As they spoke, Haruka appeared on the monitor in the tasting room.
Haruka had been fitted with a ridiculous blindfold and, unable to see clearly, opened his mouth slightly as instructed. The eyes printed on the blindfold wore a "〇〇〇" expression, looking ready to cry-a selling point, apparently.
"Pfft, 〇〇〇! Haruka's gone 〇〇〇, hahaha!" Satoru Gojo, who was supposed to be on his team, rocked back and forth with laughter.
"That face looks familiar, Sukuna." "That's exactly his face when he begs to go back to sleep." The two brothers happily chatted about their little brother.
In any case, one thing was certain: "〇〇〇 Haruka" suited him perfectly.
While the waiting group was having such a lively time, a staff member placed shrimp shumai A in Haruka's mouth. Wearing his 〇〇〇 face, he chewed slowly... then mumbled, "I've had this at home."
Huh? No way. That shumai was made with imitation crab sticks??
The audience and the waiting group were probably thinking the same thing.
But then-
"Oh, right. I did make that a long time ago."
The speaker was the domestic-minded older brother. Instantly, everyone present looked at the leader of Three Tigers as though they had witnessed something unbelievable.
In contrast to the chaos among the waiting group, Haruka remained calm.
"Mm, mm, mm... Mm. Done."
He seemed to have finished A. Next, shrimp shumai B was popped into his mouth.
"Mm... Mm...?..."
This time, his expression turned dubious from the very first chew. After a few more, his mouth curved into a frown.
"Oh? Haruka Itadori seems rather unsure... Is he going to be all right?"
Just as the host said, Haruka swallowed, took a sip of water, and tilted his head.
"Haruka~, that's the highest-grade shrimp, so don't hesitate~."
Ignoring his partner Gojo's prayers, they brought over shrimp shumai C and placed it in his mouth while his head was still tilted.
Then, at that moment-
"Oh? Haruka Itadori's face has relaxed."
Just as host Ieiri observed, a smile bloomed across Haruka's face. Haruka, who rarely showed any expression at all.
The change in the corners of his mouth alone conveyed his feelings, making his 〇〇〇 face look as though he were crying tears of joy. He chewed several times, as if savoring it.
He let out a soft sigh.
"Delicious."
That was his answer.
Gojo decided right then to accept being downgraded. If Haruka was that satisfied, he didn't mind dropping to second-rate celebrity status.
On the monitor, Haruka removed his 〇〇〇 blindfold and was handed three signs marked A, B, and C.
Then... he raised a sign.
"My answer is..."
Yep, it's C. I know, I know.
"B."
"Oh?"
An unexpected reversal. A stir ran through the studio.
"Um~, I think Yuji probably made this shrimp shumai."
A caption appeared on the monitor: "*Made by Yuji Itadori of Three Tigers." The studio erupted.
"I remembered A because I'd had it before. It's probably shumai made with 'Almost Crab.' It was pretty good."
Megumi Fushiguro muttered, "No way. He even guessed the product name."
"B wasn't to my taste. I'm not used to that flavor, so I figured it was expensive.
And C tasted like the shrimp in the fried rice my brother made for me. So it was frozen shrimp."
In the studio, the Itadori twins had a harmonious family discussion. "Huh? Sukuna, you've cooked for Haruka?" "He wouldn't stop pestering me." On a certain social media platform with a blue bird logo, "Yuji's imitation crab shumai" and "Lord Sukuna can cook" began trending.
Meanwhile, Haruka was talking to a staff member.
"Oh... Um, if any of my answers are wrong, just make me disappear from the screen."
"What!? No, um... Are you really sure?"
"Yeah. I... know what Yuji's cooking tastes like."
"...A-all right, then."
Satoru Gojo spoke up in response.
"Haruka, you got it right, but don't put me in danger~."
Yet at that very moment, as though he could see the waiting group through the monitor, Haruka, the youngest of Three Tigers, narrowed his eyes and smiled.
"Just me. 'I'm the only one who needs to be the villain.'"
An unfair use of a famous line from his drama.
Every single cast member fell apart.
After wavering between B and C, Nobara Kugisaki of the first-year team chose C. "Honestly, this one's delicious."
