In truth, it was not that Bai Ming was unmoved. His brain had simply stopped responding.
Your brain stopped thinking because you simply could not figure out how things had developed to this point. You thought to yourself, Have I become Dong Zhuo of a debauched imperial court?
Artoria took advantage of your brain crashing as you contemplated life and dragged you straight into her room.
"Joslin, if you don't say anything, I'll take that as agreement!"
Under Morgan's tutelage, Artoria had become exceptionally skilled at all sorts of strange things, such as moral coercion and making decisions for others.
In Artoria's room, you looked at Guinevere and fell into thought once more.
You began communicating with Guinevere and Artoria.
Artoria refused to communicate with you and offered you a drink—but it was not alcohol at all. It was the Elixir of Love.
Guinevere, who had been happily chatting with you, looked at Artoria in horror. Her expression seemed to ask: King Arthur, what are you doing?!
Guinevere's hopes for Artoria shattered.
You, Guinevere, and Artoria spent a wild night together and experienced the charm of Type-Moon Heavy Industries.
Artoria summoned you back to court for work once again. This time, however, your task was to handle things like recording court history. Artoria's intentions were obvious—she intended to go all the way down this dark path.
You, Guinevere, and Artoria became lovers.
After a period of calm, the Knights of the Round Table were fully assembled.
Following a period of recuperation, Artoria had you don armor and set out once more. She did the same herself, launching an expedition against Rome.
Your objective was to pacify Scotland, the last remaining island of the British Isles. For that purpose, you specifically brought Mordred and Tristan along.
This time, Artoria's opponent was Roman Emperor Lucius, known as the Dictator of the Public Rights of Rome.
The root cause of the conflict was that, after the Romans withdrew from the British Isles and saw Vortigern's foreign tribes defeated, with King Arthur about to rule the British Isles, they became greedy and wanted to squeeze some benefits and tribute out of King Arthur.
But Artoria had never been one to yield. Influenced by you since childhood, she was even more hard-line toward foreign powers than she had been in the original timeline. Coupled with your combat teachings, which lacked any real knightly spirit, Artoria had the envoys beaten on the spot. Then, wielding the Holy Lance and holy sword and bringing along Gawain and Lancelot, the strongest fighters of the younger generation, she went to stab this ruler who was called a dictator but was effectively an emperor.
After hearing of this, Lucius dispatched highly respected knights to Alexandria, India, Armenia, Aitani, Elam, Arabia, Egypt, Kair, Cappadocia, Syria, Galatia, and other Roman client states to mobilize troops. He also sought aid from Greece, Macedonia, Catoland, Cyprus, and Portugal, while gathering fifty giants born of devils to serve as the vanguard.
Then... because the Holy Lance and holy sword had not yet been subjected to their many restrictions, once this great army assembled and passed through France toward the British Isles, before they even caught sight of Artoria, Gawain, or Lancelot, a straight beam of light annihilated Lucius's innumerable troops, leaving not even corpses behind. Only a few giants remained.
As far as Artoria was concerned, the only people capable of jumping around in front of her were you, Morgan, and Merlin.
Artoria sheathed her sword and said coldly, "What are you people to dare bargain with me? Keep moving. Kill our way through."
"My king... your bloodlust is rather excessive."
Gawain spoke up in remonstrance. Artoria glanced at him and said coldly, "When we return, I'll remind Duke Joslyn to ask you for the self-criticism report from the campaign against Vortigern."
Gawain sucked in a sharp breath. He had never expected the King Arthur he served to know the tactic of tattling to one's parents. But then he remembered that King Arthur had been raised by his father and mother, and it no longer seemed strange.
Were Noble Families Really This Messed Up?
Gawain always felt that Artoria was more like your child, while he had been picked up from somewhere.
After all, whenever Artoria rode into battle wielding a polearm, her movements and bearing always resembled yours. Not to mention her martial prowess, taking enemy generals' heads amid ten thousand troops as easily as reaching into a bag.
Lucius was soon impaled on the shaft of the Holy Lance by Artoria.
Meanwhile, Tristan told you something: Isolde was an Irish princess, not in Scotland, and his uncle was in Cornwall.
You fell silent for a long while. Ireland, Scotland, England—they all had "land" in their names. Sometimes, you genuinely could not tell which land was which.
As the army marched, you began chatting.
"These are all trivial matters, my dear Sir Tristan. If it's Cornwall, then I have the most say in the matter."
After all, Morgan's mother had been taken in Cornwall, Morgan's father had been killed in Cornwall, and Morgan herself had been captured in Cornwall.
