Heavenly Dao Correction Plan Fails, Zixiao Palace Acquires Exotic Bird and Beast Garden

The Heavenly Dao felt it could no longer indulge this any further.

It, the supreme collection of rules for the Primordial Era, operated orderly and impartially, yet now it was being forced by a salted fish into symptoms akin to a "heart attack" and "cerebral hemorrhage." Was this acceptable?

It must correct the chaos! It must straighten this seedling that had veered off course!

[Heavenly Dao: Initiating... Agent Behavior Correction Protocol... Injecting... Heavenly Dao Supreme Truth Comprehension... Instilling... Primordial Orthodox Values... Strengthening... Sense of Responsibility and Mission...]

A stream of Heavenly Dao information, far purer, vaster, and more irresistible than before, containing the order and laws of the Primordial Era since its creation, moral teachings, the will of ancient sages, the inevitability of calamities... like a mighty, nine-day galaxy, poured madly into Xiao Kuang's sea of consciousness! This time, the Heavenly Dao had spared no expense, even using a sliver of its origin power, determined to reshape this failing student's worldview into that of a qualified Dao Ancestor!

"Ugh...!"

Xiao Kuang was rocking back and forth on his gaming chair, his mind suddenly stuffed with so much "proper" knowledge that his head felt like a bushel of grain. Countless stern old scholars seemed to be shaking their heads and chanting scriptures before his eyes.

"The Great Dao is formless, giving birth to heaven and earth; the Great Dao is heartless, operating the sun and moon; the Great Dao is nameless, nurturing all things..." (Tai Shang Gan Ying Pian?)

"The heavens operate by constant principles, they do not exist for Yao, nor perish for Jie..." (Xunzi? Is this a crossover?)

"Calamities are necessary for the balance of heaven and earth, the manifestation of the cycle of karma. The Dao Ancestor should act in accordance with the trend, guiding all beings..." (Primordial Era Textbook?)

"Shut up! All of you, shut up!" Xiao Kuang clutched his head, rolling painfully on the chair. "I hate classes the most! Especially mandatory online classes! What kind of nonsense is this! It's giving me a headache!"

His salted fish instincts clashed violently with these Heavenly Dao supreme truths!

The Heavenly Dao's will was cold and persistent: [Comprehend it! Understand it! Become it! Shoulder your responsibility!]

Xiao Kuang struggled and roared, "Responsibility my ass! I just want to lie flat! I just want to slack off! Who doesn't go crazy working! It's all just forcing yourself! What you're saying is exploitation! It's PUA! I'm not doing it!"

[Stubborn and ignorant! Intensify infusion!] More information poured in, even forcibly overwriting Xiao Kuang's useless memories of "playing games," "eating chips," and "watching pretty girls."

"Aaaah! This is too much bullying of a fish!" Cornered, Xiao Kuang decided to completely give up. He took all the Heavenly Dao truths, moral teachings, and the necessity of calamities he had passively received, bundled them up with his strong resentment of "refusing to work" and "wanting to play," and shoved them all back, completely unchanged, towards the source of the Heavenly Dao's will!

[Received: The Great Dao is formless... giving birth to heaven and earth... (Addendum: Give birth to what? Sleeping is better)] [Received: The heavens operate by constant principles... (Addendum: Principles my foot, I want a holiday)] [Received: Calamities are necessary... (Addendum: Necessary for what? Isn't it better to decide the winner by playing cards?)]

Heavenly Dao: [???]

That cold, vast will of the Heavenly Dao suddenly froze, as if it had been hit head-on by a reversing truck loaded with garbage!

It attempted to understand this contaminated information stream, its core code running frantically, but this caused its logic chains to begin to break down:

[Warning! Conflicting instructions detected! 'The Great Dao is formless' conflicts with 'better to sleep'! Parsing failed!] [Error! 'Constant principles' and 'principles my foot' are logically mutually exclusive! System malfunction!] [Critical Error! 'Calamities are necessary' vs. 'decide the winner by playing cards' comparison... Performing meaningless calculations... CPU usage 100%...]

