You're Entirely to Blame

The Thunder Clan elder was planted in the dirt like a radish, with only his legs twitching in the wind.

Dead silence.

Only Shi Shoushan kept clutching his aching lower back, leaning against the firewood pile and groaning, "Ow, ow." He sounded miserable, but his voice was remarkably strong.

The remaining Thunder Clan members gripped their weapons, unable to advance or retreat. The boy named Lei Kun felt his calves cramp and his throat clog as though stuffed with cotton. He stared at the black pot, still smoking, and hardly dared breathe.

"Don't understand human speech?"

Shi Hou raised his foot.

His black leather boot came down on the unconscious elder's fingers sticking out of the ground.

He ground them underfoot.

Crack.

The crisp sound of finger bones breaking.

The unconscious elder's body jerked like a salted fish getting electrocuted, but he still failed to wake.

"Compensation."

Shi Hou held out his hand. The black skin of his palm gleamed with a cold, hard metallic sheen in the sunlight.

"Let's be reasonable. First, you lost the wager, so the goods belong to me. Second, this old bastard had no martial honor and ambushed a junior. Third..."

Shi Hou pointed at Shi Shoushan, who was grimacing in the distance. His voice was grief-stricken and indignant, as though mourning his parents.

"He even severely injured my poor old father, who couldn't truss a chicken! Look! He can't even straighten his back! This is destroying another family's happiness! This is cutting off someone's future!"

The middle-aged Thunder Clan man's face turned green, his mouth twitching violently.

He pointed a trembling finger at Shi Shoushan. "That... that was your pig hitting him!"

Everyone had seen it perfectly clearly. That black pig had shot out like a cannonball and sent Shi Shoushan flying headfirst. That crisp crack of bone had clearly been the sound of a pig's head striking a lower back. What the hell did it have to do with their elder?

"Bullshit!"

Shi Hou's eyes widened, his voice thundering.

"If this old bastard hadn't thrown a lightning spear, would I have thrown the pig? If I hadn't thrown the pig, would the pig have flown? If the pig hadn't flown, could it have hit my dad?"

Shi Hou counted it off on his fingers, his logic a flawless closed loop.

"That's cause and effect! That's the butterfly effect! At the end of the day, this old fossil is the root of all evil! What, is the Thunder Clan trying to welch?"

The middle-aged Thunder Clan man stood openmouthed, his head buzzing.

That logic... something seemed wrong with it, yet every word seemed reasonable.

"Skinny Monkey's right!"

Shi Hao ran over on his short little legs, his small face solemn, carrying half a broken piece of lightning-struck wood.

"And this old man scared Kang."

Shi Hao pointed at the black pig sprawled on the ground, foaming at the mouth with all four feet in the air.

"Look, Kang fainted from fright. That's emotional distress. You have to pay!"

Looking at these two bandits, one big and one small, the Thunder Clan members felt their last line of defense collapse.

In a fight, they couldn't beat that pot.

In an argument, they couldn't beat that mouth.

"Take it!"

The middle-aged Thunder Clan man nearly ground his back teeth to pieces. He ripped the Treasure Bag from his waist and hurled it onto the ground.

"These are the spirit herbs I've saved up over many years. Take them and treat your father's back!"

"And yours."

Shi Hou didn't pick it up. He tipped his chin toward the Thunder Clan boys standing dumbstruck behind the man.

"Take out everything valuable on you. Don't make me do it myself. I'm heavy-handed, and I might crush a few bones while searching you."

Clatter, clatter.

A frantic scramble followed.

Jade pendants, treasured artifacts, bracers... the Thunder Clan members stripped themselves clean as though fleeing a plague god, tossing everything into a small mountain on the ground. Then they hauled up the elder still planted in the dirt and slunk into the woods, not even daring to leave a threat behind.

"Take care! Come visit often!" Shi Hou waved, smiling as brightly as a brothel madam.

The Thunder Clan members disappeared from view.

His smile vanished instantly.

Shi Hou turned.

His deep, dark eyes locked onto the Purple Mountain Marquis's group, who were preparing to slip away along the wall, and the tribal chief riding a golden wolf, now trembling all over.

"Gentlemen."

Shi Hou thumped the black pot on his back down onto the ground.

Thud!

The ground trembled.

Everyone preparing to flee froze as though struck by an immobilization spell.

The middle-aged man from the Purple Mountain Marquis Estate turned around with difficulty, forcing a smile uglier than tears.

"Little brother, what else can we do for you? We... never attacked."

"You didn't."

Shi Hou strolled over to the heap of spoils, casually picked up a glowing bone, and tossed it in his hand.

"But you watched the show for so long. Aren't you buying a ticket?"

"Buying... a ticket?"

The Golden Wolf Tribe's chief had a fiery temper. Veins bulged in his neck, and he finally lost his patience.

"Brat, don't get greedy! The Thunder Clan lost a wager, but we didn't! We were invited to attend the ceremony. Why should we pay?"

"Attend the ceremony?"

Shi Hou grinned, exposing a mouthful of gleaming white teeth.

He pointed at the unfilled pit in the ground.

"Doesn't filling that pit require a labor fee?"