No one understood Cornwall better than Bai Ming.
"When we return this time, I'll take you charging into battle for love."
Tristan merely plucked at his strings upon hearing that.
"I know about this. I heard Father and Mother first met in Cornwall."
Mordred picked up the conversation, then asked, "Father, did you fall for Mother the moment you first met?"
"No."
Bai Ming answered sternly, "When we first met, she was my prisoner."
"I never expected someone as brave as Father could be taken prisoner by Mother."
"I killed Morgan's biological father and captured her."
Mordred said, "Father, do you understand romance? Please leave me at least some final illusion about your relationship with Mother."
"A man's romance is artillery fire and slaughter, not the few ounces of flesh between his legs. If pure force is not used for violence, then it has no meaning."
After hearing Bai Ming's words, Tristan plucked his strings again. "How sorrowful... I heard Duke Joslyn initially married the Duchess only because she threatened to find every possible way to kill him, but the Duke could not kill the Duchess because of King Uther's dignity."
"Enough! You lute player, stop talking! Leave me some illusion!"
Mordred's defenses shattered on the spot.
She only felt that her mother was somewhat beyond reason. If it had been her, she absolutely could not have fallen in love with a man who killed her father and took her mother.
"So how did you two end up together?"
"King Uther wanted to exile her. I thought letting her go would be too dangerous for me, and we happened to be of suitable age, so King Uther directly arranged our marriage."
Your words dealt Mordred a massive blow.
"Father, when you get killed, remember to kill Mother, me, and Gareth first. Otherwise, after we return this time, you and I can ●..."
Before Mordred could finish, Bai Ming punched her off her horse.
"Duke, why did you hit Mordred? I think Mordred actually has a point."
Tristan plucked his strings. "Gawain, Gaheris, and Agravain all have their own titles and fiefs, while your current heir is Sir Mordred."
Bai Ming was utterly confused. "What nonsense are you talking about?"
You could not understand what was going through Little Mo's head or Tristan's head at all. You planned to find Merlin, who had vanished without a trace, and have Merlin give Mordred some therapy.
In truth, ancient European nobles believed there were only two ways to protect their property and ensure the purity of their bloodline. The first was to have sons. The second was to sleep around ●.
Thus, from the days under King Uther, when you did not even seek women and focused solely on training, all the way to the present, where you discussed matters of depth and length with Guinevere and Artoria in Artoria's room—
King Uther, Merlin, Morgan, Artoria, and even Gawain, Agravain, Gaheris, and Mordred all thought there was something wrong with your head.
The only one who thought you were normal was your youngest daughter, Gareth—though that might have been because Gareth had gone out to train and was not by your side.
Not taking lovers would have been one thing, but you had also sent all three of your sons into court to obtain titles. Not one of them was a descendant meant to inherit your title.
Nor had you slept with your daughters ●● in order to keep your fiefs and title from passing to outsiders. As a result, Morgan was usually anxious, yet had no idea how to bring it up with you.
Bai Ming: So this was my fault too? I'm a modern man. Even in this simulation, I fought my way up from being a commoner. How was I supposed to know they were this absurd?!
Bai Ming: I never expected Morgan to stop causing trouble entirely either.
System: Is it possible that you're pretty absurd too? It's just that your absurdity goes in a different direction?
After figuring out the rough circumstances, you first pacified Scotland, then crossed westward to Ireland. After Tristan obtained a letter from Isolde's father, you returned to the British Isles.
Artoria held a banquet to welcome your return, and you received several days of leave.
On the first day, you beat Mordred up.
On the second day, you beat Mordred up.
On the third day, before you beat Mordred up, she asked why you were beating her. You told her to think about it herself, then beat Mordred up.
On the fourth day, Mordred asked whether it was because her idea of sleeping around with you ● to inherit the family property and prevent it from leaving the family had upset you. You nodded, then beat Mordred up. Mordred verbally admitted her mistake, so you spared her.
But Mordred was the most unruly and rebellious among your children. She was the sort who yielded to kindness but not force.
When it came to vindictiveness, she had perfectly inherited the pettiness of both you and Morgan.
Thus, after thinking it over, Mordred made up her mind.
She had originally planned to force herself on you ● while you slept, but she feared you would beat her to death, so she changed methods.
While you slept, she had your entire armory transported away.
On the fifth day of your leave, you beat Mordred up. Mordred could not even be bothered to apologize verbally. The more you beat her, the more she cursed at you.
Morgan lifted her eyes to look at the stubborn Mordred, then lowered her head again and continued reading her magecraft books.
