A Chef's Talent

What Phoenix Chariot? Does the JoJo art style really rub off on people?

Jodio stared at the chubby boy opposite him, whose face was covered in Araki-style shading, and grumbled inwardly. Silver Chariot really does have trouble with something as insubstantial as fire. But this kid's still little, so I might as well give him a proper thrashing!

Silver Chariot flourished its sword and charged. Just before it reached Ma Hongjun, it deftly blocked his claw with the sword's hilt. Using the blade wouldn't do. Although it looked like a fencing foil in the animation, Chariot's weapon was actually a standard European sword. This was only meant to teach him a lesson, not settle a fight to the death. Maybe I should borrow one of Polnareff's moves?

Silver Chariot flipped aside, flicked up a pebble with its sword, and sent it flying at Ma Hongjun's face. The pebble skipped off his forehead, leaving a small red mark. He yelped, withdrew his Martial Soul, and sat on the ground clutching his forehead, his eyes brimming with tears. He was a child, after all. That was about the level of fighting and injury a six-year-old could handle, right? Tang San barging into school and fighting all-out had seemed strange by comparison. Wait, damn it, this is ancient times. There's nothing strange about a six-year-old fighting viciously.

"Noroi, noroi! Too slow, too slow! Silver Chariot is the strongest Stand below level ten. Even without any special effects, its speed and strength—no, really—surpass your Phoenix Chariot!" Jodio explained, wagging a finger.

"Mmmph... DIO!"

Ma Hongjun clutched the swelling spot, hissing in pain and unable to speak properly. Oscar could only summon a sausage for him to eat and soothe the little chubby boy. Jodio shamelessly held out his hand for one too, eager to try it. Who cared about the chant or what it might bring to mind? He would eat first. Black-pepper sausages back on Blue Star had never made him think of anything weird.

"Do you give up? If you do, I'll take you to get something tasty. If not, we keep going!" Jodio took a fierce bite of his sausage and pressed him for an answer.

"What are we eating?" Ma Hongjun immediately pushed himself up and wiped his nose.

"Come on, what can't we find to eat these days? We'll catch a few Soft Bone Rabbits—no, a few wild rabbits. You get a fire going, then we'll scrounge some sugar beans from the teachers and roast the rabbits with Oscar's sausages. Sweet roasted rabbit, just like that. Are you in? If you are, let's get started. You two can have the legs, and I'll take the head." Jodio folded his arms, looking thoroughly pleased with himself.

"Boss! Boss Jo, what are we standing around talking for? Come on, Oscar, let's go!" Ma Hongjun grinned and threw an arm around Jodio's neck, raring to go. Oscar looked just as eager. He said nothing, but the image of roasted rabbit was already etched into his eyes.

"We're going Spirit Hunting tomorrow. How could we not eat our fill today? There's no booze, obviously, but we can at least make sure there's plenty of food."

Jodio had behaved himself in the future solely because he wanted to make it through unscathed. Now that he knew it was pointless, he felt free to let loose. It was a little like how Yoshikage Kira had suddenly relaxed and stopped fearing Hayato so much after obtaining his third bomb. The difference was that Yoshikage Kira had gained something to "protect" him, while Jodio had simply decided he had nothing left to lose.

"Boss, what's your Martial Soul? Why is it so cool? How can you manifest it outside your body?" Ma Hongjun peppered Jodio with questions as they crossed the fields.

"Silly kid, it's called a Stand. It's what happens when a Martial Soul is cultivated to its utmost limit. Once you've trained enough, you'll be able to manifest a Fire Phoenix outside your body too. Oh, though that thing would technically be more of a fusion ability." Jodio walked along the field ridge, searching for anything that moved.

He felt rather like an uncle taking the kids out to play. Compared with these dimwitted six- and eight-year-olds, Jodio seemed far too shrewd. His presence was impossible to miss, like someone who could announce himself with a single roar.

"Oscar, you won't even call me Older Brother," Jodio suddenly said, sounding wounded.

"Huh? Oh! Older Brother Jo!" Oscar's head was full of roasted rabbit. He was hardly less cheerful by nature than Ma Hongjun, and Jodio's lament made him catch on at once. This was the man paying for the meal!

"Muda!"

Silver Chariot shot forward and thrust at a spot two meters away. A rabbit's piercing scream filled the three boys' ears. Oscar and Ma Hongjun instinctively hunched their shoulders and turned their heads aside.

"If you can't kill one rabbit, how can you kill anything else? All right, that's a bit extreme. Pretend I didn't say it."

Silver Chariot brought the rabbit over on its sword. Jodio took its other European sword and drove it straight into the rabbit's heart, sending the poor creature off without further suffering. At six or seven, the two boys weren't especially squeamish. Once they got over the shock, they eagerly followed Jodio beneath a large tree near the academy and set about preparing a barbecue.

They skinned the rabbit, took a basin to wash it by the stream, poured the dirty water into a nearby tree pit so it wouldn't pollute the stream, removed the organs, and cut the meat into pieces, keeping the edible parts. Roasting it in pieces was much easier than trying to roast it whole. With Ma Hongjun providing free fire, the method hardly mattered.

