I Became a Spirit in Date A Live, but I Refuse to Date

"Commander, I think the classic movie theater is the way to go. Nothing sets the mood like sitting together in the dark."

"I agree. If they go to the aquarium, Shido's knowledge of fish won't be up to scratch. Instead of impressing her, he'll make a fool of himself."

That was how Kawagoe, who was "quick to grow bored," and Minowa, who was "under protective observation," explained their choices.

"You make good points." Kotori smiled in approval.

"Huh? Commander, why not pick option three?" Kannazuki asked from the side, sounding dissatisfied.

"Just imagine Shido tied up on a hotel bed with thick hemp rope, while Miss Lingmeng, dressed in a tight leather outfit, lashes him with a whip.

"Then, after Shido lets out a cry of pleasure, the innocent boy and girl cross the threshold into adulthood... No, just thinking about it makes my whole body ache with desire. Commander, please whip me!"

Kannazuki hugged his shoulders, his face flushed and a trickle of drool running from the corner of his mouth.

Kotori merely narrowed her eyes and smiled.

"Sure. As you wish." With that, she snapped her fingers.

Just then, two incredibly muscular men appeared from nowhere. Each grabbed one of Kannazuki's arms, leaving him trapped between them.

"You two, drag this pervert to the back and teach him a lesson!"

"Oh, yes!" The two muscular men dragged Kannazuki away.

"I'm terribly sorry, Commander! I was only joking! Please let me go! Ah, no!"

The crew gave him looks that said he was beyond saving, then went back to work.

Ignoring Kannazuki's pleas, Kotori picked up the microphone.

"Shido, take Lingmeng to the movies."

The Sour Stench of Romance

"Hey... Lingmeng, would you like to see a movie?" Shido asked cautiously.

"The movies? I don't mind, but you'll have to pay. I don't have the money for a ticket."

Lingmeng shrugged. She was happy enough to watch a movie; if they were just sitting through a film, she wouldn't have to interact with Shido much.

"Okay... There's a movie theater nearby. Let's go there."

With that, Shido took Lingmeng to the theater.

"Wow, three movies opened today? Nice timing."

Lingmeng looked at the listings on the board.

"Which one do you want to see?"

"Anything's fine. You're paying, so just pick one." Shido paused. "All right..."

"Kotori, which movie should Lingmeng and I watch?" Shido tapped his earpiece again to ask.

"Another multiple-choice question?" Kotori said helplessly as she looked at the options Fraxinus's AI had produced.

① "School Days: Pure Love Edition. The story of how the innocent protagonist, Makoto Itou, stays devoted to his classmate Kotonoha Katsura despite the temptations of numerous beautiful girls."

② "Puella Magi Madoka Magica: Healing Edition. After an accident turns Madoka Kaname into a magical girl, she and her friends spend their heartwarming days bickering and fighting evil."

③ "Bullet Battle. An animated film about a girl named Sansan, who somehow arrives in a place called the Neighboring Realm and battles all the quasi-spirits there."

"Same rules as always, everyone. Pick one in five seconds!" Kotori said, taking the Chupa Chups out of her mouth.

"Got it!" The crew voted as quickly as ever, and their choices appeared at once on the commander's screen.

The results were two votes for ①, two for ②, and two for ③.

"Why are there only six votes? Where's Kannazuki?"

"Commander, the vice commander is over there."

Kotori looked where the crew pointed. Kannazuki lay sprawled on the floor, staring blankly ahead as though all his dreams had been crushed.

"No more of those muscular men... They're too scary..." he murmured. Clearly, he was in no state to make a choice.

"Well, that's fine. At least he won't pick something ridiculous." Kotori showed no sympathy. "The votes are tied. What do you think we should choose?"

"A date calls for a youthful romance! That way, the two of them can see themselves in the story!"

Senbon, the "president," spoke confidently.

"No, no. Girls usually like cute things, so option two is the best choice," Shiizaki, the "cursed doll," countered.

"You've had it wrong from the start. Lingmeng said she needed to go back and grind in a game, which means she's an otaku. For an otaku, option three—the animated film—is the smart choice!" Nakatsugawa, the "dimension traveler," said, pushing up his glasses.

"Hmm. You all make good points, but if I had to choose..." Kotori picked up the microphone. "Shido, choose option one!"

"Okay... Got it..." Shido nodded on the screen, then turned to Lingmeng. "Could we watch School Days?"

Lingmeng blinked. She had told Shido to choose, but if she had to pick, she would rather have seen Bullet Battle. Since he had chosen this one, though, she would go along with it.

"You don't like it...?" Shido asked anxiously when Lingmeng said nothing.

"Well, it's not that I dislike it. If you want to see School Days, I'll watch it with you."

Lingmeng collected herself and answered him.

"Okay. Let's go in." Shido nodded and led Lingmeng into the screening room.

"Tch. Did I pick wrong?" Kotori muttered aboard Fraxinus.

