Indecent Behavior

[Ah Yin was furious with you, but what could she do? Even if she wanted to force you to do something, she simply couldn't.]

[You put everything else out of your mind and focused on studying your body. You didn't want to eat seaweed and egg-drop soup, but you still wanted to see whether things would work. Unsurprisingly, it was the same as before. Just like Su Laoliu, your body showed no response whatsoever to your physical needs.]

[You began to suspect something unclean had latched on to you. No matter what you tried, you couldn't coax the slightest response from your body.]

[Then you tried using your consciousness to build a bridge to your body, hoping to bring the two completely into sync.]

[Your approach wasn't wrong, and you soon saw results. They were just barely noticeable. By your rough estimate, bringing your body and consciousness into sync would take at least eighty to a hundred years.]

[You gave up for the time being and began thinking about how to pave the way for Tang San to become a god as quickly and smoothly as possible.]

[You thought for a long time but couldn't find anything else to change. You decided to go out for a walk and see whether you'd overlooked something.]

You arrived at Shrek Academy. After your training, its teachers and students had all become remarkably well-behaved. Dai Mubai and Ma Hongjun had changed the most. Ever since the Bu Le Trio and Truck Tire's group of three had violated them, they had thrown themselves into cultivation with an almost obsessive fervor.

After all, Dai Mubai and Ma Hongjun had only been two or three years older than Tang San at the time. Anyone would have been traumatized by an experience like that.

Ma Hongjun, who had devoted himself entirely to cultivation, had changed the most. The chubby kid had grown into a handsome young man.

You looked around, then disguised yourself and entered Shrek Academy.

Your arrival quickly caught the attention of Zhao Wuji, who was instructing the students in their cultivation.

You went up and briefly greeted everyone, then said you wanted your child to join Shrek Academy. But since the academy lacked certification as an advanced academy, you needed them to obtain it first.

Zhao Wuji took your words calmly. He figured you were there to cause trouble, but since you hadn't done anything to upset him yet, he saw no reason to fight.

You found this frustrating, but all you could do was show a little of your strength and let Zhao Wuji experience the authority of your mighty slaps.

Clutching his swollen, reddened cheek, Zhao Wuji glared at you in grief and outrage. "Kid, do you have any idea how much those slaps hurt me? Even if I die today, I, Zhao Wuji, won't let you get away with this!"

"You talk too much." Exasperated, you beat Zhao Wuji so badly that his own mother wouldn't have recognized him.

Dai Mubai, Ma Hongjun, and Oscar had been watching from the sidelines. When you looked their way, they thought you had something in mind for them. Without a moment's hesitation, all three dropped to their knees, each faster than the last.

Taken aback, you dragged Flender over and explained the situation again. Then you casually revealed that Xiao Wu was a nine-year-old Soul Elder.

Flender hadn't wanted to believe you, but your Wind Blade was already at his throat. Refusing meant death.

In the end, after a round of warm, friendly persuasion, you successfully won over every teacher and student at Shrek Academy. It certainly wasn't because you'd beaten them all so badly they could no longer take care of themselves, leaving everyone no choice but to agree.

Dai Mubai, Ma Hongjun, and Oscar felt terribly wronged. How had the three of them suffered such a calamity just for watching?

You felt a little bad about it, so you let them take turns experiencing Ming's Fatherly Headpat.

"Ooooooh—! That feels... so good!" Dai Mubai tingled all over, though his mind remained perfectly clear. It was like receiving a full-body spa treatment.

Under your control, Ming's Fatherly Headpat gained another effect: it could clear blocked meridians. A current of energy circulated through the body in a small heavenly circuit, clearing the meridians along the way. Combined with the headpat's spark of insight, it made the process twice as effective for half the effort.

After experiencing Ming's Fatherly Headpat, Dai Mubai, Ma Hongjun, and Oscar all wanted to call you their godfather.

You saw Flender, Zhao Wuji, and the others looking eager to do the same. With a wave of your hand, you gained several more godsons.

"Since you've all been so sensible, heh heh heh, I'll let you experience Ming's Fatherly Headpat one more time." You rewarded everyone at Shrek Academy again. A blissful ease spread through their bodies, and some even slipped straight into a meditative state.

Once you had dealt with Shrek Academy, you wanted to merge it directly with Blue Tyrant Academy. But Flender was still standing there with a look of bliss on his face. Taking him along like that would be too embarrassing.

After a little education from your fists and feet, Flender returned to normal. The flush faded from his face, though he still looked reluctant to let the feeling go.

"Little Lanlan, hurry back. I'll miss you while you're gone." Zhao Wuji pulled a silk handkerchief from somewhere and dabbed at his cheek, looking deeply reluctant to part.

"Little Jiji, make sure you eat and drink well while I'm away. Don't let yourself go hungry~" Flender looked just as reluctant.

You stared at Zhao Wuji and Flender's flirtatious exchange, unable to understand what had happened. Then you checked with your clone at Shrek Academy. In an instant, everything you thought you knew about the world was shaken.

Your clone told you that after you left, it had kept educating everyone at Shrek Academy. As the lessons went on, some of them banded together, hoping to resist. No one knew who started it, but two of the men began sharing a bed every night and doing almost everything together. Gradually, their friendship turned into something closer to love.

Finally, one night, Zhao Wuji asked Flender to play cards with him. Flender resisted at first, but once he gave it a try, he fell in love with the game.

You felt as though your ears were under attack from a higher-dimensional being. They felt unclean. A little part of you died inside.

You watched Zhao Wuji and Flender playfully shove each other, then embrace and kiss in broad daylight. Now your eyes felt unclean too.