"Free hot springs, with meals and lodging included?" At those words, Lin Hao threw back the covers and sat bolt upright.
"What, it's not too much trouble anymore?" Professor Oak took a sip of tea with a smile.
"How could an ordinary person turn down a free five-star hotel?" Lin Hao started putting on his shoes. "This is a chance to milk the capitalists legally."
May rolled her eyes beside him. "Didn't you just say you wanted to laze around for three days and nights?"
"Lazing around in a hot spring and lazing around on a hard wooden bed are two different things." Lin Hao tied his shoelaces. "I'll wash my face in the backyard and stretch my legs while I'm at it."
With that, Lin Hao pushed open the back door and stepped into the spacious ecological backyard of Professor Oak's Laboratory.
It was an expansive stretch of pristine forest and lakes, with no outsiders around.
System, let those cooped-up troublemakers out for some air, Lin Hao instructed mentally. Turn on aura masking while you're at it. Don't scare the old man's other Pokémon to death.
Hum! Space rippled above the backyard lawn, and three figures appeared out of thin air: Groudon, a terrestrial behemoth covered in red armor, and Kyogre, a deep-blue ruler of the seas floating in midair like an enormous warship.
There was also Ho-Oh, the great bird wreathed in seven-colored divine flames.
"Roar! (Finally, we're out! There isn't even a sandpit in System Space!)" Groudon planted a foot on the grass and roared excitedly.
"Wooo! (You uncouth landlubber, don't get dirt everywhere.)" Kyogre rolled over in midair and flicked the water droplets off its tail in disdain.
Groudon turned its head. "Roar! (You rotten fish! Who are you calling uncouth? I'll stomp all your water into steam!)"
"Wooo! (Come on, then! You flightless idiot!)"
"Roar! (Who are you calling flightless?!!!)"
Groudon flew into a rage. Nothing infuriated it more than having its inability to fly thrown in its face!
Boom! Groudon stomped hard, pouring savage ground energy into the earth through its foot.
Vast Ground-type energy surged. Rumble! More than a dozen enormous, jagged rock spikes erupted from underground, stabbing viciously at Kyogre overhead.
"Wooo!" Refusing to back down, Kyogre gathered the surrounding moisture, condensing countless droplets out of thin air.
Origin Pulse! Several thick, eerie blue jets of water blasted through the air, meeting the Precipice Blade head-on.
Bang! Bang! Bang! Rock and water collided violently in midair, sending mud and spray everywhere as fierce winds whipped up!
Ho-Oh, which had been preening nearby, was splattered with mud. "Screee! (You two idiots! You've dirtied my noble feathers!)" Furious, Ho-Oh opened its beak and blasted them with Sacred Fire.
The three top-tier Legendary Pokémon crowded into the backyard, brawling with one another. Meanwhile, Lin Hao crouched beside the backyard faucet, brushing his teeth with a mouthful of foam.
He watched expressionlessly as mud, water, and flames flew everywhere. Pikachu sat on his shoulder, holding a packet of sunflower seeds and cracking them with relish as it enjoyed the show.
"Pika!" Pikachu spat out a mouthful of seed shells and pointed toward the fight, meaning: nice work, hit harder.
Just then, an ethereal, majestic voice tinged with profound exasperation sounded in Lin Hao's mind.
It was the voice of Arceus, the creator deity. "Stop."
Hum! An invisible power of law descended upon the backyard. The raging spray froze, the burning flames went out, and the jutting rocks crumbled to dust.
Groudon, Kyogre, and Ho-Oh all became unable to move, frozen in place as though someone had pressed pause.
"I let you out for some air, not to demolish the place." Arceus's voice sounded weary.
The three Legendary Pokémon immediately lowered their heads, not daring to make a sound. Lin Hao spat out the foam, wiped his face with a towel, and strolled over.
"Go on, fight. Why did you stop?" Lin Hao pointed at the wreckage on the ground. "That was a pretty good Precipice Blade. The Origin Pulse was quite accurate, too."
The three Legendary Pokémon looked even guiltier. Groudon quietly edged half a step backward, while Kyogre guiltily lowered its hovering height.
Lin Hao sighed and returned them to System Space. "All you think about is fighting. No premium Pokéblocks for a month." A chorus of wails rose from System Space.
"What happened? Was there an earthquake?" Professor Oak hurried into the backyard with his teacup, May at his side.
When Professor Oak saw the scene before him, the teacup slipped from his hand and shattered on the ground with a crash.
The northwest corner of the backyard had held his premium cabbage patch, which he had cleared himself, enriched with high-grade fertilizer, and tended with meticulous care.
Now it was an enormous, steaming mud pit! Not even a single cabbage leaf remained!
"My premium cabbages!" Professor Oak let out an anguished cry and lunged to the edge of the pit. "That was a one-of-a-kind variety I was using to research Grass-type Pokémon diets!"
Lin Hao rubbed his nose awkwardly. May stared wide-eyed at the horrifying mud pit.
"What exactly... were you doing out here?" May swallowed. "It would've taken Pokémon at Gym Leader level fighting all day to cause this much destruction!"
"I didn't do anything." Lin Hao stubbornly denied it. "Maybe a few wild Rattata were fighting over food."
"Since when can Rattata blast a crater thirty meters wide?!" May nearly lost her mind.
Professor Oak scrambled up from the ground and pointed at Lin Hao, trembling all over. "You brat! Pay up!" he roared furiously. "Planting and tending this vegetable patch cost at least five hundred thousand League Coins!"
"How much?" Lin Hao sucked in a sharp breath.
"Five hundred thousand! Not a coin less!" Professor Oak said through gritted teeth.
Lin Hao hurriedly checked his pockets. Apart from his depleted bank card, all he had were a few Pinduoduo coupons.
"Well... old man, I'm just an ordinary person. An ordinary person can't cough up five hundred thousand." Lin Hao backed away half a step. "How about I write you an IOU?"
"An IOU, my foot! If you don't have money, go earn it!" Professor Oak waved his hand angrily. "Hasn't the Gym in Vermilion City opened? Winning a Gym battle gets you a hundred thousand League Coins! Go battle!"
"But I was planning to soak in the hot springs on Cinnabar Island..."
"Go to Vermilion City first and earn the money to pay for my cabbages! Otherwise, I'll keep your mutated Eevee as collateral!"
"Fine, fine, I'll go, all right? A single penny really can bring an ordinary person to his knees." Lin Hao rubbed his hair.
Just then, the League Encrypted Communicator in May's pocket suddenly vibrated.
Her expression shifted slightly. She slipped behind a tree and answered the call. "Champion Lance, it's me."
"May." Lance's voice was exceptionally grave. "There's been a change of plan."
Before you continue