Unfortunately, no one got to witness a billionaire relieving himself in public.
Because another suit of Steel Armor had appeared on the scene.
"The party's over. Everyone, get out!"
The newcomer was Tony's good friend, Colonel Rhodes.
He had put on the Steel Armor and was going to forcefully put an end to this farce.
But Du Mu saw through it at a glance.
It was obvious Tony had deliberately let him put it on.
Otherwise, how could someone without authorization wear the Steel Armor? Did Tony really think an ultra-intelligent AI like Jarvis didn't exist?
"Lame."
Du Mu shook his head. His attitude of wanting to stir up trouble at every turn left Natasha speechless.
She regretted it.
If she had this guy talk Tony into behaving, she was afraid Tony wouldn't last even 72 hours.
Natasha said quickly, "Keep an eye on Tony here. I'm going to report the situation to the director."
With that, she immediately turned and left.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
By then, the two suits of Steel Armor were already fighting, wildly punching each other with their iron fists.
They fought from the hall to the gym, and from the second floor to the first.
Before long, the mansion was covered in traces of Tony and Rhodey's passionate brawl.
By the end, both of them had lost their tempers. Their palm cannons charged up, and they fired energy beams at each other at the same time.
Rumble!!
The two energy blasts collided with tremendous force, and a powerful shock wave instantly erupted and spread outward!
Fortunately, everyone in the house had been evacuated beforehand. Otherwise, Tony and Rhodey's body count would have suddenly gone up by dozens.
When the dust settled, Rhodey flew off in his silver Steel Armor without looking back, leaving Tony lying alone amid the rubble.
Du Mu kicked aside the broken piece of barricade in front of him, walked over to Tony, and tapped on his Steel Armor helmet with a bent finger.
"Hey, are you dead?"
"Not yet."
The helmet opened, revealing Tony's utterly exhausted face.
At his neck, his veins had turned a distinct black, spreading upward like the traces of a circuit board.
[NPC: Tony Stark] [Code Name: Iron Man] [Affection: 70] [Evaluation: A representative of "the rich rely on technology, the poor rely on mutation"—Tony Stark, Marvel Kryptonian] [Status: Palladium Poisoning]
Well, would you look at that. He'd met both representatives of "the rich rely on technology, the poor rely on mutation" in a single day.
Looking at Tony's wretched state, Du Mu asked curiously, "You were fine before. How'd you suddenly end up like this?"
Tony was silent for a few seconds, then slowly spoke. "It's the Reactor... Its energy core is made of palladium. Every time a palladium plate runs out, a small amount of the element seeps into my bloodstream and gradually damages my circulatory system."
"But didn't you say one palladium plate could power the Reactor for decades?"
"That's at its lowest operating power. As soon as I put on the armor, its energy consumption increases dramatically. I've been looking for a substitute for palladium and tried every possible combination of all known elements, but none of them worked."
Maybe he'd been holding it in for too long. Tony poured out his situation all at once.
Du Mu asked in confusion, "So why not just install the Reactor in the Steel Armor? Then the palladium wouldn't get into your body, would it?"
Tony: "..."
Right! How had I not thought of that?
Tony looked crestfallen. "It's too late. There's no time."
There was practically no treatment for palladium poisoning.
After all, no one in history had put a miniature nuclear reactor in their chest. Tony was the first, so the disease might as well have been named after him.
"It's just a poisoning debuff. Is there any need to act like you're about to die?"
As he spoke, Du Mu pulled a bottle of bizarrely green potion out of his Game Inventory.
[Item: Antidote Potion (removes all poisoning statuses; synthesis materials include venom glands, seaweed, and coral)]
Before Tony could ask anything,
Du Mu opened the bottle, pried Tony's mouth open, and poured it down his throat.
"Mmmpf—!"
Tony was too weak to resist and was forced to drink every last drop of the thick green liquid.
"Damn it! What the hell did you make me drink?" Tony felt a foul taste shoot straight to his head.
"An Antidote Potion. See for yourself."
Du Mu pulled out a small mirror and shoved it in front of Tony.
Looking in the mirror, Tony was stunned to discover that all the black lines on his neck had vanished!
At the same time, a long-lost sense of ease spread through his body, as though a thousand-pound burden had been lifted!
"Sir, the palladium level in your body has dropped below 1%. The symptoms of palladium poisoning have disappeared," Jarvis announced at just the right moment.
It was gone!
And not merely alleviated—it had been completely cured!
Tony could hardly believe it.
The palladium poisoning that had plagued him for days and been considered incurable had been resolved by a bottle of mysterious green liquid?
"You saved my life again."
Tony looked at Du Mu with a complicated expression.
That made the third time Du Mu had saved his life.
Du Mu waved it off. "It's nothing. Consider it a reward for all the fun you gave me tonight."
He took out his phone, opened the album, and played the highlight reel from that evening.
It was the part where Tony had drunk his own urine in front of everyone.
"When I'm short on money, I'll post this video and make a killing. I've already got the title: 'Shocking! Iron Man Drinks Urine in Public!'"
Tony: "..."
I might as well have died!
Before long, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. arrived at the scene.
Leading them was Nick Fury, the director of S.H.I.E.L.D., who had finally left his office.
Behind him followed Natasha, now changed into a practical black combat suit.
Seeing Natasha in that outfit, Tony said in surprise, "So you're an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., too? I had no idea you were hiding it so well!"
Seeing this, Du Mu sighed. "Sorry, Tony. I'm actually an undercover agent, too. I've been posing as your bodyguard all this time. I bet you never saw that coming, either."
Tony's mouth twitched slightly. "..."
No, I saw it coming completely. You'd only need half my brains to tell you were an undercover agent.
Next, Nick Fury ordered all the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. to leave the second-floor hall. He wanted to talk to Tony alone.
Du Mu and Natasha went to the first-floor hall.
Under Natasha's speechless gaze, Du Mu casually opened a bottle from the liquor cabinet, then tilted his head back and stared intently at the ceiling as he savored the drink.
"What are you looking at?"
Natasha noticed Du Mu staring at the ceiling and couldn't figure out why.
"The subtitles."
Du Mu took a sip of his drink, looking as if he'd made an incredible discovery. "I never knew Tony's father was one of the founders of S.H.I.E.L.D. By the way, did you know about this?"
Natasha: "..."
I do now.