Archimedes Three

Yun Tian looked down at Yu Yan in his arms.

"Are you really not embarrassed?"

Yu Yan blushed without answering. She tried to struggle upright, but all the strength seemed to have left her body, leaving her slumped in Yun Tian's arms.

"Let go of me. Let me get up."

Yu Yan spoke.

"Oh, so I'm supposed to let go just because you say so? Wouldn't that make me look bad?"

"Unless..."

"Unless what?"

"Unless you call me Big Brother Yun Tian."

"In your dreams!" Yu Yan rejected his demand outright. She was a Spirit God who had lived for who knew how many years, and now he wanted her to call some young man big brother? No way, absolutely not. It was too embarrassing.

Yun Tian spoke with a wicked grin.

"Are you sure you won't? If you do, I'll grant you one request."

"Something like restoring your strength to its peak."

"Hm? Really? Anything I ask?"

"Yes. Think about it. What a bargain." Like a shady uncle tricking a child, Yun Tian coaxed Yu Yan along step by step.

Yu Yan thought it over. It really did seem like a good deal.

"Fine, I'll say it."

Yu Yan lowered her head and called out in a tiny voice.

"Big Brother Yun Tian."

"Hm? What? I didn't catch that. Say it again."

"Big Brother Yun Tian," Yu Yan said again.

"Huh? I still didn't hear you."

Seeing that Yun Tian was being shameless, Yu Yan grabbed his ear and shouted into it.

"Yun Tian! Did you hear that?"

"Ah! I heard you! I heard you!"

Yun Tian hurriedly pulled free and covered his ear.

"Yu Yan, you nearly deafened me with that shout!"

"Hmph. Weren't you having trouble hearing? Did you hear me that time?"

"Yu Yan, that was deliberate revenge!"

"What are you going to do about it?"

"All right, I said it. Hurry up and grant my request."

"What did you say? You did this to my ear, and you still want something?"

"I don't care. If I say I said it, then I said it." There was nothing of a Spirit God about Yu Yan now. She looked just like a girl stubbornly insisting she was right even when she wasn't.

But Yun Tian's attitude was, You're being unreasonable here, so how will you handle it if I play dirty too? And so...

"What request? Why don't I know anything about that?"

"Huh? You clearly said you'd grant me one request if I said it!"

"Did I say that? How come I don't remember?"

"You... you..."

Faced with Yun Tian's shamelessness, Yu Yan had no answer.

Yun Tian looked at Yu Yan. She was pouting and glaring at him indignantly. Deciding he had teased her enough, he spoke.

"All right, I agree. You get your request. Tell me, what do you want?"

"Really?"

At his words, Yu Yan immediately asked.

"Yes."

"Then I want a cultivation technique."

"A cultivation technique? Don't you already have one?"

"I mean one like Little Yue'er's. My current technique can't compare to the ones you give out."

Yun Tian thought it over. She had a point. After all, this world wasn't particularly high-level. Even a Spirit God's cultivation technique was nothing special, and certainly couldn't compare with the techniques in the system.

"Sure. Wait a moment."

Yun Tian browsed through the system. Yes, there it was.

"Here. This one suits you."

Yu Yan took the cultivation technique and became absorbed in it after just a brief glance. Seeing that she wouldn't finish anytime soon, Yun Tian decided not to disturb her and prepared to head outside for a stroll.

"Ling'er, Little Yue'er, I'm heading out for a bit. Do you want to come?"

"Oh, Husband, you're going out?"

"Yes. We've been in the mountains for months, so I'm going out for a look around."

"Then I want to come too."

"Me too!" Little Yue'er hurriedly added.

"All right, let's go."

"Isn't Sister Yu Yan coming?"

"She's cultivating, so she can't."

"Oh."

The three of them left the courtyard. Outside, a man keeping watch from the shadows spotted them and spoke to those beside him without turning his head.

"Shit, why is that man here? And they're heading out! Third, Second, what do we do now?"

He waited a long while without a reply, then turned to look. What the hell? The bastards were asleep, and one was even talking in his sleep.

"Hehe, Cuihua, marry me. Eldest and Second are no good. They're too weak. Look how strong I am."

Hearing Third's words, Eldest spoke.

"Motherfucker! Holy shit!"

Eldest slapped Third across the face.

"Wake up, you fucking bastard! Still sleeping?"

Third jolted awake from the slap, and the noise woke Second as well. Both stared blankly at Eldest.

"What's wrong, Eldest? What happened?"

"What happened? You fucking bastards! I'm working my ass off keeping watch here, and you two dumbasses are sleeping!"

"Fuck you, you #*·&&&*:％;****!"

"You stupid ****-##***!"

Eldest launched into a tirade and only stopped once he was exhausted. Then Third spoke.

"Eldest, I just thought of something."

"What?"

"Well, Eldest, you keep saying 'fuck your mother' when you curse us. But aren't we brothers with the same mother? Doesn't cursing us mean you're cursing yourself too?"

Second said, "Yeah. When Third puts it that way, that's exactly right."

"Third, you're a real genius."

"Hehe, I think so too. Wasn't there a guy called Archimedes a long time ago? I'm more awesome than him, so from now on, call me Archimedes Three. I'm an even greater genius than he was."

"Really, Third? Why do I remember Archimedes being pretty awesome?"

"Second, you're being narrow-minded."

"Look, Archimedes was amazing, right?"

"Right."

"And aren't I a genius too?"

"Then look at where Archimedes is now."

"Well, I don't know."

"I do. He's hiding because he doesn't dare face a genius like me."

"Really, Third? I'm not very educated, so don't fool me."

"Of course. Look, hasn't Archimedes stopped showing up altogether?"

"Seems like it."

"There you go. He's scared."

"Is it that two kings never meet, or that he's avoiding my brilliance?"

"Damn, Third, you really are Archimedes Three. Even Archimedes is afraid of you!"

"Of course!"

Watching Second and Third spout utter nonsense, Eldest's mouth twitched. Were they really three brothers by birth? Was there a chance those two had been picked up somewhere?

As Eldest watched Second and Third babble away, he thought for a moment. He seemed to have forgotten something. What was it? Ah, forget it. If he couldn't remember, he wouldn't bother thinking about it.