Grand Court Assembly

Su Yuan took a drag from the Benefit the Group cigarettes he was about to be unable to afford and said slowly:

"What do you mean, low-end version? It's the people-friendly version, the 'youth edition' of Benefit the Group. Its name will be Zhonghua: balanced and harmonious, resplendent and splendid.

"The target customers are ordinary heavenly soldiers and generals, low-ranking immortal officials, and newly ascended minor immortals without much family wealth.

"Let them enjoy the thrill of 'swallowing clouds and puffing mist' too. Even if they have no money on hand, we can cultivate their spending habits first.

"Once they have money, they'll naturally choose Yuxi or Benefit the Group.

"Make sure we achieve full distribution! Spread them through the Southern Heavenly Gate outposts, Celestial River Wharf, and the entrances to every blessed grotto-heaven.

"We can even run a 'prize in every box' campaign. Buy three packs and win one. Our costs are low anyway."

Ink Qilin nodded repeatedly.

"What about the slogan?"

Su Yuan rolled his eyes.

"Venerable, if they're so poor they're smoking Zhonghua, what slogan do they need? After one puff, they'll have to hurry back to work."

Ink Qilin broke into a broad grin at last. He slapped Su Yuan heavily on the shoulder and sealed his immortal essence.

"Good lad! We'll do it exactly as you said! Come, come, let's drink! We're not going home until we're drunk tonight!"

Su Yuan: This again?

Su Yuan got drunk again and was carried back to the project department by immortal officials from the Thunder Bureau.

Still groggy, he had just undone the sash at his waist and was ready to sleep when the communication jade talisman in his robes began vibrating violently.

"Why does this always happen whenever I'm drunk?!"

Having learned from the last time, Su Yuan did not dare delay. He formed a hand seal, cleansed himself, dispersed the scent of alcohol, and activated the communication.

It was a voice transmission from Venus Star Lord.

"His Majesty's court assembly has been moved forward. Report to the Jade Palace at once and await the meeting. Remember to wear your official robes."

Venus Star Lord's voice was urgent. In the background, immortal cranes cried sharply, cloud clappers knocked in rapid succession, and chaos reigned everywhere.

"Something this important can be moved up? This is His Majesty's court assembly!" Su Yuan rubbed his throbbing temples, sobered instantly by the fright.

"Keep your voice down! Since you know it is His Majesty's court assembly, who would dare change the time without an imperial decree from His Majesty? Don't even mention it—the Heavenly Court Office is in complete chaos right now! Every agenda item has to be rearranged, and the schedules of every Great Emperor and leader have to be coordinated one by one! Even Xu Jingyang has been dragged into the Integrated Three Offices as emergency labor! Hurry up, burn incense, cleanse yourself, and get here immediately. Do not make a mistake!"

"This disciple understands, Master..."

The other end had already cut the connection. Venus Star Lord was surely too busy to keep his feet on the ground.

Su Yuan did not dare tarry in the slightest. He hurriedly found his ceremonial robes, put them on, and turned into a streak of light as he sped toward the Jade Palace.

The moment he neared the heavenly stairs, he felt an overwhelming pressure unlike anything before.

Before his eyes:

A thousand auspicious vapors spewed purple mist; ten thousand rays of blessed light rolled in rainbow clouds.

Golden bells rang, and the deities of the Three Realms hastened toward the jeweled hall; heavenly drums sounded, and ten thousand holy sovereigns bowed before the vermilion steps.

Eighty-one pairs of golden-armored divine men held halberds and raised whips, arrayed before the white jade stairs;

Ninety-nine groups of immortal officials and jade maidens held fans and censers, standing in attendance on either side of the Jade Pool terrace.

And there were also:

The Four Great Emperors, their ceremonial carriages suspended high beneath the vault of heaven:

Gouchen commanded thunder that shook the nine heavens, Emperor Ziwei wielded stars that turned the Milky Way;

Longevity revealed compassion to guide souls through reincarnation, Qinghua raised a bright lamp to illuminate the underworld.

The holy beings of all heavens displayed their majesty:

The Twenty-Eight Mansions stood in their positions, while the Nine Luminaries arranged the celestial signs;

The Dragon Kings of the Four Seas held jade tablets, while the Great Emperors of the Five Sacred Mountains bore mountain seals;

The Thunder Duke and Lightning Mother suspended mirrors and drums, while the Wind Earl and Rain Master held bowls and vessels.

The civil and martial immortal ranks stood separated to either side, solemn and imposing, all lowering their eyes.

