amount of vitality and blood energy." After Shangguan Dandan finished speaking, she bit her lower lip, revealing two blunt little tiger teeth.

"Many explosions?" Liu Chang'an felt a strong sense of incongruity upon hearing this word from her.

"The aura emanating from her is so strong that my darling could mistake her for you." Shangguan Dandan released her lips, her sparkling eyes disappearing as she coldly stared at Liu Chang'an. "She must have swallowed hundreds of pounds of your saliva, right?"

"How many tons?"

Shangguan Dandan bit her lip again.

"Your face turned into a chubby bun when you bit your lip, it was quite cute," Liu Chang'an praised, then asked, "Was that woman the Third Mistress?"

Shangguan Dandan just bit her lip and didn't say anything. She walked a few steps on the bed, sat down, stood up again, and walked to the foot of the bed, lifting her skirt.

Liu Chang'an quickly stopped her, "Dan Dan, we agreed to answer clearly this time."

"I don't know who the Third Mistress is." Shangguan Dandan's lips curled into a sneer. "Isn't this the term for the mistress that every family in modern society has?"

Liu Chang'an strongly suspected that she actually knew the true meaning of "mistress," since the term was very common online, but that wasn't the point. She started rambling and didn't want to talk properly anymore.

"So, roughly when did you sense that this woman had come to our vicinity?" Liu Chang'an asked with a very good temper.

Shangguan Dandan raised her head slightly, quite satisfied with the word "our family," and then reached out to put her arm around Liu Chang'an's neck, wanting to pull him into her embrace.

Liu Chang'an stiffened his neck slightly, Shangguan Dandan tried to pull her neck out, but she was not very strong. She could only bite her lip, revealing her blunt little tiger teeth, and look at Liu Chang'an with a look that said, "If you don't do as I say, I won't talk."

This old lady was someone Liu Chang'an couldn't handle, so Liu Chang'an had no choice but to relax and let her pull his head into her arms.

"My darling sensed it very clearly near our home. There was no sun, moon, or time in the coffin. I remember I was already awake then, and you kept me up all night every night." Shangguan Dandan stroked Liu Chang'an's cheek, trying to imitate a gentle and kind tone, and slowly said with a few inflections in her breath.

What she meant by "spending the whole night" was just Liu Chang'an giving her a lesson. Liu Chang'an realized that it was summer vacation, and he began to explain many things about modern society to Shangguan Dandan. At that time, he was hosting a banquet at home. Qin Yanan came, Zhu Juntang came, and the Third Mistress also came. Zhou Dongdong picked up a lot of firecrackers and ate a lot of rice.

No one else could possibly possess an aura more closely resembling Liu Chang'a Qin Yanan's, and at the same time, her vitality and life force were so vigorous that Shangguan Dandan was astonished.

It's confirmed. The Third Mistress possesses the most aura that closely resembles Liu Chang'an's, so it can only be Su Mei.

"This mistress has slept with you so much, but now you two don't even recognize each other when you meet?" Shangguan Dandan said gently, "A good man has no shortage of wives. Let bygones be bygones regarding past affairs."

Liu Chang'an didn't respond to her words. He was thinking about what Su Mei might do next now that he was certain Su Mei was the Third Mistress.

"My great-uncle once said: 'How can we have a home when the Xiongnu have not been destroyed?' In this era, it is a time for our China to change and move forward, but we are beset by internal and external troubles. My son, you should strive to move forward and learn from the Marquis of Champion to abandon personal feelings for your children..." Shangguan Dandan earnestly advised, "As long as a man has his mother's love and the warmth of her embrace, that is enough."

Liu Chang'an felt that if he didn't speak, Shangguan Dandan would become even more immersed in her role as "mother." He pulled away from her embrace and said, "I'll come find you at dawn."

Shangguan Dandan thought about it and agreed. The scene of people densely packed together at other times was also somewhat frightening.

Liu Chang'an walked to the door, then turned back. "Just now, when you were thinking about the Third Mistress, you bit your lip and showed your teeth. Wasn't that because you were attracted to her vitality and couldn't help but reveal your zombie-like nature?"

Shangguan Dandan stood on a small stool and glared at Liu Chang'an. Even zombies are so ugly!

Liu Chang'an took the script and went upstairs. He flipped through the script while thinking about it some more, when Zhou Dongdong ran downstairs.

"Brother Chang'an, let's play hide-and-seek!"

"I'm not coming."

"Come on! I'll give you chocolate, and you can play with me..." Zhou Dongdong pulled a soft chocolate out of her pocket.

"Thank you." Liu Chang'an refused the candy. "Go hide."

"You come in by yourself in a bit. I'll hide well and won't call you, otherwise you'll find me," Zhou Dongdong said cleverly from the doorway.

"OK."

Zhou Dongdong pushed the door open and rushed inside.

Liu Chang'an stood at the door, flipped through the script, and then went into the living room. Without looking for Zhou Dongdong, he first plugged in the refrigerator.

Liu Chang'an took the instruction manual off the top of the refrigerator, checked the cooling efficiency of the refrigerator compartment, and then brewed a pot of tea. He had drunk too much wine and eaten too much chicken, so he felt a bit greasy. Only tea was something he had been drinking for thousands of years.

Then Liu Chang'an opened the door to the cold storage room, where Zhou Dongdong was.

Zhou Dongdong hurriedly climbed out of the cold storage room, hugged Liu Chang'an, and climbed onto him. Liu Chang'an bent down and picked her up.

Zhou Dongdong nestled in Liu Chang'an's arms, feeling warm, and rubbed her cheek against Liu Chang'an face, shivering as she said, "You... you took so long... so long to find me! I won!"

"Fine, you win. You've turned into an ice pop." Faced with the child who had turned into an ice pop, Liu Chang'an willingly admitted defeat.

Zhou Dongdong was taken aback. She quickly licked her fingers and bit them, but they weren't hard and sweet like popsicles at all.

So Zhou Dongdong became Zhou Dongdong again.

"Is hiding in the refrigerator fun?" Liu Chang'an asked expressionlessly. This kid had been beaten by Zhou Shuling once for hiding in the refrigerator, but he hadn't learned his lesson at all.

Zhou Dongdong was about to nod, but remembering that she had almost turned into an ice pop, she hesitated for a moment and shook her head.

"Refrigerators and washing machines are dangerous for children if they are used as playthings. For example, a refrigerator can turn you into an ice pop, and a washing machine can turn you into a soap bubble. Got it?" Liu Chang'an put Zhou Dongdong on the ground and spanked him twice.

Zhou Dongdong bounced around, feeling as energetic as when she hadn't eaten, and nodded vigorously. She would tell Song Taozi tomorrow at school that they shouldn't hide in the refrigerator or washing machine when playing hide-and-seek.

"Brother Chang'an, if I turned into an ice pop, would you eat me?"

"Of course, it's crunchy."

"I don't taste good, don't eat me," Zhou Dongdong quickly and earnestly declared.

"Have you got a meal yet?"

"Yes, I've eaten. But do you have any more food for me? I can still eat."

"No."

"Oh."

"Go buy two mung bean popsicles." Liu Chang'an gave Zhou Dongdong two coins and sent her to the convenience store.

Zhou Dongdong loved doing errands like this. She quickly brought out two mung bean popsicles, gave one to Chang'an, and then sat on the sofa with Chang'an, licking the popsicles and watching TV.

Although Zhou Dongdong was very anxious because she hadn't grown up yet, being the child that Brother Chang'an liked filled her life with happiness. Zhou Dongdong turned her head and bit Brother Chang'an's arm, then continued eating her mung bean popsicle.