Run for It!

You still hadn't figured out what was going on when the Ice Empress attacked. You dodged again and again, bewildered, but she stayed on your heels and kept up her assault.

"Damn it! You think I'm just some mouse because I haven't fought back?" you cursed, then slipped into the wind.

The Ice Empress's attacks came down like a tidal wave, but they did absolutely nothing to you.

The Snow Empress watched without stopping her. She wanted to see how strong you, a member of her own kind, really were.

"Get out here, you little trash! What kind of man hides?" the Ice Empress yelled when she realized she couldn't hit you.

You were speechless. Then you reached out and smacked her little backside. "Nice feel, but there's no meat on it. Little scorpion, you need to eat more so your butt can grow."

The Ice Empress was mortified. Having her backside slapped felt like an insult to her very being. Throwing caution aside, she unleashed every kind of ability she had, determined to kill you.

It was a lovely fantasy. Reality was less kind. You stood before her without a scratch, yawned, pulled out a bottle of wild dog milk, and drank it at your leisure.

"**Aaaah! Die already! You bastard! Die! Pervert! Trash! Lolicon!**" the Ice Empress screamed. She wanted to plant her foot on your chest and face and humiliate you properly.

Her insults only made you happier. You looked as though you wanted more.

You suddenly felt a chill around your backside, as though someone had designs on it. You glanced left and right, unable to understand why you felt that way.

The Ice Empress stood before you, waving her arms in a huff. You reached out and pinched her cheek.

The moment she realized you could touch her, she kicked straight at your crotch. Unfortunately for her, she failed to take you down.

Her short leg passed through your body. Your form was made of wind: it had a shape, but no substance.

Watching you and the Ice Empress, the Snow Empress glared at the Titan Snow Demon King, who was standing to one side enjoying the show, and motioned for him to leave.

The Titan Snow Demon King tried to show off his manliness. The Snow Empress sent him flying with a single Emperor Palm: Great Cold Without Snow.

The Titan Snow Demon King had one thing to say about it: he couldn't fly, but he certainly could be sent flying.

The Snow Empress came over and separated you from the Ice Empress. Then she asked you to mate with her.

You didn't understand. You were stunned. You questioned everything.

Beside you, the Ice Empress looked on enviously. She wished she were the one mating with the Snow Empress, then decided she would join you both.

Before you could respond, the Snow Empress drove the Ice Empress into the snow, leaving only her head sticking out.

You saw the hungry look in the Snow Empress's eyes and couldn't understand why Su Laoliu hadn't faced this ordeal. You felt deeply uneasy. If you mated with her, wouldn't she drain you dry?

"**Run for it!**" You fled, deciding never to return to the Far North.

Even the Power of Heaven and Earth under the Snow Empress's control could no longer stop you. You were so fast that after half a minute of pursuit, she had lost sight of you.

The Ice Empress was delighted. You wouldn't get to ravage the Snow Empress, which meant she could do it herself.

Furious that you had spurned her sincere feelings, the Snow Empress took her anger out on the Ice Empress. Her little backside received a hundred consecutive smacks.

You returned to Nuoding City, only to make the miserable discovery that you had flown a little too fast. Just a few hours had passed between running away from home and coming back.

You suddenly felt that being too fast wasn't always a good thing. "Quick man" was not a title you wanted.

Once you were home, you acquired an extra attachment: Ah Yin. She clung to you, wanting kisses, hugs, and to be lifted high into the air.

You looked at Ah Yin, then chose to avoid the issue once again. Sitting in a chair with your chin propped on both hands, you looked like a thinker perched on a toilet.

Ah Yin was still clinging to you, though she had moved from your front to your back and was now sitting on your neck. Anyone who knew you might think you were bonding. Anyone who didn't might think you were a father playing with his daughter.

You pondered for a long time. Then Tang San and Xiao Wu came home, and you acquired two more attachments begging for headpats.

You made the miserable discovery that you were becoming a mindless headpat machine. You decided that from now on, you would pat Tang San and Xiao Wu on the head only once a week, and Ah Yin twice.

When they heard the terrible news, Xiao Wu and Ah Yin abandoned all dignity and rolled around on the floor in front of you, throwing tantrums. Tang San wasn't much better. He gazed at you with the tragic expression of an innocent young man whose heart had been shattered.

You refused to give in. Rules were rules, and starting today, you had to curb Tang San, Ah Yin, and Xiao Wu's dependence on your headpats.

In the ninth year of the Simulation, you had learned to use Ming's Fatherly Headpat with precision. Simply touching someone no longer triggered it.

Thanks to Ming's Fatherly Headpat, Tang San, Ah Yin, and Xiao Wu progressed at a frightening rate.

Tang San and Xiao Wu were physically nine years old. With help from Ming's Fatherly Headpat, they had already reached the Soul Elder realm and would soon become Soul Ancestors. Ah Yin was even more outrageous: though physically around thirteen, she was close to becoming a Soul Saint.

The only drawback was that Ah Yin's cultivation had grown over the years, but her height hadn't.

You looked at Ah Yin, who still didn't reach the top of your leg, and couldn't bring yourself to lay a wicked hand on her. In the end, you chose to live apart from her.

It wasn't that a legal loli was a bad thing. Ah Yin just looked far too young. You felt that if you did anything you shouldn't with her, you would spend the next moment wondering why your seaweed-and-egg soup had egg in it, but no seaweed or soup.