Meanwhile, Mahito of the cursed spirit team said confidently, "This is too easy. The springy texture of the shrimp, that subtle sweetness, and the scent of the ocean all told me. The answer is... A." He chose the outright unacceptable option. Unfortunately, imitation crab sticks had no springy shrimp texture. And any scent of the ocean had been pulverized back at the fish-paste stage.
The contestants' return was truly a sorry sight.
"What a cooool Elizabethan Collar! You're amazing, Haruka." The moment the door opened, Satoru Gojo scooped Yuji Itadori up and lifted him high. Haruka Itadori grew a little dizzy as Gojo swung him around.
And then...
As soon as the contestant who had answered incorrectly emerged through the little door, a blur shot out and raced toward the waiting seats at tremendous speed.
Without slowing down, he slid onto his knees in front of Sukuna and prostrated himself.
"I am terribly sorry!"
Mahito curled himself up, rubbing his forehead against the floor.
Lord Sukuna looked down at him with an absolute-zero stare, his legs crossed.
Resting an elbow on his knee and his chin in his hand, he tilted his head slightly, assuming an even more condescending pose.
"...'Idiot.'"
☆ An immediate interruption to the show was imperative.
Cast list
• Yuji Itadori (leader of the idol group Three Tigers)
An adult. The eldest of Three Tigers, a cheerful, energetic idol who loved fussing over others. The three brothers had been scouted when they came to Tokyo.
He frequently posted on a certain blue bird social media platform, sharing scenes from their regular practice sessions, photos of meals with senior celebrities, and so on. He was good at both singing and dancing, but didn't understand complicated matters, so he left the paparazzi and relations with other idol groups entirely to his younger brothers.
His fan service consisted of making a rawr pose or showing off his abs. By far the most common message on his fans' handheld signs was "Please give me a smile." Even though he wasn't a McDonald's employee?
• Sukuna Itadori (lead vocalist and dancer of the idol group Three Tigers)
An adult. The second son of Three Tigers: cold, sadistic, and thoroughly full of himself-Lord Sukuna. He had originally opposed becoming an idol, but the eldest brother had dragged him along.
He almost never posted on a certain blue bird social media platform, but occasionally, as though staking a claim, he posted nothing but photos of the three brothers huddled together. Naturally, they were reposted like crazy in an instant. He handled paparazzi and irritating pests. They only had "talks."
He didn't do fan service. Unless it involved interacting with his brothers... in which case he occasionally obliged. Naturally, a common message on his fans' signs was "Cut me into three pieces." People around him constantly wondered whether this was really acceptable for an idol.
• Haruka Itadori (lead vocalist of the idol group Three Tigers)
Still a minor. The third son, responsible for Three Tigers' laid-back, soothing charm and occasional cool moments. Currently an idol and a student at a prestigious private university. Sukuna took him to and from university on his motorcycle. Yuji had invited them because being an idol looked fun, his older brother had been dragged along, and Haruka had simply tagged along after him.
He posted photos of food, desserts, beautiful scenery, and so on to a certain blue bird social media platform. People rarely appeared in them, but when the three brothers traveled together, he posted photos of all three from behind. Since he could be rather absentminded, reports of him openly appearing in public in loungewear, as he had this time, occasionally surfaced on social media. As the brains of the group, he shared information with other idols, dealt with troublesome seniors, and so on. Anything requiring a devious streak was also this boy's responsibility.
He occasionally offered fan service when the timing was right. Officially, it was to promote key lines from his dramas. Since he often fell asleep during concerts, the most common message on his fans' signs was "Wake up!" There was no other choice.
• Satoru Gojo (big-name actor)
An adult. Modeling, acting, singing, entertainment-he could do it all. A universally recognized star who proclaimed himself a senior to the Itadori Family. It had started when he found Haruka asleep in a staff corridor and picked him up, only to be kicked by the older brothers, who mistook him for a suspicious character as he stood there at a loss.
He posted behind-the-scenes photos and pictures from wrap parties on a certain blue bird social media platform. Recently, the Itadori brothers had appeared there quite frequently, and his fans called him the Itadori Family's cushion. He often went out in disguise when he thought it would be fun, and was responsible for collecting Haruka whenever he wandered around half asleep.
He routinely appeared at Three Tigers' concerts as a special guest.
His fan service was, of course, "Unlimited Void."
• Shoko Ieiri, Suguru Geto
Adults. Satoru Gojo's contemporaries, each active in a different field.