He pointed at the leaves shaken loose by the sound waves nearby.

"Those trees-doesn't sweeping up require a cleaning fee?"

Finally, he pointed at his own pitch-black face.

"And me. To perform a specialty like 'flattening Spirit Transformation with one pot,' I expended my blood energy. Doesn't that require a nutritional allowance?"

He stepped forward.

His aura suddenly surged.

Though the blood energy behind his five hundred and fifty thousand jin of strength had settled, the murderous aura of someone who had just flattened a Spirit Transformation Realm expert remained.

"Either leave a toll."

"Or I swing the pot again."

"I think you look pretty impressive riding that wolf. I wonder if you'll still look so majestic after being slapped into the dirt."

This was naked robbery.

The Golden Wolf chief's face flushed red. His hand pressed against his broad saber, and a vicious gleam flashed in his eyes.

A mighty overlord, being extorted to his face by some mountain brat who hadn't even grown all his hair?

"You're courting death!"

A furious roar rang out.

The golden wolf beneath him threw back its head and howled. Its golden fur bristled, and the savage aura of a primordial remnant erupted.

The air instantly grew thick.

Cave Heaven Realm pressure!

The Golden Wolf chief grinned viciously. Above his head, a hazy gray volcanic crater flickered into view, spewing auspicious radiance and drawing in the essence of heaven and earth.

"You really think beating one old Thunder Clan ghost makes you invincible? Today, on behalf of your elders, I'll..."

Before he finished speaking.

The charred willow at the village entrance, which had remained as quiet as part of the scenery.

Moved.

There was no gale.

There was no thunder.

That willow branch, green enough to drip, merely brushed lightly through the air.

Like a spring breeze sweeping across a lake.

Pop.

An exceedingly faint, crisp sound.

Like a soap bubble being punctured.

The cave heaven above the Golden Wolf chief's head, freshly formed and still pouring out auspicious radiance, shattered instantly.

Not even a scrap remained.

Immediately afterward.

That terrifying, overbearing pressure seemed to be pressed straight into the mud by an invisible hand.

Thump!

The five-meter-tall golden wolf mount's forelegs buckled, and it dropped to its knees on the spot.

Its knees shattered the bluestone paving, sending fragments flying.

The Golden Wolf chief was flung off, landed face-first, and slid three meters, stopping right at Shi Hou's feet.

Dead silence fell over everyone.

Cold sweat poured down the forehead of the middle-aged man from the Purple Mountain Marquis Estate, soaking his collar. He stiffly turned his head to look at the willow branch gently swaying in the breeze.

A deity gazed down.

Without emotion, yet capable of crushing every ant beneath it.

Shi Hou lowered his head.

He looked at the Golden Wolf chief at his feet, whose face was pressed against the ground as he struggled to lift his head but could not move.

He crouched.

Reaching out with his black hand, he patted the chief's contorted face.

"Teach me a lesson?"

"Go on, keep talking. I'm listening."

"Oh, right. I forgot one charge."

Shi Hou pointed at the willow.

"That shout of yours just disturbed our Sacrificial Spirit's sleep."

"The temper upon waking is quite something."

"This appeasement fee... shouldn't we work it out carefully?"

A clicking noise came from the Golden Wolf chief's throat as his teeth chattered.

With a trembling hand, he struggled to pull a heavy beast-hide pouch from inside his clothing and shakily pushed it toward Shi Hou.

"I'll... I'll pay..."

"I'll give you everything..."

A quarter of an hour later.

The village entrance stood empty.

The various major powers had fled faster than rabbits.

The ground was piled with treasured artifacts, spirit herbs, ores, and essence jade.

Shi Hou sat cross-legged on the ground, tallying the spoils. Shi Hao crouched beside him, his eyes turning into gold coins as his little hands kept stuffing things into his clothes.

"This sparkly stone is pretty. It's for Dazhuang."

"This dagger's nice. It's for Ermeng."

"This herb... oh no, someone sat on it and squashed it. Skinny Monkey, can we still stew it?"

Shi Hou snatched the flattened spirit herb and tossed it into the black pot.

"Yes. Absolutely. Everything can be stewed."

He stood and clapped his hands.

This time, he had not only driven off the flies but also made a windfall. Most importantly, he had established his might.

"Skinny Monkey."

Shi Yunfeng approached with his walking stick. Looking at the treasures strewn across the ground, his aged face held both wonder and worry.

"So many things... but we've also offended them beyond repair."

"What's there to fear?"

Shi Hou waved a hand and pointed at the big pot behind him.

"As long as we're strong enough, they're just delivering ingredients."

He turned to face the villagers, whose eyes burned with fervor.

Shi Hou drew a deep breath.

He beckoned with one hand.

The Suanni corpse sealed within the space inside the pot was released.

Boom!

Golden radiance instantly illuminated the village entrance.

Though dead for several days, this primordial remnant still emanated vast life essence. A single breath of it was enough to open everyone's pores.

"Stop standing around."

Shi Hou rolled up his sleeves, exposing his pitch-black forearms.

He raised the stone knife and gave it a testing swing in the sunlight.

His gaze was focused.

"Set up the pot. Boil the water."

"Today, we're having the full banquet."