Objective: Roast all Five Kage

As for why Dave wanted to recruit Kakuzu, well... he rather admired Kakuzu's financial instincts. One day, he would make a fine Boss who exploited his employees and doubled down on the nine-to-nine, six-days-a-week work schedule.

Konoha needed talent like that, and so did Dave!

After traveling all day, the group finally arrived in the Land of Iron.

"Wow, so this is the Land of Iron?" Dave said, his eyes shining as he looked at the city enclosed by towering walls.

It had been almost two years since Dave had transmigrated, and he had barely ever left the village. Konoha was the only relatively prosperous place he had seen; he had never even visited the Land of Fire's royal capital. The city before him really did bear some resemblance to the ancient imperial capitals he had seen online in his previous life.

"Come on, let's head inside." Hashirama smiled and led everyone toward the city gates.

"Halt! Who are you?" The soldier guarding the gates abruptly thrust his long sword across their path and demanded in a stern voice.

"We're from Konoha in the Land of Fire. I'm Hashirama Senju, and these are my guards. We've come to the Land of Iron for the Five Kage Summit," Hashirama said with a smile.

"Oh! Lord Hokage! Please, come in, come in. The Kage from the Land of Wind and the Land of Earth have already arrived." Upon hearing that he was the Hokage, the guard hurriedly lowered his sword and spoke with the utmost respect.

"Mm." Hashirama nodded and led everyone inside.

"Wait, Lord Hokage... this child... is he one of your guards too?" Just then, the guard spotted little White-Hair Dave among the adults and hurriedly stopped Hashirama to ask.

"You're the fucking child! You're the child! I'm thirty-eight years old! I was just born unable to grow any bigger!" Veins bulged on Dave's forehead as he jumped up and rapped the guard on the head.

He was telling the truth, too. His age from his previous life, added to his current age, really did make thirty-eight...

"Uh, sorry for being presumptuous. Please, come in, come in." Feeling rather wronged, the guard rubbed his head and hurriedly let them through.

It seemed he had fallen for it...

Once they were inside the city...

"Uncle Madara, hehe! How was my acting?" Dave leaped into Madara's arms, and Madara caught him. Dave grinned as he asked.

"Mm, not bad. Very clever. Yes, much cleverer than your father." Madara nodded, making sure to take a jab at Tobirama nearby.

"Damn you, Madara Uchiha! What did you say?! Say that again!" Unable to take it any longer, Tobirama Senju roared in fury.

"Oh, my big brother means that a certain someone is an idiot. His kid is much smarter than his father. He couldn't possibly be someone else's son, could he?" Izuna asked with a mocking laugh from the side.

"Uchiha Izuna! You're asking to die!"

"Tobirama Senju! Come at me if you've got the fucking guts!"

"Uchiha Izuna!"

"Tobirama Senju!"

Watching the two start fighting again at the slightest provocation, Hashirama felt a headache coming on...

His younger brother was usually so coolheaded and clever. Why had he become increasingly hot-tempered since Izuna's resurrection? Being his older brother was getting more and more exhausting...

"Come on, let's head to our lodgings first. The Kazekage and Tsuchikage should already be waiting there." Hashirama smiled helplessly and used Wood Release to stop the two from continuing their fight.

Along the way, Dave saw plenty of samurai wearing swords, all with sharp gazes. He even locked eyes with one of them. Fuck, if Madara weren't holding me right now, I'd beat the crap out of that samurai staring at me cross-eyed. Talk about looking down on someone. Sure, I'm a kid, but do you have to look at me cross-eyed?

A little while later.

"Hokage, this is the Five Kage Summit! What do you think this is, a family vacation?!" Seeing Hashirama arrive with his whole family in tow, Tsuchikage Ishikawa roared, veins bulging on his forehead.

The older generation: Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha. The younger adults: Uchiha Izuna and Tobirama Senju. The child: Senju Dave. Hmm, he really had brought the whole family along...

"Hey, old man, who the fuck are you looking down on? Fuck, I just saw someone cross-eyed, and your stare is even worse than hers! Can't you look me straight in the eye?!" Dave demanded, staring at Ishikawa, whose left eye was fine while his right tilted slightly to the right.

"Brat! Do you have a death wish?!" Veins bulged on Ishikawa's forehead as he pointed at Dave and roared angrily.

At a casual glance, Ishikawa really looked no different from an ordinary person. But if you looked closely, his right eye tilted slightly upward. Ishikawa knew about it, but he rarely paid it any attention, since nobody had ever mentioned it to him. Yet this little brat had actually pointed it out. (I thought of this after looking at pictures of Ishikawa online. Naruto scholars, don't flame me.)

"Bring it on, you squint-eyed old man!" Dave faced Ishikawa without the slightest fear. My Uncle Madara, my uncle, my old man, and Uncle Izuna are all here. With this lineup, beating the crap out of the other Four Kage wouldn't be a problem.

"Mu! Stop holding me back! I'm going to kill this brat!" Ishikawa was furious. Who the fuck normally dared act so brazenly toward him? Well, today he had finally met someone who did, and it was a fucking brat to boot.

"Um, Lord Tsuchikage... we're here for the Five Kage Summit, not to fight. Please calm down," Mu said helplessly as he restrained his teacher from behind.

"Sir, why are you wrapped up from head to toe? Could it be...? Sir... do you... do you have an STD, or... or something else?" Dave's goal today was to roast everyone present.

Roast all Five Kage: in progress.

A little while later.

"Master! Stop holding me back! I'm going to kill this brat! I'm going to kill him!" The situation had suddenly reversed. Now it was Ishikawa's turn to hold Mu back...

"Mu, we're here for the Five Kage Summit, not to fight. You need to calm down!" Ishikawa said helplessly. Sigh, this boy was just telling me to stay calm, and now he's lost his own temper... Looks like he still hasn't fully grasped the village's will of stone.

Madara picked Dave up again. Dave rolled his eyes at the two of them and picked his nose with his little finger, his face full of contempt.

Watching the two from Iwagakure freeze on the spot, everyone else went red in the face trying to hold back their laughter...

"Ishikawa, don't take it so seriously. He's just a child. You know how children are—they speak without any restraint. Just don't read too much into it." Reto, the First Kazekage of Sunagakure, smiled. Given an opportunity to needle the other side, how could he possibly pass up the chance to join in?