They couldn't keep up with Gojo's excessive free-spiritedness, but the three met for drinks once a month.
• Megumi Fushiguro, Nobara Kugisaki
Adults. Yuji Itadori's contemporaries as well as his industry seniors.
They had taught the clueless Itadori brothers everything about the industry from scratch. They frequently appeared together in dramas.
They were also widely known as cushions for the Itadori Family's eldest and youngest sons.
• Mahito
Lord Sukuna's lackey. His errand boy.
He hoped he wouldn't be cut into three pieces this year.
The term "plot convenience" existed.
For example, an anime protagonist in a crisis might gain the ultimate power through sheer rage, or a character in a novel might undergo an absolutely impossible transformation.
And apparently, such things existed in this world, too.
"Gojo-sensei, something terrible happened!!"
My adorable student's call came through, Yuji's anxious voice ringing in my ear. Yuji was normally quite energetic, but sometimes I wished he would watch his volume.
And another thing.
"Yuji, you haven't told me anything except that something terrible happened. Could you explain properly? Please?"
He wasn't a stupid kid, but a report that conveyed absolutely no information could only make me smile wryly.
"Oh, right. Sorry, Sensei.
But anyway, something terrible happened to Haruka!"
*...*
Correction. My student was an adorable, lovable idiot.
Being able to apologize right away was one of Yuji's strengths, but his answer hadn't improved. Something had definitely happened to his twin brother Haruka, but beyond that, I knew absolutely nothing.
Even I, the so-called strongest, couldn't glean any information from that, you know?
"Right, I'm the one who should apologize.
For now, could you put someone else there on the phone? I'd like to understand what's going on."
He was probably too frantic to explain properly. After I told him that, I heard an energetic reply, followed by him asking someone else. Listening to the sounds coming through the phone, I thought, This should sort things out, and spoke.
"Hi, Megumi. I heard 'something terrible happened.' Is everything okay?"
"Gojo-sensei."
His voice was extremely stiff.
Judging by how serious he sounded, Haruka had probably been injured or something. I waited for him to continue.
Several seconds later, an exceedingly serious voice answered.
"...Haruka shrank."
"Hm...?"
Apparently, things had gotten far more interesting than I'd imagined.
...One hour later
"I'm back!
Sensei!! Gojo-sensei!!"
The instant he returned to the dorm, he called loudly for me, his footsteps pounding as he ran inside.
Mm~, my students really do love me.
With that thought, I sank deeper into the sofa in the dorm's common lounge and recrossed my legs. To put it simply, the common area was the residents' living room, with three leather sofas arranged around an enormous television. There was also a glass coffee table, snacks, and shelves whose books and manga were frequently swapped out. Well, the place had been set up for Haruka, who fell asleep anytime, anywhere... but now it had also become a shared living room where I, his teacher, could relax.
"Sensei!!"
Speak of the devil. The boy's brother must be back.
The call came from right behind me, and I turned to look over the back of the sofa.
Yuji was a very polite boy who never skipped his greetings. If he was asking for my help without bothering with manners, it couldn't be anything trivial.
"This is terrible! Haruka-!!"
"Yuji, this is terrible."
When I turned, I nearly slid off the sofa.
"Oh my, so that's what you meant..."
From the bundle of cloth in a frantic Yuji's arms... a little head popped out.
The owner of that adorable little head was Haruka Itadori, looking four years old.
"Um~... So Haruka ended up like this because he protected Yuji from a cursed spirit's attack?"
That was my paraphrase of the explanation given by Megumi, who had walked back leisurely, unlike Yuji, who had sprinted into the common area. Perhaps because it was cold outside, Megumi had even taken his time making hot coffee.
"Yes. When Itadori went on a rampage afterward, Sukuna appeared and finished the cursed spirit with one punch."
"Huh... Was that really okay, Your Majesty, King of Cursed Spirits?"
Still, Megumi's detailed explanation cleared up a few things.
First, this had been caused by a cursed spirit's cursed technique.
Second, the effect would linger for a while even after the cursed spirit itself disappeared.
Sipping hot cocoa with extra sugar, I analyzed the situation and what might happen next. After all, even if little actual harm had been done, the slightest possibility of danger needed to be dealt with as soon as possible.
As I sat there with one leg rudely propped on the sofa and my chin resting on my knee-
Rustle, rustle.
