Vacuum Cleaner vs. Mouth

Experiments proved I had an attribute for rotten luck.

At first, I had thought that since I had already traveled this road twice, nothing unexpected would happen.

But as we passed through the war-torn lands of the Northern Continent, the unexpected still happened.

I did not know if someone had recognized me on the road. After all, fiery-red hair was easy to spot.

The country whose five hundred slave-transport soldiers I had wiped out before decided to lock horns with me this time. They sent a large number of troops to intercept me on the road.

For that, they even hired a Saint-tier magician, intending to use Saint-tier magic to defend against my magic. Was there really any need? I had only killed five hundred of his soldiers and freed a thousand slaves, that was all.

If those soldiers had not come looking for trouble with us, would I have gone so far as to kill them?

Facing a great army bearing down on me, I did not feel particularly afraid. I only felt a headache at the thought of having to cause another slaughter. Though I was no pacifist, I basically still followed the principle that if people did not offend me, I would not offend them.

As for the ordinary soldiers who were about to be killed by my magic, I did not want to cause too much slaughter either. Buddha once said, when hatred repays hatred, when will it ever end? After all, I did not have time right now to go to this country's royal capital and kill their king once and for all. The most important thing right now was hurrying on to Sharia.

I rose into the air, preparing to cast the earth-element Saint-tier spell: Great Earth Alabaster, to scare these soldiers a little.

But it failed. The opposing Saint-tier magician also used earth-element magic and canceled out my spell.

We were too far apart for me to hear the incantation he used to cast his magic, so I did not know what spell he had used.

Then I thought of how Eris had worshiped me using magic before, and wanted to put on one big show.

I flew to a spot a hundred meters in front of the opposing army, and all kinds of arrows and low-tier magic were already flying toward me.

I controlled my flight to dodge them, and began the incantation:

"O progenitor of the azure atmosphere, Oracle, god who coils the vortex—dwell within my palm, siphoning power that rends space and time! Pierce the void with storm-forged bonds, and let the living and the dead alike return to dust! Spiral blade that cleaves the darkness, drain dry the source of life from all things!"

Mana Drain Vortex

This was another King-tier spell I had learned in the Tear Stain Sanctuary back then.

The effect of the spell was to create a super magical tornado. Since I cast it from the air, it became two tornadoes, like an hourglass, spinning around me as the center.

Anyone scraped by the tornado would be swept into the sky, then drained dry of mana and die.

This was no ordinary tornado. It was a tornado that absorbed mana. Aside from me at the center, nothing else could escape the fate of having its mana drained dry.

It was extremely powerful, and it was also the first magic I had ever come into contact with that absorbed mana. All the mana it absorbed would feed back into me.

So in theory, as long as the tornado affected a great many people, this skill could be cast many times after absorbing their mana.

As expected of magic created by the Ancient Elves. If people in the modern age learned this, I doubted any country would send ordinary people into battle anymore.

Doing that would just turn them into power banks for the enemy magician.

With the enormous tornado centered on me, I could have flown over and killed the opposing army down to the last man. But I still spared most of them. Only a few unlucky soldiers standing at the front were caught up by the tornado.

After the other side saw such terrifying magic, the army scattered and fled.

Seeing that the people had more or less left, I dispelled the magic and returned to the convoy, continuing this journey.

Eris was no longer chattering away like last time when I fought the Red Dragon. She seemed a little silent.

I was a bit worried about her, but during our rest time, when I saw her practicing the Sword God Style with Ghislaine even more seriously, I felt relieved.

She had always been that kind of girl. In the past, she had been younger than me, and I had been a little stronger than her, so she could probably accept it normally.

But now, the strength I had displayed was already far beyond what she had imagined. She probably also felt a sense of urgency, thinking she might never be able to keep up with me in her lifetime.

That was very good. I liked that mad Sword King Eris even more, the one who worked hard to improve herself so she could stand in front of the person she liked. If this world lost her, it would probably lose a great deal of its color!

The days that followed were especially peaceful. Eight months after leaving the Conflict Zone, we arrived at our destination this time, Sharia.

