Resurrection is Useless

Frieza stared fixedly at Trunks, the hatred in his eyes not so easily extinguished; after all, this was the guy who had sent him off to get cozy with King Yemma.

Trunks wore a bizarre expression. Damn it, I don't even know you, so why are you looking at me like that? This guy isn't some kind of gay pedophile, is he... Holy crap, my imagination is running wild.

Trunks' young face shifted constantly, twisted in a way that made it impossible to tell what he was thinking.

"I say, you must be that idiot emperor Frieza, the one who tried to act tough on Namek, got beaten like a dog by my dad, tried to come to Earth for revenge, and then got finished off by Trunks, right?"

Frieza's brow twitched violently. What was this brat saying? Didn't he know it was rude to hit a man when he was down? Bastard. Frieza glared in fury.

"Then you must be that Cell who tried to act tough, angered my big brother, and got beaten until not even a scrap was left." Son Goten's tone, as casual as if he were discussing the weather, made Cell's face contort.

"Bastard, who the hell are you? I never saw you seven years ago," Cell growled at Son Goten.

"Me?" A wild, arrogant smirk curled the corner of Son Goten's mouth. "I'm Son Goten, the posthumous son of Son Goku and the younger brother of Son Gohan. You were already beaten to death by my brother before I was even born."

Posthumous... son? The hell? Even if my math teacher died young, I can still do the math—you're only seven years old this year and you're already taller than your dad, you little shit!!!

Cell exploded instantly, his inner primordial power spiraling out of control. He roared, "Are you kidding me? A seven-year-old kid who's six feet tall? Even if Saiyans grow fast, they don't grow that fast! Can't you come up with a more believable lie, you piece of trash?"

Everyone stared at the sputtering, saliva-spraying Cell in utter confusion. Son Gohan was even more bewildered. Holy crap, are you really Cell? Impossible, you must be an impostor.

Son Gohan walked blankly toward Cell and, under the suspicious gazes of the crowd, performed an action that left everyone's jaws on the floor.

"Hey, Son Gohan, what are you doing... Holy crap, stop clawing at me, damn it, let go!"

Son Gohan was pinching and pulling at Cell's face with both hands, scaring the Supreme Kai so badly he nearly wet himself. Good heavens, that's a legendary powerhouse!

"It's actually real," Son Gohan muttered, stunned by the realistic texture of Cell's face. "That's impossible. Cell shouldn't be such a clown!"

Seeing Son Gohan let go, Cell jumped back to put some distance between them, clutching his swollen, pinched face with a look of wounded grievance, terrified that Gohan might have developed a habit for it.

"Pfft~"

Everyone clamped their hands over their mouths to keep from laughing. Even Frieza was pursing his lips, looking like he was struggling to hold back a laugh at the absurdity of it all.

"Ahem."

Cell's face flushed red, and he coughed in embarrassment.

Son Goten chuckled and clenched his fists. "No matter. I was getting a bit bored of bullying Buu anyway; beating you guys up for a change will do just fine!"

"Hmm?" Frieza was stunned for a moment, then covered his mouth and chuckled. "Ho ho, kids these days are so arrogant. Let me tell you, back then..."

"Bang."

"Know when to shut your mouth while your father is acting tough, got it?" Son Goten said with disdain, looking down at Frieza, whom he had slapped into the dirt. That slap felt pretty good.

"!"

"!"

Cell watched Son Goten with a grave expression. He hadn't even seen Son Goten move. Frieza was even more bewildered. Damn it, why am I eating dirt?!

Son Gohan and Trunks looked at Son Goten with strange expressions, feeling that their younger brother (friend) had changed quite a bit.

"Damn it, I am Frie... za."

"Boom."

Frieza struggled to stand up, desperate to fight Son Goten, but Son Goten merely glanced at him coldly and kicked him into the stone wall without a change in expression.

"Your turn!" Son Goten smiled at Cell, but to Cell, it looked like the smile of a devil. He activated his Flight Technique, desperate to escape into the distance.

"Heh."

Son Goten didn't chase him. He watched quietly as Cell fled in a panic, then lazily raised his hand toward Cell's back. With a bang, a yellow energy wave erupted from his palm, shooting toward Cell like a cannonball.

"Ahhh!"

Cell watched in despair as the energy wave closed in, swallowing him without mercy. His scream, echoing through the universe, rang out like a tolling funeral bell.

"Sigh, look at that. That's the price for acting tough in front of me," Son Goten said, lecturing Frieza.

Frieza had a thousand curses he wanted to throw at Son Goten's face. Damn it, Cell didn't even say a word, how was he acting tough? You killed him without him even doing anything, have you no shame?!

"So, next time you get resurrected, don't act tough in front of me, understand?" Son Goten said meaningfully, his eyes radiating an unreserved killing intent that nearly made Frieza wet himself.

Placing one hand on Frieza's chest, Son Goten waved his other hand with a smile, as if saying goodbye to an old friend. "Bye-bye!"

"Boom."

The energy wave detonated, engulfing Frieza's form. When it cleared, there was no one left.