A Shuriken from Eight Hundred Li Away

“Who's there?” As Guang drew closer, Hashirama Senju dodged backward. It was aimed at him.

Everyone else hurried to a halt as well, holding their breath as they scanned their surroundings warily.

Dave stared at the kunai embedded in the tree. This plot... huh... why does it feel so familiar...?

A kunai thrown from eight hundred li away? Kakuzu? Holy shit, Kakuzu?

"Old Father, hurry and sense whether that guy's gotten far!" Dave quickly turned toward Old Father and called out.

Mito Uzumaki had the strongest sensory abilities in Konoha. After her came his own old father, Tobirama, whose sensory technique could cover all of Konoha.

Tobirama nodded, crouched down, placed a hand on the ground, and closed his eyes...

"I found him... A masked man with green Pupil. Judging by his forehead protector, he seems to be from Takigakure," Tobirama said with a nod a moment later.

"Big brother, should we capture him?" Tobirama asked Hashirama beside him.

"Capture him." Madara first set Dave down from his back. Before Hashirama could say anything, he charged off, leaving only those words echoing behind him...

Eight hundred li away.

"Fuck, this is such bullshit! Madara Uchiha, Hashirama Senju, Tobirama Senju... Why the fuck are all three of them here?! How am I supposed to ambush him now? Run!" Kakuzu muttered as he fled.

He had accepted a mission from his village to assassinate Hashirama Senju on his way to the Five Kage Summit. But the fucking village hadn't mentioned that Madara Uchiha and Tobirama Senju would be coming along too! Was this a joke? Were all those bastards in the village's intelligence network raised by dogs? How the hell had they gathered their intel?

A wise man knows when to back down. Yes, this is a tactical flanking retreat. Definitely not because I can't beat them and got scared. Right, that's what I'll say when I get back. Kakuzu had already worked out his excuse.

"Where do you think you're running?" Just as Kakuzu was happily assuming he had escaped danger, a figure suddenly appeared in front of him.

"M-Ma... Madara... Madara Uchiha..." At the sight of the figure who had suddenly appeared before him, Kakuzu's face went ashen...

"Damn it! I won't go down without a fight! Water Release: Great Barrage!" Kakuzu figured that if it was only Madara Uchiha, he could take his chances!

Kakuzu formed hand seals and spat several two-meter-wide water bullets at Madara.

"Fire Release: Majestic Destroyer Flame!" Madara Uchiha watched him coldly, crossed his hands in front of his mouth, and spewed an immense wall of fire.

Water and fire collided, kicking up a cloud of dust that blotted out the sky. Kakuzu tried to seize the chance to flee, only to see a pair of red eyes watching him through the dust.

"Sharingan!" Kakuzu cried out...

A short while later.

Madara Uchiha dragged the half-dead Kakuzu back to the others.

"You're from Takigakure?" Tobirama looked down at Kakuzu on the ground, spotted the forehead protector on his head, and asked with a cold smile.

"No," Kakuzu answered stubbornly.

"Interesting. Did your village send you on a mission to assassinate my big brother?" Tobirama asked evenly with a cold chuckle.

Kakuzu stubbornly stuck out his proud little lips again... Some might ask... how could anyone see his mouth when he was wearing a mask? Well... according to Dave... you could still see it... though he wasn't sure whether that was because Madara Uchiha had swollen it up with a beating...

"All right, you can go back," Hashirama said slowly as he walked over.

"Big brother, we can't let him go! He came here to assassinate you!" Tobirama was utterly dumbfounded...

"Let him go, Tobirama. It's not as though he succeeded," Hashirama said, smiling and shaking his head.

Tobirama opened his mouth to say something... But when he saw his big brother's cheerful expression, he ended up saying nothing...

Dave, Madara, and Izuna had even less reason to say anything. He was the one who had been targeted, after all. If he didn't care, why should they?

"You... you're just letting me go?? You're really letting me go??" Kakuzu asked, still finding it hard to believe.

"What, you're not leaving? Want us to keep you here for dinner?" Dave rolled his eyes and said, speechless.

Kakuzu glanced at Dave, seemingly committing the brat who had mocked him to memory, then hurriedly ran off.

Hashirama watched Kakuzu's retreating figure with a smile... For all that he seemed to spend his days as Hokage doing nothing and knowing nothing, if that were really true, how could the village tolerate him as Hokage? Of course... maybe one giant Buddha would convince them... But Hashirama truly devoted himself to the village. It was, after all, the culmination of a lifetime of effort.

He also knew the situation in Takigakure. People who carried out assassination missions like this had a name: the Takigakure Assassination Squad. They specialized in these dirty missions. If you succeeded, all was well—you received rewards and prestige from the village. But if you failed, all that awaited you upon your return was the stigma of failure and severe punishment. That was a cruel way to treat someone like Kakuzu, who had staked his very life on his village.

He could imagine what awaited the man who had tried to assassinate him once he returned... This was a pitiful man... And Hashirama, whose goal was peace in the shinobi world, naturally had no desire to slaughter such pitiful people...

"All right, let's get moving again," Hashirama said with a smile, beckoning to everyone.

Madara hoisted Dave onto his back again, and the group continued toward the Land of Iron.

Elsewhere, after Kakuzu had run five hundred li, a writhing figure slowly emerged from a waist-high rock on the ground ahead of him.

The Rune Eater was used to devour gravestones in Plants vs. Zombies. Here in the shinobi world, it was absolutely fucking useless. What, were a few zombies going to pop out of the gravestones here?

But now that it had arrived in the shinobi world, its functions had indeed changed. It could record people's voices and images, and could appear on any object standing on the ground within a five-hundred-li radius centered on Dave. It was a good choice for delivering messages.

"Kakuzu, if you become disappointed in your village after returning and choose to defect, you can come find me in Konoha," the Rune Eater said in a somewhat serious voice as it slowly writhed.

"Who are you?" Kakuzu was very wary of this strange thing that had suddenly appeared, and he already had a kunai in his hand.

"I'm that handsome little white-haired guy from earlier. I think you're pretty good. If you defect and can't get by afterward, you can come find me," the Rune Eater slowly played the recorded voice.

"Heh, I would never defect!" Kakuzu's eyes were full of disdain. How could he possibly betray his village?

The Rune Eater had finished playing its recording, and slowly sank back into the ground and vanished. The message had been delivered.