17. I've Already Ruined His Life (Revised)
She completely ignored the girl's personal feelings as she walked away alone.
She kept pressing forward from behind, swinging her baseball bat to grant quick deaths to those who had been cut in half or dismembered, yet still clung to life and could only wail in endless agony.
"People appearing out of nowhere, saying a whole bunch of things out of nowhere, every sentence sounding incredibly important, and yet I don't know anything. I can't tell which parts are truly important and which aren't—or whether some of it has been false from the very beginning. I've felt that way before, too."
"I always thought Dad had made a huge mistake, and that I deserved the malice people showed me. Then I suddenly found out there was more to Dad's story, and that I'd only known a small part of it."
"...Stop talking."
A muffled voice, as though it came from between the cracks in a stone.
"Herrschers, Honkai... I'm actually a huge bomb that could kill millions of people at any moment, and now someone I've never met before has shown up, stubbornly insisting on saving me."
"Just thinking about all this gives me a headache. If it were me, my head would be about to explode. Even I never went through anything this bizarre back then. At most... at most, someone disappeared out of nowhere, and no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't find them."
She got no response, but her voice didn't stop. She kept speaking in a reminiscent tone.
It seemed she'd been talking to herself from the very start.
"When something completely unexpected happens, it's only natural to have trouble accepting it. It takes several days to slowly get used to it."
She nodded gently.
"...That makes sense, too."
"I said—STOP TALKING!"
Faintly, the rumble of thunder and the buzzing of electricity reached them, like countless birds crying out. It made her heart seethe with irritation.
"—!"
The thunder stopped.
In an instant, the world fell so silent you could hear a pin drop.
The girl standing quietly ahead, showing only her haughty back, her bearing as cold and imposing as a queen—
She was trembling.
Her body heaved.
Like the prelude to a storm.
Thick, leaden-black clouds blotted out the sky, endless and rotten as burial shrouds, sealing off every view until not a sliver of light remained on the horizon.
The girl was tall, and even seen only from behind, she was undeniably beautiful. Yet it seemed as though she contained the entirety of the approaching storm and thunder.
"Appearing in front of me out of nowhere, showing me the truth of the world out of nowhere, giving me your trust out of nowhere, and then enduring pain out of nowhere—"
She drew a deep breath and screamed, as if she meant to roar her very organs out of her body.
"—How could I possibly accept something like that just like this?!"
"If you'd just stayed away from me, you wouldn't have gotten hurt! Someone like me has no reason to get close to you in the first place! And those hot-blooded manga protagonists... aren't they all dangerous lunatics when you get down to it?!"
"Lose control, lose control, lose control!"
One word after another spilled from her lips.
In her deep-purple eyes, those clear gems that rang like thunder high in the heavens, a blood-red glimmer flickered faintly.
"What value could a power like this possibly have, when I can't control it at all and it hurts everyone around me the moment I use it?"
"Someone who only hurts others and herself should just die already!"
"I have to live on shamelessly, hurting everyone—Father, the teacher who cared about me, the friends who were willing to reach out to me. Don't they all end up dying in manga? Does shouting loudly and losing control change the fact that they died because of me?"
"..."
"Is that how you really feel?"
Though her words were enough to shock anyone, Kiana simply listened in silence.
Like a glacier, as cool and aloof as her appearance suggested.
Her delicate brows drew together unconsciously.
For some reason, a feeling that she'd been slapped for no reason, just for happening to pass by, spread through her heart like fog on a cold winter's day.
Then,
she stared at the girl's back and asked in return,
"What are you going to do now?"
"But I should warn you of one thing. What seems like an utterly unexpected encounter to you may have come after you and Jiang Cheng had already lived together for many years, from her perspective."
Raiden Mei let out a heavy breath.
The storm quieted in that moment.
It was as if the whole world had cleared after the rain. The blood-red glimmer in her eyes vanished, leaving only that beautiful—no matter the angle—
purple.
