When the Purple Cloud Palace (Entertainment Club Edition) had first been completed, Xiao Kuang found it novel for a few days.
He lounged in massage chairs, soaked in hot springs, tried using Chaos Spirit Wood to grill skewers (unsuccessfully; everything he grilled tasted like chaos), and even attempted to teach the two yawning stone lions how to play Landlord (also unsuccessfully; the stone lions only knew how to yawn).
But he quickly grew sick of it.
"So boring... The life of a top-tier Primordial Chaos big shot is way too dull! There isn't even any Wi-Fi!" Xiao Kuang sprawled limply across his Gaming Chair, howling at the empty hall.
The Primordial Chaos was certainly exciting, but he knew his own limits. His Dao Integration level could fool the Heavenly Dao and let him throw his weight around in safe zones, but if he actually wandered into dangerous territory across the Primordial Chaos, where great powers were everywhere, and ran into some reckless idiot—say, an Ancestral Witch or Demon Emperor—who decided to take a swing at him, his watered-down Dao Integration realm might not withstand it!
Safety first. A slacker's life depended on it!
So, his gaze turned toward that place hanging high beyond the heavens—cool, bright, seemingly harmless... and supposedly home to beauties: the Taiyin Star.
"Xi He, Chang Xi... the Moon Goddesses! I heard they're the absolute pinnacle of beauty in the Primordial Chaos?" Xiao Kuang rubbed his hands together, nearly drooling. "Let's go take a look! A Dao Integration Dao Ancestor inspecting their work is perfectly reasonable, right?"
He left as soon as he decided to. Wielding the Heavenly Dao Authority he had scammed, swindled, and bluffed his way into, he wobbled toward the Taiyin Star.
The Taiyin Star was shrouded year-round in cold moonlight. Guanghan Palace stood there in lonely solitude, its chill so piercing that ordinary immortals and gods found it difficult to approach.
Xiao Kuang passed through the outer Taiyin Forbidden Seal without hindrance—the perk of being an authority-holding bastard—and brazenly landed in the open space before Guanghan Palace.
"Ahem!" He straightened his nonexistent robes and struck what he considered his most suave and unrestrained pose—though he actually looked more like a street loafer.
The palace gates silently opened, and two fairies emerged with graceful steps.
One wore palace robes, her bearing cool and noble, her features exquisitely beautiful, her eyes like cold stars. She was Xi He. The other seemed more lively, with a clever, playful glint between her brows and eyes. She was Chang Xi.
When the two goddesses saw Xiao Kuang appear so abruptly, their delicate brows furrowed. They could sense the unfathomable aura around him, one aligned with the Heavenly Dao, yet it was mixed with an indescribable laziness and unseriousness that put them on guard.
"Who might you be?" Xi He's voice was as crisp and cool as jade striking ice, pleasant to hear yet distant.
The moment Xiao Kuang saw the ladies themselves emerge, his eyes lit up. He immediately threw out the lines he had prepared in advance, copied from tacky modern pickup scripts:
"Hello, beauties! I'm Xiao Kuang, the current Dao Integration Dao Ancestor of the Primordial Chaos, the Heavenly Dao's top dog!" He patted his chest, trying hard to look impressive. "The moon is beautiful tonight. Would you two care to add... uh, a divine-sense imprint? So we can keep in touch later? Or perhaps go watch some... spirit beasts race across the Primordial Chaos? My treat! Or I could just send you fifty Merit Points as a meeting gift?"
Xi He: "..."
Chang Xi: "Pfft—"
Chang Xi failed to hold it in and burst out laughing. She quickly covered her mouth, but the mockery in her eyes could not be hidden. "What Wild Daoist crawled out of nowhere? You spout nonsense, act frivolously, and possess none of a great power's bearing! A Dao Integration Dao Ancestor? We have heard of Dao Ancestor Hongjun. Since when did he become someone like you?"