This time, it took less time than when I had returned from Forest Song City last time. Perhaps that was because I was more familiar with the route. After all, I had already traveled it three times.

Dragon God Calendar: November 12, Year 417

Early in the morning, our group entered the city gate. We did not stop much along the way, and I headed for the villa I had bought here before.

When we arrived at the villa entrance, the door was gently pushed open by a wheat-colored-haired girl. Seeing her holding a broom, I guessed she was probably preparing to take advantage of the morning to clean the courtyard.

But when she turned back and saw me, her broom fell to the ground.

Seeing tears seeping into the corners of her eyes, her expression kept shifting between surprise and crying.

I smiled at her, opened my arms wide, and said, "Doris, I'm back."

The girl did not act coy either. With the morning dew condensing into beads at the corners of her eyes, she threw herself into my arms.

Two years of waiting had already let her store up enough longing. Taking advantage of the courage born from her excitement, she grabbed my cheeks in both hands, and her warm lips tightly blocked off the thoughts of longing I had wanted to voice.

At this moment, I knew that no words could compare to answering her with an intense response.

While Doris and I were gnawing at each other, Eris, Philip, and Hilda behind me all looked at one another. His fiancée was still right here, yet he had started gnawing on another woman right in front of her. He really did not treat them as outsiders at all.

Philip glanced at Hilda and said, "Are the people of your Prodia Family all this passionate now?"

Hilda rubbed her forehead and said helplessly, "Don't ask me. Is it possible that it's because your daughter doesn't have the slightest bit of femininity? She doesn't know how to express her love at all. Look at that girl—she rushed over without saying a word, and the moment she arrived, it was a round of kisses.

"Action is the best display. How can a girl who practices swordsmanship every day win a man's favor?"

Eris felt as if the veins on her forehead were about to pop out.

Before I received the three of them's condemnation, I pulled away my somewhat swollen red lips.

Then I said to Doris, "Doris, this is Eris Boreas Greyrat. She is my fiancée."

"And these two are Philip Boreas Greyrat and Hilda Boreas Greyrat. They are Eris's parents."

"And this is Ghislaine Dedoldia. She is their bodyguard, and also more or less my Sword God Style teacher."

"Philip and Hilda may be living here long-term from now on, so you may be seeing a lot of each other. I hope you can get along well and look after one another."

Doris took a step forward, bowed, and replied, "Hello, everyone. I am Doris Prodia Greyrat. At present, I suppose I am Master's slave. I look forward to your guidance."

...I had forgotten Doris was still calling herself my slave. This was a little awkward.

Philip asked Hilda, "Does your family have a girl named Doris?"

Aunt Hilda gave him an amused look and answered, "No, our family definitely does not have any girl named Doris. Dolin must have changed her name for her, right?"

To keep them from overthinking it, I explained, "Doris was a slave my grandfather kidnapped from outside in the past. She was actually the daughter of a minor noble. I rescued her from my grandfather, so I changed her name for her. That's all."

"Let's not stand around at the front door. Hurry up and come in! Doris, after traveling all morning, I'm starving. I want to eat the toast sandwiches you make, with ham and egg in the middle. Could you prepare some for me?"

"Of course, Master. I will prepare them for everyone right away."

Then we all entered the house together. During the walk from the entrance to the living room, the soft flesh at my waist remained under constant attack. As expected of a Sword God Style swordswoman, Eris's pinching strength was much stronger than Isolte's.

If there was any part of my body that could take the most punishment, it was definitely my waist. I had already trained myself to the powerful realm where it looked soft and satisfying to pinch, yet in reality I still could not feel pain.

As an old senior in transmigration, I hoped everyone could be as blessed as I was, enjoying such fortune of having both beauties in harmony.

After we reached the living room and set down our luggage, I silently drew Eris's hand away from my waist and back into my own hand. Then I assigned rooms to everyone.

After all, this was a villa I had bought for more than two thousand gold coins. Its actual size was far bigger than the haunted house Rudy would later live in. When I was choosing a house, I had seen that haunted house too, and for a while I had wanted to pick that place.

But in the end, I gave up on it. After all, that was Rudy's destined opportunity. Without that house, there would be no Magic Armor, and later history would change greatly as well.

