Self-Awareness

It was that same mental world filled with bubbles of memory. The eerie red and black aura had long since permeated every corner, and the original Mizuki opposite me was glowing with such a bright red light that his original form was no longer discernible. Through the crimson glow, one could vaguely see red patterns spreading across his entire body.

"It seems it's almost time; the original Mizuki can't hold on much longer."

Mizuki silently channeled his mental energy and extended his hands. A previously dim magic circle gradually emitted a blinding green light, forming a thin membrane of energy that enveloped the red figure, sealing off the vast majority of the red mist within.

If not for this Four Symbols Seal, I would have long since lost my sense of self to the surging, mutated Sage Chakra. It's a pity I haven't mastered the higher-level Eight Trigrams Seal; otherwise, I could have added a massive source of chakra to my body.

After first realizing the mental hazards within him, Mizuki had conducted a detailed analysis of his own psychological state. Dissecting his ego was the top priority. While one could simply summarize it as "transmigration" or "possession," the reality was far from simple.

Regarding the concepts of ego, id, and superego mentioned in Freudian theory, they were far too exaggerated and didn't fit the current situation. However, such distinctions were merely differences in mental realms; the key was to distinguish between self and others. Undoubtedly, I possess the memories of my past life, but how my consciousness transmigrated remains unclear. Whether there still exists a "self" that replaced me to live out an ordinary life, or if I am merely a collection of memories that transmigrated, remains unknown. But that is irrelevant. My past life has drifted away, and I am the Mizuki of this world—that much is certain. The key is the guy on the other side.

In terms of intent, given the willpower of a "greenhouse flower" born in a peaceful era, it is hard to believe I could have possessed the original Mizuki—a ninja born in war, possessing a firm and paranoid will. With superior willpower and strength, and fighting on his own home turf, how could he have been defeated so easily? Yet, since reality has played out this way, there must be a reason. Regarding the nature of soul-transmigration, I am undoubtedly inferior in quality, but the key to the reversal lies in the massive disparity in quantity. With Mizuki's experience of less than thirty years, how could he compare to the sheer volume of information generated by the internet-driven, knowledge-exploding era of my past life? It's like a hacker attack; no matter how powerful the computing capacity, if it encounters a flood of data far exceeding its threshold, it will crash instantly.

In a battle for the mind, the winner takes all. And there is no such thing as a "dual-soul" existence without a cause. Undoubtedly, Mizuki is dead; I know this because I have obtained everything that was his. The guy opposite me is merely a soul-residue that has lost everything. Barring any accidents, Mizuki will remain in a state of silence or slowly fade away until he dies.

Philosophically speaking, what is memory? Plato believed it was knowledge, while others argue that memory is the soul. Regardless, memory is the essence and the foundation of self-awareness; that will not change. These are all subjective things. "I am my memories" fits the current situation perfectly. From the moment the original Mizuki failed, I became Mizuki. Once the original Mizuki lost the foundation of self-awareness, he became no different from a stone by the roadside in terms of existence. The only difference is that one exists in the physical world, while the other exists within the soul of the self.

That should have been the case, but because of the Curse Mark, everything changed.

The Curse Mark is the result of Orochimaru's research into Sage Mode and Living Corpse Reincarnation, possessing the ability to erode both body and mind. The physical damage caused by the Heaven Curse Mark, the Earth Curse Mark, and my own is obvious, though my semi-finished version is even more severe.

Regarding mental erosion, the Heaven and Earth Curse Marks erode through Orochimaru's soul backups, preparing the host as a vessel for reincarnation. My Curse Mark skipped that step, but the mental erosion was replaced by mutated Sage Chakra—in other words, the unconscious erosion and assimilation of the world itself. While not as targeted as Orochimaru's soul backups, it is far more troublesome.

Fortunately, I hadn't transmigrated when Orochimaru bestowed the mark, so the main body of the curse remained on the original Mizuki's soul. In the mental world, this meant the erosion on the other side was far more severe than on mine. Coupled with the sealing technique I performed a while ago, the erosion on my mind was greatly reduced. Even so, it was already quite serious.

In truth, while my Curse Mark is incomplete and might react to natural energy and Sage Chakra, it shouldn't have reached this level. This is actually my own fault. The original Mizuki was possessed by me, losing his memories and self, and naturally, he lost the instinctive defenses of his soul. With both mind and body wide open, he lost all ability to resist. Added to that, the stimulation from Anko Mitarashi's homologous power was like a spark hitting firewood; once ignited, it became unstoppable. In less than a month, the other side is already on the verge of being finished. I estimate he will completely vanish before long.

"Or perhaps, if there is a collective unconscious in this world, he might turn into something like a Heroic Spirit or an agent of the world. That wouldn't be fun at all."

I reached out to quietly feel the red aura, but I seemed to sense nothing.

"No malice? Although it looks eerie, is it merely an aesthetic issue? Or is it that the world has no malice, and this is just the result of instinct and indifference?"

"Hmm? No, as the master of this mental world, the change in color reflects subconscious vigilance. Red is a warning, black is a hazard. Is the world's mere instinct enough to keep me running ragged? I need to hurry."

