Warhammer 40K: The Jokester Who Saves the World
Chapter 9

Brother, You Smell So Good!!

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As the Emperor's Twentieth Primarch, Alpha was actually one of a pair of twins. The two were Alpha and Omega, and both were bald and looked exactly alike.

We often joked about the Emperor's parenting skills, which might not even have been as good as the Great Shark King's. But Malcador, the Imperial Regent, wasn't much better. To this day, we still didn't know whether the Twentieth Legion had rebelled. Later accounts claimed that Dorn had killed one Afa, while Guilliman had killed one Omega—or was it Miga?

But who knew? After all, everyone was Alpharius.

Also, the first Primarch to return was actually Afa. When the Warp Storm swept through, Afa's gestation pod landed right outside the entrance to the Emperor's laboratory at the foot of the Himalayas. Then, during the Great Birthday Celebration, Warmaster Horus returned after being possessed and rattled off a string of lines about yellow fists and yellow swords. It was truly a lamentable sight.

As a Primarch, Afa was among the taller ones, but his abilities concealed that fact. They could blend into their surroundings and alter their appearance within a certain range—a superpower that kept others from noticing them, rather like Doraemon's stone hat. If necessary, they could even disguise themselves as an ordinary mortal.

"Heh-heh! Want to know why? Too bad, I'm not telling you. And you'd better behave! If you make me angry, I'll castrate you. Don't worry! I've been studying biotechnology lately. Worst comes to worst, I'll give our father a daughter."

Hogg grabbed Afa, who was disguised as an ordinary-sized mortal, and said menacingly.

With spittle covering her face, Alpha said nothing. As the Emperor's favorite child—or so she believed—everything her father did was a lifelong goal for her to strive toward. She had been by Horus's side, silently watching when he returned. Every returning Primarch went to Holy Terra, with one exception: the Primarch of the Eleventh Legion.

After seeking the Emperor's permission, she received his strange-looking approval, along with that of her teacher, the Sigillite Malcador. They also gave her a mission.

Afterward, Alpha went to Alicia and had little trouble infiltrating Blackwatch. She even spent over a month doing menial labor. But now that her disguise had been exposed, she had no choice but to try another approach.

With a shudder, the figure before her slowly grew taller, and his features changed. The only thing that stayed the same was his shining bald head.

"My brother, I—"

Thump!

A powerful sweeping kick sent Alpha sprawling to the ground. Her despicable brother had suddenly launched an attack. Damn it, how was he so fast?!

"I don't like being looked down on. Get shorter. Yes, that's right. Softer lines. A little bigger here. Ah, perfect! Now I acknowledge you as my brother."

Three minutes later, Hogg sat in the Primarch's quarters on the bridge, raised a glass of cola, and roared with laughter at the drastically changed Afa.

"Let's make this official. Hogg Menethil, Primarch of the Eleventh Legion, Blackwatch." He held out a hand to Alpharius.

"Alpha, Primarch of the Twentieth Legion, Alpharius." She extended a slender, pale hand, and the two shook hands.

"Hogg, did you make me look like this to satisfy your weird tastes?" Alpha asked, leaning back on the sofa as she tasted her cola. Beneath her short, pale-gold hair was a cool, alluring face. Her voluptuous figure was tightly bound in a black bodysuit.

"Of course! You secretly infiltrated my ship. Even if you're my brother, I have to punish you—or how could I lead my warriors?

"Besides, you'd better keep this appearance. Blacklight has already registered it. If something goes wrong and you get jettisoned into the void, that'll be your own problem."

He stopped teasing her. Emerald lightning flickered as illusory tentacles coiled around the room. Setting down his drink, Hogg asked seriously,

"Tell me, were you sent by the Emperor? Lady Alpha?"

"Yes. Our father sent me, and he gave me a message for you: 'Hope is dead.' He said I could join the plan."

"Oh? Hope is dead? I understand. If the Emperor sent you, then he's made his decision. That means you're qualified to join this plan."

"Will you choose to join?"

"If it's for the Emperor, for humanity, then I'm willing."

Crackle! Emerald lightning flashed, and the dark tentacles grew more frenzied. Chaotic consciousness filled the small room. The tendrils wrapped around Blacklight began to expand, greedily devouring the energy of the Warp.

At that moment, Hogg's Primarch body began to wither, and agonizing pain tore at his nerves.

I hate people who speak in riddles, so we have one minute. The Emperor and I glimpsed a fragment of the future. The Imperium's decline is inevitable, but how it declines is up to us.

Only sacrifice can break these shackles. As an agent of the Imperium, you'll face a choice in the future: embrace it, then betray it. Just as you usually do.

The emerald lightning grew darker, and the loss of energy and agony of his flesh tore at Hogg's very existence.

Fuck! This hurts like hell. Remember, we can only win if we muddy the waters. Nothing in this world is all-knowing and all-powerful. There's no time. Those bastards are definitely watching me. I'll give you a little gift before I go. Don't you dare die.

A fleshy tentacle shot out and brutally plunged into Alpha's throat. A moment later, it vanished inside her body, taking a fragment of thought with it.

In a daze, Alpha felt as if she'd had a dream, but Primarchs didn't dream. She still had to deal with her brother's perverse antics. Perhaps the Allfather had forgotten to install a sense of decency when he made him. I'm his brother—how dare he treat me like this?

It was the seventh day since she'd been discovered. Over the past few days, Alpha had endured humiliation after humiliation. Her normally flawless disguises seemed to have stopped working; no matter what she turned into, people always spotted her. For someone who treated disguise as a hobby, it was torture.

And whenever she didn't maintain that shameful appearance, her crude brother would suddenly appear behind her and beat her mercilessly.

For the first time, Alpha hated how tough her body was. She also envied Hogg's tremendous strength. Every encounter ended in a one-sided beating she had no chance of winning.

The good news was that over the past week, Alpha had begun to figure out why she kept failing. From what she'd observed, her disguises were flawless in form, but the Space Marines of Blackwatch all possessed a strange kind of "innocence."

It was a word she'd once seen in an ancient text on Holy Terra. Everyone in Blackwatch, from the Primarch down to the Imperial Guard, gave off at least a little of this "innocent air."

Once she realized the reason, Alpha felt the malice of the world. It was just so damn messed up.

"Lady Alpha, here's today's outfit!" Emilia Aziz, the chief steward, called from outside the door. An outfit with a pure white base, gold-thread decorations, and black stockings was brought into the room assigned to Alpha.

In a daze, Alpha changed into the clothes and posed for Emilia. It was a compromise she'd reached after being beaten up so many times. At the camera's rapid clicks, Emilia nodded with satisfaction.

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