Self-Awareness

It was still that mental world filled with memory bubbles. The eerie red-and-black aura had long since seeped into every crevice. The original Mizuki across from him was already so brightly illuminated by red light that his original appearance was no longer discernible. Through the glow, red markings could just barely be seen covering his body.

"Looks like it's almost over. The original Mizuki won't be able to hold out much longer."

Mizuki silently channeled his mental energy and held out both hands. A formation that had originally glimmered faintly gradually shone with a dazzling green light, forming a thin membrane that enveloped the red figure and kept most of the red mist at bay.

"If I hadn't used this Four Symbols Seal, I would've already lost all sense of self to the surging, mutated Senjutsu Chakra. What a pity I haven't mastered the higher-level Eight Trigrams Seal yet. Otherwise, I could've had another massive source of chakra inside me."

After first becoming aware of the mental danger within him, Mizuki had thoroughly analyzed his mental state. Understanding his own sense of self was the most important part. He could sum it up simply as transmigration or possession, but the truth was far more complicated.

Freud's concepts of the ego, id, and superego were too far-fetched and didn't fit his current circumstances. Still, those ideas were only about differences in the mental realm. The key was to distinguish between oneself and others. He undoubtedly had memories of his previous life, but he still didn't understand how his mind had crossed over. He didn't know whether another self had lived out an ordinary life in his place, leaving him as nothing more than a collection of memories that had transmigrated. But none of that mattered. His previous life was behind him; in this life, he was Mizuki. There was no doubt about that. The key was the guy across from him.

In principle, given his willpower as a sheltered flower raised in an era of peace, it was hard to believe he could have possessed the original Mizuki, a determined and stubborn ninja born amid war. The original Mizuki had the advantage in both will and power, and was fighting on his home ground. How could he have been defeated so easily? But it had happened, so there had to be a reason. As for the nature of soul transmigration, there was no doubt that he was far inferior in quality. But the key to turning things around had been the enormous difference in quantity. How could Mizuki's less than thirty years of experience compare with the sheer volume of information generated by the advanced internet technology and knowledge explosion of his previous life? It was like a hacker attack: no matter how powerful the computer, a flood of data beyond its capacity could make it crash in an instant.

When it came to a struggle for the mind, the victor took everything. And there was no such thing as two souls sharing one body for no reason. There was no doubt that Mizuki had died; he knew that because he had inherited everything Mizuki had. The guy across from him was merely the remnant of a soul that had lost everything. If nothing unexpected happened, the original Mizuki would remain dormant until he died, or slowly disappear.

From a philosophical perspective, what was memory? Plato considered it memory and knowledge, though some believed memory was the soul. Either way, memory was the essence, the foundation of self-awareness. That much would never change. These were all matters of subjective experience. The idea that I was my memories fit his current situation. From the moment the original Mizuki lost, he had become Mizuki. The original Mizuki had lost the foundation of his self-awareness; as far as existence went, he was no different from a stone by the roadside. The only difference was that one existed in the real world, while the other existed in the depths of his own soul.

That should have been how it worked. But the Cursed Seal had changed everything.

The Cursed Seal was the result of Orochimaru's research into Sage Mode and Living Corpse Reincarnation. It could erode both body and mind. The damage the Heaven Curse Mark and Earth Curse Mark did to the body was obvious; Mizuki's own Cursed Seal was simply more severe because it was an incomplete version.

As for mental erosion, the Heaven Curse Mark and Earth Curse Mark worked by using Orochimaru's soul backup, preparing the host as a vessel for his reincarnation. Mizuki's Cursed Seal had skipped that step, but the mental erosion came from mutated Senjutsu Chakra instead. In other words, it was the unconscious erosion and assimilation of the entire world. It wasn't as targeted as Orochimaru's soul backup, but it was even more troublesome.

Fortunately, Mizuki hadn't transmigrated when Orochimaru gave him the Cursed Seal. Its main force was still attached to the original Mizuki's soul. In the mental world, this meant the erosion of the figure across from him was far worse than his own. On top of that, he had recently added a Sealing Jutsu formation, greatly reducing the erosion he suffered. Even so, the situation was already serious.

Actually, even though his Cursed Seal was incomplete, it should have reacted to Natural Energy and Senjutsu Chakra. But it shouldn't have reached this level. That was his own fault. After the original Mizuki was possessed, he lost his memories and sense of self, and naturally lost the instinctive defenses of his soul. His mind and body were both left wide open, completely unable to resist. Then Mitaraishi Anko had awakened the seal with a power of the same origin. It was like kindling meeting a spark: once ignited, the fire became impossible to stop. In just over a month, the figure across from him was already nearly finished. He would probably be completely extinguished before long.

"Or maybe, if the world has a collective unconscious, he could become something like a heroic spirit or an agent of the world. That wouldn't be much fun."

He held out a hand and quietly sensed the red aura, but he didn't seem to feel anything.

"No ill intent. It looks eerie, but is that just a matter of aesthetics? Or is the world actually without malice, acting only on instinct and indifference?"

"Hmm? No, that's not right. As the owner of this mental world, changes in color reflect the subconscious mind's defenses. Red is a warning; black means danger. Is the world's instinct alone enough to leave me scrambling to survive? I have to hurry."