Early in the morning, Mizuki was startled awake by the chirping of birds.

"The early bird gets the worm, I suppose."

Mizuki opened his eyes, got out of bed, and first checked on his precious jellyfish, then looked at the rare plant samples he was growing. Everything was normal. He then walked into the bathroom to take a shower, feeling relieved.

Looking at his reflection in the mirror, his appearance had changed significantly.

"My hair is growing too fast. The silver hair that used to reach my ears is now past my shoulders. I've already trimmed the bangs once, and they're about to cover my eyes again. And..."

Mizuki rubbed his temples. "My physical condition is getting worse."

With the original Mizuki's soul-residue acting as a massive leak, natural energy is invading incessantly. The mental damage from the Curse Mark is temporarily controlled by the Four Symbols Seal, but the toll on my body is simply too great. I need to prepare the Evil Sealing Method as soon as possible, but how can I complete the seal without being monitored? I need to think of a way.

Finally finished with his preparations, Mizuki headed out. Ever since receiving the Third Hokage's orders, he had been clocking in and out as punctually as he did in his past life, reliving the feeling of a white-collar worker's nine-to-five.

However, Mizuki, whose body was deteriorating, always found time to replenish his energy. His body was generating massive amounts of energy through an extremely high metabolic rate, only for it to dissipate pointlessly, leaving his body in a state of severe depletion.

"Ah, isn't this the lecherous teacher?"

"Which bastard is so rude? Don't you know better than to disturb someone's sleep and risk their morning grumpiness?" Mizuki opened his eyes, annoyed.

"Oh, isn't this Tenten? Finished with your mission? Ah, Might Guy, my apologies for the rudeness." Mizuki took the mission report and confirmed its completion.

"Thank you for looking after my student last time, Mizuki," Might Guy said heartily.

"You're too kind. Your students are excellent. They make even a Chunin like me feel a lot of pressure. Haha."

"That is the essence of youth!" A thumbs-up accompanied by a flash of teeth—the passionate teacher persona was in full effect.

"Haha." Mizuki offered a forced laugh. Following Might Guy's request, he arranged a C-rank mission for the Genin and left.

"Sigh, it really is leisurely."

"That's for sure, Mizuki," someone next to him chimed in.

"Hmm? Iruka, when did you get here? Your ability to hide your presence has improved significantly."

"Maybe you're just getting lazy. Dosing off on the job—be careful, or you'll get your pay docked." Iruka teased.

"I don't have any pay anyway," Mizuki muttered under his breath. His three months of salary had long since been withheld.

"Mizuki, there's a request here. Take a look. If there are no issues, we'll classify it as C-rank."

"Hmm, let me see."

Taking the mission application, Mizuki glanced at it, and his distracted mind was instantly cleared.

"Land of Waves? So soon?"

Perhaps Mizuki had miscalculated. As the most important "dungeon" for the protagonist team before the Chunin Exams, the time spent on this mission was far greater than he had imagined. For a few old men to build a bridge with the current level of productivity, it didn't seem like a one- or two-day job. It didn't seem too strange for the request to come in at this point in time.

"But, is there any profit to be made?"

After thinking for a moment, Mizuki said to Iruka, "Hold on to this for a second. I need to go ask for instructions first."

"Eh? It's just a standard escort and protection mission. The biggest threat is likely just bandits or robbers—ordinary people. Is there something wrong with it?"

"Hard to say, better to be cautious."

After saying this, Mizuki stood up and headed toward the Hokage Office.

Arriving at the door of the Hokage Office, Mizuki knocked.

"Come in."

Mizuki pushed the door open and entered.

"Lord Third."

"It's Mizuki? What is it?"

"I just received a mission request, and I feel there is a problem with it."

"Hm?"

The Third picked up the report Mizuki presented and looked it over.

"The mission description is very simple. According to the client's statement, a C-rank classification is appropriate. Do you have any questions?"

"Lord Third, regarding the mission details, I feel we need to conduct an investigation."

"An investigation?"

"Yes," Mizuki affirmed. "I once passed through the Land of Waves on a mission. It is poor and ignorant, occupied by local forces that prey upon the villagers."

"Are you suspecting they won't have the money to pay the reward? No one would dare to default on a Konoha ninja's commission."

"That's not it, Lord Hokage. I suspect the client lied about the mission rank." Mizuki paused and said, "Building a bridge is a matter that affects the whole situation; it is by no means a small affair. It involves the interests of too many people, and one cannot rule out the possibility of someone taking a desperate risk."

"Hm." The Third listened, thought for a moment, and said, "What you say makes sense, but investigating a client before a mission begins is inappropriate. Furthermore, Konoha is short on manpower and cannot afford to send anyone all the way to the Land of Waves. Let's leave it at this for now. I will arrange for appropriate personnel to complete the mission."

"I understand. Sorry to have disturbed you."

Having said that, Mizuki withdrew.

The inertia of history is too great. Without sufficient strength and influence, making changes is extremely difficult. However, it is not without its benefits; building up my presence might lead to unexpected gains.

Still, Demon Zabuza and Haku are not opponents I can handle at the moment, and my own body is not in peak condition. Completing the Evil Sealing Method is the priority.