Since I had already taken Eris, I did not want to go that far. After all, as the protagonist, Rudy still had many merits. At the very least, he never betrayed trust or abandoned righteousness. After he made something of himself, he would still think of his former companions. He was much better than a certain protagonist from domestic novels, the kind who acted like a gentleman to your face and a petty villain behind your back.

After assigning the rooms, I brought Eris to the room I lived in. She looked a little sullen. Looking at her face, I did not say any words of comfort.

I lifted her face, then kissed those delicate, radiant lips.

She pushed me away. "Peh, peh, peh. Don't use a mouth that's kissed other women to kiss me."

"Eris, have you forgotten what your grandfather said? You are the person I swore to protect for my entire life. Although you won't be the only woman at my side in the future, you are the one who formed a contract with me earliest. I will fulfill the promise I made to your grandfather that day and protect you for the rest of your life."

Under the assault of sweet words, I once again moved in front of her, lifted her face just like before, and kissed her deeply. As if she were trying to compete, this time she did not refuse me. Instead, she kissed me even more fiercely than Doris had just now.

Calling it a kiss might be a bit of a problem, because it was not kissing at all, but sucking on my lips. It was as if she had mustered all her strength, determined to suck my mouth into a fat sausage. I patted her back and got no reaction at all. In the end, only by pinching her butt did I stop her vacuum cleaner.

"Eris, do you know how to kiss?"

In the space between my words, I cast a beginner healing spell, Healing, on my mouth.

Eris said disdainfully, "What's so hard about it? I already saw it just now. Isn't it just sucking on your lips?"

Sigh. I pressed a palm to my forehead. Aunt Hilda, is this how you taught your daughter? I really should have Eris go to Aunt Hilda and study more on how to become womanly.

"Lie down on the bed. I'll teach you. Don't make any other movements. Open your teeth. I'll take the lead and let you enjoy it for once."

Then came a standard French kiss. To make her lose herself in it, my hand unconsciously slipped into her inner clothes and kneaded away. The little girl was defeated very quickly.

"Hmph. Do you know what kissing is now? If you don't, it doesn't matter. I'll teach you plenty from now on."

Eris's face was flushed completely red, and she covered her eyes with her arm, not daring to look at me.

I did not linger in the room too long either. This matter could not be rushed. Her parents were still in the living room.

After we ate breakfast together, I asked Doris about what had happened at Ranoa University of Magic over the past few years.

"There have not been many major events at Ranoa University of Magic these past few years. Mainly two things."

"First, Princess Ariel came to the academy to study a little over a year ago, and with the help of her guards, she easily became the academy's student council president."

"Second, two Beast-kin women came to the special students' class around the same time as Eris. They ran wild and threw their weight around at school, took in many Beast-kin as underlings, and bullied many classmates. But in the end, they were defeated by Ariel's guards, and now they are lying low in the special class."

"Master, when you previously said, 'Someone you definitely know, but would never expect, will come to Ranoa University of Magic to study,' you meant Lady Ariel, right?"

"Mm, yes. I meant her. How is it? Have you made contact with her?"

"Yes, Master. After I approached her, she was very surprised that I was studying at this school. After all, the last time I saw her was when I was four. But later, after I gave her my full name, she suddenly seemed to understand the reason. I have not joined their student council for now, but she still often sends people to ask about your recent situation."

"Good. That's enough. You still have class today, right? Take me to the school to find her. Uncle Philip, please wait a little. I will go communicate with Ariel first. Tomorrow, I will bring you with me to visit her. What do you think?"

"No problem. I'm not in any hurry. In any case, there isn't much I can do right now. One day more or one day less won't make much of a difference."

"Good. Then we'll set off in a bit."

Eris's face was still a little red. After glancing at me, she turned her head to look in another direction.

"Eris, your current goal is to improve your strength and protect our home. So when I go out, I'll be relying on you to guard this home."

"Hmph, I really can't do anything with you. Then I'll be responsible for protecting our home!"

Too easy!

After that, once Doris finished clearing the tableware, I went with her to Ranoa University of Magic.