Should You Just Jump Yourself?

In the end, Jack failed to persuade Daredevil to pull himself together. He could only watch as Daredevil, having lost all will to fight, hunched over like a dying old man and headed home.

Watching Daredevil leave, Jack let out a long sigh. He took out a cigarette, lit it, and stood beside the steps outside the apartment, smoking as he pondered his problems.

After finishing the cigarette, he got into his car and drove toward S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.

Arriving at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, a place without face-scanning clock-in requirements, improved Jack's mood slightly.

He thought that if S.H.I.E.L.D. required employees to clock in with facial recognition...

And docked their pay if they failed to do so...

The result would definitely be hilarious.

At some arrest scene in New York City, six S.H.I.E.L.D. field agents spent all night staking out thirty terrorists who planned to attack New York. They captured them at five in the morning, only for all thirty to escape together at eight.

Question: How did those thirty people escape?

Answer: The clock-in machines on the first floor of S.H.I.E.L.D. were so jammed with people that the terrorists slipped away in the crowd!

That joke, which barely counted as a joke, made Jack feel a little better. When he arrived at his office and once again saw Marian getting intimate with a female agent in his office chair, he rolled his eyes dramatically.

What the hell? Why did every woman I met in Marvel love sitting in my chair?

Seeing Jack arrive, neither Marian nor the female agent moved.

Jack raised his right eyebrow and said displeasedly, "What, do you need me to carry you two out in a princess hold?"

Marian gestured toward the door. "No need to carry us. Jenny Pierce is here. She's in my office right now, and you need to go see her."

At the mention of Jenny Pierce, Jack felt his blood pressure spike.

This girl—no... this older sister—was truly a woman as fiery as flame. And because of Pierce's upbringing, she had become an extremely obedient woman.

She could practically be described as the ideal wife from a man's perspective.

During those blissful five days, if Jack did not want to answer a question, she never asked it twice. Whenever Jack wanted to eat, she cooked for him naked. And the special positions Jack wanted to try... ahem!

In short, she was an older sister who was obedient to an absurd degree.

That was why, when he had smeared Garrett that day, he had truly dared to summon Jenny and have her publicly slander Pierce by admitting that she and Jack had been involved.

But Jack felt that theirs had been, at most, a five-night affair. They had enjoyed everything there was to enjoy.

Originally, after smearing Garrett that day, he should have employed the hit-it-and-quit-it strategy. But she had gone back first, so Jack had not had the chance to say goodbye.

And now she had come looking for him again.

Then... Jack the scumbag was online!

Putting on the air of a carefree playboy, loosening his tie, and pulling his shirt out of his pants, Jack walked to Marian's office door.

After taking a deep breath, Jack pushed open the door and blurted out, "Jenny! We were just having fun. You actually came... looking... for... me... Lord Pierce!!!"

That damned Marian! She had not said that Pierce had come too!!!

The moment Jack saw Pierce beside Jenny, he froze. He still needed his Hydra identity for now, so he did not want to become enemies with Pierce.

Nor did he want to become Hydra's first great black mark: the first man in Hydra history to be sentenced to execution for fooling around with the boss's daughter and then abandoning her.

He did not want every old Hydra agent to teach new Hydra agents, after he was dead, that whenever they saw the precious daughter of their faction's leader, they absolutely had to remember Jack Wilson's story.

The idiot who had said, right in front of the boss, that he and the boss's daughter were just having fun.

Pierce's face had already darkened. He glanced at his daughter on his right, then beckoned Jack over. "Come! Sit here!"

Jack forced a stiff smile onto his face. He slowly walked over to Pierce and Jenny and carefully sat down in the chair across from them.

"Well... I was just joking earlier... Jenny and I are truly in love! True love!"

Pierce did not listen to Jack's explanation at all. He had come today intending to admit that he had misjudged Jack, but he had not expected Jack to be such an unreliable fool, so immature that he rapidly shattered Pierce's worldview.

Now, the moment Jack entered, he practically handed Pierce a knife. As a seasoned schemer, how could Pierce possibly miss this opportunity?

After a long silence, Pierce looked at Jack regretfully and shook his head twice in deep disappointment. "Jack, just a few days ago, I had high hopes for you. I thought you were a man worthy of entrusting my daughter to. I never expected you to be unable to shoulder such responsibility."

Since they were at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, who knew whether Fury, who loved all-encompassing surveillance, had planted recording devices in his subordinates' offices? So Pierce only spoke about his daughter.

After scolding Jack until he lowered his head even further, Pierce abruptly changed his tone and delivered explosive news.

"But the deed is done. Since my thirty-five-year-old daughter, who has guarded her chastity like jade, has already become yours, there is nothing I can do..."

"You must marry her!"

"If you refuse, I'll use what little prestige I have left as a former director of S.H.I.E.L.D. to send you to an office in the African desert, where you can spend the rest of your life eating sand!"

Jack: "Why not the Beijing office..."

Pierce: "Do you think I'd let you party in Beijing for the rest of your life?"

Would Jack agree to marry Jenny just because Pierce demanded it?

Of course he would not!

Another one of Jack's dreams in the Marvel Universe was to build a harem here, marry 789 female superheroes like Pokémon, and begin a blissful life sleeping under one giant blanket together.

Yet after only a little over three years here, he was about to be forced into marrying an older sister eleven years his senior?

And he was being forced to marry her by the leader of the America faction of Hydra?

What the hell!

Jack did not want that!

So Jack stood up. No longer did he present himself as the timid, shrinking figure who had done something wrong. He slapped his chest with his right hand, radiating the heroic spirit of a man reaching for the heavens.

"I, Jack Wilson, would rather jump from here today!"

"Than ever marry Jenny Pierce!"

"I said it already, we were just having fun!"

Pierce pointed at the window to his right and calmly said to Jack, "Then jump now. I'll grant your wish."

Jack: "..."