Fell for It (Seeking Collection, Recommendations, and Monthly Votes)

"EEEEEHHHHHH!!!!!!"

From far off, Obito's wildly exaggerated, unrestrained voice rang out, dripping with shock, astonishment, and disbelief.

"Senior Qifeng, you're actually a Chunin?! How?!"

Obito stared at the Ninja ID Qifeng had tossed aside, the words "Chunin" on it the source of his utter shock.

"How?! Aren't you the Corpse Collector who sleeps until noon every day, lounges in the sun all afternoon, and never trains or takes missions? How did you get promoted to Chunin?"

Obito's voice grew louder with each word.

No justice!

He trained "diligently" every day, helped old ladies cross the street, and shouted about beating Kakashi, yet he still hadn't graduated early from the Ninja Academy.

In his eyes, this "lazy and gluttonous" senior had quietly become a Chunin without a peep.

And that look of disgust on his face.

What was that supposed to mean?

The rest of them struggled just to graduate and become Genin, and this slacker had already made Chunin, acting like it was beneath him.

No justice!

The world was going to the dogs!

Konoha's ninja evaluation system had gotten way too lax.

"Chunin!!! As expected of Senior Qifeng, a true role model for us ordinary ninja, already a Chunin. No way! I have to work even harder, clean the room spotless!"

Kai zipped around the Morgue, packed with corpses, like a whirlwind, leaving no dust or trash untouched in his wake.

Qifeng silently pulled a cigarette from Asuma's pack, rubbed his fingers to light it, and lit one for Asuma too.

The two synchronized perfectly, taking a deep drag, then slowly, almost dreamily, blowing out smoke rings.

A hazy veil of smoke enveloped them.

"Didn't think you'd actually get promoted to Chunin," Asuma remarked.

Qifeng shot him a glare. "Ask your old man about it!"

Other people wanted to become Chunin—he didn't.

Did they have any idea how dangerous a Chunin promotion was?

Either you led three subordinates, or you followed a Jonin, and the risk level of missions shot way up.

Even if he was a corpse-lying slacker who could dodge most of those missions, once he hit the battlefield, a Chunin couldn't just cower in the back like a Genin.

Thinking about it, Qifeng fumed.

"You seem pretty unhappy about it?" Asuma asked, a bit surprised.

Qifeng rolled his eyes at him, too lazy to answer.

A lot of things—kids like Asuma and Obito just wouldn't get.

Only when they grew up would they understand that fame, fortune, and all that glitz were garbage compared to a peaceful, stable life.

It was the gap between men and boys—they wouldn't get it.

Like how older students always told you, "Enjoy school while it lasts," and you never understood why until you entered the real world, then you'd repeat the same thing to the next generation.

"Sigh."

He took another drag, finally feeling the pent-up frustration ease.

No help for it. He had no idea what Orochimaru saw in him, forcing this promotion like a duck being shoved onto a perch.

"By the way, are you guys that free? Or did you all agree to crash my place? Anyone who didn't know would think this was some hot spot."

Suddenly realizing, why were so many people coming to the Morgue, a place everyone avoided?

"School's out, nowhere else to go," Asuma said flatly.

Qifeng's eyes widened. "Nowhere to go, so you come here? Can't you go hang out with Kurenai Yuhi?"

But as soon as the words left his mouth, he noticed something off in Asuma's gaze.

"You've got some nerve!"

At the mention of Kurenai Yuhi, Asuma gritted his teeth in anger.

If it weren't for this B here snitching to Yūhi Kurenai, keeping Kurenai stuck by her father's side even during break, leaving Asuma no way to get close, would he be coming to this godforsaken place?

"Heh heh."

Qifeng let out a dry laugh.

He was in the wrong there, but back then, Yūhi Kurenai had his eye on him too, so he had to give him another target to shift the focus.

Forget it, a little liveliness now and then wasn't bad.

Couldn't be bothered to care.

Qifeng shifted his butt and settled into the famous Ge You Lie.

A salted fish life was still the best fit for him.

If only he had a bottle of soda right now, life would be perfect.

A week later.

Over the past week, he had used the system to loot all the bodies he brought back.

Aside from the basic stat boosts, which raised his strength by a small notch, he only obtained one Jonin Experience Card, putting a cap on this haul.

Konoha Jonin Nakagawa Kamiryo Experience Card (Rare)

This was a Genjutsu-type Jonin experience card, quite different from Qifeng's own specialty, so he figured even if he used it, the compatibility might not be high.

But as a backup trump card, it should be enough.

Besides, having another experience card in hand gave him a bit more confidence.

Holding the mission appointment letter from the Hokage, he found Nara Shikaku in the mid-level office of the Hokage Building.

The Nara Clan, the Yamanaka Clan, and the Akimichi Clan—though not major noble families in Konoha, these three had been steadfast allies since the Warring States period, and even more so after joining Konoha. Together, they rivaled any single clan in the village.

As the brains of the trio, the Nara Clan, and Nara Shikaku in particular, symbolized high intelligence.

"Mr. Shikaku." Qifeng appeared respectful.

Nara Shikaku was not only the head of the Nara Clan but also a Hokage Advisor and the Squad Leader of the Konoha Jonin.

Shikaku, who had been bent over his desk, looked up and showed a hint of confusion when he saw Qifeng's face.

But instead of showing impatience at not knowing him, he smiled and asked, "What's the matter?"

Qifeng stepped forward and placed the appointment letter on his desk.

Shikaku glanced at it briefly and said with slight surprise, "So you're Maruyama Qifeng?"

"Yeah." Qifeng put on a simple, honest look.

Was he famous?

Judging by Shikaku's initial expression, he clearly didn't recognize him. So why did he react like that upon hearing his name?

As if reading his surprise, Shikaku smiled and said, "Lord Orochimaru personally recommended you for promotion to Chunin and also recommended you as an examiner for this Chunin Exams."

Then he gave Qifeng a meaningful look. "Lord Orochimaru is one of the Sannin, a powerful ninja. Qifeng, you should study hard under him and strive to become a great tree that can shelter Konoha."

"???"

Hearing that, Qifeng had only one thought.

He'd been had!

Orochimaru had asked if he wanted to become his subordinate, and he had cleverly declined.

But now it seemed that question was completely redundant. This recommendation was essentially telling the Konoha higher-ups that Qifeng was already his man, his subordinate.

He felt like he'd eaten shit.

He really didn't want to be tied to Orochimaru, even if others saw Orochimaru as practically the next Hokage, with a strong voice in the village.

Being someone Orochimaru valued would secure a place in Konoha's future.

But he knew well that Orochimaru was an extremely dangerous man. His thinking was already warping, and if not for the restraints of Hiruzen Sarutobi and his identity as a Konoha Ninja, he would have long since let himself go.

Most importantly, Qifeng possessed the Sharingan and Shikotsumyaku. If those were exposed, Orochimaru would dissect him in no time.

But he couldn't tell anyone that.

He just felt like he'd been force-fed shit, wanting to spit it out but not daring to, and even having to put on a satisfied expression.

He took a deep breath and forced out an extremely ugly, awkward smile.

"Then... please assign me a task, Mr. Shikaku."

Nara Shikaku nodded.

He flipped through the book on his desk, which contained his arrangements for this Chunin Exams.

Soon, he found a vacant position.

"Alright, Qifeng, you'll be the assistant examiner for the first exam. For the second exam, you'll handle your usual job—collecting the bodies."

With that, he handed over a scroll detailing Konoha's arrangements for this Chunin Exams.

"Yes!"

PS: Previously accidentally wrote Nara Shikaku as Nara Shikamaru; now corrected.