Who knew how much time had passed? Maybe an instant, maybe ten thousand years—time had always been a shattered concept in the Primordial Chaos.
Xiao Kuang slowly woke up.
His first feeling was not the exhilaration of obtaining supreme power, but...
"My head hurts... My brain's about to explode..." He groaned, clutching his head. It felt as though a prehistoric server that was overclocking and overheating had been stuffed inside his skull. Countless laws he could not comprehend and Heavenly Dao runes rampaged through his sea of consciousness like unleashed wild dogs.
[Heavenly Dao: ...awaken... quickly go... Beyond the Thirty-Three Heavens... establish... Purple Cloud Palace... prepare... first sermon... advance... Primordial Chaos process...]
That vast, icy will sounded directly within his soul once more. Though it no longer carried the frenzied chaos of a malfunctioning program, it still held an unquestionable urgency, like a ruthless boss relentlessly @-ing an employee on DingTalk.
Xiao Kuang shook his buzzing head, barely managing to suppress the torrent of information for the moment. Looking down, he saw that he was still hovering above that enormous crater. The two "2D Pancakes" below remained eternally frozen in their stunned expressions.
Dao Integration?
Just like that, he had become one of the Primordial Chaos's top big shots?
He tried to sense the so-called Heavenly Dao Authority and boundless mana within him...
Well, it felt a little like becoming a billionaire in a dream, then waking up to find funeral money in his hand—he seemed to have something, but he had no clue how to spend it or whether he could spend it at all.
And the Heavenly Dao wanted him to use this power to establish some Purple Cloud Palace? To preach some profound and mystical Great Dao?
What a joke!
He, Xiao Kuang, an outstanding graduate of a third-rate no-name university—the version who had failed plenty of classes—had majored in slacking off and lying flat. If he taught advanced mathematics, he could turn it into a lullaby. And now he was supposed to explain the Heavenly Dao to a whole crowd of Primordial Gods and Devils?
"Preach my ass!" Xiao Kuang rolled his eyes and immediately chose to lie flat. He even adjusted his posture, reclining in midair with one leg crossed over the other, wearing the expression of someone saying, "I'm a useless lump of mud, so deal with it." "Not going! No time! Can't do it! Big Brother Heavenly Dao, whoever wants this crappy job can take it—you should find someone better! Anyway, that old man Hongjun and brother Luohu have already been smashed into murals by me. One more guy lying flat won't make a difference."
[Heavenly Dao: !!!]
Above the heavens, the translucent garbled symbols `[((′--)--)-_-)]` suddenly began flashing again, clearly furious at his salted-fish attitude.
[Heavenly Dao: ...defy... Heavenly Dao Authority... punishment!]
Boom!
A massive, pure, resplendent bolt of purple lightning tore through the void. Carrying the Heavenly Dao's destructive majesty, it ruthlessly struck down at the reclining Xiao Kuang!
Purple Cloud Divine Thunder! The Heavenly Dao's exclusive instrument of law enforcement! An ordinary Grand Unity Golden Immortal would have both body and soul annihilated by a single bolt!
Xiao Kuang shuddered at the sudden thunderclap, so startled that his crossed leg dropped. The lightning was far too fast to evade, and he instinctively shrank his neck.
Bang!
The lightning tribulation struck him squarely on the forehead, sending sparks flying with loud crackles.
The smoke and dust dispersed.
Xiao Kuang blinked and touched his forehead.
Uh... he was fine?
Not only was he fine, it even felt a little... tingly? Like a cheap electric massage treatment, and not nearly as strong as the blind massage from those old men by the roadside.
That was it?
Xiao Kuang froze for a moment, then grinned. He roughly understood now. In his current state, he seemed to be bound to the Heavenly Dao? The Purple Cloud Divine Thunder sounded terrifying, but in essence, it was just an "internal company disciplinary measure." Against him, the company's sole designated scapegoat and legal representative, it was all thunder and no rain. It could not kill him at all!
His confidence instantly surged!
Hands on his hips, he shouted at the garbled symbols in the sky, "Tch! Haven't eaten, Big Brother Heavenly Dao? That's all? Purple Cloud Divine Thunder? That tickles! Got anything stronger? Bring out something fierce! Like... uh... what was it, Du Tian Divine Thunder? The one Great God Pangu used—that sounds badass! Come on, hit me with it!" He arrogantly pointed at his forehead. "Right here! If you can't strike me dead today, then you're my grandson!"
[Heavenly Dao: ((′--)--)-_-)...(flashing violently)]
The garbled symbols flickered wildly, as though their code was about to explode from rage! Never had it encountered such a shameless Dao Integration practitioner, someone who actively demanded to be struck and even haggled over the punishment!
The air froze for several breaths.
That terrifying Du Tian Divine Thunder, powerful enough to recreate earth, water, fire, and wind, ultimately did not descend.
Apparently, the Heavenly Dao Authority did not include a clause for "striking one's own spokesperson with Du Tian Divine Thunder." Or perhaps it would have been useless anyway, merely wasting energy.