"His worsening illness, all the pain he's suffered..."
"I can't make up for it."
"I couldn't do it when I was still a young lady, and I'm even more helpless now."
"At least I can draw their fire. I'm the only one Cocolia is targeting. With Cyrene's help, it won't be hard for him to get out of here."
She spoke calmly, stubbornly swinging her blade, her slender arms sweeping out in arcs again and again.
Precise,
swift.
It didn't look like killing so much as a repetitive, machine-like task.
Wu Gang upon the earth.
Or Yu Gong in a modern age.
The only difference was that the girl's movements were astonishingly precise. She took the lives of the elite soldiers around her without even needing a moment, so perfectly that it seemed like some kind of avant-garde art piece. It almost made you think she really could achieve something like Jingwei filling the sea.
Though they were speaking to each other, she wouldn't even turn around, unwilling to meet those eyes.
Just like when she'd heard about the damage caused by Erosion.
She didn't dare turn around, didn't dare look back into those azure eyes.
As Jiang Cheng's guardian, and as the family member who was closer to him than anyone, with not the slightest barrier between them,
Kiana looked at her disheveled back and bloodstained hair.
She spoke one word at a time.
"...You know he trusts you a lot, right?"
"..."
"..."
I believe.
"—I believe in Raiden Mei."
She didn't need to close her eyes or remember. The voice seemed to reach her ears all on its own.
Perhaps because it had never faded away.
Though they hadn't known each other for long, that voice felt more real to her than anyone else in her life.
There was no reason. No explanation.
That pure trust was a light before her eyes that wouldn't go out, no matter how far she fell into the darkness—
A hand held out to someone whether she came from a privileged family and was admired by thousands, surrounded by people eager to flatter her and bow their heads, offering gifts in the most abject submission, or had fallen to the bottom, reviled by countless people, shunned by her old circle, and hated by everyone who knew her so much that they would rush over just to kick her.
But what of it?
What did it matter if someone held out a hand?
Because...
"It's too late..."
The girl, who had met the figure from her memories for less than an hour, clenched both fists.
"—I've already ruined his whole life!!!"
Lightning, sharp enough to devour heaven and earth, fill the air, and dissolve it all, raging wildly through the nine heavens—
DESCENDED—HERE—AND—NOW
P.S. Mei's self-destructive urges were actually very strong early on. For instance, she would ask for a bomb to be implanted inside her. Rather than wanting to live, it was more that Kiana wanted her to live, so she kept dragging herself onward to fulfill Kiana's wish.
—and this was even before Kiana's lifespan had dwindled to only three years.
<After Saving the Girls in the Band, They Didn't Want to Let Me Go>
Synopsis:
"Everyone deserves to be loved."
That was a belief Takada Yuichi had firmly held through both of his lives.
His new world had no swords or magic, only an everyday life much like the one he'd known in his previous life.
After being reborn, all he wanted was to live quietly, occasionally lending a hand to those in need. Once he was sure they were all right, he would leave quietly, making sure not to hurt anyone.
—So when did things start spiraling out of control?
Was it when he invited the proud former young lady, whose confidence had crumbled, to dance with him in the rain?
Was it when he was kissed by the doll-like girl crushed by loneliness and despair?
Was it when the bassist who feared trusting others resolutely confessed to him?
Was it when the glamorous, bold blogger blushed and forced him to let her use his lap as a pillow?
Was it when he answered the online friend who'd asked for his help with a study-abroad problem?
Or was it even earlier?
"Why won't they let me go?"
He began to wonder.
"Why don't I want to leave?"
He began to ask himself.
"...Oh, well."
Takada Yuichi gave a helpless smile.
"If they won't let me go, then I won't go."
18. Grey Snake: Elysia? (Revised)
"Third Herrscher, Herrscher of Thunder. Estimated subject: Raiden Mei. System No. 003."
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