Lingmeng might not have shown it, but Fraxinus's giant screen made it perfectly clear that she wasn't pleased.

"Wow, quite a few people came to see School Days. Is it really that good?"

Now seated beside Shido, Lingmeng glanced around at the audience.

She wanted to comment on the movie sharing its name with an anime from her original world, but the size of the audience sparked her interest.

Just then, the image appeared on the screen, and the movie began.

After watching for a while, Lingmeng was disappointed. How should she put it? In her original world, this would have been a formulaic romance movie. In short—

The protagonist, Makoto Itou, was a poor but kind boy who was handsome and did well in school. He had plenty of admirers, but being utterly oblivious, Makoto knew nothing about them. He only had eyes for his classmate Kotonoha Katsura.

Kotonoha Katsura was a beautiful, introverted young woman from a wealthy family. She and Makoto liked each other, but neither knew how the other felt. As a result, Makoto's admirers made life miserable for a pair who otherwise seemed perfect for each other.

After that, Makoto and Kotonoha worked hard, and the two finally ended up together.

If that had been all, Lingmeng could have treated the movie as a way to pass the time. What truly disgusted her was that, as the movie reached its climax, the couples around her could no longer keep their hands off each other.

In an instant, the air filled with the sour stench of romance.

The couples in the rows ahead weren't too bad. At most, they hugged and called each other's names tenderly. The ones in the back went too far.

Take the couple directly in front of Lingmeng. Despite the people around them, they slipped their hands inside each other's clothes and launched into a passionate French kiss, all while whispering to each other.

"Binbin, I love you. No one in the world could love you more than I do."

"No, A Wei, I love you even more!"

"You can't love me more. My love is already at its limit!"

"Then my love has gone past the limit!"

Beep— Lingmeng's brain shut down as she stared at the couple in front of her. There was so much wrong with what she had just witnessed that she didn't know where to start.

What the hell are you two saying? Are you trying to turn this into porn? Slow down! And your name's A Wei too? How many A Weis are there in the world?!

Why do I have to watch couples make out when all I wanted was a movie? Stop flaunting your love in front of me, damn it!

"Hey, Shido! What happened? Why is Lingmeng so worked up?" Kotori asked hurriedly, watching the affection meter on the giant screen.

"What do you mean, what happened? Lingmeng's perfectly..." Shido turned to look at Lingmeng and immediately fell silent.

Lingmeng was gripping the armrest, her face twisted and the veins standing out on her forehead. She looked ready to explode.

Time to Eat

"Lingmeng... what's wrong?" Shido asked, breaking into a nervous sweat at the sight of her expression.

"Nothing. I'm just not comfortable with the atmosphere in here."

Lingmeng gritted her teeth, struggling to contain her anger.

You happy couples can all face the wrath of the mighty FFF Group!

"Uh... I see." Shido glanced around at everyone shamelessly displaying their affection and felt a pang of discomfort himself as a single guy.

"Do you want to leave now?"

"Yes. The sooner, the better."

Shido had asked awkwardly, and Lingmeng answered without hesitation.

Without waiting to see whether the movie had ended, the two left the screening room.

"Hey, Shido, Lingmeng's pretty worked up right now. Find something to talk about and take her mind off it!"

"I know." With his sister calling instructions into his ear, Shido could only do as she said.

"Hey... Lingmeng, did you have breakfast?"

"I couldn't afford it. Tohka ate through almost all my money yesterday. She's a bottomless pit."

Lingmeng folded her arms, sounding annoyed. Beside her, Shido scratched his cheek awkwardly.

So she hasn't eaten, basically?

"Then would you like to get something to eat with me?"

"Your treat?" Lingmeng's expression changed.

"Of course." Shido nodded.

Lingmeng grabbed Shido's hand, overflowing with gratitude.

"Great! That's my buddy. You're so generous!"

With no money to spare, Lingmeng accepted immediately. She had already decided to make Shido her source of free meals.

"Where are we going? What are we eating?" Lingmeng asked, her eyes shining.

"Uh... Well..." Shido froze. He had originally planned to buy Lingmeng a crepe or some okonomiyaki while they were out.

But he was afraid she might dislike his choice as she had with the movie, so he didn't know how to bring it up.

"Tch. Looks like another tough choice."

Fraxinus's AI presented another set of options. This time, the crew started voting before Kotori even said a word.

① "Go to an upscale French restaurant."

② "Pick a random place on the food street."

③ "Get grilled skewers from a street stall."

Option ① received the most votes by far: five. Options ② and ③ received one and none, respectively.

"A date is important. Of course they should go to a French restaurant with a nice atmosphere."

"Agreed. What's the point of picking option two? They can eat that kind of food any day."

"Option three isn't even worth considering. Taking a girl out for street-stall skewers on a date would feel halfhearted."

The crew's discussion drifted up from below. Kotori nodded in satisfaction.

She snatched up the microphone and ordered, "Shido, take her to the French restaurant nearby. Don't worry about the cost. We'll arrange things with the restaurant in advance."