Class Zero Versus Shrek? Seriously?

As soon as Lan Kai chose a seat by the window, Gu Yue moved with lightning speed, elbowed Xie Xie aside, and sat down calmly next to Lan Kai.

Xie Xie, who ended up sitting beside Tang Wulin, could only silently cover the spot where she'd elbowed him, near tears.

Gu Yue wasn't especially strong, so why did her elbow hurt so much? Could she have learned that from Lan Kai?

Of everyone in Class Zero, Lan Kai was the one who most liked throwing elbows in close-quarters combat. But in everyday life, he almost never did that.

Could it be that Gu Yue has a crush on the class monitor? But she didn't have to elbow me! I'm not going to steal your man!

Xie Xie really wanted to shout that out, but there were far too many people around he couldn't afford to offend, so in the end, he held it in.

What he didn't know was that in this world, men could steal men from women, too—and it had happened to Spirit Ice Douluo Huo Yuhao, who founded the Spirit Pagoda.

Besides, the current Tang Sect master and vice master were also a famous pair of gay powerhouses.

That was right—not sworn brothers, but gay powerhouses. They'd admitted it themselves; it wasn't just the fantasies of some fujoshi.

The Emperor Auspicious Beast had taken a serious hit in that regard back then. It was hard not to think Gu Yue had learned from that cautionary tale and meant to nip every possible rival in the bud.

Especially someone like Xie Xie, who looked a little like a pretty boy and could plausibly be mistaken for either a girl in disguise or a haughty, aloof bottom...

...Not!

Fortunately, Lan Kai didn't have much of an imagination. He was nowhere near as imaginative as a certain Ultraman famed for it; otherwise, he might never have been able to look Xie Xie in the eye again.

Xie Xie: "I can live with you calling me the God King of Defeat, but now you're slandering me as a bottom or a girl in disguise? Gu Yue, I'm going to fight you!"

But, to be fair, Lan Kai really wasn't interested in Gu Yue.

In theory, the Dragon God had split itself in two: the Golden Dragon King inherited its power, while the Silver Dragon King inherited its wisdom.

But from what Lan Kai had seen of Gu Yue, the Dragon God must have possessed both astonishing power and astonishing wisdom.

That was how the Dragon God could have taken an action that looked suspiciously like slitting its own throat and dying. The Silver Dragon King's behavior was pretty bizarre, too.

Having watched the Sea Tiger series, Lan Kai knew exactly how to deal with someone possessing astonishing wisdom: if you couldn't kill them right away, you had to starve them, work them to the bone, leave them destitute, whip them a few dozen times, then drive them out to a side courtyard.

So Lan Kai silently took out a... harmonica, leaving Gu Yue staring at him in confusion.

Of course Gu Yue knew what a harmonica was, but she couldn't understand why he was taking one out on the bus.

The Soul Guidance bus had been improved many times by now, and the ride was smooth. The eastern cities had also spent a fortune building and maintaining their level roads, so there weren't many bumps along the way.

Still, it was a long trip, and plenty of people planned to sleep through it. If Lan Kai...

Before Gu Yue could think any further, Lan Kai had already begun to play.

A little tune, not especially smooth but full of feeling, drifted through the cabin of the Soul Guidance bus.

"Is that... the class monitor playing? It's pretty good."

Xie Xie, who had been clutching his chest, suddenly looked up. He listened carefully for a while, then nodded again and again.

He suddenly missed his mother.

Tang Wulin felt the same. His thoughts seemed to return to that day when he'd just learned from Mang Tian that his parents had taken a job that looked suspicious and dangerous so they could raise money for him.

Even Wu Zhangkong couldn't help thinking of the day he'd left Shrek Academy to follow Long Bing, only to encounter Dark Hummingbird. He'd been badly injured, and Long Bing had died.

Only Gu Yue, for some reason, suddenly felt a terrible headache, as if the little tune were some kind of terrifying presence.

"Stop playing!"

Gu Yue raised both hands to cover her ears, but for some reason, she could still hear the tune clearly. She immediately tried to elbow Lan Kai with one of her raised arms.

But her movements were clumsy and terribly slow. Lan Kai leaned forward slightly and dodged the blow with ease, leaving Gu Yue off balance and nearly sprawled across his seat.

"Whew, I'm still not practiced enough. Looks like I'll have to keep working at it.

"But whenever I want to practice, Teacher Juggler stops me. I can only sneak in a little practice like this...?!"

Lan Kai put away the harmonica with some dissatisfaction and was about to lean back in his seat when he felt something digging into him.

He hurriedly stood up to look. Gu Yue was lying across the seats, clutching her ears with a pained expression.

"..."

Lan Kai was speechless for a moment. He simply picked Gu Yue up and put her back in her own seat.

Who would've thought someone with such a serious-looking face like Gu Yue would be afraid of this tune, just like Juggler?

Or was his playing really that awful—had it somehow combined Takeshi Goda's singing voice with Shizuka Minamoto's violin?

But judging by everyone else's reactions on the bus, his playing didn't seem that bad, did it?

After Lan Kai put her back in her seat, Gu Yue's face flushed red. If this embarrassing incident got out, the Silver Dragon King herself would probably be socially dead.

The rest of the trip passed in silence, except for Gu Yue, who kept glancing at Lan Kai as he rested with his eyes closed, torn between leaning closer while she had the chance and keeping as far away from him as possible.

Half a day later, Skysea City came into view.

Unlike Eastsea City, Skysea City was surrounded by more mountains, so its terrain varied considerably. Several towering buildings stood atop the peaks, seeming to reach straight into the clouds.

Just as Lan Kai and the others were preparing to follow Wu Zhangkong off the bus, several people who looked like officials from Skysea City came over, their expressions especially grim. They seemed to be dissatisfied, too.

And that dissatisfaction seemed directed at the bus carrying the people from Eastsea Academy.

"You're from Eastsea Academy, correct?" the leading official asked the group as they got off the bus.

"That's right," Wu Zhangkong replied coolly.

"Which of you are the Class Zero team? His Excellency Snake Heart of the Spirit Pagoda told us you'd be taking the place of the previous youth division champions of the Tianhai Alliance Grand Competition to compete in a friendly match against Shrek Academy. Is that true?"

Wu Zhangkong: ?

Lan Kai: Teacher Juggler, what are you doing?

Xie Xie: We're fighting Shrek? Seriously?