Something soft pink moved at the edge of my vision.
"Hm?"
Puzzled, I looked down and found the little boy gripping the sofa, trying to climb up.
"Ngh, heave-ho..."
Little Haruka struggled to climb the sofa as though tackling a jungle gym. Now that he had turned into a toddler, even that small difference in height apparently felt like a towering wall.
What is this adorable little creature?
...And Satoru Gojo was deeply moved by this tiny creature, the likes of which he hadn't interacted with in ages.
It was hardly surprising. As a child, I'd never had normal playmates my own age, and even as an adult, my work rarely brought me into contact with toddlers.
The sight of that tiny creature kicking his short little legs hit me harder than I could have imagined, stirring my protective instincts.
I put my mug on the glass coffee table and silently raised both hands to my face, gently covering it with my palms.
"Ugh, ah... So fucking cute."
Caught completely off guard, Satoru Gojo suffered a total defeat. My true colors came out.
Tilting my head back with my hands over my face, I took a few deep breaths to calm down, then prepared to help Haruka, who was still battling the sofa.
Incidentally, Yuji was cheering Haruka on with an utterly serious expression. What are you doing, big brother? Megumi and Nobara, meanwhile, silently watched with their phone cameras aimed our way.
A glance at the spectators helped me calm down. When I turned back to little Haruka, he seemed to notice me watching.
His head, disproportionately large compared to his body, swivelled toward me, and his sleepy eyes met mine.
"Uh, um... Want me to pick you up?"
Unsure what those eyes were asking for, I ventured a guess.
"Mm, up."
He broke into a smile as though I'd answered correctly, spreading his arms toward me. Incidentally, it was the first time any of the three of us besides Yuji had seen Haruka smile. Each of us was struck straight through the heart and utterly enchanted in our own way.
And then the "Itadori Family's little brother" grew worried about me as I fell apart.
"...? Tummy-tum hurt?"
"Ngh," I groaned. Naturally, Gojo was the first to crumble.
Afterward, Haruka grew very clingy, worried about the wreck I'd become.
"Tummy-tum hurts, so Haruka-warmer makes it go bye-bye. That's why I'm being a Haruka-warmer."
I didn't understand what he meant, but his words were adorable. He was now sitting between my legs, with a blanket sporting tiger ears, procured from somewhere, draped over both of us.
He probably just wanted to sleep, but he was simply too cute.
"Oh, Sensei.
'Tummy-tum' means his stomach, and 'Haruka-warmer' means Haruka's going to be a substitute hot-water bottle."
Yuji chimed in with an explanation at just the right moment. It only made my heart flutter harder.
Huh, so he thought my stomach hurt and wanted to warm it up for me. Wow, that's adorable.
True to form for Haruka, the child between my legs was already fast asleep.
Watching his peaceful sleeping face, I wondered whether something could be done about his usual expressionless look. Thinking back, even I, his homeroom teacher, had only ever seen him cry. If he smiled like Yuji, surely everyone would adore him.
The thought came to me as I poked the sleeping child's mochi-soft cheek with a finger.
"Hey... Yuji."
Maybe he used to be more expressive, and something had happened to make him this way. That was what prompted me to speak.
"Did something sad happen to Haruka in the past that made his facial muscles like this?"
His shoulders gave a little jolt. Hearing my theory, Megumi and Nobara also realized the possibility and slowly turned their eyes toward Yuji.
Huh, did my offhand guess actually hit the mark? Maybe cheerful Yuji has a dark past too, and he's just forcing himself to stay upbeat...
As Yuji lowered his head, his two classmates shot me reproachful glares.
"Ah, sorry, Yuji. If it's hard to talk about-'Pfft'... Huh?"
The apology I immediately offered under those icy stares was interrupted by a snort of laughter. And the one who'd burst out laughing was, of course... Yuji.
After that apparently uncontrollable snort, he began giggling happily.
"Hahaha, not at all! Gojo-sensei, your imagination's way too wild."
He doubled over laughing, then collapsed onto the floor, still giggling. Then Yuji continued.
"First off, Haruka's plenty expressive right now, isn't he?"
He pointed. The child sleeping against my stomach rolled over.
Then he rubbed his face against my chest as though sulking.
"Huh, but isn't he... turned into a little kid right now?"
I was implying that he was only so expressive because he was a child.