Xi He's gaze grew colder, her tone scrutinizing. "Though the Dao rhythm around you is aligned with the Heavenly Dao, it is muddled and impure, with a shallow, unstable foundation—neither one thing nor the other. Your words and actions are even less like those of a true cultivator of the Dao. Could it be that you found some opportunity somewhere, stole a trace of authority by luck, and came here to deceive others?"
Wild Daoist? Frivolous behavior? Stole by luck? Deceiving others?
Those words were like knives, stabbing precisely into the sore spots of Xiao Kuang, the poor student and useless bum!
He tried to maintain his lofty demeanor. "Hmph! Hongjun? That was the previous one! Now I call the shots for the Heavenly Dao! This is returning to simplicity, not being bound by trivialities! What do you know!"
Chang Xi's tongue was even quicker as she shot back sharply, "Returning to simplicity? More like revealing your true form! And sending fifty Merit Points? Do you even know how precious innate merit is? Saying such vulgar nonsense without fear of making a fool of yourself before the world! I doubt you can even explain your origins. Which cave abode did you graduate from? Who was your master? And which Great Dao do you cultivate?"
"I... I..." Xiao Kuang was left speechless by that string of questions. How could he possibly admit he had graduated from some third-rate sham university? That his master was an internet café manager? That he cultivated the Dao of Slacking?
His face turned bright red, and the bit of poise he had put on vanished completely. Shame mixed with frustration, finally turning into humiliation-fueled rage!
"Enough!" He abruptly waved a hand, cutting off Chang Xi's barrage as he stomped in fury. "I'm talking feelings with you, and you're talking credentials? I'm talking romance with you, and you're lecturing me about origins? Is that interesting? Huh?!"
"Fine! You're so lofty! You're so amazing!" Xiao Kuang pointed at the two goddesses, so angry his nose nearly twisted crooked. "Since you won't accept a proper invitation, don't blame this Dao Ancestor for using force!"
He completely abandoned all shame and started acting like a hooligan!
Linking his mind to that disobedient but sufficiently massive Heavenly Dao Authority, he brazenly issued an order to the entire Taiyin Star:
"Heavenly Dao Authority! Lock down the Taiyin Star for me! Spatial confinement! Law suppression! Generate forced employment contracts! Party B: Xi He, Chang Xi! Positions: Purple Cloud Palace's chief... uh, Etiquette Consultants! Report for duty immediately! Package them up and take them away!"
Bzzzz—!
The invisible laws of the Heavenly Dao crashed down like the hardest shackles, instantly freezing the entire Taiyin Star! The moon laurels stopped swaying, the moonlight stopped flowing, and even the pervasive chill was locked in place!
Xi He and Chang Xi went pale with shock. They felt their own magical power and their connection to the Great Dao of Taiyin completely suppressed in an instant. They could not even move a finger! For the first time, horror and disbelief appeared in their eyes!
That rogue! He could actually use Heavenly Dao Authority to do something like this?!
Above the sky, garbled Heavenly Dao symbols erupted frantically once again, flashing so violently they seemed about to explode!
[Heavenly Dao: Alert! Alert! Detected abuse of highest authority! Used for illegal detention and forced labor! Severe violation of the Primordial Era Basic Law! Moral value has fallen below the critical threshold!] [Logical error! Logical error! Cannot comprehend! Cannot execute! ((((;゜Д゜)))] ] [Recommendation... recommendation... (program not responding)]
The Heavenly Dao was nearly furious enough to crash from this outrageous stunt! It could only watch helplessly as Xiao Kuang, like a triumphant bandit chief, used the Heavenly Dao's power to sweep up the imprisoned Xi He and Chang Xi. He transformed into a streak of light and fled the Taiyin Star at tremendous speed, wobbling all the way toward his bizarre Purple Cloud Palace.
Only the forcibly sealed, deathly silent Taiyin Star remained in the chaos, along with the Heavenly Dao's endlessly refreshing waterfall of garbled text, filled with grief, rage, and speechlessness...
[Heavenly Dao: ...My Primordial Chaos... is finished... completely finished...]
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