Beyond the Thirty-Three Heavens, Chaos Qi churned like a pot of boiling gray porridge, rolling, colliding, annihilating itself, and being reborn in disorder.
Xiao Kuang was tempted by the ultimate benefits of "Nuwa Houtu," and his motivation soared to unprecedented heights. Carried along by the fawning Chaos Qi Flow, he practically floated all the way to this prearranged "construction site."
However, once he came to a stop—or rather, floated to a stop—and looked at the empty void before him, where nothing existed but chaotic energy surging about, the fire in his chest was like a flame doused with cold water. With a sizzle, more than half of it went out.
"Uh... so where's Purple Cloud Palace?" Xiao Kuang scratched his head, utterly baffled. "Wasn't this supposed to be move-in ready? Heavenly Dao is a pretty lousy boss. Do employees have to build their own offices?"
He tried hard to recall the Primordial Chaos novels he had read, then attempted to dig something useful out of that muddled mass of Heavenly Dao Inheritance.
As for building Purple Cloud Palace... it seemed... probably... maybe all it took was a thought, and words became law? Or a burst of divine power, and the palace would arise on its own?
That sounded cool, but where were the actual instructions?!
"I failed advanced math, and I don't know the first thing about civil engineering!" Xiao Kuang stared blankly. Designing a doghouse would already be hard enough for him, let alone a Daoist sanctuary of the highest standard in the Primordial Chaos. This was completely outside his field!
He paced around in circles, like a dog that could not find the bathroom, scratching his head in frustration.
Giving up was out of the question. The lovely figures of Empress Nuwa and Sister Houtu were still floating through his mind!
"Forget it!" He slapped his thigh and decided to just wing it. "Who cares about Primordial Chaos style or the ultimate principles of Heavenly Dao? I'll do whatever makes me comfortable! I'm the one undergoing Dao Integration, so I make the rules!"
So he took a deep breath of nonexistent Chaos Qi and mobilized the vast but poorly controlled divine power within him, which felt as if it were stuffed to bursting. There were no profound hand seals, nor any thought communicating with the laws of Heavenly Dao. He simply relied on the most primal and uncomplicated urge—I want a place where I can lie around, have fun, preferably grill skewers and soak in a bath—and shoved his divine power forward into the Chaos like he was splashing water!
"Build your grandpa a comfy nest!"
Rumble—!
Chaos Qi was like a muddy swamp into which a massive boulder had been thrown, churning with unprecedented violence! Earth, water, fire, and wind were forcibly suppressed, shaped, and solidified!
The outline of a building began to condense and emerge at a shocking speed...
But no matter how one looked at the process, it radiated an air of crooked, heretical nonsense. The light flashed like a disco ball, the structure leaned and twisted as if drunk, and the style was even more... eye-searing!
A few minutes later, the Chaos settled.
A brand-new, bizarrely styled "Purple Cloud Palace" stood majestically Beyond the Thirty-Three Heavens!
This "palace" had a main structure resembling a modern large-scale bathhouse combined with the storefront of an internet café. Its glazed tiles shimmered in ever-changing colors like RGB lighting effects. The gates were heavy, with a riveted metallic texture, while two stone lions stood abruptly beside them—except their expressions were dull, and one of them was even yawning.
The most outrageous part was the plaque above the gate. Great Dao runes twisted and struggled, seemingly trying to form the three characters for "Purple Cloud Palace," but the final result was—"Slack off... no, Purple Cloud Palace." The words "slack off" and "no" were extremely faint, as though the creator's conscience was struggling, while the three words "Purple Cloud Palace" stood out especially clearly, carrying a stubborn, transparent attempt at concealment.
Xiao Kuang pushed open the heavy gate, which creaked as if it had been neglected for years, and walked inside.
The interior was even more mind-blowing: there were no traditional cloud couches or Meditation Cushions. In their place stood rows of esports ergonomic chairs gleaming with metallic luster, upholstered in premium synthetic leather and equipped with adjustable lumbar support and headrests! Each chair even had a small tea table beside it, with designated spots for milk tea and sunflower seeds.
At the very front, there was no lofty platform overflowing with Dao essence for delivering sermons. Instead, there was an enormous, fully equipped automatic luxury massage recliner, complete with USB charging ports and cup holders! A telescopic microphone stand stood beside it as well, making it convenient for "lecturing."
And that was not all! Xiao Kuang wandered into the backyard, and his eyes lit up even more! What immortal peach roots, spiritual springs, or jade herbs? On the left stood a massive stainless-steel open-air barbecue grill, emitting wisps of smoke that did not actually exist. Beside it was a pile of firewood that appeared to have been chopped from Chaos Spirit Wood. On the right was a natural hot spring pool bubbling away with steam! Smooth pebbles lined the bottom, and several wooden floating trays for holding drinks rested by the poolside.
"Perfect! Absolutely perfect!" Xiao Kuang clapped his hands, completely satisfied with this round of "construction." "Now this is living! Giving sermons? Isn't that just lying around somewhere else and chatting? The atmosphere has to be right!"
Grinning smugly, he flopped onto the massage recliner reserved for the chief lecturer, pressed the switch, and blissfully narrowed his eyes as the mechanical hands behind him kneaded and pounded his back.
Suddenly, as if remembering something, his eyes rolled around. He rubbed his hands together and flashed an extremely ingratiating smile at the empty sky—which he knew was definitely watching his screen.
"Um... Boss Heavenly Dao? Big bro? Look, I've already decorated this office to the highest standards—my standards. The hardware is top-notch! So shouldn't you... provide some software services?"
"Like... a few pretty maidservants? They need to be gorgeous, know how to serve tea and pour water, massage shoulders and pound legs, speak sweetly, and call out, 'Dao Ancestor big brother, you're amazing!' Otherwise, what kind of presence would my number one Daoist sanctuary in the Primordial Chaos have? If I went out and met the Demon Ancestor... oh, right, the Demon Ancestor got flattened into a pancake... anyway, it would just have no presence!"
The instant he finished speaking!
BOOM!!!!!!!
The entire Chaos trembled violently!
It was as though some invisible, enormous presence had been so enraged that it stomped its foot hard!
Above the sky—though the Chaos had no sky—the previously hidden, translucent Heavenly Dao gibberish symbols [((′--)--)-_-)] suddenly erupted in a frenzy. They flashed wildly with unprecedented frequency and brightness, while gibberish poured down like a waterfall, nearly covering his entire field of vision!
[Heavenly Dao:!!!!!!!!!!(gibberish flooding the screen)] [Heavenly Dao: Error! Error! Core code struck by an unknown logic virus! Requesting format! Requesting format!] [Warning! The agent has made improper demands! Serious violation of Article N, Chapter N of the Heavenly Dao HR Regulations!] [Recommended punishment! Ultimate punishment! Chaos Annihilation Punishment!]
Chaos Thunder exploded around him like furious dragons, and destructive energy surged madly. This time, it seemed Heavenly Dao truly wanted to kill him! This slacker had not only warped the entire style, but now he even wanted to get lewd?! This damn job was impossible to keep doing for even one more day!
Frightened by the sudden wrath of the thunder, Xiao Kuang slid off the massage chair and landed hard on his ass.
Looking at the scene overhead, where Heavenly Dao seemed ready to start smoking from rage as code flew everywhere, he shrank his neck and muttered softly, "If you won't give them to me, then don't... why get so mad... programmers really do have explosive tempers... can't even discuss it... so stingy..." The gibberish in the sky flashed even more crazily.
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