"Mmm, nope. His body's smaller, but inside, he's the Haruka of right now. Right, Haruka?"
Along with that bombshell, Yuji thrust up his thumb. He said something like, "Your big brother knows everything," but I had no attention to spare for that.
Huh, wait. Then the Haruka here with me right now...
Wanting to sneak a look at his face, I placed a hand on his little head.
But he promptly burrowed into the tiger-striped blanket and pulled the hood down low. Those twitching tiger ears were adorable, though.
"Haruka? I really want to see your face right now."
Teasing him, I reached for his hood. I lifted the edge a little, revealing a glimpse of a red ear.
"No," he said, burying his face in my chest again.
At that sight, I silently glanced toward the filming crew behind me-camera: Megumi, sound: Nobara, clapperboard: Yuji. They were fully prepared. Hey, you guys were awfully well organized!
Meanwhile, after rubbing his tiger ears against me several times, little Haruka finally spoke.
"...I can let myself be spoiled once in a while when I turn into a kid, can't I?"
His tone was sulky. I didn't have to look to know he was pouting.
Ah... My students really are adorable, I thought.
"Hehe, I'm so loved. Come on, not just Haruka-everyone, come here!"
The ones who leaped into my wide-open arms were... the Itadori Family twins, of course.
Their two classmates kept filming with serious expressions, clearly pleased with their handiwork. Send me the video later, okay?
Haruka Itadori's point of view
I had shrunk. I wanted to complain about whatever Cursed Technique this was, but my toddler body was twice as sluggish as usual, and I surrendered to my drowsiness instead of explaining.
As a result, everyone assumed both my body and mind had regressed. Once things had reached that point, an idea suddenly occurred to me.
Looking like this, even someone who doesn't usually ask to be spoiled could get away with it, right?
Looking back now, it was a stupid idea. But I put that plan into action, only for Yuji to expose everything and for me to be thoroughly showered with affection.
And then, afterward.
Night fell, and Yuji and I crawled under the covers to sleep. Feeling his warmth, I closed my eyes and sank into a deep sleep, as though being dragged to the bottom of a deep swamp.
"Hah. You really do love using other people's laps as pillows."
The voice came from above my head. Still sleepy, I lifted my head, only for a cold hand to press it back down.
"Stay like that, unless you want to roll off."
It was unmistakably my big brother's voice. His awkward but gentle hand stroked my hair.
"Big brother, am I heavy?"
With my head resting on his lap, it had to weigh quite a bit. Worried that I might be hurting his legs, I asked, only to be bluntly shut down with, "Mind your own business."
"For starters, you should know better than anyone how strange your body's become."
At his words, I lifted my eyelids and looked.
Sure enough... what met my eyes was a small, soft hand. Like a little bread roll?
"Still four years old..."
As I muttered with a disappointed sigh, a large hand with long nails enclosed my little one.
"So fragile."
It was a remark born of simple surprise. Then, as his hand slowly unfolded my fingers, he handled them as carefully as something breakable.
"Big brother, have you never been around toddlers like this?"
"Who knows? I've never looked at things that don't interest me."
As he spoke, his huge arm scooped me up and settled me on his lap. My head rested securely against his broad chest, and it was surprisingly comfortable.
"Sleepy..."
It was normal for me to get sleepy once I relaxed. But today, my consciousness felt more hazy than usual.
"It must be the toddler body. Hurry up and sleep like you always do."
With that, all I could do was sleep. The place my brother sat was all bones, we were surrounded by huge bones, and the room was too dark... There was plenty I wanted to complain about, but in the face of drowsiness and a comfortable bed, I decided not to dwell on things that would spoil the mood.
"Mm, good night, big brother."
I nestled my forehead against him, and my consciousness sank into darkness.
But what I hadn't known at the time was this.
Right after I fell asleep, Yuji climbed up, gripping the bones around my brother.
"Hey, be a little nicer to me too."
"Hah. Big words for a brat. I threw away any affection for you long ago."
My older brothers had that conversation... and then both of them lay down on the bed of bones.
The three brothers might not have slept in a neat row, but that day, all three of us truly slept together. It didn't matter that we were somewhere as strange as an Innate Domain, or that the youngest brother had turned back into a child. For the three of us to gather like this in the depths of a dream was precisely Ryomen Sukuna's small, whimsical wish.
Before you continue