At dawn, Mizuki was jolted awake by birdsong.

"The early bird catches the worm."

After opening his eyes and getting out of bed, Mizuki first checked on his precious jellyfish, then looked over the rare plant samples he had been growing. Everything seemed normal, so he went to the bathroom and took a shower.

Looking at himself in the mirror, he saw that his appearance had changed quite a bit.

"My hair's growing too fast. My silver hair, which used to reach my ears, is already past my shoulders. I've already trimmed my bangs once, and they're almost covering my eyes again. And..."

Mizuki rubbed his temples. "My body's in worse shape by the day."

With the original Mizuki's soul fragment acting like a sieve, Natural Energy kept pouring in without end. The damage the Cursed Seal did to his mind was temporarily under control thanks to the Four Symbols Seal, but the strain on his body was just too great. He had to prepare the Evil Sealing Method as soon as possible. But how could he complete the seal without being monitored? He needed to think of something...

At last, Mizuki finished getting ready and headed out. Ever since he received the Third Hokage's orders, he'd been going to work and coming home on time every day, just like in his previous life. It had given him a good taste of the nine-to-five office-worker routine.

But as his health worsened, Mizuki always made time to replenish his energy. His body produced huge amounts of energy at an extremely rapid metabolic rate, only for it to dissipate pointlessly. The result was a severe drain on his body.

"Hey, isn't that the lecherous teacher?"

"Which rude bastard said that? Aren't you worried I'll be cranky if you wake me up?" Mizuki opened his eyes irritably and looked over.

"Huh? Tenten, is that you? Finished your mission? Ah, Might Guy, sorry for being rude." Mizuki took the mission report from her and confirmed that the mission was complete.

"Thanks for looking after my student last time, Mizuki," Might Guy said cheerfully.

"You're giving me too much credit. Your student's excellent. She's putting even a Chunin like me under a lot of pressure. Haha."

"That's the power of youth!" With his thumb raised and teeth gleaming, he was the very picture of a passionate teacher.

"Haha." Mizuki forced a laugh in response. Then, at Might Guy's suggestion, he assigned the Genin a C-rank mission and sent them on their way.

"Man, it sure is easygoing around here."

"You can say that again, Mizuki," someone nearby replied.

"Hm? When did you get here, Iruka? You've gotten much better at concealing your presence."

"Or maybe you've gotten too lax. Dozing off on the job? Be careful, or they'll dock your pay," Iruka teased.

"It's not like I get paid anyway," Mizuki muttered. His salary had been docked for three months already.

"Mizuki, there's a mission request here. Take a look. If there's no problem, we'll classify it as C-rank."

"Okay, let me see."

Mizuki took the mission application and glanced at it. His previously wandering thoughts vanished in an instant.

"The Land of Waves? So soon?"

Maybe Mizuki had misremembered. The mission, the main arc for the protagonist's team before the Chunin Ninja Exams, had taken far longer than he'd imagined. A few old men building a bridge with the productivity of the time couldn't possibly finish in just a day or two. The timing of this request didn't seem all that strange.

"But is there anything in it for us?"

After thinking it over, Mizuki said to Iruka, "Hold on to this for now. I'll go ask for instructions first."

"Huh? It's just an ordinary escort and protection mission. The most likely opponents are ordinary people like bandits or robbers. What's the problem?"

"Hard to say. We'd better be cautious."

With that, Mizuki got up and headed for the Hokage Office.

When he reached the door of the Hokage Office, Mizuki knocked.

"Come in."

Mizuki pushed open the door and entered.

"Lord Third."

"Mizuki? What is it?"

"I just received a mission request. I think there's a problem with it."

"Hmm?"

The Third Hokage picked up the report Mizuki had handed him and looked it over.

"The mission description is straightforward. Based on the client's account, C-rank seems appropriate. Do you have any concerns?"

"Lord Hokage, I think we should look into the details of the mission."

"Look into them?"

"Yes," Mizuki said firmly. "I've been on a mission to the Land of Waves before. It's poor and backward, and local powers have entrenched themselves there, exploiting the people."

"Are you worried they won't be able to pay the fee? Surely no one would dare withhold payment from Konoha Ninja."

"No, Lord Hokage. I suspect the client has misrepresented the mission's rank." Mizuki paused, then continued, "Building a bridge is the sort of thing that can affect everything else. It's no small matter, and it involves too many people's interests. We can't rule out someone taking a risk."

"Hmm." The Third Hokage thought it over, then said, "You make a good point, but investigating the client before the mission begins wouldn't be appropriate. Besides, Konoha is short on manpower, so we can't send anyone all the way to the Land of Waves. We'll leave it at that for now. I'll assign suitable people to carry out the mission."

"Understood. Sorry to have bothered you."

With that, Mizuki withdrew.

"History has too much momentum. Until you have enough power and influence, it's incredibly difficult to change anything. But it's not without its benefits. Maybe making a little name for myself will lead to an unexpected reward."

"But Demon Zabuza and Haku are both beyond me right now, and my body isn't in good shape either. Finishing the Evil Sealing Method comes first."