When Mordred was being stubborn, she looked just like Morgan had when she was first captured. Therefore, Morgan was not worried you would do anything excessive to Mordred, such as beating her to death.
On the night of the fifth day of your leave, Morgan discussed Mordred's problem with you. Your and Morgan's views were vastly different, but you reached an agreement in certain respects.
On the sixth day of your leave, Morgan gave Mordred a beating. Mordred looked at you, reading beside them, and her brain began to process things.
On the seventh day, you carried an extremely unwilling Tristan over to beat up his uncle, King Mark. Then, using the letter from Isolde's father, Tristan took Isolde away.
King Mark rebuked you, declaring that he had been the first to swear he would marry Isolde. You sneered at King Mark and swore in front of him that all of King Mark's territory belonged to you, demanding that King Mark hand it over immediately. If he refused, then he was a hypocritical scoundrel with flawed morals and double standards.
King Mark felt insulted and immediately tried to take your life. But you were not someone who accepted threats. You beat King Mark until he had half his life left, then strode away.
Old Bai's Third Trip to Cornwall
You began wondering how exactly King Arthur's Britain would perish.
Merlin was equally curious.
Thus, Merlin, the old lecher who had spent half a year visiting brothels, deliberately came to your fief.
You happily held a banquet to entertain Merlin, and Merlin revealed his prophecy to you.
Merlin said, "The Knights of the Round Table will fall apart because of Guinevere. She will cheat with the strongest knight."
Bai Ming paused. "She has already become my lover at Artoria's request, so how will the Round Table collapse? Am I going to kill a hundred and fifty of them? That seems somewhat challenging. After all, even a vicious tiger does not eat its cubs. If Gawain, Gaheris, Gareth, Agravain, and Mordred all came at me together, I would still have to hold back."
Mordred, who had been beaten by Bai Ming and Morgan in a mixed doubles beating for six days and could only lie motionless in bed, had a huge question mark appear over her head.
My dear Father, I cannot see even a trace of knightly honesty in you. All I see are lies spilling from your mouth—calling it holding back when you beat your eldest daughter into lying helplessly in bed?
Merlin said, "Huh?"
What happened while I was gone? How did you end up spending the night in the royal bed?
"What else did you do?"
Merlin decided to get everything clarified at once. Bai Ming thought for a moment, then said, "I carried Sir Tristan to Cornwall and beat up his uncle, then helped Sir Tristan take back the woman he loved."
"What else?"
"I slept with Lily."
Your words left Merlin silent for a long time. It took him quite a while to process the words you had put together. For the first time, Merlin felt that he had underestimated you in matters of daily life. You were crazier than he had imagined.
Merlin finally said, "So... you are the root cause of Britain's destruction."
"That's wonderful."
Merlin had thought that, after sleeping with so many prostitutes and seeing silver tongues, endless lies, and sinister intentions, he understood humanity well enough. But seeing Bai Ming's delighted expression now, he felt that perhaps he did not understand humanity at all.
"What are you saying, Joslin? Why would you think that is wonderful?"
"Because... I see the fun in it, Merlin."
Bai Ming said, "When you indulge yourself atop a woman's belly, there are always times when you lose interest. It's the same as my game now. I spent the first half of my life being a loyal minister and served as regent. Now I want to play a different way. Do you understand?"
Mordred: The weapons and armor I had moved to Gawain's side... could Father be planning to use them for rebellion?
Merlin said, "...Britain's destruction is inevitable. It is only a matter of sooner or later. So I do not want you to end up causing this entire land to lose all life and hope for the future."
"You look down on me, Merlin. I have never dragged innocent people into things. You know that. Wherever my knightly order passes, they do not take so much as a needle or thread from the people." Bai Ming rose to his feet. "Make your prophecy, great sage. Where will Artoria die? And where will I begin my betrayal of my adorable Lily?"
Merlin said, "I think you already know."
"Yes, I know. So wait and see." Bai Ming's voice gradually grew louder. "I will also make a prophecy for you, my dear friend Merlin. You will advise King Arthur to choose the scabbard rather than the blade, but King Arthur will choose the blade. Then you will say not to lose the scabbard, because the scabbard is more important than the blade. Then the scabbard will be lost, and finally, King Arthur of Britain will meet her glorious end."
Merlin remained silent in response to your words.
After the banquet, Merlin entered the court.
After King Arthur impaled Rome's dictator, Lucius, Artoria began holding tournaments throughout Britain.
Knights of exceptional skill and noble character earned ever greater respect from the people.
Before you continue