Warhammer 40K: The Jokester Who Saves the World
Chapter 9

Brothers, You Smell So Good!!

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Chapter 9: Brother, You Smell So Good!!

As the twentieth Primarch created by Emperor, he was actually one of a pair of twins. They were Alpharius and Omega, both identical and both bald.

Although we often mock Emperor's parenting skills—which might not even be as refined as those of the Great Shark King next door—Malcador the Sigillite, the Regent of the Empire, wasn't much better. To this day, we still don't know if the Twentieth Legion actually rebelled, though later accounts claim Dorn hacked one Afa to death, and Guilliman hacked either Omega or Alpharius to death.

But who knows? After all, everyone is Alpharius.

Furthermore, the first to return was actually Afa. When the Warp storms swept through, Afa's incubation pod landed right at the entrance of Emperor's laboratory at the foot of the Himalayas. During a grand birthday celebration, the Warmaster Horus, having been possessed, rattled off a string of "Yellow Fist" and "Yellow Sword" jargon that left one sighing in disbelief.

Afa was among the taller Primarchs, but his abilities masked this trait. They could conceal themselves based on the environment, changing their stature within a certain range—a superpower that made others ignore their presence, similar to Doraemon's Stone Hat. If necessary, he could even disguise himself as a mortal.

"Heh! Want to know why? I'm not telling you, and you'd better behave! Push me too far and I'll castrate you. Don't worry! Your brother here has been studying biotechnology lately; the worst that happens is I give our father a daughter."

Grabbing Afa, who was currently disguised as a mortal, by the collar, Hogg Menethil spoke viciously.

Covered in spit, Alpharius didn't say much. As Emperor's favorite child (in his own estimation), his father's every wish was the goal of his life. When Horus returned, he had stood by his side, watching silently. Every returning Primarch went to holy Terra, but the Primarch of the Eleventh Legion was the exception.

After requesting permission from Emperor, Emperor and his teacher, Malcador the Sigillite, gave their consent with strange expressions and assigned him a mission.

Afterward, Alpharius headed to Alicia and easily infiltrated Blackwatch, where he spent over a month doing menial labor. Now that his disguise had been seen through, he had no choice but to change his approach.

With a shudder, the figure before him slowly grew taller, and his features shifted. The only thing that remained unchanged was his gleaming bald head.

"My brother, I..."

"BANG!"

A powerful whip kick sent Alpharius crashing to the floor. His detestable brother had launched a sudden attack—damn it, how was he so fast!

"I don't like being looked down upon. Get shorter. Yes, that's it, soften the lines. Make this part bigger. Ah! Beautiful. Now I acknowledge you as my brother."

Three minutes later, Hogg, sitting in the Primarch's quarters on the bridge, raised a glass of cola and let out a wild laugh as he looked at the transformed Afa.

"Let's make a formal introduction: Hogg Menethil, Primarch of the Eleventh Legion, Blackwatch." A palm extended toward Alpharius.

"Alpharius, Primarch of the Twentieth Legion, Alpharius." A slender, fair hand reached out, and the two shook hands.

"Hogg, did you make me look like this just to satisfy your twisted tastes?" Alpharius, sipping his cola, leaned back on the sofa. Beneath his pale golden short hair was a cold, enchanting face, his curvaceous figure bound in a tight black bodysuit.

"Of course! You snuck onto my ship, even if you are my brother. If I don't punish you, how am I supposed to lead my warriors? Besides, you'd better maintain this appearance. The Blacklight has already logged this data; if something goes wrong and you get tossed into the void, that's your own problem."

Stopping his teasing, emerald lightning flickered, and illusory tentacles coiled around the cabin. Setting down his drink, Hogg asked solemnly, "Tell me, did Emperor send you? Miss Alpharius?"

"Yes, our father sent me, and he gave me a message: [Hope is dead]. He said I could join the plan."

"Oh? Hope is dead, is it? I understand. Since Emperor sent you, it means he has made his decision, and it means you are qualified to join this plan."

"Do you choose to join?"

"If it is for Emperor, for humanity, I am willing."

"CRACKLE!" Emerald lightning flashed, and the pitch-black tentacles grew increasingly frantic. Chaotic consciousness flooded the small cabin, and the tentacles enveloping the Blacklight began to expand, wantonly devouring the energy of the Warp.

At this moment, Hogg's Primarch body began to wither, and intense pain tortured his nerves.

[I hate riddlers, so we have one minute. Emperor and I caught a glimpse of the future; the decay of the Empire is inevitable, but how it decays is a choice in our hands. Only sacrifice can break these shackles. As an agent of the Empire, you will face a choice in the future: embrace Him, then betray Him. Just like you usually do.]

The emerald lightning deepened, the loss of energy and the agony of his flesh tearing at Hogg's existence.

[Damn it! It hurts like hell. Remember, we can only win if we muddy the waters. There is no omniscient or omnipotent being in this world. Time is running out; those pieces of trash must be watching me. Finally, I'll give you a gift—don't you dare die.]

A fleshy tentacle flew out and violently pierced Alpharius's throat, disappearing into her body within moments, followed by a surge of memories.

In a daze, Alpharius felt as if he had had a dream, though a Primarch's body had no need for dreams. He still had to deal with his twisted brother. Perhaps when the All-Father created him, He forgot to load his morality. I am his brother, how could he dare treat me like this?

This was the seventh day since he was discovered. These past few days, Alpharius had suffered endless humiliation. His usually infallible disguises seemed to have failed; no matter what he transformed into, he was always discovered. For someone whose hobby was disguise, this was agonizing.

Moreover, whenever he failed to maintain that shameful appearance, his rude brother would suddenly appear behind him and beat him severely.

For the first time, Alpharius hated why he possessed such a durable body and envied Hogg for having such overwhelming strength. Every encounter was a one-sided beating with no chance of victory.

The good news was that over this week, Alpharius had preliminarily discovered the reason for his failure. According to his observations, although his morphological disguise was seamless, the Space Marines of the entire Blackwatch possessed a strange kind of "innocence."

This was a term Alpharius had once seen in an ancient document on holy Terra. Everyone in the Blackwatch, from the Primarch down to the mortal Auxilia, exuded a certain "aura of innocence."

Upon discovering this, Alpharius felt the malice of the world. It was just plain infuriating.

"Miss Alpharius. Here is today's attire!" The voice of the steward, Emilia Aziz, rang out from outside the door. A garment dominated by pure white with gold thread decorations, paired with black silk stockings, was delivered into the room assigned to Alpharius.

Numb, Alpharius changed into the clothes and struck a pose in front of Emilia. This was the result of his compromise after being beaten multiple times. With the click-clack of a camera, Emilia nodded in satisfaction.

End of Chapter
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