That vast will seemed to fall into an extreme state of frustration and stalemate. The flashing garbled symbols in the sky slowed, radiating the helpless grievance of someone thinking, Damn it, I've run into an utterly shameless bastard.
Seeing this, Xiao Kuang became even more pleased with himself, practically wagging his tail as he prepared to throw out a few more insults.
Just then, that cold will sounded again. Its tone seemed to... change? It was no longer forceful, instead taking on an eerie, patient... temptation?
[Heavenly Dao: ...since... you have no interest... in authority... lack ambition... so be it...] [Heavenly Dao: ...then... western Spirit Mountain... Zhunti Jieyin... bitterly cold land... let them have it...] [Heavenly Dao: ...Kunlun Mountain... the Three Pure Ones... possess Pangu's legacy...] [Heavenly Dao: ...Sun Star... Di Jun Tai Yi... brimming with ambition...] [Heavenly Dao: ...Blood Sea Styx... quietly developing...] [Heavenly Dao: ...Northern Darkness Peng... quickly kneel and surrender...] [Heavenly Dao: ...these... no longer concern you...] [Heavenly Dao: ...what a pity... beneath Buzhou Mountain... Nuwa's Cave... scenery beyond compare... peerless beauty... wondrous creation...] [Heavenly Dao: ...and also... within Pangu Hall... Houtu Ancestral Witch... graceful figure... compassionate yet resolute... uniquely charming...] [Heavenly Dao: ...sigh... since you want none of it... forget it... I... shall find another... perhaps... that western Jieyin... though his foundation is poorer... is... diligent...]
The Heavenly Dao's voice sounded exactly like a creepy old man luring a little girl with a lollipop, every sentence hitting the sole shining spot in Xiao Kuang's impoverished train of thought!
Especially the words "Nuwa," "Houtu," "peerless beauty," and "graceful figure." They were like keys that instantly unlocked the tiny handful of memories he had about Primordial Chaos novels, all filled with beautiful women, buried within his rusty brain after years of torment from high school math and College English Band Four.
He had been so busy being scared and lying flat that he had nearly forgotten the greatest benefit of this Primordial Chaos world!
Xiao Kuang's eyes lit up with a ding, shining as brightly as the Sun Star!
The shameless expression that had said, "Kill me if you want, I'm not working," vanished instantly, replaced by an exceedingly fawning and enthusiastic grin, like a husky that had spotted a bone.
"No! No, no, no! Big Brother Heavenly Dao! My real big brother! You can't! You absolutely can't!"
He sprang up like a carp—though he failed and merely rolled over like a salted fish—then flailed his limbs to steady himself in midair. Bowing and nodding toward the garbled symbols overhead, he spoke with a sincerity sweet enough to drip honey.
"Misunderstanding! It was all a misunderstanding! Your little brother was just groggy from sleep and joking around with you! Just livening up the mood!"
"Dao Integration! Preaching the Dao! Advancing the calamity! Maintaining peace in the Primordial Chaos! For such a glorious and arduous task, who else but me?! Rest assured, leave it all to me!"
"That old man Hongjun... ptooey! Senior Hongjun's unfinished work shall be inherited by me, Xiao Kuang! I guarantee I'll carry it forward! I definitely won't drop the ball!"
"Beyond the Thirty-Three Heavens, right? Purple Cloud Palace, right? Please wait a moment! I'll establish it for you right away! I guarantee it'll be magnificent! I guarantee it'll fit the Heavenly Dao's style!"
"And don't worry about the sermon's content! Slacking off... ah, no! I mean 'governing through nonaction'! Lying flat... means 'following one's natural state of mind'! I know it all like the back of my hand! I guarantee I'll bamboozle those Primordial Gods and Devils until they're utterly dumbfounded!"
He pounded his chest and sprayed spit everywhere. The speed of his change in attitude was truly breathtaking.
[Heavenly Dao: ...((′--)--)-_-)...(flashing more slowly, seemingly falling into extreme speechlessness)]
That vast will remained silent for quite a while, apparently stunned by the sheer shamelessness of this guy.
In the end, it seemed to completely give up, weakly transmitting one final message.
[Heavenly Dao: ...go quickly...]
Then, the garbled symbols filling the sky vanished completely, as though even one more glance would pollute its core code.
Xiao Kuang immediately perked up. His back no longer ached, his legs no longer hurt, and even the torrent of information in his mind no longer seemed so annoying.
Feeling the immense power within him, though still unsure how to control it precisely, he fixed his gaze in the direction Beyond the Thirty-Three Heavens. Awkwardly, like a child who had just learned to operate a toy airplane, he crookedly transformed into a streak of light—with occasional sparks leaking out—and shot away.
As he flew, he hummed to himself and rubbed his hands excitedly. "Purple Cloud Palace... hehehe... Empress Nuwa... Sister Houtu... hehehe... Primordial Chaos, your Master Kuang is coming! This crappy job... maybe it isn't so impossible after all!"
Before you continue