Awaiting an imperial decree from the throne, the Hall of Soaring Heavens was silent.

The immortal ministers had long since taken their places according to rank. Each watched his nose, his nose watched his heart, and all restrained their breaths. The vast Hall of Soaring Heavens was so quiet that not even a crow could be heard.

Only immortal cranes circled beneath the hall's ceiling, their cries clear and distant. Starlight scattered from their wings, becoming golden lotuses that bloomed and vanished in endless cycles.

Then Zhang Tianshi suddenly proclaimed before the throne, "His—Majesty—has—arrived—!"

Without a sound, a figure was already seated upon the imperial throne.

There was no brilliant radiance, nor any oppressive majesty. He was simply like the primordial starry sky—profound and boundless, with ten thousand paths returning to one, naturally complete.

It was as though he had always been there, one with the Heavenly Court and one with the universe.

The meeting proceeded according to protocol. As the presiding official, Emperor Ziwei spoke in a booming voice that shook the hall.

"Ministers, silence. By His Majesty's decree, the court assembly of the Hall of Soaring Heavens is now convened. We shall proceed to the first agenda item: the establishment of the special task group for preparations for the Peach Immortality Grand Gathering and related matters."

Representing Jade Pool and the preparatory group for the Peaches of Immortality Banquet special task force, Queen Mother of the West was the first to deliver her report.

"Jade Emperor, esteemed Emperors, fellow Daoists of the immortal ranks. Successfully holding a gathering is a matter of great significance with far-reaching impact. This Peach Immortality Grand Gathering is a grand occasion watched by the Three Realms. We must elevate our perspective, unify our thinking, and fully recognize its importance, urgency, and strategic nature. We must plan to high standards, advance with high efficiency, and implement with high quality.

"We shall carry out operations against charts and work backward from the deadline. A weekly reporting mechanism must be established, and major matters must be submitted in special reports at any time. We must ensure that every preparatory task connects seamlessly, advances in an orderly manner, and proceeds without a single error, making this Peach Immortality Grand Gathering a grand event that displays the bearing of the Heavenly Court, unites the hearts of the Three Realms, and promotes harmony and stability. My report is concluded."

Queen Mother of the West spoke without pause for a full hour and a half before finally ending her report.

The Jade Emperor nodded, then spoke. His voice seemed to come from beyond the ninth heaven, yet also from beside every person's ear.

"The Queen Mother's arrangements are already very clear. I will emphasize several more points. First, responsibilities must be firmly assigned. Every group leader is the primary person responsible and must personally take overall charge. Second, coordinated collaboration must be strengthened. Break down departmental barriers and form a united working force.

"Thirteenth, publicity and guidance must be handled well. Release information at appropriate times and in appropriate measure, and create a favorable atmosphere of public opinion."

Su Yuan's scalp went numb as he listened. He quietly asked Venus Star Lord, who was listening with rapt attention beside him and nodding approvingly from time to time.

"Which agenda item are we?"

"The fourth. It'll probably be afternoon by then."

Another two hours passed in a flash.

After scanning the hall, Venus Star Lord suddenly asked Su Yuan in a low voice.

"Hm? Where is Sun Wukong?"

Su Yuan froze.

"He didn't come? I sent him a voice transmission when I left, but he never replied. I thought he was already in the Hall of Soaring Heavens."

Venus Star Lord's hair immediately stood on end, and goosebumps rose all over him.

"This is bad! A few days ago, he said the Heavenly Court was stifling and that he regularly went down to the mortal realm to find beautiful mountains and rivers to enjoy! He's probably drunk unconscious right now. How can he possibly get back within these few hours?!"

Fine beads of sweat seeped from Venus Star Lord's brow. A minister missing the grand court assembly—this was unprecedented since the creation of heaven and earth.

Su Yuan forced himself to remain calm. "Star Lord, don't panic."

He swiftly pulled out his jade talisman, his divine sense racing as he sent a message to Xu Jingyang, who was busy at the rear of the assembly hall.

"True Man Xu! This is an emergency! Can the order of the agenda items we submitted be moved back?"

Xu Jingyang replied quickly.

"What happened, Little Su? Everyone wants to finish their reports early and relax early. Why do you alone want to move yours back? How far back do you want it moved?"

Su Yuan replied:

"There's no time to explain. I'd be immensely grateful! How many agenda items are there in total this time?"

"Three hundred and sixty agenda items."

?

What kind of fucking meeting was this? Why were there so many agenda items?