[Heavenly Dao: ((;￢＿￢))...┻━┻︵╰(‵□′)╯︵┻━┻!!!] The garbled symbols in the sky scrolled wildly again. This time, it wasn't anger, but an extreme sense of chaos, breakdown, and... despair?

It had intended to brainwash the other party, but instead, it had been reverse-brainwashed by the other party with garbage information! Its core code seemed to be stuffed with virus programs for "lying flat," "slacking off," and "playing cards"!

The Heavenly Dao's operations completely seized up. The immense power of infusion receded like a tide, even emitting a mournful cry akin to "overheating and crashing." The garbled symbols flickered dimly, then finally faded completely, hiding as if needing to find a corner to quietly repair its broken worldview and damaged code.

"Tch, trying to fight me?" Xiao Kuang panted, feeling as if he had won a tough battle to defend his salted fish nature. He wiped away a bead of sweat triumphantly. "Trying to brainwash me? If there's one thing I'm good at besides everything else, it's sticking to my trash nature... Ah, no, I mean, maintaining my core identity as a good-for-nothing, that's professional level!"

After this "great battle," he felt even more that the "proper things" recommended by the Heavenly Dao were utterly boring. Finding his own fun was the most important thing.

Suddenly, his eyes rolled, and he thought of a good (wicked) idea.

"It's been a long time since the Dragon-Phoenix Calamity ended, right? Aren't there still quite a few Dragons, Phoenixes, and Kirins left? I heard that after they took human form, the Dragons and Phoenixes were handsome and beautiful, and Kirins make pretty cool mounts?"

He stroked his chin and grinned sinisterly. "Since I have nothing to do now, picking up some leftovers shouldn't be a problem, right? I'll catch the pretty ones to serve tea and water, and the ugly ones... uh, I'll catch the ugly ones to set up a zoo? To enrich the Purple Heaven Palace's recreational cultural life! I'm truly a considerate Dao Ancestor to my employees!"

No sooner said than done!

He once again mobilized the authority that had given the Heavenly Dao a headache, and his divine sense instantly swept across the Primordial Era.

Most of the remaining Dragon race were hiding in the abyssal depths of the Four Seas, trembling; the Phoenix race resided in the Undying Volcano, barely surviving; the Kirin remnants were scattered across the Primordial lands, living in constant fear.

"Heavenly Dao Authority! Great Spatial Shift! Target: Remnants of the Dragon, Phoenix, and Kirin tribes! Screening criteria: High attractiveness, great potential, looks delicious... Pfft, looks docile! Forced relocation!"

Buzz!

Across the Primordial Era, countless surviving members of the three tribes were licking their wounds and trying to reproduce when they suddenly felt an irresistible, supreme power descend!

The next moment, no matter where they were, in their deep-sea nests, volcanic lava, or remote mountain forests, they were all enveloped by an invisible spatial force. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, they transformed into streaks of light, involuntarily pulled towards the thirty-third heaven!

For a time, countless panicked streaks of light lit up across the Primordial Era, like a reverse meteor shower, heading straight for the chaos.

Next to the Purple Heaven Palace, Xiao Kuang casually opened up a new area, creating some artificial mountains and flowing water (simulated by chaotic energy), and hung a sign – "Purple Heaven Palace Aviary and Menagerie (Trial Version)."

Pretty Dragon girls, Phoenix girls, and Kirin girls were selected and stood in the main hall of the Purple Heaven Palace, looking utterly bewildered as they gazed at the gaming chair, massage recliner, and barbecue grill, sinking into deep confusion. More Dragon, Phoenix, and Kirin bodies were thrown into the "zoo," looking at the gray, chaotic surroundings and their equally bewildered companions, letting out frightened and wronged cries (Dragon roars, Phoenix cries, Kirin bellows).

Xiao Kuang looked at his "trophies" with satisfaction, clapping his hands. "Perfect! Employee benefits and entertainment facilities have been greatly improved!"

In the sky, a faint, mournful, crackling sound, like leaking code, could be vaguely heard – the sound of the Heavenly Dao completely giving up on treatment.