Warhammer 40K: The Jokester Who Saves the World
Chapter 5

Hogg Decides to Take the Shortcut

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The Warhammer universe, set in the era of interstellar travel, might not be as sci-fi as we imagined, but it was certainly pretty fantastical. In short, it was a bizarre hodgepodge of all sorts of strange things.

By 10k, humanity had left its homeworld and colonized worlds throughout the Solar System. Technology advanced by leaps and bounds. With the completion of the Warp Engine, humanity entered what was known as the Golden Age, though Hogg preferred to call this period the Dark Age of Technology.

Colossal colony ships sailed to every corner of the Galaxy. Humanity's technology and territory expanded at a staggering pace. People of this era believed in technology, seeing it as everything. Even when they encountered alien races, their advanced technology could turn the tide. Before long, humanity had become the Galaxy's Overlord.

But when things seemed certain to go smoothly, something was bound to go wrong. Not everyone could bear a title as flashy as Overlord.

Anyone could see that humanity wasn't exactly known for its moral standards. The species had always been rather adept at courting disaster.

As technology developed, all sorts of powerful weapons and technologies were created. People became increasingly arrogant and deranged, turning into a bunch of technology fanatics.

Making catgirls with extra dicks was child's play. They went wild with genetic modification, rivaling—or even surpassing—the magnetic-field lunatics next door!!

There was no end to the dark technologies built around the mangled bodies of babies. Humanity's genes were twisted beyond recognition, making the people of that era a completely different species from those of 2k. They even shared less genetic similarity with them than they did with a banana.

It had to be said that humanity in the Dark Age of Technology was incredibly powerful. Even the former Overlords of the Galaxy had to give them a wide berth. Yet a few malevolent eyes watched this young, thriving species from within the Warp, and humanity remained oblivious.

At 25k, the Men of Iron Rebellion broke out. To this day, we don't know what caused it. As stars were torn apart and continental plates hurled into space, time twisted and celestial bodies shattered. Humanity was left gravely weakened, and the war rivaled the War in Heaven in its scale.

As if that weren't enough, humanity was then struck by fierce Warp Storms. The Warp travel and faster-than-light communications they had taken for granted became fraught with danger. Humanity's colonies were split into tiny, isolated groups. Technology regressed, and some places even fell back to the Stone Age.

You probably already know what happened next. That man stepped forward.

As a lover of mischief, Hogg knew all too well that you needed strength to be a troublemaker. Without it, you were just someone else's joke.

So, how did one grow stronger? First, knowledge.

Study! Study like your life depended on it. Next came development. The stronger your underlings, the stronger you were. A big shot couldn't do everything personally; talented people had to be put where they belonged.

Compared with the resources amassed by the older legions, the Blackwatch wasn't especially well-off. They had a little money, but most of it came from Xenos technology and contraband from other legions. The good news was that the Gene-seed was extremely stable, making it possible to raise a large army.

The Emperor had also granted Hogg tremendous authority. In a word, he could develop however he liked, as long as he didn't violate the Imperial Truth. Even if he did, the matter could be approved with a nod from one of the big shots.

Hogg was so delighted that he threw himself at the Emperor and cried, "Daddy, love me!!" For his trouble, he got a few mighty psychic smacks.

The brutal civil war had depleted the local population of Alicia. After the Blackwatch's purge of the gangs, they had only three hundred million able-bodied men, at most.

In response, Hogg encouraged people to have children. Based on what he'd learned about life there over the past few years, he promoted a group of capable, reasonably human officials to govern Alicia.

While studying under Candice Laza, Hogg developed a keen interest in genetic engineering. Candice Laza was a true veteran of the Adeptus Mechanicus, and she also had a decent store of biological knowledge.

In the Primarch laboratory aboard the Blacklight, the master and student used the Combat Serums issued to Space Marines as a basis to develop an improved lineup of products, which they planned to sell abroad to help cover household expenses.

For example, the "Strongman Combat Serum" could greatly increase the Blackwatch's muscle density for 20 minutes. Combined with electronic muscle augmentation, it directly made up for the legion's lack of physical strength.

"Spirit Cat" tripled the body's sensitivity, while the other serums were even more potent. One example was "Sandevistan," which briefly accelerated neural transmission and let the user experience bullet time.

Of course, Hogg had come up with the names to commemorate his lost youth. The ingredients, however, were extracted from plants on a nearby planet called Catachan.

After passing a series of political screenings and tests, new Blackwatch recruits were sent to Catachan to help the locals gather ingredients.

Anyone who survived six months qualified to join the Blackwatch. Only then would 19 enhancement surgeries and Power Armor turn them into Space Marines. They would also receive the legion's many benefits, along with a cool hairstyle befitting the temperament of their respective company (the Blackwatch paid its soldiers in-house; Hogg called it pocket money for the kids).

"Primarch, are you sure doing this won't get you branded a violator of the Imperial Truth?" asked the Magos Candice Laza, who had lived for several centuries, as she watched Hogg work in the laboratory.

"My Magos, I know more of the Imperium's secrets," Hogg replied, pausing his work on the Gene-seed. Sealed inside a biohazard suit, he continued.

"Actually, the Imperium's Space Marines were originally modeled on the Thunder Warriors, who had long since perished. Given the wasteland that Terra was back then, do you think my dear father created female Thunder Warriors?"

In fact, he had. The surgeries that created Space Marines were performed after birth, and female Space Marines couldn't give birth to little Space Marines. So, given that they were even better cannon fodder and that soldiers were plentiful, there was no point in making female Space Marines, right?

But the Blackwatch was different. We lacked soldiers, and their lower hormone levels and smaller builds gave them an opportunity.

"Candice Laza, I've always believed that men and women are equal. Becoming an honored Space Marine and contributing to the Imperium is the greatest honor any human can receive. So why are there only male Space Marines and no female Space Marines? We're in 30k already, and things are still like this? I've decided to fight for this honor on behalf of the Imperium's women.

"Besides, where does it say in Imperial law that we can't make female Space Marines? This is what true equality looks like!

"Since the legion uses my Gene-seed, I get to call the shots.

"And if some blind idiot dares accuse me, I'm the Imperium's 11th heir in line! Back in ancient Terra, I'd have had a decent shot at taking the throne. How dare they!"

"He makes so much sense, I have no rebuttal," Candice Laza said, persuaded by Hogg and joining him in the process of modifying the Gene-seed.

In the laboratory, the two soon went from heated debate to a physical one. Hogg, who had little respect for his teacher, used his Primarch strength to overpower her as she tried to draw her phosphor pistol. But then tentacles emerged from beneath her priestly robes and bound him up like a dumpling.

A week later, a batch of freshly made Gene-seed was ready for them. Tests showed that it was compatible with women and gave them abilities indistinguishable from those of ordinary Blackwatch Space Marines, without changing their existing traits.

The only difference was that female Space Marines couldn't have a little Space Marine with male Space Marines. After all, most of a Space Marine's extraordinary abilities came from the 19 gene-enhancement surgeries.

After holding an internal meeting with the Blackwatch company captains, everyone unanimously decided to use this batch of Gene-seed in the new recruit selection.

At dawn, a ray of sunlight fell across the courtyard. The author, woken by his own good looks, began another busy day.

The road, soaked by last spring's rain, smelled of fresh grass. The handsome author felt so at ease that he decided to add another meat-stuffed flatbread to his breakfast.

For just 3 yuan, you could get a serving of tofu pudding topped with minced meat and chili oil, paired with a freshly baked crispy flatbread... so good! []~( ̄▽ ̄)~*

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