' Coleman is Illumi's property.'
This sentence has been deeply ingrained in Illumi's mind since he became conscious.
But at the same time, this sentence does not have any other meaning, and even the "thing" in it is really the thing of the object.
Like other water cups and pens, Coleman is not considered human in Illumi's eyes.
'He' was his thing, like the dagger he always carried, or the nail he kept in his pocket.
It's like the air floating around Illumi.
It's optional, yet indispensable.
Illumi had long been used to Coleman hanging around him. No, that's not quite right. It should be said that Illumi wasn't used to not having Coleman running around him.
After all, the twins have been together since birth.
Just as a person can't live without a shadow, Xiao Yi always believed that Xiao Ke would always be by her side, like his shadow.
Therefore, it was only natural and quite inevitable for him to include his white-haired, red-eyed younger brother in the category of 'himself'.
He is a part of her, which can be understood as Xiao Yi's hands and feet. In short, no matter what she does, Xiao Yi will think of Xiao Ke first. Similarly, no matter what she encounters, Xiao Yi will ignore Xiao Ke first.
After all, no one is always concerned about their hands or feet, and no one is always indifferent to their hands or feet.
Just as Illumi understood Coleman, so too did Coleman understand Illumi.
At least that's the case with Illumi.
Coleman, his own brother, never treated him like a human being.
Without even needing to think about it, Illumi accepted this setting naturally, and even with great satisfaction.
Twins should theoretically be one person, so he should be me, or rather, half of me.
In each other's eyes, their status is never equal.
Just as no one would consider their own hand as themselves, no one would consider their own cup as themselves.
Their relationship was always so strange, yet so harmonious.
So harmonious, in fact, that Illumi could discern what the other was thinking with just a single thought.
And because of this, Illumi never worried that Coleman would betray him or leave abruptly.
Because that would be betraying oneself, which is just too strange.
As for why outsiders think their relationship is twisted, Illumi says he doesn't understand it at all.
They are clearly perfectly harmonious and harmonious halves.
As for freedom?
Why should I give my partner so much freedom? As long as my subjective consciousness is within the bounds of freedom, shouldn't my partner's body absolutely obey?
That explanation is too convoluted, so Illumi never explains his relationship with Coleman.
Firstly, because it wasn't necessary; both Coleman and he were indifferent and quite comfortable with the harmonious relationship.
Secondly...
Which member of the Zoldyck isn't sick?
If you count on your fingers, only your father is normal in the family.
But Illumi didn't know what crazy things this middle-aged assassin had done in his youth, so he couldn't be sure that his father was completely normal.
After all, would a perfectly normal person marry someone like their mother?
Perhaps, then Illumi can only marvel at the greatness of love.
You see, of all these kids, only that little psychopath Coleman could completely adapt to Kikyo's occasional screaming attacks.
Pushing aside the various thoughts in his mind, Illumi concluded that he always felt he was quite normal.
She's just a little bit greedy.
He was a little stricter with his younger brother, who was about to become the head of the family.
That's about it.
Illumi automatically ignored his possessiveness towards Coleman.
After all, how can this be called possessiveness?
Would a person completely disregard their partner's body, even allowing it to develop independent, extreme, or strange thoughts?
I doubt any normal person would have that, right?
How can someone's mind want to eat while their body insists on going to the toilet?
Wouldn't that be considered a split personality?
Illumi couldn't imagine such a bizarre scenario, so he would occasionally look for his other half.
He felt this was a necessary action.
Coleman also felt that way.
Therefore, the two maintained a magical relationship that was both intimate and distant.
Even so, they were mocked by their mutual friend (who was just a tool) Hisoka as two perverts.
Illumi interpreted this as the jealousy of someone without brothers and simply ignored it.
He's perfectly normal; he doesn't do performance art, nor is he extreme enough to seek death.
It was just an ordinary job, earning ordinary money, and then buying desserts for my younger brother in an ordinary way.
Every now and then, I would look for the playful big white cat and little cat, and teach them a lesson, fulfilling my responsibilities as the eldest son.
Illumi believed that this normal life would continue indefinitely.
Until one day when I turned eighteen.
That day was no different from any other; Illumi remained the assassin who walked the night.
Get tasks, complete tasks, collect kills, and exchange them for money.
His movements were fluid and seamless, and he even broke his own assassination record.
But for some inexplicable reason, when he looked at the blood moon in the sky, he always felt that something was about to be lost.
Illumi checked all his personal belongings, including his phone and wallet.
Everything was found to be complete.
For some inexplicable reason, he got through to Coleman on the phone.
Coleman remained listless and lifeless, slowly asking what was wrong.
Illumi knew it was because his mother had been being harsh on someone's desserts lately.
But inexplicably, he found the thing he was about to throw away.
Ah, it seems he's about to disappear.
Coleman is disappearing.
The feeling was like a line of text suddenly appearing and flashing through my mind for a moment.
Brief yet clear.
Illumi thought he would become anxious, angry, or even unable to resist killing.
But he didn't do any of that; he didn't even question Coleman.
He simply said, as if nothing out of the ordinary, "Oh, I brought you some snacks, remember to eat them."
On the other end of the line, Coleman was cheering, but Illumi wasn't in the mood to listen any longer. He simply offered a few words of comfort and reminded the cat not to eat too much, lest it get a stomachache that night, before hanging up.
Aside from that little incident, Illumi did everything he usually did that day: completed all his tasks, collected his money, and went home.
However, the black-haired man, who always chose to sleep according to the prescribed schedule, sat alone on the rooftop all night that day.
He was soaked by the morning dew, but he made no attempt to use his Nen to dry it off.
I just sat quietly until the sun rose higher and brought some warmth.
Illumi stretched his stiff arms, slipped past all the servants, and left the house.
He did nothing that day, turning down all his tasks.
I walked all the roads in the Zoldyck compound and also made a trip to the casino Coleman frequented.
The days that followed were no different from before, except that Illumi was no longer so demanding of someone's little cake.
Later, a whole host of messy things happened, causing Illumi and Coleman to spend less and less time together.
But this had no effect on Illumi.
He even had the leisure to make fun of himself.
Is this preparation for someone's departure? Well, that's fine.
But days without White Fur wandering around are always monotonous.
However, that red-haired guy wasn't exactly easy to deal with either, taking up most of Illumi's energy.
Then, one time Illumi got bored and started fighting Hisoka.
That day was a blood moon.
Because Hisoka had just gone to "play" with Chrollo, the fight ended quickly.
The moon was still high in the sky when Illumi was already drinking the soda he had prepared in advance.
While fiddling with his phone's contacts, he noticed the name ' Coleman '.
Then, in the next instant...
It disappeared.
The speed was just right, not too fast or too slow, so that Illumi could see it clearly.
Each stroke, as if erased by an eraser, slowly fades away with the passage of time.
Illumi stared blankly, as if time had frozen.
Illumi blinked until those three words completely disappeared.
A tear rolled down her cheek, disappearing into her collar.
"What's wrong?" Hisoka, who had just recovered from his shock, asked, rubbing his sore shoulders.
He must have misread it, it just doesn't seem like...
feel...
Does it look like Illumi is about to cry?
Are you kidding me? This is Illumi!
His emotions were fleeting, Illumi quickly composed himself, looking up at the moon in the sky.
After a long while, the aloof, noble-looking young man with black hair slowly spoke.
"Fine."
The voice was somewhat hoarse, as if something was blocking it.
"Fine."
Illumi repeating himself, not even knowing what he was repeating.
In short, nothing's wrong.
Nothing happened.
It's just that something was lost.
It's just lost.