Oscar did most of the helping. He didn't seem to mind the work and was rather good at it. Come to think of it, Jodio remembered that both these silly boys came from particularly poor families. Their backgrounds were probably the most respectable among the Shrek Seven Devils.

What were the other five, after all? Two children of the wicked old feudal nobility, a sect leader's precious daughter, and a little gang boss raised like a prodigy by his Titled Douluo father, who had practically reenacted a movie about child-grabbing. No, wait. Yes, that was right—he really was a little gang boss. That made these two boys the most innocent of the lot. Well, three of the others might still be won over. The only ones Jodio considered truly beyond reach were Tang San and Xiao Wu.

Tang San had a Titled Douluo father watching over him, so Jodio couldn't touch him now. Under one part of the Pincer Attack plan, his task was to weaken Tang San's opportunities and keep all the good things Tang San would originally have obtained far out of his reach. After all, Tang San hadn't been Jodio's only opponent in the future. When Jodio had launched a crucial sneak attack with his Ninth Spirit Ability, neither Tang San nor Xiao Wu had reacted in time. The Shrek Seven Devils had blocked the blow for them.

Damn it, just thinking about it makes me furious. Be the favored son of fortune all you want. What business is it of yours if someone from your own world ascends after you? Old Demon Han didn't smash the mortal realm with one punch when he ascended, and Xiao Yan didn't ban everyone after him from becoming a Dou Di. Who do you think you are? Who am I? How does my ascension hurt you? Won't you need me for your future war in the Divine Realm? What, do you think I'd turn on you and stab you in the back? All right, I was planning to do exactly that.

"I actually don't eat rabbit very often," Jodio said suddenly, watching two large and two small rabbit legs roast over the fire.

"Huh?" Both boys looked up.

"I usually steer clear of strange meats. As a rule, I only eat pork, beef, mutton, chicken, and duck. I hardly even eat goose. But in the past... well, sometimes people have to try things they don't want to eat." Jodio couldn't help sighing.

"What did you eat in the past, Boss? Don't tell me it was poop." Oscar waggled his eyebrows as he breathed in the aroma.

"Damn you, is that any way to talk to your boss? You're getting the smaller leg!" Jodio glared at him.

"I was wrong, brother. Have mercy." Oscar immediately behaved himself.

"Leave some for the teachers. We ought to show some gratitude, shouldn't we? Not one of us has paid tuition," Jodio added.

"Boss, you're being ridiculous. I'm sure the teachers would want us to have a good meal," Ma Hongjun protested. He had been eyeing that big, thick leg for ages. Share it? No way. He would say anything to keep that leg.

"Give me one reason they wouldn't eat it." Jodio glanced behind the two boys and continued scoring the remaining meat with Silver Chariot's sword.

"The vice principal is a bear! Bears eat honey!" Oscar answered.

"The principal's an owl. If you'd caught a field mouse, Boss, we'd have to invite him. But he doesn't eat roasted rabbit," Ma Hongjun answered.

"What fine students you are!"

Two pairs of large hands reached out from behind the boys. Clenched fists pressed against the sides of Oscar's and Ma Hongjun's heads, twisting inward. Jodio had seen the move from Shin-chan's mother in Crayon Shin-chan. Sure enough, both boys immediately begged the two teachers behind them for mercy. Oscar had it especially bad. One twist from Zhao Wuji had nearly flattened his face, and he looked ready to spring up and declare, "I'm Oscar!"

"Who's a bear?" Zhao Wuji demanded through gritted teeth.

"I am! I'm the bear!" Oscar sprang to his feet and saluted.

"Feeding your own teacher mice? That's a clever one." Flender smiled as he tugged Ma Hongjun's ear.

"Teacher, I was actually pondering something very profound. That's why I spoke so recklessly!" Oscar hurriedly explained as Zhao Wuji's expression grew darker.

"I was thinking about how useful Boss Jo's and Ma Hongjun's Martial Souls are, while mine doesn't seem good for anything except eating. That's why I said the wrong thing." Oscar put on a solemn, sorrowful face.

"Well..." Flender and Zhao Wuji were both shrewd enough to see that Oscar was trying to dodge his punishment. Still, if he had brought it up so suddenly, perhaps he really had been thinking about it. What could they say to comfort him?

"A king has a king's talents, and a chef has a chef's talents," Jodio said calmly, folding his arms.

"No one is useless. There are only fools and people too narrow-minded to see what's in front of them. Oscar, what kind of person you become, and what kind of Martial Soul you consider useful, are for you to decide."

← To Be Continued

Currently Available Information:

Martial Soul: Sausage (Level 14)

Holder: Oscar

Destructive Power: None; Speed: None; Range: E; Stamina: D; Precision: E; Development Potential: A+

Martial Soul Ability: Can summon delicious sausages with a rich texture to eat. In theory, eating them can also restore Soul Power or provide buffs.