Pieces of the People

Jason was inside a Church that no surveillance camera could find.

"Jason Todd, right? You've got some nerve." Roland sneered. "I opened my heart to you, and you pissed all over it. I treated you to a meal out of kindness, and this is how you repay me?"

"Can I say this was a misunderstanding?" Hanging upside down from a cross, Jason looked pitifully at Roland.

"Do you think I'd believe that?" Roland toyed with the hat he had snatched off Jason's head, studied it for a while, then casually put it back on him.

"Abandon that hope! A new law rules Wonderland, Alice. It is hasty punishment, meted out everywhere. We are all in grave danger here. You... must stay alert!" Jason's voice suddenly turned mysterious and animated as he recited passages from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

"What an impressive hypnosis device." Roland marveled, continuing to experiment on Jason.

"Let me go... Alice, where do you want to go... It's illegal to imprison minors... Then it doesn't matter which way you go..." Jason alternated between two completely different styles of speech.

"This is good stuff. Maybe I can use it to lure over a little nun in stockings and a garter belt." Roland held the hat in his hands, his eyes shining.

But before he finished speaking, Batman came crashing through the Church's stained-glass window on a motorcycle like a savior, descending over Roland's head like an Angel amid a thousand shafts of colored light.

"Holy shit..." Roland's jaw dropped.

Still hanging upside down, Jason's eyes lit up too. A motorcycle that cool was simply irresistible to a boy.

Batman jumped off the motorcycle and gave Roland an icy look. "Who are you?"

"My name is Roland." Roland handed over his ID card.

"...Chinese?" Batman spoke Mandarin with a thick Tibetan Plateau accent. "No passport?"

"I really don't have one..." Roland struggled to decipher what Batman was saying. "How about you stick to English? I can understand some."

"What did you come to Gotham for?"

"To be a good person and do good deeds," Roland answered honestly, then watched the bat-shaped figure walk straight up to him and lift him off the ground.

"Believe me! I really am a good person!"

"Then what's going on with this child?"

"I was kind enough to buy him a meal, and he repaid me by stealing my stuff. I caught him red-handed with the stolen goods! The evidence is right there!" Roland pointed at the stolen item on the table.

On the table sat a small statue of Jesus. It looked as though it had previously been set into the Church wall.

"So you decided to take punishment into your own hands?"

"Nothing that extreme. I was planning to make him work here for free."

"...What were you just doing to him?" Batman set Roland down and picked up the hat beside him. "This is a Brainwave Controller invented by the Mad Hatter. It's an extremely dangerous piece of technology. You can't just use it on people."

"I was only testing it..."

Batman fell silent for a moment, still staring coldly at Roland. From what he could observe, the man's physiological responses didn't suggest that he was lying, but something still felt strange.

"All right. I'm taking you to the Police Department now. Anything else you want to say?"

"So you're saying that because I haven't shown proof of legal status, illegally took in a young boy and put him to work, took punishment into my own hands, and possessed high-tech equipment of unknown origin, you're taking me to the Police Department?" Roland spread his hands. "Seriously, which of those things haven't you done?"

"It seems you know a few things about me." Batman narrowed his eyes. Now he understood where that strange feeling had come from.

Roland was far too relaxed. Was it because his conscience was clear, or did he have something else to fall back on?

"I've heard a few legends."

The two stared at each other. Batman tried to spot a crack in Roland's composure, while Roland carefully considered which version of Batman this was... First, rule out Lego Batman.

"Could you two let me down before you keep talking?" Jason suggested, unable to stand hanging upside down any longer.

"Sure." Roland let Jason down and sneered. "But we haven't settled the matter of you stealing my stuff."

"I know." Jason raised his hands. "I agree to that unpaid work you mentioned."

"Just so we're clear, not only is there no pay, there are no weekends or holidays. We operate on a 007 schedule: midnight to midnight, seven days a week," Roland said mercilessly, before dangling empty promises. "The company... I mean, the Church is struggling right now. We all need to pull together and get through this, so don't get hung up on the details. Once we go public, you'll be one of the founding members. Just wait for those dividends."

Batman glanced at him in silence, suddenly feeling that this priest was more of a capitalist than he was.

"Okay." Jason agreed without hesitation. Working twenty-four hours a day? Doesn't that just mean free room and board? He even wanted to bring his other broke buddies over to work.

"All right, you two can discuss your working relationship later. Let's go to the Police Department first," Batman said.

"I have to go too?" Jason asked.

"There are questions for you about the Mad Hatter," Batman explained. "Everyone he controlled with those hats this time ended up in the hospital. You're the only one who's unharmed. And Roland, you spoke to him while you were lucid. The police need some leads."

"...Can't you just ask us yourself?" Roland asked, puzzled. "Do we really need to make the trip?"

"The police need leads. If you don't go, they might come here, and that could lead to unnecessary conflict," Batman said, climbing onto the Batcycle.

"Fine." Roland's eyes darted over the Batcycle. "How about doing us a favor and giving us a ride?"

Without a word, Batman revved the engine and rode out of the Church.

The police channel in his earpiece crackled to life again. Gotham City's night was still long, and the bat had no time to waste.

"What a rude guy," Roland couldn't help grumbling.

"...Man, I really wanted to try riding that motorcycle," Jason sighed.

"Same here." Roland nodded. "Let's go... By the way, do you know how to get to the Police Department?"

"Yeah." Jason nodded. "It's a quick subway ride."

"What subway? We're walking."

"Seriously? Do you know how far it is?"

"However far it is, we're going to have to walk." Roland turned his pockets inside out. They were completely empty.

"Who needs money to ride the subway?" Jason began sharing his little survival tips. "Just jump the turnstile, or squeeze through the emergency exit."

"Great idea!" Roland agreed cheerfully. "Let's go."

"But even if we can sneak onto the subway, what are we going to eat from now on? I don't mind working for free, but you can't let me starve to death here."

"There's enough pasta in the kitchen to feed us both for a few days. You won't starve," Roland said.

"And after those few days?"

"I have my ways." Roland smiled. "By the way, don't you know a lot of street kids? Go find them tomorrow. I want to treat them to a meal."

"...Batman was just at your Church. Don't try anything," Jason warned.

"What kind of person do you take me for? I'm just trying to do something good, okay?" Roland declared self-righteously. "Come on. We're heading out."

"Okay." Jason followed Roland out the door, then stepped on an arm.

The good news was that he hadn't stepped on a person. The bad news was that he'd stepped on a piece of one.