The bright moon framed the window, and the night was as lovely as a painting. Watery silver light spilled over the earth.
At the Empress's Jiaofang Palace, water had been requested a full seven times that night.
The young maids stationed outside the palace doors had not slept a wink, and the blushes on their faces had never faded.
By the time the Emperor fell asleep with the Empress in his arms, it was already the beginning of the hour of the ox. When the palace servants woke him, he felt as though he had only just closed his eyes.
Yet today, instead of feeling tired after waking, he felt a long-lost surge of energy.
It was as though he had returned to his childhood, when he had been brimming with vitality.
How wonderful childhood had been. After a night's sleep, all the energy spent the day before would be replenished.
As he grew older, that feeling had drifted further and further away.
That morning, the ministers attending court noticed that the officials who had bought medicinal wine from the Little Commandery Princess yesterday looked very different from usual.
Whatever condition they had been in before, every one of them radiated energy today.
One marquis was almost sixty, yet he was so full of vigor that he looked ready to charge around a battlefield again.
[Salty Fish System: Wow! Amazing! Host, everyone who drank your medicinal wine yesterday went seven rounds last night!]
[Hmph! This princess never plays in the minor leagues!]
The ministers: !!!!!
What?
Was that true?
But if those officials had all done that seven times last night, why had they come to morning court looking so energetic?
Weren't they tired?
How on earth had they managed it?
The Prince of Beiping felt the most aggrieved. His daughter had such effective medicinal wine, yet she hadn't given any to her own father first!
Boo-hoo-hoo!
When he got home, he was going to complain to his wife!
Their daughter didn't love them anymore!
[Salty Fish System: Wow! That Marquis of Dingyang is over sixty, and his wife is over fifty. Ever since their only son died in an accident twenty years ago, they haven't had another child. Their clansmen also hurt them so deeply that they had no intention of adopting a child from a collateral branch. The system just detected that, after tonight's activities, his wife has a ninety percent chance of becoming pregnant!]
The entire court: !!!!
What?!
Everyone living in the Capital City knew about the Marquis of Dingyang's household. Before his wife married, her stepmother had tormented her so badly that her health had been severely depleted.
After marrying the Marquis of Dingyang, she had spent nearly ten years recuperating before finally giving birth to a son.
Sadly, when their son was five, he had been playing with children from a collateral branch when one of them accidentally pushed him into a lake. The terrified children scattered, and because they failed to summon servants in time to rescue him, the couple's only child drowned in that lake.
The elderly couple had gone to that collateral branch to demand an explanation, but the family were utter scoundrels. They said that if the Marquis of Dingyang wanted a child so badly, he might as well pick one of theirs to adopt.
The elderly couple had been furious, and afterward, that collateral branch had stirred up still more trouble.
The Marquis of Dingyang had simply submitted a memorial to the Emperor, asking him to revoke the title of Marquis of Dingyang after his death.
After all, he had earned that noble title himself through genuine military merit.
His household had originally been nothing more than a declining aristocratic family in the capital.
Hearing the system say that his wife might become pregnant, the Marquis of Dingyang felt both excited and worried.
He was delighted that he would finally have an heir, yet worried whether his elderly wife's body could withstand childbirth at her age.
Then the old marquis toppled backward and fainted on the spot.
Imperial Physician Xue, who stood nearby, immediately took out a silver needle and inserted it into the philtrum beneath his nose.
The old marquis instantly regained consciousness. As expected of someone qualified to enter the Imperial Medical Academy, his skill was truly extraordinary.
Hearing the commotion, Wenren Luoshui and Yunjian looked over. Seeing that the Marquis of Dingyang had already come around, they turned their attention back.
[Salty Fish System: Wow, wow, wow! That's incredible!]
The system sounded like a kindergartner praised by a teacher, its voice brimming with delighted surprise.
[Yunjian: Little system, what have you discovered now? Why are you so excited?]
[Salty Fish System: I just checked again. Not only did I detect that the Marquis of Dingyang's wife will become pregnant, she'll be carrying eight at once!]
Thud!
With another heavy thump, the Marquis of Dingyang fainted on the spot again.
[Yunjian: Our medicinal wine doesn't seem to have any effect that teaches people to faint at the drop of a hat, does it?]
Wenren Luoshui nodded, and she and Yunjian both looked toward the Marquis of Dingyang, whom Imperial Physician Xue had revived with his needle once again.
[I think his body might just be too weak to handle such a potent tonic. That's why he keeps fainting today.]
[Yunjian: That makes sense. Our medicinal wine has real, proven results behind it. How could there possibly be anything wrong with it?]
[Exactly, exactly!]
[Salty Fish System: I just scanned the Marquis of Dingyang's body. He's quite healthy. Both times, he fainted because he became too emotionally excited.]
[Oh~ I get it, I get it!]
[Yunjian: Wow~]
The Marquis of Dingyang: Wait. What are you two little girls talking about?
What do you mean, you get it?
What exactly do you get?
The ministers: Don't get worked up, old marquis. If you faint again, you'll probably cement the impression you've made on the Little Commandery Princess and Little Lord Yun!
Unfortunately, the system didn't understand.
[Salty Fish System: You two know why the Marquis of Dingyang fainted? Care to share?]
[Yunjian: He must have remembered what he and his wife did last night.]
[Maybe those two got really adventurous last night~]
[Yunjian: Like using little toys such as leather whips and dripping wax.]
[And a scarlet bellyband embroidered with mandarin ducks.]
[As the phoenixes tumbled together, they forgot heaven and earth!]
The system's reaction was: You humans are so hard to understand. What's wrong with those things? Why do these two sound so sleazy when they name them?
The entire court: !!!!!!
What sorts of books do the Little Commandery Princess and Little Lord Yun usually read?
While Wenren Luoshui and Yunjian carried on their private discussion with blazing enthusiasm, the Marquis of Dingyang could think of nothing but the end of court.
His wife was pregnant!!!!
With eight at once?!
This-this-this!
He had been far too careless. How could he let his elderly wife take such a great risk bearing his children at her age?
Once court ended, he would rush home and discuss the matter with his wife. If she didn't want them, he would have someone procure an abortifacient and end the pregnancy.
Even young women took a journey through the gates of death when giving birth, let alone a woman his wife's age.
[Salty Fish System: But Host, the Marquis of Dingyang's wife is carrying eight at once. Even in an era with advanced medical care, doctors would recommend reducing the number of fetuses. This is ancient times, and she's an older mother besides. If something goes wrong, wouldn't they all be wiped out in one fell swoop?]
Although the system's words were hardly pleasant, they were reasonable. Everyone pricked up their ears, hoping to hear what solution the Little Commandery Princess had.
[That isn't too much of a problem either. Our medicinal wine boosts virility and strengthens the body in men, while nourishing yin and enhancing beauty in women. Once our shop officially opens, the Marquis of Dingyang can just come regularly to buy medicinal wine. But he mustn't drink it himself then. Only his wife should drink it, just a small cup each time, about a mouthful. That will benefit her health without harming the babies.]
Back then, we developed this medicinal wine precisely to address the birth rate problem during the Apocalypse.
If Wenren Luoshui remembered correctly, during the Apocalypse, one woman had drunk the medicinal wine for a while and then given birth to twelve babies in a single pregnancy-an entire soccer team!
Apparently, though, she had worried that if she only found one man, he might not be up to the task.
So she had simply gone to a male escort establishment and found twelve. Unexpectedly, every one of them had gotten her pregnant.
She was the leader of a small base, so she didn't have to worry about being unable to support the children.
Still, with her as a living advertisement, our medicinal wine sold out completely back then.