Yajirobe: That old man Master Roshi, you have no idea how ridiculous he is

Yajirobe's snoring bounced around the cramped space like it had surround sound.

Chen Mo turned over, his blanket slipping down to reveal his round belly, cookie crumbs still clinging to the corner of his mouth.

Leaning against the wall, he stared at the line on the system panel.

[Note: Target's current location—Northern Mountains. Searching for Dr. Gero's laboratory.]

She really had gone.

Chen Mo knocked the back of his head lightly against the concrete wall twice.

In the original story, Cell's incubation tank had been sealed. From the outside, it was just a huge jar full of liquid.

Even if Android 18 found the lab and saw that thing, she might not open it.

But what if?

What if she thought that since she was already there, she might as well wipe out the entire lab?

If that incubation tank blew up and Cell's embryo died, that would save them the trouble.

But what if it didn't get destroyed completely and activated him early?

"Why are you banging your head against the wall instead of sleeping?"

Yajirobe's muffled voice came from beneath the blanket.

"Did I wake you?"

"No. I was already awake."

He rolled over and sat up, rubbing his eyes before letting out an enormous yawn.

"If you can't sleep, let's talk." Yajirobe found his water bottle and took a swig. "It's still a long way till dawn anyway. We can't leave until at least an hour after sunrise. If we set out too early, we won't see the potholes on the road. Break a leg, and you can forget about doing anything."

Chen Mo glanced at him.

"You don't seem like the type to start a conversation."

"I'm not. But you banging your head against the wall is more annoying than my snoring."

Chen Mo smiled and shifted into a more comfortable position against the wall.

"Then you start," Chen Mo said. "Everything I know about the Z Fighters is secondhand. Some of the details must be off."

"What do you want to hear?"

"Start from the beginning." Chen Mo rolled his neck. "Before the Saiyans invaded, how did you all end up together?"

Yajirobe curled his lip.

"Ended up together? What do you think we were, some kind of gang?" He patted his stomach. "Goku dragged me there by force."

"Back then, I was training in the mountains, eating Senzu Beans and practicing with my sword by myself. Life was good. Then Goku started looking everywhere for people, going on about how the Saiyans were coming and we had to train together."

"And you went."

"Korin told me to." There was a hint of grievance in Yajirobe's voice. "You think I wanted to go? Training on Kami's Lookout with a bunch of people for an entire year. Tien Shinhan got up at four every morning to practice martial arts, Krillin practiced energy blasts every day, and Chiaotzu even used telekinesis to hold his bowl while he ate. A bunch of maniacs."

"And you?"

"I slept until nine, got up for breakfast, practiced swordsmanship for two hours in the afternoon, then went to sleep after dinner."

The corner of Chen Mo's mouth twitched.

"And then you still went to the battlefield."

"I went," Yajirobe said. "And nearly died there."

He fell silent for two seconds.

"You know about the Saibamen, right? Those green monsters planted in the ground, popping out in groups. Yamcha died to one of those things."

"I know."

"Yamcha..." Yajirobe scratched his head. "His fighting strength really was pathetic. But he wasn't a bad guy. Before he died, he said something to me."

"What did he say?"

"He said, 'I'm going in. Watch my back.' Then he rushed forward, and then he was gone."

Yajirobe's voice was very calm.

"I watched his back. Didn't do a damn thing."

Chen Mo said nothing.

After a few seconds, Yajirobe changed the subject himself.

"You said you know some hidden things. Let's hear them."

"What do you want to know?"

"Anything." Yajirobe leaned against the wall, hugging his sword. "Can't sleep anyway."

Chen Mo organized his thoughts.

"How much do you know about Planet Namek?"

"I know the general idea. Goku went to Planet Namek to fight Frieza and became a Super Saiyan. Bulma, Krillin, and Gohan went too. Piccolo was revived there. I don't know the details. I wasn't there."

"Frieza did something on Planet Namek," Chen Mo said. "He sent out the entire Ginyu Force. Captain Ginyu had an ability—body swapping. He could exchange bodies with his opponent."

"Exchange bodies?"

"Yeah. Goku fell for it while fighting him. His soul got shoved into Ginyu's body, and Ginyu took over Goku's body."

Yajirobe's eyes widened. For once, he had widened his tiny eyes to the size of a normal person's.

"What happened after that?"

"Goku later came up with a way to switch back. But then Ginyu tried to swap with Vegeta. Vegeta reacted quickly and grabbed a Namekian frog, throwing it between them."

"...Ginyu turned into a frog?"

"Yeah."

"The Saiyan Prince used a frog as a shield?"

"Mm."

Yajirobe pulled a face, revealing a complicated smile.

"Vegeta really can fight. But some of the things he does... honestly, I don't even know what to say."

"You don't like him."

"It's not about liking him." Yajirobe waved a hand. "That time I cut off his tail, Krillin wanted to finish him off after he went down. Goku stopped him. Said something about sparing his life."

He paused.

"Vegeta did help out a lot afterward. But put yourself in that situation—a Saiyan who nearly killed you, and you let him go? Goku's way of thinking isn't something normal people can understand."

"That's why Goku is Goku."

"That's why I wasn't surprised when he died." Yajirobe's voice lowered. "People like him either live on as legends or die because of their own kindness. But him? He died of heart disease. Didn't even get a proper warrior's death."

Silence.

The glow stick's chemical light cast dim yellow shadows across the walls.

The wind outside had died down, and the ruins above were as quiet as a graveyard.

Chen Mo spoke.

"I'll tell you something you definitely don't know."

"What?"

"Master Roshi once peeped on Bulma while she was bathing."

Yajirobe's expression did not change.

"Who doesn't know that? That old man groped her the first day he met Bulma."

"Not the first day. I mean before the World Martial Arts Tournament, when Goku took Bulma to Kame House Island to get the Dragon Ball. Master Roshi said he'd give them the Dragon Ball on the condition that Bulma let him see."

"Hold on." Yajirobe raised a hand to cut him off. "I heard Krillin talk about this. That old man told Bulma to lift her skirt."

"Right. But do you know what happened that night?"

Yajirobe tilted his head.

"That night, Bulma stayed at Kame House. In the middle of the night, Master Roshi crept over and secretly touched Bulma's butt."

Yajirobe opened his mouth.

"But it wasn't Bulma he touched. It was Goku. Goku slept so wildly that he'd rolled into Bulma's bedding."

Yajirobe burst out laughing.

"Master Roshi touched Goku's butt?"

"Yeah. Then Master Roshi even muttered, 'Why is it so hard?'"

Yajirobe laughed so hard his whole body shook, one hand slapping his stomach.

"You... where did you even learn that?"

"Dr. Gero's tracking robot."

Half of Yajirobe's smile vanished.

"What tracking robot?"