Farm
Xina stood at the stairway entrance, watching Kovishik's one-sided siege of Chloe from start to finish.
Fatima had just asked the butler to call Xina over and have her keep an eye on Chloe. If Chloe merely wanted to make trouble for Kovishik, she could let her, but if the child turned around and went back to the garden to pick a fight with those two Quicksilver Needles, Xina had to stop her.
Leaning against the railing, Xina watched Chloe and Kovishik trade barbs as though she were enjoying a show.
There was little in how things had developed to this point that surprised her. The only thing that astonished and exhausted her was Chloe's excessive energy—though she was only three years older than Chloe, watching from the sidelines somehow made her feel old already.
Xina asked herself whether there was still anything in her life worth being intensely angry or desperately sad over. Yet after thinking for a long time, she found no answer. Chloe began screaming and crying again. Many people in the house had grown tired of it, but at that moment, the sound stirred Xina's self-pity. She felt that she harbored some kind of wish, yet she had no idea what that wish ought to be.
Never had Xina felt so keenly that life was grinding her down.
This sudden realization was like gaining another sense of touch, allowing her to truly feel, for the first time, life's dullness and ordinariness. Even if she did not know what she wanted, her desire for change suddenly became incomparably clear. Xina gripped the stair railing as a surging tide suddenly rose within her.
Let something happen, a voice in Xina's heart began to scream.
*Even if it is disaster, even if it is misfortune—no matter what, let